


Let's Make Love Together

by khaleesiofalicante



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, M/M, Malec Fluff, No Angst, also only good stuff happening, everyone in this fic is either gay or a mess or both, malec highschool au, yall are safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 111,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22286842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khaleesiofalicante/pseuds/khaleesiofalicante
Summary: The Jock™ Jace Herondale likes The New Girl™ Clary Fairchild. The New Girl™ Clary Fairchild also likes The Jock™ Jace Herondale. But alas, insecurities and lack of brain cells prevent the two from getting together.So, The Quiet One™ Alec Lightwood and The Popular Kid™ Magnus Bane decide to plan and execute “Operation Clace” - because sometimes the soulmate BS™ is real.A malec highschool au with fluff, fluff and some more fluff.
Relationships: Isabelle Lightwood/Simon Lewis, Jace Lightwood/ Clary Fairchild, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 337
Kudos: 640





	1. Literature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The new girl?” Jace looked suddenly interested in the conversation. “She is the one with the red hair and freckles on her nose, right?”
> 
> “I think so?” responded Alec, who had never been interested enough in girls to see what’s on their nose or anywhere else to be honest.
> 
> Functional families, First detentions, Gay messes and other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pumpkins, I am back!!
> 
> Happy reading :)

Alec closed his copy of Wuthering Heights and stared into ceiling. He had to pick a British classic of his choice for his semester assignment. Even though Alec was familiar with most of the classics, he immediately knew that his choice would be Wuthering Heights as soon as Mr. Herondale had given them the assignment. He was more than happy to spend the semester in the library doing additional research about his favorite book.

So, yes. Alec was bit of a nerd.

He had always preferred the company of books to people. There was something about fictional characters that seemed real more than...well, real people. 

Although he had friends like Maia and Aline in school, he mostly hung out with Jace and Izzy. It wasn’t weird, even though both his siblings were juniors while Alec himself was a senior. The Lightwoods always hung out together. Even if he couldn’t be more different from Jace and Izzy – standing in between the two of them had always felt like the right place to be.

After reluctantly getting up from the bed and dragging himself downstairs for breakfast, Alec realized that today was the day.

“Are you ready for your first ever detention?” Jace asked excitedly, looking up from the kitchen counter.

Alec groaned in response and walked towards the coffee machine. He was going to need lots of this to get through today.

“Morning, sweety,” his mother greeted him as she kissed him on the cheek and stole the mug of coffee from his hands.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Alec protested but Maryse Lightwood waved her hand in his direction in the way of an explanation. Alec sighed tiredly and poured himself another.

“What even happens in detention?” Alec inquired curiously. “There is no group work or anything , right?”

Dear god, please don’t let there be any group work.

“Group work?” Jace snorted as he bit into his avocado toast. “Alec, you sweet summer child!”

“Just answer the question, Jace!” Alec rolled his eyes. Of course, Jace had been in detention enough times to write a book about it.

“No, there is no group work,” Jace replied a bit more sympathetically this time. “As far as I know, it’s just you today.”

“What about Sebastian?”

“We have football after school. So, bastard got away with it!”

“Language,” his mother’s voice echoed from some part of the house.

Alright that’s good news. He was already regretting the altercation with Sebastian last week. Well, not really. He didn’t really regret the part where he called Sebastian ‘a beast and a swine and a bloody, bloody thief’. Of course, the other boy had not grasped the reference but nonetheless had been offended enough to ruin Alec’s English homework.

“I cannot believe he spilled ink all over your homework,” Jace complained, his nostrils flaring. Alec was glad that Jace and Izzy had been absent during the whole ordeal since he didn’t want them to get into trouble because of him. The two of them found enough trouble on their own.

“Well, I did provoke him,” Alec reminded his brother. “I called him ‘a beast and a swine-”

“And a bloody, bloody thief,” Jace finished with a smirk. “Nice literature burn by the way.”

Alec smiled at the boy sitting across him and then quickly shook his head. “No. I shouldn’t have done that, Jace. It was not the right way to handle the situation. I should have reported him to a teacher or something.”

“You only did that because that dick was being a racist and stole Maia's assignment!” Jace argued – ever the one to have Alec’s back.

“Jonathan!” his mother chastised again, as she walked into the kitchen, carrying her leather briefcase.

She walked over to Alec and pushed the hair away from his face, something she did every single day, regardless of how well he combed it. Alec never understood why she had to obsessively fix his hair every single morning before she went to work. But that’s Maryse Lightwood to you. She was a lawyer by profession – her job was to fix things and Alec wasn’t an exception.

“You don’t have to stay back for detention if you don’t want to,” she reminded him again. “I can talk to Luke. Detention is such an archaic discipline mechanism anyway. I don’t know why most schools still follow it. It is a complete waste of time.”

“You are preaching to the choir, mom,” Alec informed her and sat down in front of Jace.

“Well, he should do something about it soon,” his mom said firmly as she quickly grabbed the last piece of avocado toast from Jace’s plate.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Jace protested.

“I think he is actually looking into it,” Alec interrupted before Jace started ranting about avocados. “The new girl was saying something about it last week.”

“The new girl?” Jace looked suddenly interested in the conversation. “She is the one with the red hair and freckles on her nose, right?”

“I think so?” responded Alec, who had never been interested enough in girls to see what’s on their nose or anywhere else to be honest.

“That’s Jocelyn’s daughter, isn’t?” his mother chimed in, pouring herself more coffee. “I ran into Jocelyn last week in court. She told me that Casey had settled in well at Idris.”

“Clary,” Jace mumbled to no one in particular.

“Maybe he’ll listen to the new girl,” Alec wondered out loud. It didn’t affect him personally since he was not likely to be seen in detention ever again and he would be graduating soon anyway.

“Stop calling her the ‘New Girl’ you dummies,” Izzy retorted as she came down the stairs and sat next to Alec. “She has been at Idris for almost a semester now.”

She was wearing black pants and a vermillion leather jacket over her silver tank top. The jacket looked like it could be too warm for the climate but his sister did not look uncomfortable one bit. Alec didn't understand people who wore clothes without considering the weather since it was literally the only thing he thought about when choosing his clothes every morning.

“According to the rules she will be the New Girl™ until someone else joins Idris and takes over,” Jace explained.

“Who is going to join in the middle of the year?” Alec puzzled. “Why can’t we just call her Casey?”

“Because that’s not her name,” Jace mumbled again into his toast.

“Would you rather we call her 'Mrs. Lightwood'?” Izzy giggled, licking the Nutella off the butter knife like the animal that she was.

Jace rolled his eyes in exasperation but Alec was close enough to see the pink spots on his brother’s cheeks.

Their mother cooed in sudden interest and clapped her hands. “Jace, you never told me that you are dating her!”

“It’s because I am not!” Jace responded in an annoyed tone, which Alec immediately recognized as a call for a help.

“Mom, are we going to meet Max anytime soon?” Alec asked suddenly, effectively distracting his mother.

He felt slightly guilty for bringing up Max early in the morning but he couldn’t think of anything else in the moment. After his parents’ divorce, his father had taken Max with him to London. His little brother, who was still in middle school, had gone along with their father partly because he wanted to travel the world and partly because he wasn’t old enough to understand the concept of monogamy.

They all missed Max in their own way. Alec missed reading to him every night. Jace missed playing video games with their little brother. Izzy missed making him chocolate chip cookies. Alec was pretty sure that Max missed all of this too. Okay, maybe not that last part with Izzy’s cookies.

But it was their mother who missed Max the most. It wasn’t just because she was their mother. Maryse Lightwood had spent most of her 20’s working her ass off to become one of the best prosecutors in New York, which meant that she was rarely seen at home. Of course, this was not a reasonable justification to cheat on your wife – nothing was!.

Their mother had been looking forward to spend more time with all of them now that her position was permanent and she was in a good place professionally. But then the whole divorce debacle had happened and Max had been taken away. But their mother, who still stayed true to her word, spent as much time as possible with the three of them.

“Not soon, sweety,” his mother replied, with a sad smile on her face. “We might see him for Christmas though.”

“It’s not fair! Christmas is so far away,” Jace complained. “Why can’t they just move here?”

Because his father’s mistress – now wife – was British and he had relocated so that he can live with her instead. They all knew it, but no one had the courage to say it out loud.

“They can’t because dad decided to leave us for that homewrecker,” Isabelle pointed out, who Alec thought had more courage than all of them combined.

“It’s not fair,” Jace repeated, but more softly this time.

They were all affected by the divorce in their own way. Jace, his adopted brother, who had been living in broken homes and bad conditions, had worshipped their parents when they adopted him at the age of eight. So, it was understandable that he had been the most disappointed when this family had also collapsed around him.

The atmosphere in the kitchen seemed to worsen every passing minute and Alec decided to distract them once more.

“Did you guys know that Sebastian hooked up with Cee Li?” he asked, sharing the piece of hot gossip Maia had told him during biology on Friday.

“NO WAY!” Izzy blanched, distracted within seconds. “ARE YOU SERIOUS???”

God bless the attention span of teenagers.

“I don’t know why you sound so surprised, Iz,” Jace shrugged superiorly. Only Jace was capable of making body gestures like that. “I always knew she was a shady bitch.”

“Jonathan Christopher!” his mother exclaimed. She had been warning Jace to watch his profanity for months now but there seemed to be no real result.

“Mom, this is serious,” Izzy dismissed their mother in frustration. “I hope this is just a hookup. Those two better not start dating.”

"God, no!" Jace shivered. "It would be like Henry Crawford dating Lady Macbeth."

“I have told you kids before, there is nothing wrong with dating or hooking up,” his mother reminded them and then added quickly. “As long as it is consensual and safe.”

“Mom, please,” Alec begged.

Maryse Lightwood was a practical mother. She knew that there was no stopping them from doing what they wanted. So, she had told them to be safe and sensible. These talks of hers often included PowerPoint presentations covering various topics such as recreational drugs, drunk driving, exam stress and of course sex.

Now, Alec was sure that heterosexual sex was wonderful and all. But if he had to hear about the wonders of the clitoris one more time…

“I just don’t want you getting any STDs,” their mother pointed out.

“Hey, why did you look at me when you said that?” Jace inquired in an offended tone and the rest of them couldn’t hold back their laughter.

Although their family felt incomplete once in a while, at moments like this one, Alec felt like he couldn’t have asked for a better family.

“Are you seeing anyone, sweety?”

The laughter stopped abruptly but thankfully his mother was preoccupied with some case file to notice.

Here is the thing.

Alec was painfully gay. There was no doubt about that. He had always known that he liked boys and he had always been okay with that.

But unfortunately, like with most things in life, it didn’t matter whether you were okay with it or not. Almost all of our decisions were based on whether others were okay with it, which doesn’t really make any sense considering that it was none of their business – literally. 

Human beings are odd creatures.

“No, I am not,” Alec answered, trying to sound casual as possible.

Jace and Izzy knew. He had told them a couple of years ago – when his parents had informed the three of them about the possibility of a divorce.

Even though he had felt like his world was being torn apart when his parents had broken the news, he remembered feeling safe in the arms of Jace and Izzy who had promised him that they would protect him.

He didn’t know how a couple of 13 year olds were supposed to protect him and he didn’t know from what.

But he had believed them.

“Senior year is already stressful enough with the exams and college applications,” commented Izzy, his knight in shining armor. “You don’t need to date anyone, Alec.”

“That’s right,” Jace said from the dishwasher. “Alec can date whomever he wants whenever is ready.”

Date _anyone_. Date _whomever_.

Alec loved his siblings so much.

“Of course, he can,” his mother pointed out seriously. “You don’t have to date just because everyone else around you is dating.”

But he wanted to. God, he so badly wanted to.

Alec was a literature nerd. His hobby was reading the cheesiest novels in history. So, of course, he wanted to date.

He wanted to hold his boyfriend’s hand at football games.

He wanted to walk his boyfriend to class.

He wanted to stay up late texting his boyfriend.

He wanted to read in the library as his boyfriend slept on his shoulder.

He wanted to leave little gifts in his boyfriend’s locker.

He wanted to write silly love letters to his boyfriend

He wanted to kiss his boyfriend until it felt like his lungs were on fire.

He wanted to tell his boyfriend that he loved him – poetically and passionately, like his favorite heroes did in his favorite books.

But it’s kind of hard to do all of this when

  * You are not out in school
  * You are not out at all
  * You don’t have a boyfriend to do all of this with in the first place



“Alec, is everything alright?” his mother asked, bringing him out of him daze. “You know you can talk to me about anything right?”

He did know that.

He knew his mom loved him with her whole heart.

But it just wasn’t enough for him to come out to her.

He knew she loved him now but would she always?

Just because someone loves you right now, it doesn’t mean that they would love you forever. People change – especially when they learn new things about other people.

His parents had loved each other once but now they barely spoke. What if the same happens to him?

And worst of all, he worried that if she knew, it would forever change the way she sees him. He worried that every time she looked at him, it would be the only thing that she could see.

The way she looked at him now, her face full of concern and love – Alec never wanted that to change. Too much had changed recently and Alec didn’t want to deal with more of it.

So, Alec had decided to stay quiet. But he didn’t know how long he could maintain this charade.

“Everything is alright, mom,” Alec smiled at her. “It’s just what Izzy said - senior year stress.”

He was suddenly reminded of a quote from Wuthering Heights he had read a billion times before.

_“Honest people don't hide their deeds.”_

Yeah, well…Screw Emily Brontë, what the hell does she know anyway?

He was kidding, he loved her writing and she knew great many things. She just didn't know Alec's story.

His mother frowned. “Maybe you should drop some of those extra credit classes?”

“Maybe you should spend less time in the library?” Izzy chimed in.

“Mom, its fine. I can handle it, I promise,” he reassured her and then turned towards his sister. “Izzy, reading is my coping mechanism. If not for my books, I’d have gone crazy right now.”

Izzy shrugged and finishing swallowing her last piece of toast. “I am just saying that you should spend more time talking to real people than fictional ones.”

“You take that back!”

“No good comes from obsessing over what’s her face and Mr. Darcy, Alec!”

“First of all, her name is Elizabeth. It’s a very common name,” Alec admonished her. “Second of all, do I obsess over fictional couples in order to cope with my own loneliness? Mayhaps.”

Jace, Izzy and his mom suddenly looked very concerned.

“Guys, it was a joke!” Alec said quickly. “Oh my god, it was a joke!”

It wasn’t a joke.

He did obsess over fictional couples in order to cope with his own loneliness but ironically reading all the epic romances only made it harder to be attracted to people in real life.

You see, the bar had been set very high by his fictional heroes and now no one was tall enough to climb it.

“You should stop trying to make jokes, bro,” Jace advised him and then glared at Izzy. “And you! Let the man read.”

The three of them picked up their stuff, said goodbye to their mother and walked to the top of the street to wait for their school bus. Their dad used to drive them every day when Alec was in middle school. But they had to take the school bus now because they only had one car and they didn’t want their mom to drive them to school and then all the way back to work.

Alec didn’t mind the school bus. He always sat on the fourth seat on the right. It was his designated spot and everyone knew that. He sat down quickly and took out his copy of Wuthering Heights.

The rest of the day went slowly. Alec had fun during literature, since Mr. Herondale spoke to them about queer writers in history. His English teacher has always had a soft spot for the Lightwoods even fondly called them ‘Lightworms’ once in a while since his siblings were always worming their way into trouble.

Political Science was particularly boring as heck since some random teacher had to sub for Ms. Penhallow. But he got through the day somehow and was glad the day was almost over when he joined his siblings for lunch.

The three of them sat closer to the serving area since Jace liked to bribe the kitchen staff for extra food. Izzy was nowhere to be seen but he spotted his brother standing in the lunch queue staring at something, with a dazed look on his face.

Alec followed his gaze to see what he was staring at – because Jace usually didn’t stare at stuff with heart eyes, unless it was his own reflection.

On the other side of the cafeteria was Casey – no, Clary – talking to…Simon? Alec was pretty sure his name was Simon or something like that. They were all juniors so Alec didn’t know most of their names.

Hold on a minute now. Why was Jace staring at Simon? The other boy couldn’t look geekier if he tried, in his glasses and Spiderman t-shirt. But he seemed like a good guy and had even once offered to help Alec out in the library to carry a large stack of books.

But why would Jace look at Si…

Ohhhh.

“You like Clary,” Alec said matter of factly when Jace sat down in front of him.

There was a flash of panic in Jace’s golden eyes before a more careless look took over his face.

“Is that the latest gossip about me?” Jace whistled. “Man, the common folk are desperate for celebrity news.”

“Stop deflecting,” Alec scolded, throwing a piece of lettuce at his brother. “You actually like her!”

“No, I don’t! Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Um, maybe because you keep staring at her with heart eyes?”

“Slander!”

“Jace if you really like her, then maybe you should go talk to her,” Alec told his brother gently this time.

“You’re the one to talk,” Jace mumbled.

“What do you mean?” Alec asked confusedly.

“Three o’clock,” Jace cocked his head to the right.

Alec turned to see what he was talking about and immediately regretted looking at all.

There, standing in all his glory, was Magnus Bane.

Magnus Bane.

Hmmm. How does Alec explain this one?

You know how every teenager who has ever read Pride and Prejudice wants to marry Mr. Darcy?

Magnus Bane was the Mr. Darcy of Idris High.

Everyone wanted to be with him and those didn’t want to be with him wanted to be like him.

He was someone every student at Idris either admired or envied. Alec could never imagine what it would mean to be someone like Magnus.

A person who managed to shine every single second of their life – sometimes even literally, because of all the glitter.

Alec did not have a crush on Magnus Bane.

He was head over heels in love with that shiny bastard.

Of course, it was ridiculous to be in love with someone you barely know but if his fictional heroes had taught him anything it was that you cannot be a sixteen year old and not fall in love with a stranger.

Alec had been staring at Magnus from far for as long as he could remember but that’s all it has ever been. He had never approached the other boy or even tried to make friends with him. He couldn’t really see why someone like Magnus would even be remotely interested in him.

It was weird to advice someone to pursue their heart when you couldn't do it yourself. It made him feel like both a hypocrite and a coward.

"Will you ask Clary out if I ask Magnus out?"

Jace snorted into his milkshake. "Fat chance of that happening."

Even Jace knew that Alec would never do that. He didn't just stay away from Magnus because the other boy was a stranger. There was the fact that Alec wasn’t out in school yet.

Magnus was openly bisexual and a lot of other kids were out too. Idris had a zero tolerance policy on any type of bullying – one of the reasons why Alec had to stay back for detention today, as he had been rude to Sebastian.

He wasn’t scared of coming out at school. Some people probably even assumed since Alec has never dated anyone ever. But he didn’t care what his schoolmates thought. He cared about what his mother taught.

He didn’t want to think about that right now so he brought his focus back to Jace.

“I think she likes you too," Alec told his brother softly. 

“There is nothing between us, Alec!” Jace said in a serious tone now. “I don’t see why she would like me anyway.”

It was a ridiculous thing to say since Jace was what most girls called…they called him a lot of things. Alec couldn’t keep up.

Alec didn’t have to be gay to know that Jace was hot. In fact, it was Jace who had made Alec realize that he was not straight. Alec had confusedly thought that he had a crush on his brother whereas he had only been trying to make sense of his feelings.

And he was pretty sure that he had seen this Clary girl eyeing Jace in the hallway – but in fairness, most people did.

“Why you would say something like that?” Alec asked incredulously. “How do you know that she doesn’t like you if you don’t ask her?”

Jace raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘really?’ and Alec had the grace to blush. “This is different and you know it!”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to talk about it. Also, heads up. Mr. Darcy is walking over to our table.”

“What?” Alec gaped, understanding their code word immediately.

“He is walking over here,” Jace repeated.

“ACT COOL! ACT COOL!”

“ALEC, CALM DOWN!”

Then panic took over and Alec grabbed his lunch tray in a nervous fit, dropping all of its contents on the table, and put it right in front of his face.

“Alec, you can’t hide behind the lunch tray! He is going to see you anyway,” Jace voice said exasperatedly.

“Oh my god, you are right!” Alec blabbered and put down the tray.

The entire table was covered in food and Alec felt really bad about wasting it.

Magnus walked over to their table holding his own tray not long after that and Alec had never felt more mortified in his entire life. He quietly prayed to Emily Brontë’s ghost to save his gay soul.

“Jace,” Magnus greeted as he got closer and then turned towards him. “Hello, Alexander.”

Alexan-

DOES THIS MAN WANT HIM TO DIE???

No one had called Alec that in years – not unless if you count that one time a substitute teacher mistakenly called him that when taking attendance.

Alec had always liked how his heroes called each other by their last names; there was something intimate about it.

There was intimate about Magnus calling him by his full name too.

Or maybe he was reading into it too much. Yep, definitely the second one.

“Hey, Magnus!” Jace greeted and Alec realized that he hadn’t even greeted the other boy back.

God, he was a mess.

“Isabelle asked me to pass the message that she won’t be making it to lunch. She is stuck in the lab.”

Well, that explained her absence. Only Isabelle would use Magnus Bane as her personal postal service.

He wanted to at least thank the other boy for conveying the message. He look up at him properly and immediately closed his mouth.

Magnus was wearing a navy blue blazer over a white shirt. His belt buckle said ‘M’ in shiny rhinestones and complimented his maroon pants. There was a streak of blue in his hair today and his fingers were adorned with rings.

It should not be legal to look this good. It simply should not!

Idris High conducts certain awareness programs for students about things like bullying, STDs and self-defense. Last week, he had listen to a stranger talk about _‘Coping with Senior Stress – How Not to Lose Yourself’_. For some reason, listening to the man talking about stress had only made it worse.

Of course, he hadn’t listened at all as he had been busy staring at Magnus, who had been sitting a few rows before him with his friends. Magnus had worn a black leather jacket that day and Alec had almost passed out in the auditorium.

Maybe he should ask principal Garroway to conduct a session for this too. _‘Coping with Magnus Bane – How Not to Lose Your Mind.’_

Alec was not sure about the other students, but he might really benefit from it.

Someone cleared their throat loudly and Alec realized he had been staring at Magnus the whole time instead of thanking him. He quickly averted his gaze and looked down at the table – which was incidentally the wrong place to look.

“What’s up with the mess?” Magnus asked, pointing at the spilt content and the empty tray.

Jace slightly shook his head, clearly asking him not to tell the truth, and Alec panicked again.

“It’s food for the ants.”

Emily Brontë, please. Now is the time.

“Ants?” Magnus raised an eyebrow, a look that shouldn’t be attractive at all but was anyway.

“Yeah, it’s a project I am doing,” Alec explained, having no control of the words that left his mouth. “For the Animal Rights Association.”

EMILY, WHERE ARE YOU????

“I didn’t know you were part of the club,” Magnus puzzled.

“My friend Maia is the president,” Alec replied, finally saying something that was the truth. “I am more of a silent member.”

“Ohhh,” Magnus said – wondering god knows what.

“Thanks for passing the message, Magnus!” Jace said finally – and Alec realized he had forgotten to thank the other boy! Goddamnit!

“No problem,” Magnus shrugged. He picked up a piece of pineapple from his lunch tray and kept it in front of Alec.

“For the ants,” he smiled and walked back to his friends.

Before Alec could even react to what had transpired, Jace slapped him on the arm hard and yelled “DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?”

Alec just shook his head tiredly - because what in god’s name was that indeed!

After cleaning up the mess on the table, Alec left the cafeteria feeling completely humiliated. Even though Jace was kind enough to pretend that the incident never happened, Alec didn’t think that he could ever forget it. All he could do was hope that he would by some miracle never had to have a conversation with Magnus Bane ever again.

But it seemed like the universe had other plans since as he was sitting in detention and working on his college essay, Mr. Herondale looked over Alec’s shoulder and gave an amused smile.

“Mr. Bane. What have you been up to now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> Funfact:Very little of Emily Brontë’s original written materials survive, but those that do indicate that she wasn’t very good at spelling.


	2. Chemistry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Clary and Jace sitting on a tree. K-I-S-S-I-”
> 
> “Magnus, stop it!” Clary pinched him. “I don’t like him. He is not my type.”
> 
> Magnus scoffed at that. “What? Devastatingly handsome is not your type?”
> 
> “Maybe you should date him then,” Clary suggested, but without any malice.
> 
> “No, thank you. Too blonde and too straight for my taste,” Magnus shuddered. “Besides, I don’t want to compete with you. I know how you get.”
> 
> Favorite books, Blue eyes, Secret plans and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> As usual, the chapters will have a pattern. I be like that, okay? For this fic, chapters are titled after subjects in high school.
> 
> Happy reading, bubbles!

For the ants?

For the ants???

Magnus wanted to throw himself into the nearby garbage bin. He didn’t know what had possessed him to leave a slice of pineapple on the other boy’s table.

Do ants even eat pineapple? Good lord!

On top of all of this, he had called the other boy 'Alexander'. Magnus hadn’t meant to – it had just…slipped out. Everyone called the blue-eyed boy 'Alec'. But Magnus didn’t want to be just everyone.

There was something intimate about calling him differently than everyone else – something personal and something more.

Also, Magnus liked the name _Alexander_. It reminded him of Alexander Grothendieck, who was one of the founders of modern algebraic geometry and a personal hero.

Well, it didn’t matter what he liked to call Alec since the other boy would probably not want to speak to him again anyway. It was a known fact that Alec Lightwood, unlike both his siblings, liked to keep to himself.

He wasn’t famous like Jace or stylish like Isabelle. Something told Magnus that Alec could easily be either of those things if he wanted to. But he preferred to stay away from the spotlight. Unlike most people, including Magnus himself, the other boy actually enjoyed the lack of attention. 

As an only child, Magnus envied the close bond of the trio – but he was also glad that Alec was loved unconditionally by his siblings.

Magnus had never met three people so different yet so close.

It was this obvious contrast that had caught his attention the very first time he had met Alec.

That and those eyes.

Those gorgeous blue eyes that reminded Magnus of cobalt oxide when it sintered with alumina at 1200°C.

Ever since he was a kid who ran around Uncle Henry’s lab wearing oversized goggles and playing with beakers, Magnus loved categorizing people into the periodic people. It made people less complicated to understand.

Everyone had their place in the periodic table.

Magnus of course was number 12 – Magnesium.

He was named after the element by his mother – who was without doubt a gigantic nerd. Even though he was taller than 6 feet right now, Magnus had been a small child growing up. When he used to be self-conscious about his height and weight, his mother had reminded him that Magnesium despite being the lightest structural metal, burned so brightly than the other elements.

“A Magnesium fire is extremely difficult to put out as it can burn even in nitrogen, carbon dioxide and water. So, remember Magnus – it doesn’t matter how tall or big you are. When you shine, you shine brighter than anyone else and no can stop you.”

Magnus missed having his mom around.

His dad didn’t really understand chemistry or calculus. He did try but he was one of those people who never understood or loved math the way Magnus and his mother did. He often wondered how his parents had fallen in love considering that his father was not at all interested in her one and only passion.

“Love works in mysterious ways, Magnus,” his father had told him once and Magnus had rolled his eyes in response.

Even though it sounded rather unrealistic – because what do you talk about if you don’t have common interests? – Magnus started to wish that his father was right.

Because if he knew one thing about Alec Lightwood – it was the fact that the other boy loved to read more than anything else.

And Magnus…Well, Magnus had never really finished a novel. Not even one. Hell, he didn’t even read newspapers.

In terms of reading, the best he could do were the Buzzfeed gossip articles – even that he would skim through instead of actually reading them.

So, he hoped to god that this mysterious way would work out for him too because he really needed it.

Of course he could just forget about this problem of common interests and ask Alec out but he couldn't for three important reasons.

  1. He wasn’t really sure if Alec was interested in guys at all. Alec never really looked at anyone or anything - other than his books of course.
  2. He had no idea whether Alec liked or even found him remotely attractive.
  3. They never got to meet. Ever.



They did not have a single class together due to their contrasting interests. They didn’t even do any sports or extracurricular together! So, how was he supposed to go flirt or even talk to the other boy when they barely ran into each other?

Unlike Magnus who often hung out in the chemistry lab or the auditorium or the grounds or the cafeteria, Alec mostly restricted himself to the library – behind classics section.

Not that Magnus was stalking him or anything.

So, unless Magnus was okay with cornering Alec in the bathroom and asking him out, it was never going to happen – and Magnus was not _that_ desperate.

Well, not yet anyway.

But today, thanks to Isabelle, he managed to sneak in an opportunity to talk to Alec.

He was good friends with Isabelle, even though she was a junior. It’s not every day that you come across someone who can compete with Magnus Bane’s fashion sense.

“Magnus, you don’t have to trouble yourself. I’ll just text, Jace,” Isabelle had said, setting up her things on the table while Magnus packed up his.

“Darling, please. It’s my pleasure. I am headed to the cafeteria anyway. It’s no trouble at all,” Magnus had all but begged.

The Lightwood girl had given him an odd look – which had only made her eyebrows look somehow even more amazing.

Isabelle Lightwood - number 15.

She walked everywhere in her leather jackets like she owned the place - and a bright spotlight always followed her without fail. She reminded him of phosphorous when it turned bright red as a result of being exposed to heat or sunlight. He had seen Isabelle when she was exposed to heat – especially in defense of her brothers or anyone else really. It was a vision to behold.

After convincing her to let him pass the message to her brothers, Magnus had happily walked – or skipped. It doesn’t matter – over to the cafeteria and then had humiliated himself with the pineapple incident. He was supposed to ask for Alec’s number or…well, anything!

But he couldn’t because he had forgotten about the other one.

Jace Lightwood – number 79.

He didn’t know much about Jace – at least not from the boy himself. They were not friends, but they were not enemies either. But he only had to take one look at the other boy to know that everything about him was gold, gold and gold. He was valuable, coveted and shined without effort. Magnus knew enough about the boy’s past to know that he, like the metal itself, was highly malleable. He had gone through fire and had come out only more perfect than ever. It was no wonder that people didn’t notice Alec next to Jace.

Well, people other than him of course.

“Yikes, that’s not a happy face,” Clary observed as he walked over to her after the incident with Alec. “You look like Raphael.”

“Slander!” Magnus gasped and the girl dissolved into a giggle.

Catarina was absent as she was volunteering with the animal rights club. Maybe he should ask her how he could become a part of this project for the ants.

Raphael avoided the cafeteria like the plague and had lunch quietly in a classroom - or somewhere. No one really knew. Simon on the other hand was at the admin office again – opening a dispute with poor Madam Dorothea about his class schedule.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” Magnus told her as he sat down. “I was talking to the Lightwoods.”

“Which one are the Lightwoods?” Clary inquired, even though she obviously knew who they were.

One did not go to Idris High without knowing about the Lightwoods. But Magnus pointed at them subtly anyway. “That’s Jace and Alec. Their sister Isabelle is at the lab.”

There was a moment of silence which was broken by Clary when she asked, “Jace is the one with the amber eyes, right?”

Magnus looked up from his tray to see that Clary was looking over his shoulder – at the Lightwood table. He glanced back to notice that she was indeed looking at Jace. His face broke into a grin and hers turned a deep shade of red.

“Don’t give me that look,” Clary warned him.

“I am not doing anything,” Magnus feigned innocence for two seconds before breaking into a grin again.

“Magnus!”

“Clary and Jace sitting on a tree. K-I-S-S-I-”

“Magnus, stop it!” Clary pinched him. “I don’t like him. He is not my type.”

Magnus scoffed at that. “What? Devastatingly handsome is not your type?”

“Maybe you should date him then,” Clary suggested, but without any malice.

“No, thank you. Too blonde and too straight for my taste,” Magnus shuddered. “Besides, I don’t want to compete with you. I know how you get.”

“I don't like him,” Clary repeated with an unusual assurance in her voice. “And I don't think he is interested in me either.”

Magnus looked at the Lightwood table again. Jace was staring at their table and quickly glanced away. Alec was cleaning the food on the table. Did the ants finish eating already?

“I won’t be so sure about that, biscuit,” Magnus informed her. “Maybe you should go over and talk to him.”

Clary considered that for a minute and shook her head. "I am pretty sure he wouldn't be interested in a girl like me."

Well, that was a ridiculous statement if Magnus had ever heard one.

Clary Fairchild – number 06.

Similar to Carbon, Clary had the innate gift of being able to bond with just about anyone. The fact that she was the stepdaughter of the school principal had nothing to do with the fact that Clary was liked and well-received by literally everyone. It was impossible not to like her kindred spirit and kind heart. The bonds she formed were extremely strong and lasted indefinitely – leading to amazing friendships that most people only dreamed of.

“Where is Simon by the way?” Magnus inquired as he picked up his tray. “Shouldn’t he be back by now?”

“He should,” Clary suddenly looked worried. “I am going to go check on him. See you later?”

Magnus winked at her and decided to go look for Catarina too. He was supposed to meet up with Catarina after lunch and she was nowhere to be seen.

He looked at the Lightwood table one last time. Jace was gone and Alec was sitting there alone – his nose buried in a book as usual.

Magnus wondered whether Alec would ever love him as much as he loved his books. It seemed highly unlikely.

He picked up his books from his locker and walked to his calculus class. The hallway was buzzing with people – running to their classes or just running for no goddamn reason.

High school was weird.

Mr. Fell looked up from the table when he walked into calculus. It was his favorite class and he was Magnus’ favorite teacher – not that he would ever admit that to the older man.

Magnus, just like his mom, loved math. He never understood how someone could not love math. In his opinion, people who hated math were just bad at it. He had never really liked the other subjects – with their long essays and boring assignments. He had always been better at analyzing numbers than words. The latter was tricky and subjective.

Numbers, on the other hand, did not lie. Numbers were easy to interpret and solve.

After discussing their homework and learning a new theory, Magnus walked out of the class and into Catarina.

“I am so sorry!” she winced. “I know I was supposed to meet you before calculus.”

“It’s okay, Cat,” he smiled at her. “I am sure you had a good reason.”

“I did,” Cat spoke in a low voice and looked around her worriedly. “I didn’t want to miss lunch but I was with Maia. She was having a tough day. I just wanted to be with her.”

Catarina Loss – number 01

Like Hydrogen, Catarina’s heart was light as a feather. Magnus had always wondered how she could love every single person or creature without a single ounce of hatred. When he was in second grade, Magnus had learned that balloons filled with hydrogen can float in the air. It was exactly how he felt when he hung out with Catarina – he felt free to float around and be himself. She had made him feel comfortable when he had difficulty adjusting to his identity.

“What happened?” Magnus asked her, immediately worried. He didn’t know Maia well, but he had always thought that she was kind of cool.

As they walked towards their next class, Catarina explained what had transpired last week with Sebastian. Apparently that pompous asshole had stolen Maia’ assignment for their International Relations class because he wanted a better grade.

“He had said that ‘people like her’ don’t deserve to be first in class,” Catarina explained, shaking her head in dismay.

Magnus knew Sebastian was a narcissistic asshole. But he hadn’t known that the other boy was a racist bigot too.

“Ugh,” Magnus groaned in frustration. “I want to punch him in the face.”

“Why do boys always have to resort to violence to prove a point?” Catarina asked no one in particular. “Anyway, don’t worry about it. The Lightwood boy apparently told him off.”

“I am glad Jace did not take the side of his teammate. That would have be-”

“Not him,” Catarina corrected. “The other one.”

“Alec???” Magnus quizzed in a tone that made Catarina stop walking and give him a puzzled look.

“Do you know him well?”

“No. It’s just that…Well, he didn’t seem to be the violent type.”

“There was no violence. According to Raphael, he had called Sebastian a swine or a thief or both.”

Magnus laughed out loud at that and Catarina stopped again.

“What? It’s funny!”

“Well, it wasn’t funny when Sebastian got pissed off and ruined Alec’s English assignment.”

“He did what?” Magnus fumed. “What is wrong with him? Did anyone report this?”

Catarina, having reached her classroom, leaned against the wall and shrugged. “They did. But both Alec and Sebastian got detention.”

“That’s not fair!” Magnus protested. “Alec stands up to this bully and he gets punished too?”

“You know the rules, Magnus!” Catarina reminded him. “Idris has zero tolerance for any type of violence.”

Magnus rolled his eyes in response. “I can’t believe that Alec has to spend detention with Sebastian. Is he even safe with that douchebag?”

His friend gave him an odd look. “Yes, he is. Apparently Sebastian has mandatory football practice. So, Alec is doing detention alone. So, I am sure he will be alright.”

“Ugh, this piece of shit does something like and he gets away with football pr-”

Hold on a minute. What did she just say?

“Cat, did you just say Alec is alone? At detention?”

“Well, not alone. Mr. Herondale will be th-”

“Gotta go,” Magnus ran off towards the locker room before she could hit him with her moral compass.

Even though he had not been down to the locker rooms much, finding the other boy’s locker was not that difficult. He found what he was looking for and started on his mission.

“What the hell are you doing, Bane?” a voice said menacingly from behind him.

Magnus turned around to see the other boy standing in front of him, looking thoroughly pissed.

Good.

“Is that my jersey?” the other boy growled, prying it away from Magnus’ hands. “What the fuck have you done to it?”

Magnus had used a marker pen and had edited the name on the back of the jersey from 'Morgenstern' to 'Moronstern'. Asshole had it coming - Catarina doesn't have to know.

Sebastian Morgenstern – number 94

Plutonium was one of the most dangerous elements in the periodic table. Even though the silvery gray appearance of the metal can be deceivingly beautiful, it was powerful and dangerous enough to be used in nuclear weapons. Sebastian, who was without doubt, one of the handsomest boys at Idris, was dangerous than most. He had the teachers wrapped around his pinky and the parents association adored him because well…his parents were the richest in town. This meant that Sebastian did as he pleased and most of these things were not very pleasant for other people.

“Oh, no,” Magnus deadpanned. “You caught me.”

“Follow me right now, Bane!” the boy ordered, his eyes filled with fury. “You are so getting detention for this.”

“Boy, I sure hope so,” Magnus said under his breath as he followed Sebastian to Principal Garroway’s office.

Magnus was used to being in detention. They never really did anything there. Mr. Herondale either let them do homework or gave them a book to read. Something told Magnus that Alec would actually enjoy being at detention.

That dork.

He was happy that he’d finally get to see Alec alone. He was happy he was going to get detention.

God, he was such a goner for Alec Lightwood.

But unfortunately, not everyone was happy about his little plan.

“I am so disappointed, Magnus,” principal Garroway told him after Sebastian had complained for a good ten minutes about his ruined jersey. "I know what Sebastian did was wrong, but you cannot correct one mistake with another.”

Magnus hated disappointing Luke. He was a good man and a great teacher. “I am sorry, Luke,” Magnus apologized. He was not sorry about ruining Sebastian’s jersey, but he was truly sorry about disappointing Luke. “It won’t happen again.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Luke nodded. “But for now, you must understand that there are consequences for your actions. You will get de-”

“Detention. Yes. Right. How awful. I did not see this coming!”

“Why do I feel like you are going exactly where you want to be?” Luke asked worriedly.

“I am just happy to spend some quality time with Mr. Herondale,” Magnus replied cheekily and ran off to his next class.

He was about to walk into chemistry when a familiar voice said, "Hey, you are friends with Madame Dorothea, right? Do you know how I can convince her to let me do two subjects instead of one?"

Simon Lewis - number 13.

Even though aluminum was light, it was one of the strongest metals in the periodic table. Simon, who always seemed fragile on the outside, was one of the strongest people he had met. The metal was also incredibly resilient - just like Simon who never disheartened despite constantly getting picked on by the older kids. 

"I'll tell you about Madame Dorothea if you tell me something about Mr. Herondale," Magnus winked at the other boy. 

"Like what?" Simon looked puzzled by the sudden request. 

"Like something that would get him out of his classroom for a few minutes."

"Oh, um," Simon blushed for some reason. "I heard...I heard he has...he has a thing for Ms. Gray."

Whoa - that actually made so much sense! Unlike most teachers, Mr. Herondale liked hanging out in the library instead of the staff room.

Ms. Gray and Mr. Herondale actually looked rather cute together - and boy did they both love to read. Ugh, why can't Magnus just be interested in reading like the rest of them? It would have made things so much easier with Alec. 

"Thanks, Simon!" Magnus slapped him on the shoulder. "Madam Dorothea likes cucumber sandwiches."

He quickly ran towards the library to set his plan in motion. His eyes scanned the space - which was mostly empty - because let's be honest. It was a library. He found who he was looking for and walked briskly towards him. 

"Psst," Magnus called the other boy as quietly as possible. "I need a favor."

"No."

"Oh, come on!"

"No!"

"Pleeeaaaase?"

"I stay in the library to get away from you fools. Stop ruining it for me!"

Raphael Santiago - number 11.

The boy was sodium for one reason. He was forever salty.

But Magnus loved him anyway.

"Listen, I need you to mess up some of the books in the sections. Get some books from the econ section and put it under biology. Just change up the order or something. Make a mess."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you love me?"

"Try again."

"Because I know you suck at calculus and I will personally tutor you?"

"If you are trying to bribe me with alone time with you," Raphael rolled his eyes. "Then you obviously don't understand the basics of bribery."

"Rude," Magnus replied, sounding hurt. "Okay, fine. I'll put in a word with Mr. Fell to tutor you. You know he likes me."

Raphael considered his offer a minute and nodded. "Ugh, okay. Just don't ever come back here. This is a sacred space."

"I love you."

"Fuck off!"

He ran back to class just in time. By the time last period was over, Magnus was shaking with excitement. Even Catarina noticed and sent him an odd look. Before she could quiz him and figure things out, Magnus picked up his books and ran towards Mr. Herondale's class, but not before spotting Ms. Gray.

"Oh, hello, Ms. Gray!" Magnus greeted her with a dashing smile. "I was looking for you."

"Me?" she asked, obviously puzzled. 

"Yes. I was in the library and-"

"You?"

"Yes, me," Magnus replied, trying not to sound offended. "Some of the books were messed up. Most of them were in the wrong sections. I just thought you should know."

Ms. Gray let out a frustrated groan. "These little sh- How hard is it to put a book back in the right shelf? I swear, these kids don't have any respect for books these days. Keeping books on the floor and dog-earing the pages!"

Magnus, who always dog-eared his pages and kept most of his books scattered on the floor, tried not to look guilty. "I am so sorry, ma'am. I'll make sure to send someone to help you reorganize the shelves."

"Thank you, Magnus," she gave him a quick smile and walked toward the library angrily. 

Yikes! Alec better be there after all of this or else...

And of course, when he walked into Mr. Herondale's classroom, Alec was already there – reading.

“Alright, Magnus. Act cool. You’ve got this. Just ask him out.”

He internalized his own words, took a deep breath and walked into the classroom as confidently as possible.

An amused smile appeared on Mr. Herondale’s face upon Magnus’ entrance. “Mr. Bane. What have you been up to now?”

The other boy looked back and his eyes widened a little bit.

Was that good sign? That was good sign, right? He was going to take it as a good sign.

“Oh, nothing,” Magnus shrugged casually and sat down opposite Alec.

“Well, the more the merrier,” Mr. Herondale smiled at him. “Are you going to be doing homework or would you like a book to read.”

He did not want to read a book in front of Alec Lightwood. It would be like trying to audition in front of Meryl Streep. He did not want to make a fool of himself.

“I have some calculus homework to do. So, I am going to do that,” Magnus informed and took out his books.

Mr. Herondale nodded and got back to reading a book of his own. As did Alec.

That’s it? They are just going to get back to reading? What was so important between those pages that they had to get back to it immediately? What was so captivating that their eyes were so focused on the words printed on them? He realized that courting Alec Lightwood was not going to be easy at all. 

“Mr. Herondale, do you think I could leave a little early?”

“Magnus, you know the rules. You must stay for the whole pe-”

“I do, sir. It’s just that…”

“Well, what is it?”

Magnus bit his lip and looked up at the teacher innocently. “Well, I promised Ms. Gray that I would help her out in the library to reorganize some of the shelves. Now she is going to be doing it all on her own.”

Mr. Herondale’s eyes widened a little bit and he got up from his seat.

Gotcha!

“Ms. Gray?” he asked, his voice softening at the name. “Well, I suppose it is not very gentlemanly to let her to carry all those books on her own.”

“I agree, sir,” Magnus grinned. “So, should I go over and help her?”

“Sit down, Magnus,” Mr. Herondale ordered immediately. “You must finish your detention. You know the rules. I’ll go over to the library and see how I can be of assistance to Tes-Ms. Gray.”

This man was head over heels in love. Magnus could relate to that content.

“Alec, will you be alright here with Magnus?”

The other boy glanced at him and gave a small nod.

“Alright. I’ll see you boys tomorrow!” Mr. Herondale said and literally ran out of the door.

Okay. It’s time. Just start a casual conversation. Keep it cool. Keep it simple.

“What are you reading?” Magnus asked, trying to keep his voice normal.

Alec lifted his book and showed him the cover of ‘Wuthering Heights’ and went back to reading.

“What is it about?” Magus asked again, because you need two people to have a conversation goddamnit!

“It’s a love story,” Alec answered, his eyes looking down at the book and clearly avoiding Magnus.

“Do you believe in love, Alexander?”

Jesus fucking Christ!

So much for keeping it casual and cool.

The other boy looked up suddenly and gave a panicked look.

“I-Uh…I am not…I think-”

“I just meant, uh, do you read a lot of love stories?” Magnus corrected his question quickly.

“Um, I suppose so,” he shrugged.

“Why?” Magnus asked.

“Why not?” Alec immediately countered. A blush crept up on the other boy’s face and he looked away. “I mean…Who doesn’t like a good love story?”

“Which one is your favorite?” Magnus inquired, wanting to keep the conversation flowing but also genuinely curious.

Mr. Herondale had once told him – during detention of course – that we can learn a lot about a person through their favorite book.

Magnus’ favorite book was…well, he didn’t have one.

Not unless you can count ‘ _De Arte Combinatoria_ ’ – which was first doctoral dissertation of Gottfried Leibniz, who Magnus happened to idolize and worship.

Alec pointed at Wuthering Heights again.

“Can I see?” Magnus held out his hand, more curious than ever.

The other boy hesitated for a minute before handing over Magnus the book, slowly and carefully – as if it was a newborn baby.

Magnus took the book and his fingers immediately flipped through to the last page.

_"I lingered round them, under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath, and hare-bells; listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass; and wondered how anyone could ever imagine unquiet slumbers, for the sleepers in that quiet earth."_

"Oh my god," Alec gasped, as if Magnus had committed an atrocious crime. "Why did you read the last page?"

“I just like the endings,” Magnus shrugged.

It was kind of his thing. When he used to hang out with his father in the library – because both his parents were academics – he would just open random books and read the last lines. He didn’t care what the book was about or what happened to the characters – he was just interested in what happened in the end.

Did they die? Did they get together? Did they defeat evil? Did they find the treasure?

“You should never skip to the ending,” Alec said worriedly. “It'll ruin the entire book.”

“But isn’t that why people read books? So that we can learn what happens in the end?”

“It’s not about what happens in the end, Magnus. It’s about how you get there.”

Magnus almost stopped breathing at the words. While it was a profound thing to say, it was also the first time Alec had called him by his name. 

He had always known that he had a unique name – thanks to his mother.

He liked his name. But he had never quite liked it this much – not until he had heard it from Alec’s lips.

“People don’t read books for the ending,” Alec commented quietly after a minute. “They read it for the journey.”

“Then what happens in this one?” he pointed at the book in his hands. “What’s the journey here?”

“I guess you’ll have to read it to find out,” Alec replied.

Was Magnus dreaming or was Alec Lightwood being cheeky with him?

“I don’t really like reading,” Magnus replied and immediately regretted the words.

A look of disbelief and disappointment covered the other boy’s face.

Ahhhhhhh shit. Damage control. Damage control.

Leibniz, help a bro out please!

“I just meant that…Uh, I don’t…have the time to, um, read,” Magnus mumbled.

The empty classroom was uncomfortably quiet for a minute and Magnus worried that Alec would never speak to him again.

After all, he had said that he didn't like read. For someone like Alec, someone who worshipped books, this must have been hard to hear. It would have been like....It would have been like someone telling Magnus that they don't like math.

“It’s okay if you don’t like to read,” Alec pointed out after a while. “I don’t really like math either.”

Oh for fuck's sake!!!! Out of all the things to say!

Leibniz, please give this beautiful mortal for he knows not what he says.

“Most people who don’t like math are just bad at it.”

“Just because I don't like something, it doesn’t mean I am bad at it.”

Magnus gave the other boy a look.

“Alright, fine,” Alec shrugged. “I am bad at it. But my point still stands. Also, math is stupid.”

Oh, Leibniz! What are we going to do with him?

“It’s just…There is just one answer? It doesn’t make sense,” Alec was mostly talking to himself now. “In literature, you can always argue your point. You can explain yourself. Some people might see the moors in Wuthering Heights as a symbolism for danger while others might see it as a symbol for freedom.”

Magnus had no idea what the other boy was rambling on about but he liked it.

“I am sorry,” Alec apologized when realized he had been talking on his own. “I am sure you didn’t come to detention to listen to me ramble about moors.”

No, I came to detention so I can ask you out, you adorable idiot!

“I like listening to you ramble about moors,” Magnus replied, his voice honest and his lips smiling.

As far as his pickup lines went, this one was probably the cheesiest. But he couldn’t help it. He actually would listen to Alec ramble about moors all day even though he had no fucking clue what moors are supposed to be.

“My point is,” Alec said, taking the book back from Magnus – his hands still careful. “In math, moors are just moors.”

He understood what the other boy meant. Math was simple and straightforward. In math, there was just one correct answer and you had to get it right. It was one of the reasons why Magnus liked the subject. There was no deception or manipulation.

“What’s wrong with moors being just moors?” Magnus asked, propping his chin on his hand.

“Well, because things aren’t always what they seem to be.”

He was right. Things are not always transparent – especially in high school.

When he started high school, he remembered his father telling him that it was the place to be himself. He was told that he could be whatever he wanted to be.

Magnus couldn’t understand why adults fed them such horseshit when they knew it to be untrue.

Anybody who has been through high school knew that it is not the place to be yourself. If anything, you get through high school by pretending to be someone you are not. Even Magnus, someone who tried to be authentic as possible, had to fake it sometimes because that was what was expected of him.

He was Magnus Bane, the popular kid™.

The popular kid cannot be seen having a bad day or getting poor grades or wearing unfashionable clothes or losing the main role in the winter musical to someone else.

Everyone in high school had a stereotype to fulfill. No one did anything because it was what they wanted to do. Everyone did things because it was what they were expected to do.

Everyone except the boy in front of him.

Alec lightwood – number 47.

Silver was the best reflector of visible light. Its high reflectivity meant that it was used in making mirrors. Alec, like silver, reflected brightly. He did not hide like the others – he was transparent and honest. And like silver, Alec Lightwood was extremely rare and precious.

In that moment, Magnus realized that Alec and him - they had nothing in common. They were like Helium and Argon - two noble gases that would never react to each other. H realized that maybe this whole detention ambush had been a bad idea. 

"You know," Alec spoke up, his voice soft. "Mr. Herondale once told me that reading romance novels can turn you into a romantic. I am not sure if that's true."

"You don't think you are a romantic?" Magnus asked, not believing it to be true.

Something told him that Alec Lightwood was romantic as hell - the kind of guy who did romantic things that made you go all pink and others all green. 

"I don't think so," Alec replied, his tone a little sad.

"Why not?"

"I...Uh, I haven-It's just that...," Alec stammered. "Jace is the romantic one in the family. Not me."

Jace! He had forgotten about Jace! Thank god for Jace. Long live Jace, 

“I have a proposition for you,” Magnus announced suddenly, having made up his mind.

Alec looked up then, his blue eyes confused.

“It’s about Clary,” Magnus said carefully.

“The new girl?”

“She has been here for months now, Alexander.”

“Right. What about her? And why does this concern me?”

“Well, it has also something to do with your…brother.”

“Jace?” Alec was paying full attention now. “What did he do?”

Alec obviously cared about his brother - as much Magnus cared for Clary. 

“It’s more about what he could do,” Magnus explained. “I am trying to get them together.”

"Oh," Alec said. "You know that he is interested in her."

"I am not blind, Alexander," Magnus rolled his eyes. "I can spot someone with heart eyes from a mile away."

Alec mumbled something under his breath before saying "But why would w-"

“They obviously like each other but are too dumb to do anything about it. This is why we must intervene. But I need your help. I need someone from Jace’s side.”

“Why didn’t you ask Izzy?”

Ah shit! Damn it, this boy keeps asking hard questions!

“I love your sister, but she can be a little…impatient. She’ll probably bang their heads together and force them to go out.”

Alec chuckled at that and Magnus mentally patted himself on the shoulder. “You are probably right.”

“So…are you in?”

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

“Why should I say yes?” Alec asked, as if he could hear Magnus’ thoughts.

“Because like you said earlier, everyone likes a good love story,” Magnus quoted the other boy.

The other boy still looked doubtful, his fingers gently caressing the cover of his copy of Wuthering Heights. 

"Alexander," he called out softly and a pair of gorgeous blue eyes looked up at him. 

“You and I, we are destined to make the greatest love story in the world.”

He saw Alec gulp. "You mean Clary and Jace?"

"Yeah, duh," Magnus replied eloquently. 

Alec’s lips parted slightly as if he was going to say something. He closed his mouth and let Magnus suffer for a good long minute before opening it again.

“So, you want me to go behind my brother’s back and help you set him up with this random girl?”

“Uh…yes?”

“That sounds completely insane and ill-advised.”

Magnus should have known that this would have been Alec’s response. He didn’t know what he had expected by asking Alec Lightwood – during his first ever detention for god’s sake – to sneak around and play cupid to his own brother. Obviously, the other boy was going to refu-

“I am in,” Alec announced and Magnus had to use every ounce of self-control not to do a cartwheel in Mr. Herondale’s classroom.

Who cared if Magnus didn’t know about moors or Alec didn’t like math? Love works in mysterious ways and Magnus decided to take a leap of faith and believe in that nonsensical statement.

“I am so glad you joined Operation Clace,” Magnus grinned at the other boy.

“Yeah, we are going to have to discuss the name,” Alec commented, collecting his books.

They exchanged numbers to discuss their mission for tomorrow and Magnus couldn’t stop himself from adding a little blue heart emoji after typing Alexander’s name into his phone.

“Are you ready to make some love, Alexander?” Magnus asked, as they stepped out of the classroom together.

“Please don’t ever say that again,” Alec pleaded as he walked away, but not before Magnus noticed a giant grin on the other boy’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> Fun fact: Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz was a German mathematician and philosopher who developed the study of calculus. His work was also imperative to the creation of the modern calculator. (Thanks so much, Mr. Leibniz!!!)
> 
> P.S - I realized that the symbol for Alec's element (Silver) is Ag in the periodic table - which also happens to be his first two initials. Coincidence? I think not, y'all!!! See you next weekend!


	3. Botany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you ready for Operation Clace?” Magnus grinned at him as they stopped at a red light.
> 
> “Do we really have to call it that?”
> 
> “Well, we must call it something, Alexander,” Magnus waved his hands around. “If you don’t like Clace, maybe we could call it Jalary or Lightchild or Fairwood.”
> 
> “Clace it is,” Alec conceded because there was no way in hell he was saying the other three names out loud.
> 
> Girls' bathrooms, Plant bois, Distressed damsels and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading :)

“Why are you up so early?”

Alec turned away from the window so fast that it almost gave him whiplash. His mother was standing near the sofa in her nightgown. He had hoped that he could leave before she woke up and quizzed him, but Magnus was running late.

Last night Magnus had texted him saying that he wo-

Hold on…

MAGNUS BANE TEXTED HIM LAST NIGHT HOLY SHIT!

He couldn’t believe that he had the other boy’s number – let alone exchange late night texts. Of course they were just talking about their plan for the next day but whatever. This was progress from falling asleep thinking about Magnus.

Alright, back to the present.

Last night Magnus had texted him – AHHHHHH – saying that they should meet up earlier before school to go over the plan. It wasn’t like Alec had anything to do so he had agreed.

And since there were no buses at that time in the morning, Magnus had offered to pick Alec up.

MAGNUS BANE WAS PICKING HIM UP IN HIS CAR! SOMEBODY HELP!!

“Sweety?” his mother’s voiced brought him out of his internal freak out.

“Yes, mom?”

“I asked why you are up so early,” his mother moved closer to him and pushed the hair out of his face – as usual. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” Alec replied automatically. He hated how the answer slipped out of his lips without any effort. “I just have a meeting with the Animal Rights Club.”

His mother’s eyebrow shot up in surprise. “Animal Rights Club?”

“What? I like animals!” Alec replied defensively.

“Of course. I am just surprised that you finally joined a club – with other people,” his mother explained – a bit awkwardly.

“I like people!”

“I meant real people, not fictional ones.”

It’s hard to be offended by something you 100% agree with.

In the Lightwood household, Alec was definitely not the social butterfly. He did not have suitors leaving gifts on the doorstep like Isabelle or get flooded with invitations for parties like Jace.

Just to be clear, Alec was not sad about his predicament at all. Alec was more than happy stay at home with his fictional characters.

He loved his family and he did love his friends – all two of them – but fictional characters provided him a sort of comfort that no one in real life ever could.

“I am just stepping out of my comfort zone," Alec explained and then quickly added, "It would be good for my college applications."

“Oh,” his mother said, immediately distracted at the mention of college applications. “Well, then. Do you need me to drive you to school?”

“Maia is picking me up in a bit,” Alec shared immediately.

He didn’t know why he had lied about Magnus. It wasn’t like his mother was going to suspect anything just because a boy was picking him up. But he didn’t want to risk it.

It was one of the things he hated the most about being in the closet.

Every single time he did something – his first thought would automatically be “is she going to find out?”

From the clothes he wore to the movies he watched, he would be careful not to leave any clues. He did not want his mother to figure it out before he found the courage to tell her himself.

Izzy had once asked him whether he wore monochrome clothes because he was not comfortable enough to express himself. She had been worrying silently that Alec had been hiding his more flamboyant self underneath his black sweaters.

“I can buy you a pink one if you want to wear a pink one,” she had told him one night. “It doesn’t matter what other people think.”

He didn’t know how it was possible to figure out a person’s sexuality by their clothes.

Clothes don’t have gender or sexual orientation after all.

“Izzy,” he had told her softly – because he loved her so much for caring. “I don’t wear pink because it would make me look like a bubblegum – not because I am afraid.”

Some people could pull off looking like a bubblegum – Alec definitely could not.

“Maia, huh?” his mother grinned and walked back to the kitchen. 

And this was exactly why he had been reluctant to bring up Magnus.

Parents of high schoolers were one of two kinds. One group prevented their children from dating or having sex – and scared them with terrifying stories of STDs and teen pregnancies.

The other group was way too involved in their children’s dating lives – and made powerpoint presentations on how to have safe sex and stocked up their cabinet with condoms. 

In moments like this one, Alec hoped why his mother couldn’t have belonged to the first group.

“She is just a friend, mom” Alec groaned and rolled his eyes.

He quickly picked up his backpack and his copy of The Great Gatsby. He decided to walk to the top of the lane anyway instead of standing here and answering questions.

“Why are you up early?” a sleepy voice inquired from behind them.

Jace was standing at the bottom of the staircase in his blue superman pajamas, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

“Why are _you_ awake?” Alec asked worriedly. “Are you not going to school today? You have to go to school today! It is very important that you go to school today, Jace.”

“Holy shit, calm down!” Jace groaned. “What are you the Attendance Police?”

“Jace, honey,” his mother said from the kitchen. “Language.”

If Jace doesn’t go to school today then Operation Clace, they really needed to find another name, was not going to happen – which meant that he wouldn’t get to spend time with Magnus.

“I am just…concerned,” Alec replied – feeling slightly guilty about all the lying.

“I am going to school,” Jace assured to his relief. “I woke up because Fuschia likes sunlight.”

With that, he headed out the front door.

What the hell??? You can't just say cryptic shit and disappear like that!

“Who is Fuschia?” Alec asked his mother - utterly confused.

If Jace was dating some girl called Fuschia in the middle of all of this, then there was no point in Operation Clace.

“It’s a plant, sweety,” his mother laughed. “He has been waking up early this whole week hoping to watch the flowers bloom.”

Alec peered through the window again and found his brother in front of a plant with tiny purple flowers.

Jace liked to pretend that he didn’t care about other people. Alec had come to learn that this was more of a defense mechanism than a toxic trait. His brother had been horribly treated in his earlier foster homes and had been taught that love can be destructive.

He had been worried that Jace had lost the ability to love anything until one day, when they were both 10, Alec found Jace watching a documentary on extinct flora. It was odd to see a 10 year old child so enamored about a documentary on plants.

But that was Jace.

So, Alec had forced his mother to plant some flowers in the garden. Ever since, it had turned into Jace’s safe haven. He watered them and took care of them all by himself. Over the years, he had started planting more and had created the most beautiful garden in the whole street.

It was then that Alec had realized Jace was going to be okay. If Jace could love an orchid plant that much, he was more than capable of learning to love other people.

Jace, even though he may not act like it, loved with his whole heart. Alec was one of the lucky ones who had experienced this firsthand.

This suddenly made him question the mission. Who was this girl? Did she really love Jace? Did she care for him? Is she good enough for him?

He wanted to spend time with Magnus – even if it was for a ridiculous reason. He wanted to be beside Magnus so badly. But he wasn’t going to mess around with Jace’s life just so he gets to be with Magnus. What if Clary was one of those girls who would end up breaking his brother’s heart?

He would rather not do this and deal with the pain of being Magnus-less than see Jace heartbroken again.

He would rather get hurt than let Jace get hurt.

“I’m heading out,” Alec informed his mother and sneaked out the front door quickly as he could. He opened his backpack and safely placed his book inside.

He had borrowed it from the library and Ms. Gray was very particular about how students treated books. He didn’t want to get on her bad side by damaging it – not that he would ever damage a book.

“Are you going early for a lesson?” Jace asked, as Alec walked past him.

“Yep,” Alec said, because the animal rights nonsense was not going to work with his brother.

“You go get that sweet extra credit, bro,” Jace winked.

He only had to wait for another five minutes near the bus stand before Magnus pulled up in a shiny red Maserati.

“Morning, Alexander!”

EMILY, HELP ME!!!

“Nice ride,” Alec commented as he got into the car.

HE WAS IN A CAR WITH MAGNUS BANE! SOMEBODY CALL 911!

Magnus smiled at him and Alec briefly considered what would happen if he passed out in the car.

It was one thing to observe a painting at the museum – from distance, just like everyone else.

But what in god’s name do you do when it is mere inches away from you – LOOKING LIKE THAT???

Magnus had opted for a white t-shirt and a blue jacket with sequins on the lapels. He had completed the look with a pair of blue Nike shoes. There were even a couple of blue streaks in his dark hair.

“What’s with all the blue?” Alec asked, before he could stop himself.

“Oh,” Magnus said with a smile – as if he was pleased that Alec had noticed. How could he not when Magnus looked like an exotic peacock that had escaped from the amazon?

“Blue happens to be my favorite colour,” Magnus explained. “Also, coordinating one’s outfit is very important.”

Alec suddenly felt self-conscious about his black sweater and ratty jeans. The only thing coordinated about his outfit was the fact that they all had holes in them. Unlike Izzy, who was miraculous never seen wearing the same clothes twice and Jace, who had a time table so that his clothes won’t clash, Alec could not be bothered about what he wore to school or anywhere else.

He didn’t mind if people judged him by his clothes. He didn’t want to be friends with people like that anyway.

“Are you ready for Operation Clace?” Magnus grinned at him as they stopped at a red light.

“Do we really have to call it that?”

“Well, we must call it something, Alexander,” Magnus waved his hands around. “If you don’t like Clace, maybe we could call it Jalary or Lightchild or Fairwood.”

“Clace it is,” Alec conceded because there was no way in hell he was saying the other three names out loud.

Magnus was quietly driving again and Alec wondered if he had offended the other boy somehow. But why would Magnus talk to him anyway? It is not like they had much in common to talk about – other than this mission of course.

“Tell me about Clary,” Alec said suddenly – because the silence was getting to him.

“You don’t know Clary, do you?” Magus asked, visibly surprised.

“No,” Alec shrugged. “She is a junior – so why would I?”

“I know her,” Magnus pointed out.

“Magnus, you know everyone,” Alec replied – because the other boy did. Literally!

Magnus Bane knew every single student in Idris and they all knew him. What’s more, it wasn’t just the students. He knew every single staff member and employee in the school too. Alec wondered how many people he knew from school and immediately shut that depressing thought down.

“I do, Magnus chuckled. “Alright. Clary is…she is a good friend. She loves art. Her mother makes the best strawberry sorbet.”

“Um, that’s it?"

“What else do you want to know?” Magnus inquired. “Why do you want to know about Clary anyway?”

“Because I am trying to set her up with my brother? I need to know she won’t…she isn’t going to hurt my brother.”

Magnus turned around and look at him in the eye. His face was blank for a moment and a slow smile emerged – just for Alec.

“What?”

“I like this protective side of you, Alexander,” Magnus pointed out and Alec had to turn away to hide the blush on his face.

“You don’t have to worry about, Clary,” Magnus said after a moment. “I wouldn't have suggested this plan if I didn’t think they were incompatible.”

“Alright,” Alec said – deciding to trust the other boy. “Do you want to know about Jace?”

“I think I am good,” Magnus shrugged. He probably noticed the concern in Alec’s face as he quickly added – “I know everyone, remember?”

Alec nodded and gave the other boy a small smile. They drove in silence and somehow it was so much better than the talking. Alec had been worried about going to school with Magnus. So, he had come up with a number of topics for conversation and had even done his research.

He never thought that he would have to Google “nail polish removal tips” or “Easter eggs in the new Taylor Swift album” but love made you do ridiculous things.

But he didn’t have to bring out any of the new information he had acquired as Magnus was mostly quiet during the drive. Something told him that the other boy was doing it for Alec's benefit. The fact that Magnus understood his needs without having to be told made Alec’s heart flutter a little bit.

He was already feeling all giddy and excited - and it will only seven in the morning!!!

By the time they reached school, fifteen minutes before most students did, Alec was feeling slightly more confident and less anxious. Magnus led them both to the playground and sat down in one of the swings.

“I don’t think I have been here in years,” Alec said out loud, marveling at the space around him. It had changed so much since he was in kindergarten.

“I come here every now and then,” Magnus said – gently swinging back and forth. “Come on, have a seat.”

Alec looked around the empty playground for a moment before settling into the swing next to Magnus. They both looked ridiculous swinging back and forth with their ridiculously long legs.

“Alright, so what’s the plan for today?” Alec asked after a few minutes - once they had both settled into the comfortable silence. 

“Damsel in distress!” Magnus announced dramatically. “We are going to lock Clary in the bathroom and let Jace get her out of there.”

“And how are we going to do that?” Alec inquired, trying not to sound skeptical.

“Leave Clary to me. I will make sure that she gets to the bathroom. You just have to text Jace to come to the spot. You think you can do that?”

Alec considered the plan for a minute. “But what if someone else walks by? They might help Clary instead.”

“It’s Monday, Alexander,” Magnus pointed out. “They will all be at assembly.”

“Ah, right,” Alec nodded in understanding. “This is why you need me to text Jace.”

“Yep. Just text him to be near the girls' bathroom on the ground floor by 08.45.”

Alec nodded quietly at that. “Why are we here early then?”

“Ah, that,” Magnus clicked his tongue. “Follow me!”

They walked through the corridors together. Magnus walked like he was walking on red carpet – smooth and confident, even when the school was abandoned.

And Alec…He was trying not to trip over his own two feet. Listen, it’s not easy to walk behind Magnus Bane – especially when he was wearing skinny jeans!

There was something oddly comforting about being in school before everyone else – it was so quiet and peaceful. There was no one playing loud music or bumping into him as they ran off to some class. There was no one at all. For the first time, walking through the corridors didn’t feel like a daunting task.

“Ta-da!” Magnus said with a flourish as he pushed the door open. 

Alec’s mouth popped open and his first thought was “Oh my god, it is so much cleaner!”

“I know right?” Magnus sighed tiredly. “No wonder they spend so much time in here.”

The girls’ bathroom was practically spotless. There was no graffiti in the walls or water on the floor. The sinks were not littered with nonsense and the hand dryer actually worked. Alec who had only ever used the boys’ bathroom suddenly felt annoyed. The place smelled like strawberries for god’s sake!

“Boys are gross,” Alec said to no one in particular.

“You’re telling me,” Magnus sighed heavily and suddenly started to climb up the sink and then towards the window.

“Magnus!” Alec hissed, not wanting to be too loud. “What are you doing?”

“I am jamming the windows – just to make sure she doesn’t escape through them.”

“You think she would climb up the wall and escape through the window?” Alec asked, raising an eyebrow.

Magnus turned around and gave him an amused smile. “You really don’t know Clary, do you?”

Ale shook his head. “Is it because she is tiny?”

Magnus laughed and jumped off the window still. “Also because she is fierce. You can’t lock up Clary Fairchild – well, not for long anyway. This is why it is crucial that Jace gets here on time.”

Alec looked up the window and squinted. “How do you know how to do that?”

“A man of many skills, Alexander,” Magnus winked. “Now I know it smells like a strawberry field in here, but we need to get out befo-”

They both heard a sound from the other side of the door and Alec immediately froze. What if it was a teacher? Or another student? What if they ask what they were doing alone in the girls' room? What if they call his mother? This was going to be a disaster.

A strong hand on his forearm broke him from his panic and pushed him towards one of the bathroom stalls. Magnus closed the door behind them and signed at Alec to be quiet.

Alec heard the door open and a sharp click-clacking of heels. Someone opened a tap and started humming – badly.

“I think it’s Si Lee,” Magnus said softly.

Alec didn’t want to know how Magnus could recognize someone just by their humming. He was a man of many skills after all. Alec silently prayed that the girl wouldn’t discover them as she was the gossip machine of the school. If she caught them together, they might as well take a selfie and put it on Instagram.

“Christ, she can’t hold a tune,” Magnus scoffed.

“Shhhh!!!”

“It’s not that hard to sing Bad Guy. Thank god Billie E-”

Alec put a hand over the other boy’s mouth, urging him to the quiet.

It was then reality hit him.

HE WAS TRAPPED INSIDE A BATHROOM STALL WITH MAGNUS BANE!! WHAT THE HELL EMILY!?!

The whole thing was quite funny because he had always imagined what Magnus’ lips would feel like and now he now – they were soft and slightly wet from the lip gloss. But never did he ever imagine that he would get to learn this information while they trapped in a bathroom stall together – and in the girls’ one for god’s sake!

They heard the hand dryer and after a while the sound of the door closing. Alec took his hand away from the other boy’s mouth. Magnus, without any prompt, immediately started to hum the tune of Bad Guy – as if he had been itching to do it for the last five minutes.

Despite the ridiculous position, Alec couldn’t be surprised at the other boy’s voice. There were no words, but Magnus sounded amazing. It wasn’t fair that Magnus happened to be good at every damn thing. Alec wasn’t saying this out of spite or jealousy.

He was just frustrated. The fact that Magnus happened to be good at everything only made it harder not to be attracted to him.

“Is there anything you are bad at?” Alec asked – for the sake of his own soul.

Magnus thought about it for a second – as if Alec had asked him a really difficult question. “According to Mr. Fell, my charango skills are not the best.”

Alec couldn’t help but snort. “So, the only thing you are bad at is playing an instrument that no normal high schooler knows about.”

“You know what it is,” Magnus pointed out, with a small smile on his glossy lips.

“Magnus, I am literally hiding in the girls’ bathroom right now. I don’t think I count as a normal high schooler.”

Magnus tapped Alec on the chest – at which point his heart may have stopped for a second. “You are right. As much I am enjoying the strawberry scent, we need to get out of he-”

The door opened again and this time Alec heard more footsteps.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Magnus swore.

They were closer than they were before and Alec finally had the opportunity to get a good look at the other boy’s face. Apparently Magnus’ blue ensemble extended to his face too. Apart from the usual black eyeliner – which he somehow applied perfectly – he was also wearing cobalt blue eyeshadow. There were even tiny specks of blue glitter on his cheeks.

Magnus looked…beautiful. There was no other way to describe the vision in front of him. 

“I just don’t know if I am doing something wrong,” an oddly familiar voice said. “Am I not being obvious enough?”

Shit, Aline!

“Maybe she is just messing with you, Aline,” a dangerously familiar voice said. “You know Blackthorns play hard to get.”

HOLY SHIT, IZZY!!!

“That’s your sister, right?” Magnus whispered and Alec put his hand over the boy’s mouth again. Okay maybe didn’t have to but whatever. He was in panic mode right now.

This was way worse than getting caught by See Li. Isabelle cannot find him with Magnus inside a bathroom stall. She simply cannot.

“Maybe I should just move on?” Aline asked – her voice depressingly sad.

“No way,” Isabelle replied in that commanding voice of hers. “If you have a crush, you should just go ahead and tell them. Otherwise, how else are they supposed to know you like them?”

“You really think so?”

“Duh,” Isabelle said and Alec could literally feel her rolling her eyes. “I mean, look at Alec. He has been crushing for years but he has not said a word to M-”

“ISABELLE NO!!!”

He opened the door and practically threw himself out of the stall just in time. Aline looked shocked and Isabelle looked…it was sort of hard to decipher her face right now.

“Alec, what are you doing in the girls’ bathroom?” Aline asked. “Are you alright?”

Before Alec could come up with a convincing lie, the stall door opened again and Magnus stepped out – looking…embarrassed. It wasn’t fair for someone to look so cute during such an embarrassing situation. Not fair at all.

“Huh,” Isabelle said in a dangerously plain manner. “Alec, can I talk to you outside for a minute?”

She walked out without another word. Alec threw quick look of panic at Magnus and followed his sister out the door.

Isabelle took a sharp turn and jabbed him in the chest. “You have sixty seconds to explain yourself, Alec Lightwood!”

“Izzy, we don’t have that kind of time right now! Assembly is going to start soon!”

“What has that got to do with anything?” Isabelle crossed her arms across her chest – an obvious gesture that she wasn’t going to let this go without a satisfactory response.

“Ugh fine,” Alec relented – seeing that there was no other choice. “Magnus and I are doing a project together.”

“In the girls’ bathroom?” his sister deadpanned.

“Yes, but I can explain all of it later, okay?” Alec begged. “I promise I’ll tell you when I get home.”

“Does Jace know?” she demanded immediately. “If Jace knows and I don’t…I swear to god, Alec!”

“He doesn’t!” Alec said in a rush. “And you can’t tell him. This project is about Jace!”

“About Jace?” Izzy sounded confused. “I thought this was a sex thing!”

“WHAT?” Alec almost screamed. “WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Alec. What would two guys be doing inside a bathroom stall together?”

Alec really wanted to explain that they were actually there to jam the windows. But now suddenly he was thinking about Magnus and sex...

“We were just…” Alec said – begging his mind to have some sort of control. “I promise I’ll explain later. Please?”

Isabelle probably could smell the desperation in his voice since she huffed out a breath and walked into the bathroom again. Alec followed her quickly, only to find Magnus and Aline seriously discussing something.

“She is particularly close to Mark,” Magnus told his friend with a mischievous smile. “Trust me, if you get one Blackthorn in the bag, the rest will fall easily. They are an awfully protective bunch.”

“Right, okay,” Aline nodded seriously – as if she was making mental notes. “Get to Mark first.”

“And they are back,” Magnus beamed at the two of them. “Isabelle, you look lovely as ever.”

“Magnus,” Isabelle said curtly – a bit too curtly for Alec’s taste. Alec recognized the tone of her voice and the sharpness in her eyes immediately. She was playing the protective sibling. Alec had never been on the receiving end before and he had to admit that it felt nice to be there for once.

“Good luck, Aline” Magnus waved at his friend. 

“Thank you so much, Magnus,” Aline grinned as she walked out the door with Isabelle. “You are truly a blessing for the gays.”

As she said a quick goodbye to Alec, Magnus turned towards the mirror and started undoing the top button of jacket - truly a blessing for the gays indeed. 

Before he could turn to Magnus and ask him what was that about, someone yanked him hard from the back of his sweater.

“This is not over, Gideon,” Isabelle hissed from the other side of the door before she walked away.

Alec turned around, slightly worried about what was going to happen once he gets home, and found Magnus fixing his hair in the mirror.

“This mirror is literally spotless,” Magus groaned in annoyance. “It’s like no one ever comes in here!”

“But they do,” Alec pointed out in frustration. “So we better get out of here.”

Magnus nodded in agreement and they rushed out the door as quickly as they could.

“So, Operation Clace is a disaster,” Alec said as they walked toward his class. Students were starting to come in and the corridor looked painfully normal once again.

“Don’t jinx it!” Magnus complained. “Besides, we jammed the lock, didn’t we? Now we just have to get Clary into the bathroom and make sure Jace gets there. You’ll text him, right?”

“I will. I need to be in class for attendance. I’ll see you in a bit?”

“Sure. I need to set the plan in motion. Meet me near the girls’ room in fifteen minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” Alec smiled and walked to his classroom.

It was important to understand that at this point Alec had no fucking clue what he was doing but he knew he was not going to stop. As Mr. Herondale took attendance, Alec quietly texted Jace from under the table.

**Meet me near the girls’ bathroom (ground floor) at 08.45.**

A reply came in less than a minute.

**_Girls’ bathroom? I am intrigued. What’s the scene?_ **

**I need to talk to you about a problem. Just be there?**

**_Okaie ;)_ **

Alec sometimes worried about Jace. The boy could easily become a victim of kidnapping. They would only have to mention that there was a problem and that reckless idiot would get into the van willingly.

Once attendance taking was over, Mr. Herondale instructed all students to go to the auditorium for assembly. Alec went along with everyone else but took a left turn at the end of the corridor and walked towards the girls’ room.

There was no one there – as Magnus had predicted – so Alec sat down on the corridor floor and took out his copy of The Great Gatsby. He had been reading for not more than ten minutes and Magnus propped down next to him.

“So, what is this one about?”

“The Great Gatsby,” Alec said pointing at the cover. “Surely you know this one?”

“I think I’ve seen the movie. Is this the one with where the guy has his crazy wife locked up in a mansion and flirts with his kid’s teacher?”

Emily, I am sorry this fool is slandering your sister’s work like this but he is really cute so I hope you can forgive him.

“That’s Jane Eyre,” Alec corrected him.

His brain also itched to correct the inaccuracies in Magnus’ statement. But Izzy had pointed out that Alec could sometimes come across as a know-it-all when it came to books. So, he decided to keep his mouth shut.

“Oh,” Magnus said and plucked the book away from him and immediately flipped through to the last page.

“Magnus!” Alec chastised, but it was of no help. The other boy had already started to read out the final line of the book in a dramatic fashion.

_“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”_

Magnus’ eyebrows were frowned as if he didn’t like the quote. “Is this a happy ending?”

“Depends on who you ask,” Alec shrugged as he answered. “Gatsby dies in the end though.”

“Yikes,” Magnus grimaced and turned back to the cover. “The main guy dies in the end? That’s kinda lousy.”

“It’s not about the ending, it’s about th-”

“It’s about the journey,” Magnus finished with a smile. “Yes, I remember.”

They were both quiet for a minute when Magnus suddenly said, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

While Magnus could ask anything from Alec, he really wished that he hadn’t asked _that_ question. If you have anxiety, the whole “can I ask you something?” is a fucking nightmare. Before they could ask you anything, your mind would have conjured up hundreds of possible questions – none of them even remotely close to the actual question.

“Of course,” Alec replied – trying not to sound tense.

“In the bathroom…” Magnus hesitated. “Isabelle mentioned you have a crush. Who is it?”

Oh god. Oh fuck.

Okay, he had not seen this one coming. Even his over-thinking brain couldn’t have thought of this.

“Uh,” Alec said not knowing what else to say.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Magnus said quickly. “I was just curious. It was stupid of me to ask. I am sorry.”

“No, it’s alright,” Alec replied – not wanting Magnus to feel bad or stupid.

“It’s just that…It sounded like the name starts with M…Is it someone I know?”

Oh, Emily. Please kill me right now and bury me in the moors where no one will ever find my body.

Alec’s brain couldn’t think of anyone whose name starts with a M – other than the obvious one! – so he went with “It’s Ms. Lovelace.”

At this point, he was really just waiting for the sweet release of death.

“Oh,” Magnus said – his voice oddly disappointed. Didn’t he like Ms. Lovelace? She was not the kindest teacher in school, but a lot of boys in Alec’s class crushed on her for some reason that he couldn’t understand.

“She is quite pretty,” Magnus observed after a moment of silence.

Yes, but it didn’t matter because Alec was hella gay.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Alexander,” Magnus said with a soft smile. “We all had crushed on our teachers at one point or another.”

Alec raised an eyebrow at the other boy and Magnus grinned before saying “Mr. Herondale.”

“Are you serious?” Alec blanched because what the hell!

While Mr. Herondale was the kind of man who was obviously handsome, he had always oddly reminded him of Jace. So, Alec had never been attracted to him at all. Also, Mr. Herondale was sort of like a father figure to him at school so it would have been totally gross.

“I might have a thing for dark hair and blue eyes,” Magnus explained, his cheeks looking slightly pink now. “It’s my favorite combination.

Well, damn it, Mr. Herondale! He suddenly felt envious of his English teacher and wished he was handsome enough for Magnus Bane to have a crush on him.

Oh, well.

“Can I ask you a question too?” Alec asked – desperately seeking a distraction.

“Sure,” Magnus nodded.

“So Jace saves Clary from the bathroom. But then what? The whole damsel in distress thing is not real, you know. It’s not like they are going to fall in love instantly.”

“Oh, Alexander!” Magnus sighed in a wounded tone. “How could you read all these books and not believe in the power of soulmates?”

“You think they are soulmates?”

“I do. And no, they might not fall in love with each other immediately – but it would be a start. If they are not into each other, then we are not going to force them into it, okay? We are just giving those two idiots a gentle nudge.”

“Okay,” Alec replied softly.

“I don’t know why but I know they are meant to be together. It’s just one of those feelings, you know?” Magnus shrugged. “You don’t have to do this if you are uncomfortable with the idea. I don’t want to force you into this.”

“You are not forcing me,” Alec said with a small smile. “I want Jace to be happy.”

“Good,” Magnus smiled back. “Now get behind the pillar. Clary should be here any minute. Then we just wait for the blonde knight in shining armor to rescue her.”

Alec nodded quickly and hid behind the pillar as Magnus followed him.

HE WAS HIDING BEHIND A PILLAR WITH MAGNUS BANE!!!

If someone had told him that he would be hiding behind a pillar with Magnus Bane as they both spied on the girls’ bathroom, Alec would have called them insane.

Not long after, Clary came stomping through the corridor, her lemon green sweater drenched in some sort of liquid.

“You did that?” Alec whispered, as she went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Magnus winked at him and quickly ran towards the bathroom door and played around with the door knob before joining him behind to the pillar.

“Alright, plan is in motion. It’s 08.43. No we just have to wait for Jace to come in,” Magnus grinned at Alec.

He shifted from one foot to another – partly due to the anxiety of wondering what will happen next and partly due to the excitement of being so close to Magnus. He really needed to reign in the gay part of his brain. But it was kind of impossible since all of his brain cells were pretty gay.

In that moment, the door knob started to jerk violently before someone – Clary! – started to bang on the bathroom door.

“Where is Jace?” Magnus asked, obviously worried.

Alec checked his phone and the time was 08.50. Jace was not the kind of person who was tardy.

“I don’t know!” Alec replied in panic and started to call his brother. Jace didn’t pick up from the other end and Alec looked at the other boy helplessly.

The door started rattling more loudly now and Magnus winced at the sound.

“Christ, she is strong for such a tiny human,” Alec bemused in the middle of all the panic.

“Told you,” Magnus replied - as Alec rang Jace again.

There was another bang from the other side of the door when Magnus finally said “Maybe we should just open th-”

They heard someone walking towards the bathroom and quickly ducked behind the pillar again. Alec peaked carefully to see who it was and immediately groaned in frustration.

“Wrong blonde! Wrong blonde!” Magnus mumbled when he saw the other boy trying to open the bathroom door.

The door opened and Clary came out, her sweater looking cleaner and dryer – although she looked more annoyed than before.

“Oh, Sebastian,” she exclaimed in surprise. “Thank you! I didn’t know what happened!”

“These stupid doors sometimes get jammed,” Sebastian said in a phony, airy way only Sebastian could. “I should tell my father to fund the school utility budget again so we could install better one. We can’t have the pretty girls locked behind doors now, can we?”

Ughhhhh.

“Thank you for helping me out,” Clary said with a sheepish look on her face. “I was about to break that door down.”

“It was my pleasure,” Sebastian gave her a million dollar smile. “Come, let me escort you to assembly.”

What a phony little shit! Who even says words like escort in the 21st century?

Alec had never really liked Sebastian – he was always pretending to be nice. What’s more, Alec didn’t trust the boy at all. He desperately gave William Darcy vibes when he obviously stank of Captain Hook vibes.

As Clary and Sebastian walked towards the auditorium, Magnus sank to the floor tiredly. Alec’s phone suddenly started to ring and he picked up immediately.

“Jace, where the hell ha-”

“Alec, it’s a 911!”

Panic immediately started to settle in and he moved towards the corridor in an instant.

“Jace, are you alright? What’s wrong? Where are you?”

“I lost it, Alec. I lost it. Maybe someone stole it. I don’t know. I can’t find it!”

“Jace, you need to calm down and explain. What’s lost? Where are you?”

“My avocado chapstick!! I had it somewhere in my backpack and now it’s gone!”

Alec couldn’t help but facepalm himself in frustration.

“Alec, do you think someone took it? Oh god. What am I going to do now?”

Alec let out a deep breath before he spoke again. “Jace, I swear to god! I thought you were in serious trouble!”

“Hello? Are you not listening to me??? I _am_ in serious trouble! I lost my avocado chapstick. Now my lips are going to get all dry after soccer practice. This is a level one crisis, goddamnit!”

“Jace, you are seriousl-”

“Oh wait!” Jace shouted from the other hand. “Oh my god, I thought I lost you. There you are. Oh thank god. Alec, I found it! It was hidden underneath my towel.”

Emily...Please.

“Man, I almost died!” Jace laughed nervously. “What did you want to meet me about? Are you okay?”

“Never mind,” Alec replied tiredly. “I sorted it out.”

“Are you sure?” his brother asked, his voice genuinely concerned now. “I can be there in five.”

“No, it’s fine. Go to class, okay?” Alec said as calmly as possible – not wanting to worry Jace any further.

When he ended the call and turned around, Magnus was standing behind him with a worried expression on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“We picked the wrong damsel,” Alec said with a small grin.

That evening, when he went home after his extra credit classes, Isabelle was sitting on his bed – waiting for him.

“Jesus Christ! At least turn the lights on!” Alec swore as he dropped his backpack on his bed and sat down next to her.

Isabelle switched on the lamp in his room and silently nodded at him. It was probably a nonverbal gesture for “explain now or die later.”

So Alec told her the whole story – not before asking her to promise that she won’t utter a word to Jace or their mother. He told her about Jace and Clary, he told her about Magnus’ crazy plan and he told her about his part in it.

“Oh,” Izzy said in a disappointed tone. “That’s it? I was seriously hoping it was a sex thing.”

“Isabelle!” Alec groaned because he seriously didn’t need to be thinking about that right now!

“Honestly, the only people who don’t know that Jace and Clary like each other are Jace and Clary,” Isabelle rolled her eyes.

“Precisely,” Alec nodded in affirmation. “So we need to intervene and make them see it!”

“I don’t understand why you need to do all of this crazy planning,” Isabelle shrugged as she played around with his duvet. “Just bang their heads together and ask them to confess their feelings for each other.”

Alec couldn’t help but laugh at that. “This is precisely why Magnus asked for my help and not yours.”

Isabelle rolled her eyes again. “Sure, Alec. That’s why he asked you.”

“What?”

“I am just saying that he came to you because he likes you,” Isabelle explained.

Alec laughed even harder this time. “Sure, Izzy. Magnus Bane likes me and Heathcliff likes Edgar.”

Izzy sighed dramatically as she got off his bed. “For the hundredth time, nobody understands your literature references, Alec!”

“You would if you read something other than Cosmo!” Alec stuck out his tongue. “Just leave this alone, okay? Don’t tell Jace and let me handle it.”

“Ugh, fine!” Isabelle groaned in frustration. “If you want to hang out with Magnus in the girls’ bathroom, you have my blessing.”

“Don't make this about me,” Alec rolled his eyes. “It’s about Jace and Clary. It’s about two oblivious idiots who are in love with each other.”

Izzy gave him an odd look then – her face somehow showed both affection and frustration at the same time.

“Yes, it is,” Izzy finally agreed with a small smile. “I hope the two idiots figure it out.”

“I am doing this for Jace,” Alec said this time – to her or to him, he wasn’t sure.

Isabelle stood by his door and looked at him fondly again.

“You are a good brother, Alec. You have done a lot of things for Jace. But this one isn’t for him and I hope you know that is okay.”

And with that, she was gone.

People seriously need to stop leaving after saying cryptic nonsense. It wasn’t dramatic. It was just frustrating.

Alec was wondering what would happen to their plan since their initial attempt had turned out to be a phenomenal failure.

After finishing up dinner and completing his homework, Alec was about to hit the bed when he received a text from Magnus – whose name he had now saved with a blue heart emoji – as it turned out to be Magnus’ favorite colour.

_**Any idea as to what our next course of action should be? Cause I am stumped :(** _

It seemed that Magnus was on the same boat as him.

**Me too :(**

**But Mr. Herondale once told me that if I don’t know what to do, I should pretend to be a character from a book. It’s easier to know what they would do.**

He didn’t know why he had told Magnus all of that. As if Magnus wanted to listen to his stupid nerd strategies.

**_Alright then. What would Great Gatsby do?_ **

Alec smiled at his phone.

**His name is Jay :P**

His phone pinged almost immediately – as if Magnus was eagerly waiting for Alec’s response.

_**Oh thank god because 'Great' is a horrible first name!** _

Alec laughed out loud this time.

**“Doesn’t Magnus mean ‘Great’?”**

A few pings came in one after the other.

**_First of all, how dare you?_ **

**_Second of all, I was named after Magnesium._ **

**_Third of all, do you speak Latin cause that’s hot!_ **

Alec fell back against the pillows to hide the grin on his face and calm the flutter in his heart. There was no one else in his room but he still didn’t want anyone to see it. The smile on his face and the feeling in his chest belonged to Magnus and Magnus alone.

He decided to ignore Magnus’ outburst and replied his earlier question instead.

**Gatsby would probably throw a party to feel better.**

It was around half an hour later that another reply came from Magnus. Alec had almost fallen asleep, the copy of Wuthering Heights abandoned on his chest. He was glad that he gotten to sleep for at least thirty minutes before the ping had disturbed his slumber since he was pretty sure that he was not going to fall asleep after reading the new text from Magnus.

**_Alright, I have a new plan._ **

**_Alexander, would you like to attend a party at my house this weekend?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta say, I was trapped inside the bathroom last weekend and it was NOT fun!!
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> I'll see you next weekend, baby penguins!
> 
> Fun fact: Fitzgerald considered MANY different names before coming to the amazing The Great Gatsby: Among Ash Heaps and Millionaires; Trimalchio; Trimalchio in West Egg; On the Road to West Egg; Under the Red, White, and Blue; Gold-Hatted Gatsby; and The High-Bouncing Lover.


	4. Home Economics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I feel like Belle from Beauty and the Beast!” Alec gushed, literally twirling around in a circle and clearly having a moment. 
> 
> “What’s Beauty and the Beast?”
> 
> The twirling immediately stopped with a loud gasp. Alec looked at him with gaping eyes, his hands covering his mouth in shock.
> 
> “I was just joking,” Magnus couldn’t help but laugh at the other boy’s reaction. “I am not that uncultured, Alexander.”
> 
> “Well, good,” Alec replied, looking very much relieved. “Because I was a minute away from dragging you to my house and making you watch it.”
> 
> House parties, Dress codes, Graceful swans and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay. I got sick for a while but now I am back!
> 
> Happy reading :)

“Alright, I'm here!” the voice announced from somewhere in his bedroom. “What’s the emergency?”

Magnus peeped his head out through the sliding doors and looked up at his best friend. Catarina was scowling at him – although there was a hint of concern in her face.

“I have nothing to wear to the party tonight,” Magnus sniffled in a pained voice.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Catarina questioned in disbelief. “You are _literally_ sitting on a pile of brand new clothes!!!”

Magnus picked up the green cardigan from the bottom of the pile and frowned at it. He had bought it just last weekend when he had gone shopping with Catarina. Ugh, why couldn’t have bought a blue one? It would have matched Alec’s eyes perfectly. Stupid good for nothing green!

“None of them are right!”

Catarina huffed out a laugh as if he had said something funny.

“We really need to redefine the emergency code,” she declared as she sat down on his bed. “I thought something was wrong and even brought Raphael for reinforcement.”

“But something _is_ wrong!” Magnus whined from the closet, wrapping a red scarf around his face in frustration. “I can’t find the right clothes to wear. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to admit this out loud?”

“Magnus, I don’t think anyone is going to care about what you will be wearing tonight,” Catarina reassured him in a soft voice. “In fact, I think some people might prefer it if you wore nothing at all.”

He couldn’t help but snort at that. “Please tell me you didn’t invite Beatrice!”

“I didn’t. Don’t worry,” Catarina answered to his great relief. “Now come out of the closet, Magnus!”

“I think it’s a little too late for that,” a dry voice commented before Magnus could respond.

Magnus slightly moved the scarf away from his face to see Raphael standing next to Catarina, looking annoyed and unimpressed as usual.

“You look like shit,” Raphael observed with a faint smile – that little bastard!

“How dare you make me feel worse than I already do?” Magnus glowered. “This is a 911, Goddamnit!”

“Having a wardrobe dilemma does not count as an emergency,” Catarina reminded him again. “I would like to point out that ‘shirtless pictures of Oscar Isaac’ do not count as an emergency either.”

“But I felt attacked,” Magnus complained helplessly. “He was shirtless for god’s sake! SHIRTLESS!!”

“Hold on a minute,” Raphael suddenly said in a slow and dangerous tone. “We are here because he is having a wardrobe crisis??? I can’t believe I missed mass for this!!”

Catarina winced and mouthed ‘sorry’ at the younger boy. She walked over to the closet and glared at Magnus. “Now see what you have done! You’ve pissed Raphael off!”

“Raphael is always pissed,” Magnus pointed out as he crawled his way from the closet. “And Raphael, god wants you to help people, doesn’t he? So, help me finding something nice to wear.”

“I am pretty sure that when god said _'It is more blessed to give than receive_ ,’ he wasn’t talking about fashion advice!”

“No, he was talking about blow jobs.”

“MAGNUS!” Catarina and Raphael groaned at the same time.

“Come on, you guys!” Magnus pleaded and brought out the puppy dog eyes. He directed them at Catarina since Raphael was immune to all of his tricks.

“Alright, okay!” his best friend groaned. “What about this one?”

She was holding up a black tank top with the words ‘Bi Bi Bi’ written on the front in blue, purple and pink sequins.

“A bit on the nose, don’t you think?” Magnus asked as he threw it back into the closet again.

“You bought it!” Raphael observed exasperatedly.

“I know! I just don’t think Alec would like this one, okay? Maybe something blue? Where the hell are my blue clothes? I swear to god, I can’t find them when I need them!”

He was maniacally sorting through the clothes strewn all over his bedroom floor looking for something blue when he noticed the odd silence in the room. Magnus turned around and noticed both of his friends staring at him.

“Alec?” Catarina asked.

“Of fucking course!” Raphael swore.

Okay so he might have not told his best friends about his not-so-tiny crush on Alec Lightwood.

Magnus was not the kind of person who kept this sort of thing to himself. If Magnus liked someone, he made sure they knew. He made sure everyone knew.

But with Alec…He wanted to be careful.

It wasn’t just because he wasn’t exactly sure whether Alec was actually into guys. If he was, then he definitely wasn’t out at school. So, Magnus didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.

There had been plenty of times where boys who even spoke to Magnus were assumed as gay. Some hesitated to talk to him for this very reason. They didn’t say it out loud but Magnus knew.

Magnus didn’t want Alec to feel unsafe or threatened in his presence.

They say when you are in love with someone, you feel like you want to shout it from the rooftop. Magnus had felt that way before – with Camille and some others.

But he didn’t feel that way with Alec. He didn’t want to declare his love for Alec Lightwood from the rooftop for the whole world to hear.

He just wanted to say it to Alec. There was almost a physical yearning inside him that wanted to hold Alec’s face and whisper the three words. But some words are not meant to be said out loud. Some words you keep to yourself. Because words, as Magnus had come to learn, have the power to hurt people.

And the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Alec Lightwood.

So, Magnus didn’t say anything to anyone – not even to his best friends.

“What?” Magnus rolled his eyes. “He is just really judgmental! I don’t want him to judge my clothes.”

“Alec?” Catarina raised a brow. “Judgmental?”

“Alec?” Raphael raised both brows. “Fashion critic?”

Okay maybe Magnus’ false excuse was not the best. But it was hard to find a flaw in Alec.

“It’s just….He is-CAN YOU JUST PICK SOMETHING PLEASE?”

Raphael suddenly fell back into the bed and started laughing.

“Dios! You love the kid, don’t you?!?!”

Magnus picked up a pair of skinny jeans off the floor and swatted Raphael in the butt.

“First of all, stop calling everyone a kid like you are 70 years old. You are literally the youngest among us!” Magnus reminded the younger boy who was still laughing.

“Yet somehow I seem to have more brain cells than you all,” Raphael sighed tiredly. “Admit it, Magnus. You have fallen in love with this Lightwood kid!”

“Second of all,” Magnus rolled his eyes and continued. “I don’t _fall_ in love. I glide – like the graceful swan that I am.”

Raphael was definitely going to retort something his god would not have approved of. But thankfully Catarina intervened and dragged Magnus back into the closet.

She picked up the same black tank top that advertised his bisexuality - and his toned arms! - and held it up for him. “I really think you should wear this one.”

“Hhhhh,” Magnus replied doubtfully. “It’s not the right outfit.”

“If it is the right person, then they wouldn’t care about the right outfit, Magnus,” Catarina told him gently.

Magnus thought of the blue eyed boy whose clothes mostly looked like they were from Goodwill. Even though he could possibly be the worst dresser in the history of Idris High, Magnus had never seen anyone more beautiful than Alec Lightwood.

So, maybe Catarina was right. Maybe it didn’t matter what he wore.

He smiled at his best friend, dropped a kiss on her cheek, plucked the tank top from her hands and ran into the bathroom.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly enough with Magnus trying to sort out the snacks – that is if you can call cheetos and oreos snacks. But then right before the party started, his father had sent 'actual food' for the guests and Magnus felt a tiny bit guilty about chasing his father out of the house on a Sunday.

But in his defense, his father was actually interested in going to a symposium about the works of Christopher Marlowe when Magnus had suggested the idea.

“A SYMPOSIUM ON MARLOWE?!?!?” his father had actually screamed. “MODERATED BY NEIL GAIMAN? MAN, THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE WILD NIGHT!”

Magnus could not understand how a bunch of old people discussing a book written centuries go in a hotel lobby constitutes as a wild night but he decided not to question it.

“Just be responsible, okay?” his father had asked him right before leaving for the symposium in the evening. “No drinking. No streaking. No fighting. And definitely no cult creating!”

“That happened once!” Magnus had protested.

“I just want you to be safe, Magnus,” his father smiled worriedly.

“I know, dad,” Magnus had sighed – because his father always worried about him. “I am not a child!”

“Really?” his father had deadpanned. “Because when I asked you to do laundry last week, you called it 'child labour'.”

“Laundry is the worst!” Magnus had groaned loudly.

“For someone who loves wearing clothes, you sure hate washing them,” his father had chuckled and left Magnus to his own devices.

So, thanks to his father, Magnus had an empty house and edible food.

And now he was ready to woo Alec Lightwood!

No, wait!

This was not about Alec! Tonight was about getting Jace and Clary together! Shit!

Meh, Magnus can handle two things at once.

He put on the clothes Catarina had picked for him and literally ran down the stairs to welcome his guests.

There were already a couple of dozen people in his home. But none of them had the face he was looking for. None of them had eyes like the Pacific Ocean. Nevertheless, Magnus went around and greeted his guests. The Lightwoods were nowhere to be seen and neither was Clary.

He noticed Catarina in a beautiful blue floral dress talking to Aline and Helen in a corner and waved at the three of them. Helen was wearing a black leather skirt with a baby blue tube top and Aline was wearing a maroon wrap dress. All three of them looked stunning!

But of course they did as this was a party at Magnus Bane’s house. In Magnus' house, you respect the dress code. Magnus could only hope that Clary took the dress code seriously too.

Clary was beautiful on a regular day. But she did not like to dress up like most girls at Idris High. She preferred to wear worn out jeans and geeky t-shirts. Magnus could only blame Simon for this horrible influence.

Since tonight party's theme was 'Dress to Impress', Magnus knew Clary was definitely going to make an extra effort. There was no way Jace was going to see Clary tonight and not ask her out.

Magnus was feeling pretty hopeful about his plan when Clary walked into the party wearing an oversized sweater that looked like it hadn’t been washed since the birth of Moses.

Oh no. No. No. No.

Jace cannot see her like this! Clary looked like she had just returned from fighting in the Korean War.

“CLARY!!!” Magnus gasped. “THE DRESS CODE!!!”

Clary looked down at her ancient attire and shrugged apologetically.

“I did wear a really nice red lace top like you asked me – weirdly specific by the way,” Clary mumbled. “But this idiot spilled his coffee in the car. This is the second time someone spilled a drink on me this week! I swear to god, I am going to walk around wearing a raincoat!”

“Simon! How could you???” Magnus complained at the pale boy who walked in after her. The boy was wearing old jeans and a decent red t-shirt which for once did not have any geeky references. 

“I swear it was a mistake!” Simon looked embarrassed. “At least I had a sweater in the backseat! Or else, we would have had to go all the way back home to change.”

Magnus made a face at that. “Your sweater looks like a tuberculosis patient’s handkerchief!"

“It’s not blood!” Simon explained quickly. “It’s paint! And some dirt! And a little oil!”

“She looks like a scarecrow, Simon!” Magnus said in exasperation.

“Magnus!!” Clary whined.

“You know what, biscuit? Go up to my room and pick something for yourself. I am sure there is something in there that fits you. Anything is better than this monstrosity.”

Clary looked immediately relieved and ran up to his room without another word.

Alright, crisis averted. Magnus was about to compliment Simon on his reasonably decent attire when _they_ walked in.

Nobody told Magnus they had arrived and they didn't have to. When the Lightwoods walked into a room, you know it. The moment Jace and Isabelle walked in, heads turned automatically. It was almost as if everyone could sense their presence through some sort of hotness radar. The two of them of them noticed this effect too. But they were not fazed or surprised by it. They accepted it as an obvious and appropriate reaction to their presence.

Magnus had assumed that this was a family trait – at least until he had met Alec.

Because mere seconds later when Alec walked into the room, it was as if he was wearing an invisibility cloak – desperately trying not to be seen.

It wasn’t that Alec was unattractive or anything. God only knows Magnus would have written poems every single day about Alec’s physique if he could. Alas, Magnus was not a poet.

He knew that Alec could be seen if he wanted to. Alec could have the same reception as his siblings if only he made an effort to wear something other than monochrome sweaters and faded hoodies.

But Alec didn’t want to. Alec genuinely enjoyed not being seen – which in a Lightwood was a conundrum. In fact, it was something Magnus found genuinely endearing.

“Magnus!” Isabelle cooed as she brought him back to the present. Isabelle Lightwood had definitely taken the dress code seriously what with her white lace dress in which she looked like an actual angel from heaven.

Magnus kissed her on both cheeks with a dashing grin. “I am glad you could all make it.”

“Mom, let us borrow her car,” Jace grinned as he deposited the keys into the pocket of his leather jacket. “Do you have any food?”

Jace wasn't wearing anything too glamorous. Just a white t-shirt with a leather jacket and jeans. But people like Jace didn't have to try to look attractive - they just were.

Isabelle rolled her eyes and Magnus let out a laugh. “Of course, there are some sandwiches, fries, pizza, baked avocado eggs and pas-”

“DUDE, SHUT UP!” Jace gasped and ran towards the kitchen.

“Please ignore him,” Isabelle sighed. “Your house looks amazing, Magnus! And I must mention so do you! Alec, don’t you think Magnus looks stunning?”

Alec who had been staring - at his arms?!?! - quickly looked up at Magnus and gave a little shrug. 

“Um, yeah,” Alec said meekly. “You look, um, nice.”

Magnus had been called many things over the years. People did not hold back when complimenting him and Magnus didn’t mind. Last year’s yearbook called Magnus “High warlock of Brooklyn” because apparently he was too magical.

But nothing had ever made Magnus’ heart stutter than when Alec Lightwood said those words.

ALEC LIGHTWOOD THINKS MAGNUS LOOKS NICE!!!!

That’s it. Magnus is never taking this tank top off ever again.

“Thank you,” Magnus smiled – trying not to blush. “I just threw it on, you know?”

Catarina would kill him if she knew.

“Magnus!” Clary called, walking up to them now. “What the hell happened in your room? Your entire wardrobe is on the floor!”

Clary was wearing the green sweater he had discarded before. Clary looked absolutely adorable and the sweater complimented her eyes beautifully. Well done, Fairchild!

“Did you have a breakdown in the closet again?” Clary grinned, that traitor.

Magnus glared at her and quickly smiled at Isabelle and her brother. “I was just reorganizing.”

“But it looked like som-”

“Clary,” Magnus quickly intervened, “why don’t you go to the kitchen and find something to eat?”

“Yes, Clary,” Isabelle grinned with mischief in her eyes. “There is a snack waiting for you there.”

Okay, this one knows something!

“Oh, alright,” Clary said, looking understandably confused. “Be right back.”

Magnus gave Alec a subtle wink to indicate that their plan was in motion. Okay now that the two lovebirds were occupied, maybe Magnus could talk to Alec? Alone? Alec would like that, right?

“That’s a nice t-shirt,” Isabelle said with a devilish grin.

Magnus was about to thank her again when he noticed that she was talking to someone else. Magnus turned his head and suddenly realized that Simon had been standing there the whole time. The poor thing looked dumbfounded and lost – staring from Isabelle to Magnus.

Magnus subtly kicked him in the ribs and Simon went, “Thanks, my mom bought it for my bar mitzvah.”

Oh, this was going to be painful to watch.

“Isabelle Lightwood,” the girl introduced herself and held out a hand.

“Lewis Simon,” the boy replied as he shook her hand. “Wait, it’s the other way around! You know what, it doesn’t matter. You can call me whatever you want.”

Good lord. Some people seriously needed a crash course on how to be smooth around their crushes. Thank god Magnus was blessed in that department. 

“You really shouldn’t have said that, Simon Lewis,” Isabelle grinned as she dragged him to god knows where. Simon looked over his shoulder and mouthed ‘help me’ before following after her.

“What the hell was that?”

Magnus turned around and noticed Alec staring at the direction Isabelle and Simon had disappeared off to. Magnus assumed they had gone to the living room – which had been temporarily turned into the dance floor.

“It seems like we are playing cupid to more than one couple,” Magnus pointed out.

Alec made a face and Magnus giggled. “Thanks for inviting me,” Alec said softly and smiled at Magnus.

Ah shit. Ah shit. Ah shit.

“Totes,” Magnus replied, giving Alec two thumbs up. 

Okay fine, maybe he was not always smooth. But honestly, how was a human supposed to act smooth in front of…THAT!

Alec was wearing a frayed grey sweater – which might have been white at some point of its existence. His hair was combed neatly – a bit too neatly for a high school student. His jeans did no justice for his beautifully long legs.

Yet somehow….Yet somehow Magnus couldn’t point at someone prettier at the party. There was simply no one else.

"Isabelle knows about the plan, huh?" Magnus asked, even though he was already positive that she did. 

"Yeah, I am sorry," Alec apologized - looking guilty. "She is really good at making people talk."

"Poor Simon," Magnus mumbled under his breath. "It's alright. Our plan worked. So, it doesn't matter who knows. Jace and Clary will be dating within a week."

“So, what happens now?” Alec asked suddenly and Magnus stared at him in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“We have brought Jace and Clary together,” Alec explained with some hesitancy. “You said once we do that, it will work out from there. So, now what?”

Oh.

Magnus hadn’t given that any thought to be honest. He had been hoping that maybe they would have become friends by this point.

“I, uh, I am not sure,” Magnus replied - the loud music drowning out the worry in his voice.

To be entirely honest, Magnus was slightly bummed that their plan had worked out.

“Dude, I didn’t know you were a sandalwood guy!” Jace exclaimed, as he joined the conversation out of nowhere. “I knew there was a secret behind the smooth skin.”

Alec hit his brother on the back. “Jace! I have told you that complimenting other people’s skin is weird!”

“But look at his face!” Jace said in frustration. “See how smooth that skin looks!”

Alec looked like he wanted to die. Magnus could not blame him. Even though he did not have any siblings, thanks to Raphael, Magnus knew all about how embarrassing siblings can be.

"Magnus, do you mind if I...?" Jace asked, raising a hand hesitantly. 

"Um, sure," Magnus shrugged. 

"Dude, I have got to try your routine!" Jace gasped he carefully stroked Magnus' face. "Alec! Magnus' face is so soft. Look!"

Alec - whose face was the color of simon's t-shirt now - shook his head vehemently. "No, thank you."

It was really hard for Magnus not to pout at that. 

"Jace, that's enough!" Alec slapped his brother's hand. 

“Did you know that sandalwood is a natural exfoliator?” Jace asked. "It has antibacterial properties that makes it the perfect ingredient for facial scrubs!"

“You don’t say,” Alec rolled his eyes.

It was interesting to see Alec like this – Sassy, Confident and Witty. He seemed comfortable in his own skin.

Make no mistake, Magnus liked every possible version of Alec. It was just…

Alec seemed to be more relaxed and comfortable in the presence of his brother. Magnus couldn’t help but want Alec to feel that way around him too.

Maybe there was something about Jace that made his brother feel comfortable. Magnus sincerely hoped that Jace would make Clary feel that way-

“Jace, I thought you were in the kitchen!!” Magnus gasped when he suddenly remembered.

Alec’s eyes widened and he stared at Magnus in shock. “Yeah, what are you doing here???”

“Jeez, calm down!” Jace grinned. “I went to the washroom to fix my hair. By the way, you are out of baked avocado eggs, Magnus. Oops!”

“Jace!” Alec groaned.

“It was not my fault that they are too good to be true," Jace shrugged. "Alright, folks! Imma go find the team,” Jace grinned and walked away towards the dance floor.

Well, shit!

“So…,” Alec said slowly. “Jace and Clary didn’t meet.”

“Yeah…”

“This is…uh, bad, right?”

“Yeah, very bad,” Magnus replied.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

“Alright, Operation Clace is back on,” Magnus announced, trying not to sound too cheerful about the failed attempt. “I am going to go find Clary. You secure your brother.”

Alec nodded in understanding and went after his brother.

Magnus couldn’t find Clary in the kitchen so he went up to his bedroom to see if she was there. But to his surprise, it was Raphael who was in the room, occupied with his phone.

“Ugh,” Raphael groaned in annoyance. “Did you not see the ' _Do Not Disturb_ ' sign on the door?”

Magnus frowned and checked the bedroom door. There was indeed a sign on the door handle that said ‘ _Do Not Disturb_ ’.

“Oh my god, do you carry around a _Do Not Disturb_ sign?” Magnus asked in disbelief.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to if people could respect my privacy!” Raphael retorted.

“This is my bedroom!”

Raphael pointed at the mess on the floor. “Well, obviously.”

Magnus knew better than to try and convince Raphael to join the party downstairs. So, instead he asked, “Have you seen Clary?”

“Was she the one who looked like she got attacked by a vampire?” Raphael questioned – even though he full well knew what Clary looked like.

“Yes, that’s the one!”

“She came in here a few minutes ago.”

“Did you see where she went?”

“Nope. I zoned out the moment she said ‘Hey, Raphael!”

“Thanks for nothing, Raphael,” Magnus said sweetly as he threw a random t-shirt off the floor at the boy - who threw it right back at Magnus.

He was about to head to the balcony to check there when he found Clary sitting at the top of the stairs talking to someone on the phone. The Clary who had looked adorable and excited before, now looked worried and tired.

“Are you alright?” he mouthed quietly.

Clary covered the phone with her hand and whispered, “Mom is having a day.”

Magnus didn’t know the whole story but he knew that Clary’s mother had been in an abusive relationship before marrying Luke. Even though they were close friends, Clary had spared him the details. Magnus didn’t know what her mother had been through, but he knew that Jocelyn was hell of a woman. He had actually bonded with Clary when they had both discussed their badass mothers.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” Magnus asked her softly, ready to sit down next to her.

“It’s alright, Magnus” she smiled. “I’ll be down in a bit. You go ahead.”

He hesitated for a minute but decided to respect her privacy.

“Okay,” he smiled back and went down in search of Alec and his brother.

But Alec was not with Jace. He was in the kitchen - standing next to someone else.

“There you are,” she said way too sweetly when she saw him walking towards them. “I have been telling Alec all about you.”

“Don’t believe a word she says,” Magnus told Alec quickly.

“Trust me, some of the things are kinda hard to believe,” Alec laughed nervously.

Magnus shot Catarina a dark look and signaled Alec to follow him back to the living room. The party was in full swing at this point - with most of the students dancing in the living room area or lounging either in the kitchen or outside. Magnus had no idea how this many people had been invited. But then again, Magnus did know every single person in school. So, he really shouldn't be surprised.

“Where is Jace?” Magnus asked, trying to divert the topic of conversation.

“He went outside to check out your garden,” Alec shrugged.

“He is supposed to be checking out something else!” Magnus mumbled.

“Where is Clary?” Alec asked.

“She is on the phone with her mom,” Magnus said – hoping he wouldn’t have to elaborate. “We need to get them both here as soo-”

“Magnus, my backpack is missing!”

Magnus blinked at the other boy in confusion.

“You brought your backpack to a party?”

“Yes,” Alec answered worriedly. “It was right here.”

“Alec, it’s okay,” Magnus comforted the other boy. “We’ll find it, okay? Let me check.”

Sure enough someone had moved the bag from the couch to the floor. The abandoned backpack – which looked as battered as Alec’s clothes – was lying on the floor when Magnus picked it up and passed it to Alec.

Alec opened it quickly and pulled something out and clutched it to his chest. “Oh, thank god!”

When Magnus realized what it was, he couldn’t help but feel a rush of affection.

“You brought a book to a house party?”

“Uhhh,” Alec looked embarrassed and put it back. “I am just not great at parties. So, I brought one with me just in case.”

Magnus grabbed it from Alec's hands and automatically flipped through to the last page. 

"Magnus!" Alec tried to warn him, but it was too late.

" _It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done, it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known_ ," Magnus read out loud dramatically. "Hmmm. This one is a bit melancholic."

He flipped over to the front cover and read out the title. "A Tale of Two Cities. Hmm, what is it about?"

"Two cities," Alec deadpanned. 

"Ha ha, Alexander, ha ha," Magnus rolled his eyes. 

Alec took the book back from him carefully and deposited it back into his ancient backpack. It was then that Magnus realized what he had done. He knew that Alec did not enjoy crowds or social gatherings. And yet, he had invited the other boy to a party. Alec was probably feeling really uncomfortable right now.

“Alexander, I am so sorry,” Magnus apologized, feeling incredibly guilty. “I should have asked you before I organized this.”

“You did ask me, remember?” Alec pointed out, putting his backpack on his shoulder. “And I said yes.”

“I know,” Magnus frowned. “But we could have figured out another plan. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“Magnus,” Alec said and Magnus’ heart clutched at the softness of the other boy’s voice. “I am not uncomfortable. I just…I just feel out of place.”

“Is it the party?” Magnus asked worriedly. “Is it too loud?”

“Actually, no,” Alec answered. “It’s not the party.”

“It’s too loud in here,” Alec said, pointing at his head. “It happens when I am surrounded by too many people.”

Alec looked as if Magnus wouldn’t be able to relate to what he was saying, but Magnus totally could. While Alec’s thoughts became louder when he was surrounded by people, Magnus’ thought became louder when he was alone.

This was something he had always envied. He wished he could be comfortable and at peace with his own company – like Alec. But the moment Magnus was alone; the thoughts spiraled, reminding him of everything that could go wrong.

So, while Magnus could not understand Alec’s social anxiety, he could relate to the out of control thoughts.

“Come with me,” Magnus said and held out a hand.

His heart certainly did not stop when Alec took it gently and followed him.

They walked up the staircase and went to a room that Magnus avoided most days. Actually, he couldn’t remember the last time he had been here.

Magnus remembered learning about memories when they studied cognitive functions in biology. While humans stored their memories in the long-term storage, they had learned that we usually forget certain memories with time – especially when they are not revisited often enough.

But there were certain memories in life that you could never forget. You could have not thought about it for years and yet you could still remember every single detail like it happened yesterday.

Magnus had a few memories like that.

The first time his mother had taken him to her lab.

The time they had all went to Indonesia for Magnus’ birthday.

The day Magnus came out to his father.

The day his mother had died.

All of these memories were seared into his brain. Even though some of them were painful, even though he wished he could erase some of them, Magnus was glad to have them. He was glad that he could hold onto them forever.

These were moments in his life that made him who he was today. These were moments that his long-term memory could never forget.

He could never forget the look on Alec’s face the moment he saw what was behind the door.

“Oh my god,” Alec breathed out softly. “Oh my god, Magnus!”

“Neat, right?” Magnus winked, silently thanking his father for being the gigantic and organized nerd that he was.

Every inch of the wall was covered in books.

Even though Magnus was not much of a reader, his father lived and breathed books. He was a journalist after all.

This was his father’s safe space – a room that had a thousand stories. It was a refuge to those who wanted an escape. It was a place where you could disappear and be someone else and live in a different world.

Or that’s what his father had told him.

Magnus hadn’t really understood the gravity of his father’s words until he saw the look on Alec’s face. Alec looked exactly liked Magnus had when his parents had taken him to Marian Koshland Science Museum in DC.

He could not stop staring at the smile on Alec’s face. It was as if someone had literally lit up a light bulb. He hadn’t known that Alec could smile like this.

Magnus was secretly pleased that he had caused that smile. He secretly promised himself that he would do everything in his power to keep Alec smiling like that.

“I feel like Belle from Beauty and the Beast!” Alec gushed, literally twirling around in a circle and clearly having a moment. 

“What’s Beauty and the Beast?”

The twirling immediately stopped with a loud gasp. Alec looked at him with gaping eyes, his hands covering his mouth in shock.

“I was just joking,” Magnus couldn’t help but laugh at the other boy’s reaction. “I am not that uncultured, Alexander.”

“Well, good,” Alec replied, looking very much relieved. “Because I was a minute away from dragging you to my house and making you watch it.”

Goddamnit!

“Hmmmm,” Magnus said, immediately regretting his earlier confession. “Which one is Beauty and the Beast again? Is it the one where people fly around in magic carpets or the one where people talk to mice?”

“It’s the one where people turn into furniture and cutlery,” Alec informed him, his voice playful in a way that made Magnus’ stomach flutter. “I think you’ll like it. There might be a sexy plate or two.”

“You are never allowed to speak to Catarina ever again!!!”

Alec laughed and looked over at the books again.

“Can...Can I?” Alec asked, his voice almost a whisper.

Magnus nodded with a smile. Alec dropped his backpack on the couch carefully and walked towards the endless shelves. If it were someone else, Magnus would have asked them to be careful – not that he ever brought anyone else up here. But with Alec, he didn’t have to. He knew that Alec would treat the books like they had souls inside.

“But they do, Magnus!” he could almost hear his father telling him. “Books do have souls. And when you find one that matches yours? It is one of the best feelings in the world.”

Magnus smiled at the memory and hoped his father was having fun at the symposium. He wondered what his father would make of Alec. He wondered what Alec would make of his father.

“I thought you would feel more in place over here,” Magnus admitted softly. “You can stay here if you like – for as long as you want.”

Alec walked back and looked a Magnus – his eyes bluer than ever. They were standing inches apart and Magnus could almost feel the thud of his heart inside his chest.

“I have never felt more in place in my entire life,” Alec whispered.

Magnus wasn’t sure if Alec was talking about the library or something else – but he didn’t care right now. Alec was okay and that was all that mattered.

Magnus heard a loud cheer – probably at some lame stunt pulled downstairs – and took a step back immediately.

“I was serious before,” he told the other boy. “You can stay here if you want.”

“Will you stay with me?” Alec asked – almost shyly.

Magnus didn’t know what else to do other than smile and nod like the goner that he was.

Alec looked around with a furrowed brow. “I don’t know which shelf to look at first!!”

Magnus pointed at the shelf behind Alec. "I think that one might be the classics sec-"

Alec did not even wait for Magnus to finish the sentence and ran towards the shelf behind him. He picked up a book and gingerly flipped through the pages. “Holy shit! Some of these are first editions!”

“Alexa”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU HAVE A FIRST EDITION OF WUTHERING HEIGHTS????”

“Alec, yo-”

“ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod.”

He put a hand on the other boy’s shoulder and turned him around gently. “Okay, you need to breathe.”

“Magnus, I can’t!” Alec’s voice was a few octaves higher right now. “Too many books to read!”

“Do you need some water?” Magnus asked worriedly.

“No, I need more eyes! And hands! I need more hands!”

Magnus couldn’t help but giggle at the other boy’s theatrics. He had never seen Alec like this before. He was already carrying six books in his hands, helplessly trying to pick up more.

“I wish I could clone myself so I can read all these books at once,” Alec said with great disappointment.

“While the world would indeed be a better place with more Alexander Lightwoods," Magnus teased gently as he picked up some of the books off Alec's hands. "Let’s try to read one book at a time for now, okay?”

“Okay,” Alec smiled and of course picked Wuthering Heights.

So, they both sat there in his father’s library – Alec reading his favorite classic and Magnus reading...or trying to read Anna Karenina.

Magnus couldn’t read a novel on a regular day. So, how was he supposed to focus on the words in front of him when Alec Lightwood was sitting opposite him with that dopey smile on his face? How???

It was almost a religious experience to watch Alec read. The nuances on his face seemed almost too personal to watch. His little gasps, the familiar giggles, the exasperated sighs, the soft fluttering of pages - these were sounds that only made Magnus fall in love with other boy more and more. They had been sitting there for god knows how long – Alec looking at the book and Magnus looking at Alec – when there was a knock on the door and Raphael came in.

“The red-headed kid was looking for you,” Raphael announced in a bored tone.

“Ummm,” Clary said from behind him. “I am older than you.”

“Are you though?” Raphael asked her and walked away without another word.

Alec looked at Clary and then at Magnus. They both realized at the same moment that they had completely forgotten about the party downstairs - and their mission!

“Magnus, I am sorry,” Clary said as she came into the library. “I need to go home.”

“Is everything okay?” Magnus asked, getting up from the floor immediately.

“Yeah,” Clary tried to give him a reassuring smile. “It’s just…her ex had called her and she is just a bit worried, you know? She is always worrying about me. So, I think I should go home – or I am pretty positive that she is going to come here. And trust me, you don’t want the principal’s wife at a high school party.”

Magnus laughed at that and gave her a hug. “You sure you’ll be okay? Do you need me to drive you home, biscuit?”

“I am okay. Simon called us an uber,” she smiled at him and returned the hug tightly.

She gave a quick glance at Alec – who was on his feet now. “Alright, I am off then!”

“Hey, Clary!” he called out when she was by the door. “Did you run into Jace by any chance?”

“Um, no?” Clary answered after a moment. “I think the football team is in the garden. He is probably there.”

“Right, okay. Thanks!” he waved at her in disappointment.

When he turned back, Alec was carefully putting the book back on the shelf again.

“I am sorry I kept you away from the party and ruined the mission,” Alec confessed to the floor.

“First of all, I wanted to be here,” Magnus told him seriously. “Also, nothing is ruined. We can always come up with another plan.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Alec looked at the clock on the wall and sighed tiredly. “Our curfew is at 11. I think we’ll have to go now.”

“I understand,” Magnus replied, not wanting Alec to leave just yet.

They were standing opposite each other again – doing that staring thing again. There were somehow too close to each other but also not close enough. Magnus seriously hoped this was not going to be a thing because it took everything in him to not grab Alec by that hideous sweater and kiss him senseless.

“I’ll go check on Izzy and Jace,” Alec said suddenly and left the room as fast as he could.

Magnus turned off the lights and locked the door behind him when a voice said, “Well, well, well. Did Magnus Bane just spend the entire party locked up inside a library?”

He flipped Raphael off as he walked past him.

“God, you are such a goner for this kid!” Raphael laughed at Magnus' suffering.

By the time Magnus reached the stairs, Alec was already walking up to him. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed Magnus and they were doing the goddamn staring at each other thing again.

“I...,” Alec said hesitantly as he moved a little closer. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For taking me to the library."

"You are welcome."

"I still wish I could clone myself," Alec pouted and Magnus wanted to kiss him so bad. "Then I could have read more books."

"Well, you could always come back here and read them whenever you want," Magnus offered, hoping Alec would take his offer. "Just text me before you get here. I'll make sure someone is at home."

Alec looked up at that - his eyes wide and full of surprise. "You...You would do that for me?"

"Of course," Magnus promised.

"Why?" Alec asked - the confusion genuine in his voice.

“Alexander, I...," Magnus hesitated at first. "You seem so comfortable around your siblings. I just hoped you could feel the same way around me. I just want you to be yourself.”

Alec opened his mouth to say something and closed it again. He nodded at Magnus and walked down the stairs. But he stopped halfway through, his hands gripping the bannister tightly. He turned around and quickly climbed up the stairs and was standing in front of Magnus again.

They were staring at each other – the same as before.

Despite the crowd, the loud music and the vibrations from the floor – it felt like they were the only two people there.

Magnus had never felt like this before. He didn’t know that love could feel like this.

Maybe this had nothing to do with love.

Maybe this was just Alec Lightwood.

“I just…” Alec started and stopped again. He let out a deep breath. “What you saw…in the library. That’s me. All of me.”

Magnus wasn’t sure if he was breathing or not. Alec was too close and his words were too real.

“It is hard to be yourself when you are different – especially in high school. I know that we are supposed to stand out and embrace our individuality or whatever. But the need to belong is sometimes stronger than the need to stand out. So, being myself is not always easy.”

“Alexander…”

“But when I am with you….I just- I do want to be myself around you. Trust me, I do. God, if only you knew how much!”

And with that Alec threw himself at Magnus and embraced him in a bone crushing hug. It took Magnus a minute to realize what was happening before his arms found their way around Alec. Alec rested his head of Magnus’s shoulder and while Magnus rested his on Alec’s.

“You make me want to be myself more than anyone else in the world,” Alec whispered before pulling back from him. “Good night, Magnus.”

Magnus stood there frozen on the spot – trying to comprehend what had just happened. Alec had said some seriously intense – and cryptic!!! – shit and then had hugged him???

When Magnus’ brain caught up with reality, he decided to run after Alec and ask him what the hell that had been about. But his legs felt like jello and his head was swimming with emotions.

In his attempt to run after Alec, for the first time in his life, Magnus Bane tripped on his own feet and fell off the stairs.

He quickly got up from the bottom of the staircase, dusted his jeans and desperately hoped no one saw that.

But unfortunately god was not that kind.

“Hey, graceful swan!” Raphael called out from the top of the stairs. “Nice gliding!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Come find me @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> I'll see you next week!
> 
> Fun fact: Christopher Marlowe (a fav of mine!!!) was a pioneer of the Elizabethan theatre. He influenced Shakespeare, and Shakespeare’s biographer Jonathan Bate has even suggested that Marlowe and Shakespeare became locked in a competition, where each influenced the other.


	5. Physical Education

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the hell are you doing outside? You know you can run into other people here, right?”
> 
> “The weather seemed perfect,” Alec replied. “So, I thought I’ll read outside.”
> 
> “Uh-Uh,” Jace was still grinning. “So, this sudden change of habit has nothing to do with the fact that Magnus has been doing laps without a shirt all afternoon?”
> 
> “Hey, I am just here to read,” Alec said defensively. “If Magnus decided to run around the grounds without a shirt on, then that’s just a weird coincidence.”
> 
> Shirtless runners, Lethal cupcakes, Bloody fists and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have completely lost track of my schedule but what else is new huh?
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one. Happy reading :)

It was not bad to be honest.

The fresh wind in his face. The sun on his skin. The grass underneath his feet. It all felt oddly nice. Of course, Alec would still read prefer to read inside – a classroom, bedroom or any room. Any room that had four walls and a functioning lock.

But today was not a day to stay indoors. Today called for outdoor time. So, Alec had picked up his copy of Wuthering Heights and left to the grounds after school so he could read outside. This was not at all an Alec Lightwood thing to do. But he felt like the weather called for this new exploration.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” someone whistled. Alec knew who the voice belonged to. He would recognize that voice anywhere.

“I thought you were training,” Alec commented, looking up from his book.

“I was and then I saw you out here,” Jace grinned like the Cheshire cat. “What the hell are you doing outside? You know you can run into other people here, right?”

He totally could. A lot of kids like to hang out in the grounds because it was the place where you were least likely to run into a teacher. So, it was the ideal place for making out….or reading a book.

“The weather seemed perfect,” Alec replied. “So, I thought I’ll read outside.”

“Uh-Uh,” Jace was still grinning. “So, this sudden change of habit has nothing to do with the fact that Magnus has been doing laps without a shirt all afternoon?”

“Hey, I am just here to read,” Alec said defensively. “If Magnus decided to run around the grounds without a shirt on, then that’s just a weird coincidence.”

It really wasn’t.

Jace had asked him to wait till soccer practice was over and Alec had decided to stay in the library or even an empty classroom to read. But then he had seen Magnus running towards the ground without a shirt and-

Well, the rest is self-explanatory, isn’t it?

“Sure, buddy,” Jace continued to grin as if this was the best day of his life.

“Why the hell are you grinning so damn much?”

“No reason,” Jace said, continuing that infuriating grin. “Man, if I knew a shirtless Magnus is what takes to get you out of the classroom…”

“I am not here to ogle shirtless Magnus!”

A couple of girls who were walking past them stopped abruptly and raised a concerned eyebrow.

“No need to be alarmed, ladies,” Jace winked at them. “My brother is just here for the refreshing climate, not to ogle the shirtless boy who is doing pull ups right now.”

Wait a minute. Magnus was just running! When did he start doing pull ups? Alec craned his neck a little bit to get a better view over his brother’s shoulder.

“I KNEW IT!” Jace shouted victoriously. “I knew you were ogling him!”

“Can you blame me?” Alec sighed deeply – pointing at Magnus with his head.

Magnus was indeed doing pull ups – effortlessly hanging from the soccer goal. It seemed almost illegal to look at him, but Alec was feeling like somewhat of a bad boy today.

“Do you think it would be weird if I felt his left bicep?”

Jace spluttered on his protein shake. “Of course it would be weird, Alec! What the fuck?”

Yeah, that’s what he thought. Magnus wouldn’t want Alec feeling his left bicep. In fact, Magnus wouldn’t want Alec feeling anything of his. Honestly, why would he?

“If you are going to feel his bicep, you gotta feel them both,” Jace pointed out seriously. “You can’t just feel the left bicep! That’s weird – and discriminatory to the right one!”

“Hmmm,” Alec sighed and looked over at Magnus again.

The other boy was dabbing his chest and biceps with a pink towel – which had materialized from nowhere. Magnus placed the towel on his face softly and then moved to his chest and arms. He even wiped off the sweat that had gathered in his lower abdomen – just above the waistline of his black track shorts.

Alec never thought that he would be envious of a towel but god good what he would do to be a pink towel right now.

“You should just ask him out,” his brother pointed out, redoing his shoelaces. “I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Um, he could hear me and I could die?”

Jace rolled his eyes in annoyance at that. “What is the point of reading all these romance books if you are not going to sweep someone off their feet? Honestly, Alec! Emily Brontë would be so disappointed in you.”

“You take that back!” Alec gasped.

“Or what?”

“Or I will poison your protein shake!”

“Jokes on you cause this shit already tastes like poison,” Jace grimaced as he swallowed another gulp.

“You know you don’t have to drink that, right?” Alec asked, immediately concerned.

“I know. But the game is tonight and I need to give my best shot,” Jace said – mostly to himself.

“You are going to do great, Jace,” Alec reassured his brother. Jace was the quarterback of the team and despite being in junior school, he was also the captain of the soccer team. When Jace joined the Idris High soccer team, everyone acted exactly like when Harry Potter joined the Gryffindor quidditch team. Alec didn’t understand the fuss – at least until he had seen Jace play.

His brother had been barely 14 during his first game but Jace was already better than everyone else. He played the game like he was born to do it and Alec had never doubted him after that.

“You’ll be here, right?” Jace asked, biting his lip. “Cause mom has that work thing and you don’t have to-”

“Jace, you know mom wanted to be here more than anyone,” Alec said softly.

She really did. She had apologized to Jace more than a couple of hundred times – even though the reason she had to work late tonight was the three of them. It wasn’t like their mom enjoyed doing overtime. But she had to because they were now a single income household.

“But we’ll be here for you,” Alec said again, gently squeezing his brother’s shoulder.

Jace raised an eyebrow. “Y’all not gonna embarrass me, right?”

“Oh, damn,” Alec pouted. “Does this mean I can’t wear my I LOVE JACE glow-in-the-dark t-shirt?”

“You know what, maybe I’ll allow that ton-”

“Too late!” Alec yelled. “Also, Izzy is making cupcakes for all of us. So, make sure to stay from those!”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Jace grimaced. “Is Magnus going to be there too?”

“I dunno,” Alec said looking down at the ground. He had wanted to invite Magnus to come watch the game with him and Izzy. But he didn’t know how to do that. Magnus was definitely going to be at the game anyway. So, should he just ask him to sit with Alec? Would that be too weird? Too obvious? Too desperate?

“Well, let’s ask him then,” Jace shrugged. “Hey, Magnus! Over here!”

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

Magnus was walking towards them now – shirtless and smiling.

And angels above – what a glorious sight it was.

“Hello, you two,” Magnus grinned at them and Alec tried his best not to pass out then and there.

“Magnus, I didn’t know you worked out in the grounds,” Jace asked. “I thought you were more of an indoor gym guy.”

“I am,” Magnus replied taking a sip from his water bottle. “But the weather just seemed so nice today, you know?”

“Uh-huh. Sure buddy,” Jace grinned again. “Are you coming for the game tonight?”

“Yep,” Magnus said, smiling at Alec. “I am bring all my friends for moral support - Simon, Clary and I might even convince Raphael to-”

“Clary is going to be here???”

Alec stopped staring at Magnus for a second to take a look at his brother, who looked quite alarmed.

“Um, yeah?”

“What the fuck, Alec?”

“Why are you freaking out?” Alec asked, trying to calm his brother down.

“I AM NOT FREAKING OUT!” Jace said, totally freaking out.

“Jace, you need to calm do-”

“Fuck, I need to go do some pushups,” his brother swore and ran off without another word.

“Yikes,” Magnus grinned as he spilled the water from his bottle on his head to cool down. “Some people have no chill around their crushes.”

“Hhhhhh,” Alec replied eloquently, desperately trying not to stare the water droplets that were racing down Magnus’ stomach.

“What are you reading today?” Magnus asked, reaching out for his copy as usual. Alec didn’t know what came over him as his first reaction was to swat Magnus in the arms.

His initial thought after doing this was – Oh shit, I just swatted him in the arms! Which was quickly followed by – OH SHIT, I JUST TOUCHED HIS ARMS!!!!

“I am sorry, I…I didn’t mean to,” Alec blabbered quickly. “It’s just…You are…wet.”

Magnus looked down at himself and laughed – another look that should be made illegal.

“Sorry. Sorry,” Magnus said, putting his hands up in surrender. He quickly dried his hands with his towel and held out his hand. “May I?”

Alec passed his copy of Wuthering Heights and Magnus – as usual – immediately skipped to the end of the book.

“Oh,” Magnus said pouting slightly at the last page. “I think I’ve read this book.”

“No, you have only read the last line,” Alec corrected. “This is the first book you read when we were in detention together, remember?”

“Ah,” Magnus smiled. “Good times. But why would you read the same book twice though? Don’t you already know what happens in the end?”

“Because some books are…They just make you so goddamn happy,” Alec couldn't help but smile. “There is a familiarity to them that makes you feel right at home. You feel so giddy when you read it – even if you are reading it for the hundredth time. I read it again and again because despite knowing it by heart it still makes me feel things. I know I have read it before but every time I read it, I find something new. Some metaphor I missed or some foreshadowing I couldn’t decipher. It only makes me fall in love with the book more, you know?”

When he finished talking he realized that he had been talking for a while now. It kinda just happens when he started to talk about books. He may have been a bit too passionate with his answer. He shifted awkwardly in his feet waiting for Magnus to say something in response. But the other boy was just starting at him. Alec didn’t know whether it was important – but Magnus was still shirtless.

Alec took the book back and went through his backpack and passed him The Catcher in the Rye. “Here you go.”

Magnus grinned at him and plucked the book quickly so he could read the last line.

_“Don’t tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”_

“This one is hella cryptic,” Magnus frowned. “Also, you carry two books with you?”

“No, I carry four books with me,” Alec corrected the other boy.

“Why?”

“Why not?”

There was a moment of silence then, with no words and just quiet stares. A couple of days ago this had been awkward and intense and uncomfortable. But now, it was almost as if they had settled in. It was no longer weird, but just oddly comforting.

Alec tried not to remember the other night with Magnus. He didn’t know what exactly had possessed him to hug the other boy tight and say all those things. Maybe it was the overwhelming crowd. Maybe it was that goddamn tank top. Maybe it was the library that almost made him faint from excitement. Maybe it was just Magnus.

Alec didn’t know why he had done what he did, but he knew that it was not going to be the last time. He was starting to lose his self-control with Magnus. It made less sense to keep his feelings in and more sense to let them go.

Maybe…Maybe it was time to have that chat with his mother.

“You are on for Operation Clace tonight, right?” Magnus asked and Alec blinked.

“You mean the game?”

“Of course I mean the game!” Magnus whispered, even though there was no one around them. “I am bringing Clary. We just have to let her see your brother in action. I am sure he will sweep her right off her feet.”

“Clary doesn’t strike me as the type of girl who swoons at quarterbacks,” Alec frowned.

“She is not,” Magnus nodded. “But she is also 15. We are all just horny little shits and let’s be real, Jace is some serious eye candy.”

“You think Jace is hot?” Alec gaped.

“I mean, I can see the appeal,” Magnus shrugged and put his towel over his shoulder. “But he is not my type.”

“Who is your type then?” Alec asked – even though he really, really, really didn’t want to know the answer.

Magnus was probably attracted to prom queens or cool jocks or goth musicians or cheerleaders – basically anyone with a personality. So, Alec didn’t want to know. Yet, he had asked like the dumb shit that he was.

“My type….” Magnus hummed. “I guess they would be something like your books. I like people who make me feel happy. People who make me feel at home. People who make me feel giddy – even though I have seen them hundred times before. I like people who make me feel things.”

Oh how he wished he could make Magnus feel all those things.

“Do you want to sit here and read with me?” Alec asked without thinking.

Magnus’ face dropped suddenly. “I would love to, Alexander. But I need to be in the auditorium soon. We have a meeting to decide the theme for the winter formal. And if I am not there, they will definitely go for something basic and we can’t have that during our final year!”

“It’s alright,” Alec nodded. “I understand.”

Of course Magnus had something important. Why in the world would Magnus Bane sit out here and read a book with Alec? That was probably the lamest invitation in the history of invitations.

But Magnus did look guilty so Alec decided to divert his attention. “I didn’t know you are into décor?”

“I am not into stereotyping but I thought that was pretty obvious,” Magnus giggled. “I love décor. I have been a part of the committee since I was in junior high.”

“Is there anything you are bad at?” Alec asked again, trying not to stare at Magnus’ abs even though they were right there!

“We are yet to find out,” Magnus grinned and walked away.

The only thing better than watching Magnus walk toward you is watching Magnus walk away because damn that ass!

Alec literally had to shake his head and mentally chastise himself because this shit was getting out of control really fast. He lied back in the grass again and decided to spend the rest of the afternoon with his book. He sincerely hoped that he will not be attacked by a shirtless, handsome Magnus again because as the other boy had correctly mentioned earlier they were all horny little shits and Alec…Well, he was a horny little shit too.

Sue him.

He stayed back in school with Jace while Izzy went home so she can make the cupcakes. Alec went and stayed in Mr. Herondale’s classroom after the sun went down and Jace decided to go stay with the rest of the team in the locker room.

Alec knew that tonight was the night because Jace was something else in the soccer field. Clary – who has apparently never seen a soccer game at Idris High – was definitely in for a treat. Alec wondered what would happen after the game. Will Clary approach Jace to say congratulations? Will Jace ask her out? What will happen to Operation Clace then? What will happen to Magnus and Alec?

“Idris Angels, bitches!” Someone hollered and Alec looked up at the clock. It was almost time for the game and Alec decided to go to the field and look for his sister.

Izzy, as usual, was not hard to spot. She was in a black leather ensemble, a look she called ‘ready to throw hands’. But she was wearing an Idris Angels jersey to show her support while Alec decided to show his support more discreetly.

“Where is your jersey?” Izzy frowned when she walked over to him in the hallway.

“I decided to skip the jersey,” Alec shrugged. “It doesn’t go with my sweater.”

“Nothing goes with your sweater, Alec! It is from ancient Egypt!” Izzy rolled her eyes.

“Ancient Egyptians wore linen, not cotton,” Alec corrected her and Izzy coughed something that sounded vaguely like ‘bird’. Alec then proceeded to explain ancient Egyptian clothing as they walked towards the ground.

“At least wear the cap?”

“No!”

“Can I paint your face?”

“Izzy, you know I hate any kind of makeup!”

“It’s not makeup!” Izzy groaned. “It is just face paint. I’ll just paint the initials of the team or Idris High or Jace’s jersey number. Please, Alec?”

“Izzy, No!” Alec said firmly. “Face paint makes my skin all itchy.”

“Ugh, fine!” She pouted at home. “Hold the cupcakes! I customized them according to our team colours. See?”

The cupcakes did not look red or black. It was actually bordering on purple and yellow. But Alec knew better than to question his sister’s cooking.

“Looks great!” Alec gave her thumbs up after years of practice and urged her to find their seats. Izzy walked in a new direction this time, which was not the route to their usual spot, and went straight towards the front row.

Alec didn’t know why or how she had secured front row seats until he saw Magnus waving at him excitedly. Magnus of course was wearing the team jersey over that cursed black tank top. But hey, at least his arms were covered this time!

It was insane how good he looked with a shirt and without one. Again, it should be illegal.

“Alexander, where is your jersey?” Magnus gasped.

“Don’t ask,” Izzy spoke before him. “Or he will give you lecture about Egyptian fashion.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow and Alec just shrugged.

“Can I at least paint your face?” Magnus asked sweetly, taking the small bottle of face paint from Clary – who was sitting right next to him.

“Um, yeah, okay,” Alec shrugged again.

Izzy coughed again and said something that vaguely sounded like ‘jerk’ or ‘dork’. Alec didn’t care which to be honest. If Magnus Bane wants to paint your face, you let him paint your face, goddamn it.

Magnus carefully painted something on his face, his tongue gently poking out of his mouth. The other boy’s face was too close to his and Alec literally had to hold his breath. He had seen Magnus face hundreds of times before but it still somehow managed to blow him away every single time.

Every time, he saw Magnus’ face – it was like the very first time. He learned something new and fell in love with it all over again.

He realized that he has never seen the other boy’s eyes this close. The tiny specks of gold in his iris that surrounded his green pupils - It made his eyes look oddly inhuman, but not in a bad way.

“Magnus, would you like a cupcake?” Izzy smiled and offered one.

“Of course, thank you Isab-OWWWW!” Magnus squealed suddenly.

Alec didn’t want to pinch the other boy. Well, he did but not in this context anyway. But he had to warn Magnus because…Well, he didn’t want him to die.

It might sound like a bit of an overreaction but anyone who had tasted Isabelle’s cooking would understand. It was a life or death situation – literally.

Magnus stared at him in confusion and Alec subtly shook his head.

“Um,” Magnus said in a confused tone. “Maybe a little later? I am not really hungry right now and I feel that these cupcakes deserve better than that.”

Izzy frowned at Alec for some reason and offered one to Clary.

The red headed girl who was now wearing an Idris Angels cap stared at the cupcake worriedly. Alec didn’t know Clary well but he supposed he needed her to be alive for Operation Clace to work out. He shook his head at her too and she immediately understood his message.

“Thanks, Isabelle,” Clary smiled. “But I don’t eat sweets.”

“You are literally munching on cotton candy right now!”

“And I have reached my sweet quota for today,” Clary said sadly. “If only you had brought them five minutes ago. Damn it!”

“So, no one wants to eat my cupcakes?” Isabelle glowered. “After I worked on them all afternoon?”

“I’ll have one,” a brave voice said.

“Ah, finally!” Isabelle cooed. “Someone with taste.”

Alec could have warned Simon too. But he didn’t really know the younger boy well. Maybe he enjoyed food that tastes like detergent.

Simon took a bite and made a noise that sounded somewhere between a gasp and a sob.

“How is it?” Izzy asked with a bright smile.

“So good,” Simon said with a mouth full of cupcake. “So good that I feel like crying.”

“Excellent!” Isabelle beamed and got up from her seat. “I am going to go and give some to Jace.”

She dashed towards the team and Magnus tried to go after her. Alec pulled him back quickly. “Don’t worry. He knows.”

Simon made another gagging sound before plucking Clary’s cap from her head and spitting the cupcake into it.

“Ugh,” he groaned. “WHY does that taste like detergent?”

“How do you know what detergent tastes like?” Clary asked, apparently focusing on the important questions.

“I don’t,” Simon made a face, still recovering from shock. “But it can’t taste worse than this.”

“Welp,” Magnus said as he sat down next to Alec again. “Even perfect people have their faults.”

“Except for you,” Alec said without thinking. “You are good at everything. You are just perfect.”

Magnus grinned at him as if he was pleased by Alec’s comment but before he could say anything Luke made an announcement asking everyone to settle down. Idris Angels walked into the field and everyone started to cheer and scream – a bit too loudly for Alec’s taste.

Soccer games were always too loud for him. But it was something he had learned to endure for Jace – just as Jace had learned to endure the quietness of the library for Alec.

“Wow,” Magnus said a little too loudly. “Has Jace been working out? Look at those calves!”

When no one said anything in response, Magnus nudged Alec in the chest for support.

“Gosh, how did I not notice those arms before?” Alec spoke with an equally loud voice. “He looks very, um, hot.”

“Isn’t he your brother?” Clary asked, looking very confused.

“Uh, yes,” Alec winced. “But as an objective third party, how about those blonde locks, huh?”

Clary gave him an odd look and turned back to observe the game. Alec sent Magnus a helpless look but the other boy urged him to continue.

Izzy returned to her seat, still holding on to her cupcakes, since apparently Jace was 'not allowed to eat anything before the game'.

Magnus made sure to cheer or make a comment about Jace every five minutes and Alec chimed in whenever possible.

“Dayum, he can be the captain of my pants!”

“Whoah, did he just fly?” Alec said. “I think I just saw him fly.”

“Jace Lightwood can quarter my back any time he wants,” Magnus whistled.

“What does that one even mean?” Alec giggled.

“I don’t know,” Magnus giggled back. “But I think it is working.”

Alec didn’t think so since Clary was not even listening to them. But apparently Izzy was since she face palmed and excused herself to go to the washroom.

It was almost halftime when the two of them noticed that Clary was not as excited as they thought she would be. It was as if she did not like Jace at all.

“Maybe she thinks soccer is boring?” Magnus whispered.

“Let’s just hope it’s that,” Alec whispered back.

“Do you think you could sneak in during halftime and ask Jace to play without a shirt on?” Magnus suggested seriously.

“Magnus, I don’t think that is allowed,” Alec answered skeptically.

“Ugh,” Magnus groaned. “Stupid rules!”

As they were thinking of strategies to make Operation Clace work, they suddenly heard a commotion. Alec looked up to see two players fighting each other in the playing field. He squinted to get a proper look and he immediately identified one of the players as Jace.

“Jace!” Alec shouted and ran towards the field.

“Alexander!” he heard Magnus say.

“Magnus!” Clary shouted.

“Clary!” Simon screamed.

They were all running towards the field now, where the other members were trying to separate Jace from Sebastian. Jace had Sebastian pinned to the ground and was punching him repeatedly in the face. Alec heard a tiny gasp from behind him and noticed Clary staring at the scene in shock.

This was just great! They had wanted Clary to see Jace as a shining star but all she had got to see was Jace acting like an asshole.

Strong arms grabbed Clary from her shoulder and pulled her back immediately.

“Clary, you shouldn’t have to see this,” Luke said seriously. “Simon, take her home.”

“But Luke,” Clary started to protest and moved towards Jace.

“Home now!” Luke commanded more severely.

“Luke, I can’t leave my fri-”

“You are coming with me now,” Luke ordered and dragged her away from the scene. Alec wondered what all that had been about but Sebastian released himself from Jace’ grasp and stood up from the ground.

“He is just as crazy as his mother,” Sebastian spit blood into ground. “No wonder she killed herself.”

Jace screamed and launched himself at Sebastian again.

“Sebastian, stop it!” Alec yelled and pulled Jace back to his side.

“Oh, it’s you,” Sebastian sneered. “Of course you are here to have your crazy brother’s back. It’s not like you have friends of your own to hang out with.”

“Sebastian, shut up right up now or else,” Magnus snarled.

“What are you going to do, Bane?” Sebastian laughed. “Your magic dick might work on this faggot but it doesn’t work on me.”

Alec froze at that and Jace noticed his reaction. The boy released himself from his grasp and lunged at Sebastian again, not before Magnus pulled him back quickly.

“Yeah, hold him back,” Sebastian laughed now. “He fights like a girl anyway.”

Before Alec could say anything, a fist came out of nowhere and punched Sebastian in the face.

“Jace is not crazy and neither was his mother. It’s rich that you comment on Jace’s parents considering your father is a narcissistic asshole who has never come for any of your matches. And don’t talk about Alec as if you know anything about friendship or siblings, you selfish prick. You can say all the slurs you want, no one gives a shit. You wish you were half as talented or popular as Magnus.”

“And fight like a girl?” Isabelle snarled at the tall boy who looked pale now. “Is that supposed to be an insult? You wish you could fight like a girl, you weakass bitch!”

“That’s enough! All of you!” a booming voice said. They all turned around to see Madam Lilith standing, with her hands on her hips, looking supremely pissed.

Even though no one really feared Luke, because he was really nice, everyone one at Idris High was afraid of Madam Lilith – who was their vice principal. Even Magnus flinched slightly when he heard her voice and Alec couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread deep in his stomach.

“First thing Monday morning, I will see the both of you in my office,” she snarled at Jace and Sebastian. “Maybe a month’s detention will teach you something about discipline and teamwork.”

Before Alec could drag his brother away, Madam Lilith pointed as Isabelle and made a face. “You will be joining them, Ms. Lightwood!”

“But she was just trying to-” Alec started helplessly.

“We don’t use our fists to make points, Mr. Lightwood,” she informed him severely. “Now unless you want your entirely family to be in detention next week, I suggest you take your siblings home.”

Alec had called them an Uber and the three of them were waiting at the entrance, Operation Clace long forgotten, when he saw Magnus walking towards them hesitantly.

“You okay?” Magnus asked quietly.

“Am fine,” Alec mumbled. “What happened with Clary?”

“She went home,” Magnus responded too softly. “She...Clary grew up in a violent home, Alexander. Her parents are quite protective of her. It is not easy for her to be exposed to violence again.”

Alec understood. There was no physical violence in his home but his parents used to argue all the time. It got so bad at one point that any argument anywhere used to act as a trigger to Alec. He once remembered having a panic attack at the grocery store when the store owner started an argument with a customer. So, he could relate to Clary’s struggle.

“Luke is gonna be pissed, isn’t he?” Alec asked worriedly.

“Luke will understand,” Magnus reassured him. “What Sebastian said…He shouldn’t have said all those things.”

“No, he shouldn’t have,” Alec could only agree. “I am sorry Operation Clace got messed up again.”

Magnus let out a snort. “That’s what you are worried about right now? It’s going to be fine, okay? They are soulmates, remember? Everything will work out just fine.”

Alec didn’t really believe in soulmates but he hoped Magnus was right. He hoped everything would work out just fine.

He smiled at the other boy in response and signaled his siblings to get into the car. He had called his mother and informed her of the incident – because he didn’t know how else to explain the bruise on Jace’s face or Izzy’s knuckles.

“Can I call you later?” Alec asked softly.

“Always,” Magnus whispered and walked back into the grounds with his hands in his pockets.

By the time they got home, their mother was waiting in the porch. She hugged the three of them tightly and inspected all of them – even Alec – for injuries.

“Mom, we didn-” Alec started.

“First-aid first,” she ordered. “Explanations later.”

After she carefully washed and cleared up Jace’s face and Izzy’s hand, she said she wanted to talk to each of them separately. For some reason, it sounded scarier. He would have felt better if the three of them were together. He felt the sudden need to hold Jace’s and Izzy’s hands in his.

She spoke to Izzy first and Alec hoped his sister wouldn’t get into much trouble. He went upstairs to clean himself up. It was only when he saw his face in the mirror that he remembered the face paint. He gently touched his face and remembered the careful concentration on Magnus’ eyes when he had painted Alec’s face.

If his face wasn’t slightly itching, Alec would have probably had the face paint on for the rest of his life. But it seemed unhygienic and kinda stupid. So, Alec took it off with Izzy’s makeup wipes. By the time he got back downstairs, Izzy was in the kitchen, munching on pizza their mom had apparently ordered.

“What did she say?” Alec asked his sister worriedly. “You are not in trouble, are you?”

“Nah,” she grinned at him, with a mouthful of pizza. “She told me to bend my knuckles properly the next time I punch Sebastian in the face.”

“Are you serious?”

“Nope. She told me to use my words next time. You know the drill."

“I know you wanted to defend us but we can't ju"-

“We can’t just hit people,” Izzy finished for him. “I know. Mom told me that too. But she also said she was proud of me for standing up for my brothers. And yes, I will use my words next time.”

“Love you,” Alec said, dropping a kiss on her head. “Jace is with her?”

“Yeah,” Isabelle said quietly. “They have been out there for a while now.”

“Hmmm,” Alec sighed tiredly. “I’ll go check.”

He made his way to the porch to find Jace sitting next to his mother, his head resting on her shoulder. Alec stopped by the door, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.

“She wasn’t really crazy, was she?” Jace questioned – his voice barely a whisper in the night.

“No, she was not,” his mother answered with confidence. “Celine…She was one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. She went through so much…Just like you did. She felt strongly about a lot of things…Just like you do. It does not make her crazy – just human.”

“Hmmm,” Jace hummed quietly.

“Now your father on the other hand,” his mom sighed. “He was definitely crazy. I don’t know what Stephen was thinking wearing all those leather jackets during summer.”

“It’s called fashion,” Jace giggled. “And commitment.”

"You kids," their mother gently ruffled Jace's hair.

"I promise I won't get angry again," Jace promised her softly - for some reason Alec knew he meant it. 

"Honey, there is nothing wrong with getting angry," his mother told him. "Anger is just a valid emotion like the rest of them - especially when you are provoked or hurt. I cannot ask you to not get angry because that's not fair - and definitely not healthy."

"So I can get angry?" Jace gaped. 

"Of course you can," Maryse smiled. "But you have to be careful of how you express that anger. If you let it hurt you or anyone else, then that's what is bad. Do you understand?"

"I do," Jace nodded seriously. "I won't do it again."

“Now that’s enough talking for one night,” his mother said getting up from the couch. “I made nachos and guacamole for dinner.”

“You are the best!” Jace grinned as he got up excitedly.

“I am pretty sure you would say that to anyone who buys you avocados,” Alec teased from the door.

“Still I don’t see you buying me any, you lil shit!” Jace ticked his ribs before running into the house.

“Honey, language!” his mother called after Jace from the porch. But Alec was pretty sure Jace was lost in guacamole right now.

“Alec, can I talk to you for a minute?” his mother asked, when he tried to join his siblings in the kitchen.

Shit, it was his turn now. He walked towards the couch and gingerly sat down next to her. He didn’t know what she was going to say so he decided to start the conversation.

“I am sorry.”

His mother looked taken back. “Why are you sorry? You didn’t get into any trouble.”

“But Jace and Izzy did,” Alec admitted, trying not to show his disappointment with himself. “I am sorry I didn’t take better care of them.”

His mother placed her hand on his chin and turned his head towards her. She gently pushed back the hair away from his face – as she always did.

“Sweety, that’s my job – not yours.”

“Yeah but I am their brother and I shoul-”

“You are 16,” his mother said firmly. “You are not the man of this house. You are not responsible for your siblings. You are just a 16 year old boy.”

“You are saying I shouldn’t look out for them?”

“As their brother, you should always look out for them. But that doesn’t mean that you should take responsibility for their actions. Jace is only a year younger than you. He can take care of himself.”

“But he is just a kid!” Alec explained exasperatedly.

“So are you, sweety,” his mother laughed - albeit a little sadly. 

“Mom, I just wish I could-”

“I know you forget sometimes but you are a kid too,” his mother said softly. “It’s partly my fault that you feel this way. I can only imagine the responsibility you must feel when I am not at home. I do try to be at home more but we need the money and I need the work so I have to do overtime.”

“Mom, I understand,” Alec tried to smile. “I just wish I could help.”

“You help me plenty enough,” his mother smiled – hers completely genuine. “I wish I could help you more. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

He did. But anything did not mean everything.

“I know,” Alec smiled this time. “I am okay.”

“That’s all I want, Alec,” his mother whispered softly. “I just want the four of you to be okay.”

“We’ll be okay,” Alec promised.

“Yeah?” she asked him hopefully. “You’ll let me know if there is anything I can do?”

“Well,” Alec smiled at her brightly now. “There is one thing you could do.”

Later that night, when Isabelle was looking for the leftover cupcakes in the fridge, Alec couldn’t help but grin like a madman.

“Darling, I am so sorry,” his mother told Izzy with a straight face. “I sent them over to Sebastian’s house as an apology.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> Fun fact: In China, the first soccer balls were made from sewn clothing that was filled with rubble. In Europe during the Middle Ages, soccer balls were made from inflated pig bladders. (Ew)


	6. Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are you doing here?” Alec whispered - although there was no need to whisper really.
> 
> “I wanted to talk to you,” Magnus whispered back. Yes, there was no need but it was hella romantic. So whatever.
> 
> “Couldn’t you have called?” Alec shuddered against the cold and desperately looked around the room even though it seemed to be empty.
> 
> “Okay, I’ll climb back down and call you,” Magnus whispered but Alec pulled him closer by his white hoodie.
> 
> “Get in here, you absolute buffoon!” Alec hissed as he pulled Magnus into his room through the window.
> 
> Shirtless models, Difficult pasts, Midnight apologies and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I am aware that this update is two weeks late. But in my defense, the world has gone to shit.  
> I hope you are all safe and doing okay.  
> I am trying to make up for my absence with this 8k (what???) chapter. (PS - That 8k bit was NOT planned. I swear!)  
> There is some (very) slight angst in this chapter. So, watch out.  
> Happy reading, chipmunks!

Magnus had been thinking and planning with Alec over the whole weekend, but they couldn’t come up with a single new plan for Operation Clace.

Okay fine. Maybe they were mostly talking about other things instead of coming with a plan. Sue him.

To be honest, they weren’t exactly talking.

Well, at least Magnus wasn’t.

Alec had been talking the whole time about his books and Magnus did not have the heart to stop him. The other boy usually didn’t talk much. So Magnus was more than happy to let him explain the plot of Wuthering Heights.

Magnus didn’t really remember any of it. But he did remember the way Alec’s voice raised every time he spoke about Heathcliff. He remembered the little sighs when he was frustrated with certain plot points. He remembered the giggles when the other boy made a reference or joke that Magnus didn’t really understand.

Magnus remembered Alec Lightwood sounding happy – and that seemed more important than any stupid plan.

But they should have really come up with something over the weekend because as soon as Magnus walked into the cafeteria on Monday afternoon and saw Clary – he suddenly realized that he had absolutely no idea how to pair her with Jace.

He looked around for Alec but neither the boy nor his siblings were there. Magnus took a deep breath and walked to over to his friends hoping that he could come up with a new plan sometime soon.

“You okay?” Magnus asked the redhead as he sat down next to Raphael – who was miraculously in the cafeteria today.

“I am just tired of not being able to reach things in life,” Clary sighed dramatically as she sipped her orange juice.

“You just need to keep working at it, biscuit,” Magnus reassured her. “Calculus is not really hard if you put your min-”

“Thank you for your concern but I was referring to the supplies shelf in the art room. That stupid thing is taller than a goddamn giraffe,” Clary grumbled. “Also, what are you talking about? Calculus is the worst!”

“Agree to disagree,” Magnus winked at her as he stole a French fry from her lunch tray. “Are you seriously okay though? You seem…a little off.”

Clary knotted her hair into a bun and rubbed her face tiredly. “I am sorry. I just have this stupid art project to figure out.”

Ah, of course. Jocelyn was a good mother but god she was a strict teacher. Magnus didn’t have to be in her class to know that.

“Anything I can help with?” Magnus asked and offered because he knew how difficult these stupid assignments can get at times.

“Mom, ugh, I mean ‘Mrs. Fairchild’ said we need to learn how to paint models,” Clary emphasized with air quotes. “I need a model to paint.”

“I thought art students only drew those weird shape thingies with the vase and ball or whatever,” Magnus wondered out loud.

“That was in seventh grade, Magnus!” Clary giggled. “This is an upgrade. Now we draw shirtless models.”

“Whoah!” Magnus couldn’t help but exclaim. “Shirtless?”

“Yep,” Clary groaned. “I asked Simon but he went to the beach over the weekend with his family and got sunburned. I can still draw him but it will be so much harder.”

“How come?” Magnus asked curiously.

“It’s not a random painting. We need to make sure to get the complexion right and the lines need to be perfect. We had to learn about how to draw the upper body for the whole of last week. Mom went on and on about how the painting should reflect what was on the inside.”

“Like the artery and the lungs?” Magnus joked.

“No, Magnus!” Clary rolled her eyes. “Their heart – or rather their personality. Simon wouldn't have worked out anyway. I know him too well. It might corrupt the idea of the painting. So, I don’t think he is a good option. Despite this being a stupid assignment, I really want to do a good job.”

“It’s alright, we’ll find someone by….?”

“…Today.”

“Today?” Magnus winced.

“I couldn’t find anyone over the weekend!” Clary groaned.

“What’s the issue?”

“Well, how many teenagers do you know who would volunteer to pose shirtless just so someone can ogle them and document what their upper body looks like?”

“I can think of one,” Raphael muttered to no one in particular.

As offended as he was at Raphael’s snide remark, the younger boy right. He had absolutely no problem with posing shirtless – especially if meant helping Clary. Hell, even if wasn’t helping anyone, Magnus did not mind being shirtless.

But as much as he liked to help Clary, he couldn’t help but notice the opportunity her art class project presented.

“Clary, you know I would love to help you out,” Magnus said as earnestly as possible. “But you have seen me shirtless too many times. And you know me well too! Don’t you think it would affect your painting? I think you need someone you have never seen shirtless before or someone you don’t know well. This way, you can avoid artist bias.”

“Oh, you are right!” Clary looked even more bummed out. “I was really hoping you could help me out though.”

Magnus felt bad but it was for the best – because he had someone better in mind.

Better for the situation – not in terms of the upper body!!

“Well, I suppose I need to keep looking,” Clary sighed again. “Raphael, would you like to volunteer?”

Raphael looked up from his phone and stared at her for a minute.

“Are you asking me if I would like to volunteer for a social activity where I would not only be in the presence of other humans but also be shirtless during this scenario as you document and permanently record what my upper body looks like?”

Clary looked awkward. “Uhhh, yes?”

Raphael laughed harder Magnus had ever seen him. “Clary, you crack me up!”

Magnus rolled his eyes and took hold of Clary’s hand. “Hey, don’t worry. I know someone who might be willing.”

“Really?” Clary brightened immediately.

“You need someone who will be comfortable with being shirtless, right?” Magnus asked and his friend nodded. “I know just the guy.”

“Well, who is it?” Clary asked, both curious and nervous.

And scene!

“I was thinking of...Jace?”

“Jace?” Clary gaped at him. “You mean Jonathan?”

“Uh…yes?” Magnus answered.

“Jonathan Christopher?” She was gripping the table at this point.

“How many Jonathans do you know?” Magnus raised a brow.

“Too many,” Clary mumbled.

As much as he wanted them to be together, he didn’t want to make Clary do anything that made her uncomfortable.

“Are you okay with using him as a model?” Magnus asked softly, just to be sure.

“Am I okay with staring at a shirtless Jace for an hour?” Clary asked out loud – but it seemed like she was talking to herself.

It kinda seemed like she was okay with it. She seemed more than okay with it if the dark blush on her cheeks was anything to go by.

“Yeah, he’ll do,” Clary said, looking so damn cute trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing.

“He is very attractive,” Magnus put in for good measure.

“I suppose he is good looking,” Clary added carefully. “You know, from the objective view of the artist.”

“Sure,” Magnus grinned. “Now that you have a model, why don’t you go get your supplies ready?”

“Great! I am off to tackle the supplies shelf,” Clary said a bit too cheerfully for someone who was complaining about it five minutes ago. “Can you ask Jace to be in the art room during last period?”

“Will do,” Magnus smiled and shooed her out of the cafeteria.

Before he could take out his phone and text Alec about the plan, someone cleared their throat loudly.

“Whatever your plan is,” Raphael said in a bored tone. “I don’t like it.”

“What plan? There is no plan. I have never planned anything in my entire life!”

“God, you people are insane!” Raphael rolled his eyes and went back to his phone.

Magnus grinned at the other boy and took out his phone to text Alec. He briefly wondered if he could join Mrs. Fairchild’s class as a new student so that he too can draw a certain someone without a shirt.

Hmmmm. If only Clary had told him earlier.

Magnus could not draw to save his life but he would give it a shot if it meant he could see Alec Lightwood without a shirt on.

He would try his goddamn best.

After fantasizing about a shirtless Alec for a couple of moments - or more – Magnus went for his next class – which was thankfully calculus with Mr. Fell. At least it won’t be agonizingly painful or boring.

He quickly texted the blue eyed boy to meet him with his brother outside the art room just before last period. Hopefully, they could make it. He really hoped Jace – and Alec – were not against ditching one class for the sake of destiny and true love.

And by true love of course – he meant the eventual true love that will blossom between Jace and Clary once their plan works out.

Everyone in class was figuring out the differentiation formula in the textbook when Magnus’ phone buzzed quietly.

_**Jace doesn't mind bunking and Mr. Herondale has gone for a literary conference in Boston - So we are free!** _

**Yay! What’s Jace wearing?**

**_Uhhh. A white t-shirt and jeans? Why?_ ** _**Do we need something more…glamorous?** _

**We don’t need anything at all!**

**_…What do you mean?_ **

**You’ll see. Be there on time! Don’t let Jace pull a Cinderella on us again!**

**_I’ll try ;)_ **

Magnus looked up from his phone to see if anyone was there to see the ridiculous grin on his face. But thankfully everyone was focused on their books. Mr. Fell cleared his throat and Magnus gave him a sheepish smile before putting his phone back into his pocket and returning his attention to the formula in front of him.

Great, now all that had to happen was for Jace to take off his t-shirt. He knew that Clary liked Jace. She wasn’t very good at hiding her feelings – even though she believed the opposite. His friend just needed an incentive to make a move towards the blonde boy – and shirtless Jace would be a great incentive in this case. Clary was definitely going to faint like one of those Victorian ladies.

Okay maybe she wouldn’t faint or whatever – but she would definitely feel something!

After all, she gets to paint Jace Lightwood, the infamous quarterback and superstar of the football team, without a shirt on.

Magnus hadn’t really seen Jace without a shirt himself. In fact, he had never seen Jace without a shirt on – which was unusual since half of the football team liked to hang out in the grounds without their shirts on like some of sort of gladiators. 

But it didn’t really matter since he had seen Jace plenty enough. If that boy could look that good with a shirt, Magnus could only image imagine what he would look like without a shirt.

Well, to be entirely honest, he didn’t really want to imagine Jace without a shirt – or with a shirt.

He was more interested in imagining someone else. He liked imagining someone in their awful sweaters and ancient hoodies.

Magnus once again had to pull himself out of his daydreaming and focus on the formula. Once he figured it out, he submitted his work to Mr. Fell and went to meet his partner in crime to kickstart the plan.

Jace and Alec were already there standing outside the art room laughing about something in private. Magnus was both annoyed and happy that Jace could make Alec laugh that way. He wished Alec could just be himself with Magnus too.

He felt envious of the golden boy for one second before he remembered what Alec had told him at the party.

_“You make me want to be myself more than anyone else.”_

The memory made his head spin and feet move faster. Alec was wearing a questionably grey sweater whereas Jace had gone for his usual James Dean look with his white t-shirt, black leather jacket and jeans.

Something told him that similar to his brother, Jace didn’t really care much about clothes either. He wore the same type of clothes all the time. But unlike Alec, he had good taste and probably knew how to use an iron.

If only Alec made an effort.

But then again, when he looked like the way he did – the ocean eyes, the raven hair, the shy smile, those dangerously long legs and that big old heart…People like that, they didn’t need pretty clothes to make look beautiful. They could make an effort of course – but they really didn’t need to.

Alec didn’t need to do anything. He was perfect the way he looked – even in his questionably gray sweater.

“Hey, Magnus!” Jace greeted him with a smile. “Alec said you need my help. What’s up?”

As much as he was excited about the prospect of getting Clary and Jace together - in that moment Magnus realized that once this plan works out he wouldn’t really have a reason to hang out with Alec again.

Suddenly he no longer wanted to go forward with the plan. He could always come up with some other excuse and get Jace the hell away from here.

But then he remembered Clary.

He remembered how excited she was about the project.

He remembered that this whole damn thing was about her – and Jace.

It wasn’t about him – and Alec.

“Actually, it’s Clary who needs your help,” Magnus informed both of them.

“Clary?” Jace gaped. “Clary Fairchild?”

“How many Clarys do you know?” Magnus raised a brow.

“Just one,” Jace smiled for some reason. “What does she need?”

“Well, she needs a model for her art class!” Magnus announced with flair.

“And she thought of me?” Jace asked softly.

“Well, you were recommended by a close source,” Magnus winked, although he was pretty sure Jace would have been Clary’s first choice anyway.

“Alright then,” Jace clapped his hands excitedly. “Let’s do this!”

“You are okay with someone painting you? In public?” Alec questioned with a shudder.

“Someone needs to document this for the future generations,” Jace said gesturing at himself. “Oh, I’m gonna quickly go apply my avocado chapstick. I might comb hair and calm it down a little bit. Don’t want anyone getting too excited now, do we?”

“Why would they get excited?” Sweet Alexander asked.

“Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears,” Jace said dramatically and walked off towards the bathroom.

“What the hell was that?” Magnus asked the other boy as the both moved away from the door and towards the hallway.

“That was Edgar Allan Poe.”

“Is he a relative?”

Alec looked alarmed.

“I wish,” the boy sighed. “He is a writer.”

“Have you read any of his books?” Magnus asked – because he had found out that listening to Alec talk about books was his new favorite thing to do.

“Some, yes,” Alec smiled. “He mostly wrote poems and short stories. He didn’t really write many romantic stuff.”

“What did he write about then?”

“Gothic horror – like about death, murders and mystery,” Alec answered and Magnus shuddered. “It was still amazing though. He is such a good writer. You should read The Raven. You might like it.”

“Sure,” Magnus said – even though he was 99% sure he was never going to read it. “You don’t happen to have it in your little magical backpack, do you?”

Alec rolled his eyes playfully, held up a finger and as usual Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo-ed a book from his backpack.

“Mr. Herondale asked us to read his work for an assignment while he is away in Boston,” Alec explained. “We were only asked to read his poetry but I may have gotten a bit carried away and branched into his short stories too.”

Magnus shook his head in half disbelief and half fondness as he flipped through to the last page of “The Tell-Tale Heart” by Edgar Allen Poe and read out the final line.

_“Villains!” I shrieked, “dissemble no more! I admit the deed! — tear up the planks! — here, here! — it is the beating of his hideous heart!”_

Alec would have probably dissected that last line and given a two hour lecture about its symbolic meaning and relevance to modern society.

But Magnus was not Alec.

“Yikes,” he commented eloquently instead. “Sounds intense.”

Alec was definitely about to roll his eyes when Jace joined them back – somehow looking even better than he did before.

How???

“Alright, homies. Let’s do some modeling!”

“How the hell does your t-shirt look whiter than before?” Magnus questioned in surprise.

“Tricks of the trade, bro!” Jace winked as he moved closer to the art room.

“Well, it doesn’t matter,” Magnus waved his hand dismissively. “You are going to take it off anyway.”

“What?” Alec gaped. “What kind of R-rated plan is this?”

“Plan?” Jace asked. “What plan?”

“He meant Clary’s assignment plan,” Magnus dashed a smile at Jace and covered Alec’s slip up. “They are doing an assignment on shirtless models or something.”

“So does that mean I have to take off my shirt?” Jace asked skeptically.

“Well yes,” Magnus answered. “That’s the whole point of a shirtless painting assignment. They are focusing on capturing the upper body or something. So, you paint someone without a shirt.”

“Oh,” Alec said quietly. “I didn’t know that part.”

“Didn’t I tell you?” Magnus asked, wondering whether he actually told Alec about the specifics.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jace interrupted hastily. “I am not doing it.”

“What?” Magnus asked in shock. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to!”

“Magnus, he doesn’t want-”

“It’s just for an hour,” Magnus explained to the both of them. “Jace, it is no big deal. There are going to be other shirtless people there too.”

“Great! More people!” Jace crossed his arms. “I said I don’t want to do it, Magnus!”

“But you agreed to do it!”

“Well I changed my mind!”

“You said you’ll help her!”

“You said it was just modeling!”

“It _is_ just modeling!”

“But without a shirt, right?”

“Yes! Why is that a big deal?”

“It is a big deal for me,” Jace almost shouted to his surprise. “I don’t want to take off my shirt in front of random people.”

“Clary is not rand-”

“Magnus, Jace doesn’t want to-” Alec tried to intervene.

“But he agreed!”

“I take it back!” the boy's voice raised.

“But what about Clary’s art proj-”

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT CLARY OR HER STUPID ART PROJECT!”

There was a complete silence which was followed by a loud clattering noise.

Magnus turned around only to find Clary hastily picking up her drawing equipment and walking into the classroom passing all three of them without another word. She was looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact the whole time but he could see the tears streaming down her face. 

“Thanks a lot, Jace!” Magnus fumed at the blonde boy. “You made her cry.”

Jace was about to retort something back but seemed to be at a loss of words.

“I…I didn’t mean, I just co-” he stopped halfway and ran off towards the staircase.

“Jace!” Alec yelled after him. “JACE!”

“I understand if he doesn’t want to pose in front of strangers,” Magnus started to explain. “But he didn’t have to be rude to Clary.”

“He didn’t mean to,” Alec sighed. “He is just…He has some issues.”

“Everyone has issues, Alexander,” Magnus rolled his eyes at the excuse. “That doesn’t give him the right to be an asshole.”

“Jace is not an assh-“ Alec hissed but stopped himself and took a deep breath. “He is just going through some stuff, okay?”

“Of course he is,” Magnus sneered remembering the look on Clary’s face. “I know people like him. They think it is okay to hurt others when they are hurting. But it’s no-”

“You know nothing,” said Alec in a voice Magnus had never heard him use before. Magnus couldn’t recognize that voice.

“I am just saying he shouldn’t ha-”

“Don’t act like you know my brother better than I do,” Alec seethed at him and walked away without another word.

The bell for the last period rang and hallways were instantly flooded by students. As he was standing amidst dozens of moving bodies, Magnus realized he had never felt so lost.

Clary avoided him for the rest of the day and had left school before he could catch her. She proceeded to avoid his texts and calls. Magnus had almost gone to her house but did not want to piss her off even more.

He felt like he had hurt her enough for one day.

To make things even worse, Alec had not texted him that night either. Magnus realized that this was the first night they hadn’t texted each other ever since their encounter at detention. Magnus absolutely did not spend the rest of the night staring at his phone waiting for Alec to text or call. Of course, he could make the first move – but he was too proud.

But mostly he was too scared. He was scared that Alec wouldn’t answer. He was scared that Alec wouldn’t want to talk to him again.

He was on his desk trying to complete his chemistry homework when he heard his phone ring. He literally dived into the bed to grab the damn thing but the fear and excitement dissipated instantly when he realized the call was not from Alec.

It was a number he couldn’t recognize or remember. He answered the phone call still stupidly hoping it was Alec calling from some random number.

The voice on the other end sounded incredibly soft and fragile.

“Hello?”

“Alec?” Magnus whispered, clutching the phone tightly in his hand.

“Um,” the voice sounded confused. “It’s Jace.”

“Oh,” Magnus said, mostly to himself. “What do you want, Jace?”

Jace had been the last person he had expected a call from tonight. What did he have to say to Magnus? Unless…

“Is Alec okay?” Magnus asked worriedly. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, he is okay,” Jace replied. “Well, kind of.”

“Kind of?” Magnus retorted. “What do you mean kind of?”

“He has been moping around all evening and he keeps checking his phone every two minutes. I guess he is not totally okay.”

“Oh,” Magnus said – both surprised and pleased.

“I just…I didn’t mean to snap at you today,” Jace said – sounding genuinely apologetic. “I am sorry.”

“Jace, I am not the one you should be apologizing to,” Magnus said in a neutral tone. “You hurt Clary.”

“I didn’t mean to!” Jace groaned in frustration. “I didn’t mean anything I said!”

“Right,” Magnus tried not to sound sarcastic.

“I swear. I do care about Clary and her project. I did want to help her,” Jace explained.

“Then why didn’t you?” Magnus questioned.

“Because I don’t want to take off my shirt, Magnus!”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t people to see me without a shirt, okay? I don’t want them to see a body that is full of scars, burns and bruises. I definitely don't want someone studying it or painting it!”

Magnus was quiet for a moment, wondering what the hell he was supposed to say to that.

“From football?” Magnus asked quietly.

“From my foster home,” Jace clarified softly. “It was not…great.”

Oh.

Oh no.

“Jace,” Magnus said with immense guilt. “I am so sorry.”

“It was not your fault my foster dad was a psychopath,” Jace muttered.

“Yeah but it was my fault you were put on the spot and made to feel this way,” Magnus apologized.

“It’s alright,” Jace dismissed his apology. “You didn’t know.”

“Yeah well, I am still sorry,” Magnus mumbled – hating himself for putting Jace through this. “You don’t have to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“I know. But I could have made that point without throwing a fit,” Jace mumbled back.

“Well, I should have given you space to explain yourself without making you feel bad.” Magnus countered.

“You are worse than Alec at this apology thing,” the other boy observed and Magnus could almost sense him smile. “Apology accepted.”

“Thank you,” Magnus said softly. “Jace…I am sorry your foster dad was an asshole.”

“The worst part was I didn’t realize he was an asshole,” Jace laughed bitterly. “I thought he really loved me. But you are not supposed to hurt the people you love, are you? I didn’t understand that until I came to live with the Lightwoods.”

“Does…Does Alec know about the scars?”

“He does,” Jace replied. “I don’t mind being shirtless around him. He is the only one I don’t mind.”

“Because he is your brother?”

“Because he is my best friend.”

Magnus could see Alec being the quiet, supportive presence in Jace’s life. He could see the blue eyed boy protecting the amber eyed one.

“I am glad you have Alec,” Magnus told the other boy because he really meant it.

“Magnus?” Jace said, his voice barely a whisper. “I hurt Clary.”

Magnus remembered what Jace had told him moments before. _You are not supposed to hurt the people you love._

“You did,” Magnus said because it was true. “But you didn’t mean to, remember?”

“She is going to hate me, isn’t she?” Jace asked softly. “She is going to think I am some sort of jerk who-”

“Clary is stronger and smarter than people think,” Magnus interjected softly. “And she has been through her fair share of shitty dads too.”

“Oh,” Jace said – sounding genuinely surprised.

“What I am trying to say is…Clary will understand,” Magnus reassured him. “Maybe you should talk to h-”

“No. No. No. No.”

Alright then.

“I mean, I can’t,” Jace confessed. “This is the first time and I…It can’t be this. I can’t talk to her for the first time just so I can dump all my baggage on her. I don’t want her to see me like that.”

“Jace,” Magnus said softly. “Clary wouldn’t care.”

“I know,” Jace said replied as if he actually knew somehow. “But just…Not yet, okay?”

Magnus could understand that.

“Alright, not yet,” he agreed. “But I will tell her it was a misunderstanding.”

“And nothing else?”

“Nothing else,” Magnus promised.

“Thank you,” Jace breathed out. “Can you do me another favor?”

Telling Clary that Magnus had acted like an ass and Jace was not at fault was not technically a favor. But Magnus was willing to do anything to make up for his careless attitude earlier today.

“What is it?”

“For the love god, please call Alec!” Jace sighed in frustration. “He has been locked up in his room all night and reading Isabelle’s old copy of Twilight for god’s sake – somebody needs to do something before gets to New Moon.”

Magnus couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll see you tomorrow in school!”

The talk with Jace definitely did make him feel better – and for the record, he liked Jace better than before.

And no, it wasn’t sympathy or anything.

He genuinely had not expected Jace to call him - not to apologize or explain himself.

But Jace had.

Just like this brother, Jace had managed to take him by surprise too. Maybe it was a Lightwood thing.

Magnus did want to talk to Alec – more than anything else. But he knew there was something he had to do first. So he quickly put on a hoodie on top of his t-shirt, sneaked out of the house and drove to Clary's place as quickly as possible. 

“Magnus?” Luke looked alarmed when he answered the door. “It’s...late! Are you alright?”

“Um, yes,” Magnus said sheepishly. “I just wanted to talk to Clary.”

“Now?”

“It’s important,” Magnus urged, hoping Luke would understand.

“Couldn’t you have called her?”

“Uh, she is not answering my calls,” Magnus murmured.

“I see,” Luke nodded seriously. “You can talk to her – but only if she wants to.”

“Yes, sir,” Magnus nodded.

It was only fair.

Luke came back after a minute and led Magnus to a room filled with canvasses of all sorts – empty ones, half painted ones, stunning ones, abstract ones.

Clary was on the floor staring at a painting in front of her – it was one of a golden angel. There was something about the angel that was strangely familiar. Magnus decided to analyze it some other time when he didn’t have an apology to get to.

“Listen, I just want to say that I am sorry,” Magnus started as soon as Luke left them alone – albeit rather reluctantly. “I know you are mad at me and I totally deserv-”

“Magnus, I am not mad at you!” Clary exclaimed in surprise. “Why would you even think that?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Magnus waved his phone at her. “You haven’t answered my calls or texted back!”

“I-I am not mad,” Clary said again – softly this time. “I am just…God, I am so embarrassed.”

“Clary, why would you-”

“Of course it was a stupid idea to ask Jace to model for my project,” Clary groaned as she fell back against the floor. “Why the hell would he be interested in being a model for me?”

“He was interested!” Magnus corrected her exasperatedly.

“Really?” Clary deadpanned from the floor. “He was interested in my _stupid project_?”

“He was!” Magnus put his hands in the air. “He just…He wasn’t comfortable with being shirtless in front of everyone.”

“Him?”

“Yes,” Magnus sighed. “I spoke to him tonight. He apologized for shouting and he wanted you to know that he did want to help you.”

“Then why didn't he tell me himself?” Clary asked, still not believing him.

“Sometimes….Sometimes it’s difficult to be vulnerable with those you care about,” Magnus explained, lying down on the floor next to her and staring at the artwork on the ceiling.

“I wouldn’t judge him,” Clary said softly – clearly ignoring the bit about Jace caring about her.

“I know you won’t, biscuit,” Magnus replied. “But it’s not about judgment. It’s about pity. Sometimes we are more scared of pity than we are of judgment.”

“I don’t understand,” Clary said. “Why would anyone pity Jace Herondale?”

Why would they indeed.

Magnus could not believe that he hadn’t seen it sooner. It was just assumed that people like Jace would be up to anything because they were popular kids. Magnus had been at the receiving end of it too. The price of being popular and cool was often ignored.

People thought that you had to do things you don’t like in order to be popular. But the truth is, it doesn’t get any better once you become popular either. It’s not as if you can do whatever you want. You still have to play by the rules in order to maintain your status.

Magnus hated it. He hated doing things just to look cool. But just like any other high school student, he was not an exception to peer pressure.

So he was really disappointed with himself today. He should have been able to notice Jace’s struggle more than anyone else.

“Do you remember Si Lee’s pool party last term?” Magnus asked his friend.

“God, yes,” Clary winced. “Simon and I escaped after 10 minutes. It was just too much for us. You weren’t there to save our necks either!”

“I have never been to a pool party,” Magnus confessed.

“Oh,” Clary said. “Why not?”

“I have a fear of drowning,” Magnus confessed quietly. “I…I almost drowned when I was five. My babysitter was being careless during my swim lesson and I…Well, I have never really been fond of pools after that.”

“Magnus, I am sorry,” Clary said, rolling around to see his face. “That’s horrible.”

“The point is Clary….” Magnus wondered how to phrase it carefully. “Regardless of how tough they are, everyone has something they are afraid of. We all have insecurities we hide from others. It might not make sense to other people but…It makes sense to us. And sometimes that’s enough.”

“I am scared of cops,” Clary whispered. “I just freeze every time I see one. Mom’s ex…He was a cop and he used to...He used to-”

“Clary, you don’t have to explain yourself,” Magnus took hold of her hand. “If it makes sense to you, then that’s enough.”

“Okay,” Clary smiled and pulled Magnus into a hug.

“Okay,” he smiled against her tiny frame.

“So, Jace’s insecurity is taking his shirt off?” Clary asked, although she didn’t ask for an explanation as to why. Magnus was glad she respected the boy’s privacy.

“Yep,” Magnus sighed into her shoulder. “It is a damn shame because I bet he looks smoking underneath those tight t-shirts.”

“Magnus!” Clary scoffed and giggled as she hit him on the shoulder.

“Would you like to talk to him?” Magnus asked – just in case since he now had Jace’s number.

“Talk to whom?”

“Jace.”

Clary’s green eyes widened. “Oh no! I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Magnus pouted as his attempts to make his ship sail failed for the third time today.

“I just…He saw me cry, Magnus!” Clary face palmed. “The whole thing was pretty awkward. I don’t think I can talk to him without making it even more awkward. Maybe some other time.”

“Teenagers,” Magnus muttered. “Okay. Some other time then.”

They talked for a few more minutes about the paintings in the room and Magnus did notice the way Clary clearly avoided talking about the painting of the angel in the center of the room. As she walked him to the door half an hour later, Magnus kissed her on the cheek to say goodbye.

“I am sorry about the project,” Magnus winced. “I hope you didn’t fail or anything.”

“Oh no,” Clary laughed. “Apparently no one was able to find someone who was willing to do a shirtless pose. Honestly, I don’t know what mom was thinking.”

“Oh,” Magnus said. “So you are not drawing anyone?”

“Oh we are,” Clary replied cheerfully. “Mom said she will hire a professional model for us to paint. Some guy called Matthew Fairchild. Apparently he is an old family friend and he ca-”

“Holy shit! She is getting Matthew Fairchild?” Magnus gaped. “He models for Givenchy! Oh my god, can I join? I am a decent painter! You’ve seen my work!”

“Drawing a mustache on Simon’s face when he was sleeping does not count as painting,” Clary giggled at his excitement. “I am pretty sure you just want to see the Matthew guy without a shirt.”

“Guilty,” Magnus winked and walked over to his car.

“Are you okay to drive alone at this time?” Clary asked from the door. “I can ask Luke to come with you.”

“I am good,” Magnus smiled at her. “Besides I am not going home. I have another stop to make. I need to talk to someone important.”

“Jace?” Clary asked.

“Alec,” Magnus replied.

Clary smiled at him brightly and shook her head. “What was that about teenagers?”

Magnus stuck out his tongue and took off to his next destination. He had picked up Alec for school before and dropped him off a couple of times too. So, he knew where the other boy lived. It wasn’t that far away.

But Magnus hoped it could be just a little further because by the time he parked in front of Alec’s lane and walked over to his house – he still hadn’t realized what to say to the other boy.

Of course he knew what to say. The essence was ‘I am sorry for being an inconsiderate ass’ but he wished there was an eloquent way of saying it.

Alec was the eloquent one – thanks to all his books.

Why couldn’t Newton or Leibniz write a poem every now and then? It would be definitely helped him out right now.

Maybe he could write Alec an apology through a formula?

Ew, no! He shut down the idea immediately. It was way too cheesy.

Besides, he wasn’t really sure if Alec could solve the formula since the other boy was really good at calculus.

Well, it looked like he had no choice but to improvise.

It was only when Magnus was standing outside Alec’s door about to knock did he realize that his presence might lead to trouble.

First of all, he still wasn’t sure if Alec was into boys – although he was starting to get a sense that he just might be.

But most importantly, he wasn’t sure how Alec’s mother might react. What if she thought they were dating or something?

Magnus sighed. If only.

He didn’t want to get Alec into trouble so he looked at the alternatives and then suddenly had an idea. It wasn’t ideal or advisable but then again those things have never stopped Magnus from doing something dumb before.

He climbed up the nearby tree, got through to the room with the light on and knocked on the window quietly, hoping that the shadow moving behind the curtain wasn’t Alec’s mom.

The curtain moved in one sharp motion and thank god it wasn’t Alec’s mom.

But it wasn’t Alec either.

Isabelle opened the window and stared at him in her pink nightgown and strawberry face mask – listening to some Beatles song Magus couldn’t place due to current circumstances. Her room was pink in every possible way and looked alarmingly in need of help.

“Second window to your left,” Isabelle informed him casually and closed the curtain – as if this was just another Monday night for her.

Magnus really hoped it wasn’t.

He took a deep breath and slowly moved toward last window and gently tapped against it. He couldn’t see anything beyond the curtain but there was a faint light coming from a lamp or something.

He really hoped Isabelle wasn’t pulling a prank on him because right now would be a really bad time to meet Alec’s mom for the first time.

After what seemed like ages, the curtain moved and there he was standing on the other side – with his stupidly beautiful face that almost made Magnus slip and fall to his death.

Alec’s blue eyes – which looked almost black in the night – widened in shock. The other boy kept staring at him until Magnus signaled him to open the window.

“What are you doing here?” Alec whispered - although there was no need to whisper really.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Magnus whispered back. Yes, there was no need but it was hella romantic. So whatever.

“Couldn’t you have called?” Alec shuddered against the cold and desperately looked around the room even though it seemed to be empty.

Oh shit. Of course this had been a bad idea. Magnus had thought it would be ill-advised to meet Alec in the porch and then had climbed up to meet him in his bedroom.

What an idiot.

“Okay, I’ll climb back down and call you,” Magnus whispered but Alec pulled him closer by his white hoodie.

“Get in here, you absolute buffoon!” Alec hissed as he pulled Magnus into his room through the window.

Magnus stumbled through the window and landed on Alec’s bed.

It wasn’t ideal or how he had imagined he would fall into Alec’s bed for the first time. But Magnus still felt goddamn butterflies in his stomach. Alec looked absolutely adorable and unfairly beautiful in his soft blue pajamas. So, Magnus decided to avoid eye contact and look around instead.

Alec’s room looked like…Alec.

Well, ideally your room is supposed to represent yourself but the resemblance was alarmingly accurate.

It was plain. The walls were grey. There were dozens of books – in almost every surface. There were books on the wall, on shelves, on the table, on the bed and everywhere he looked. His bed was small and simple.

There was nothing fancy or glamorous about the room. But it Magnus immediately felt at home. It was one of those spaces you walk into and realize you wish you could live there.

Magnus, who loved color and lived for décor, wanted to live in this room – if that didn’t say how much he was a goner for Alec Lightwood then he didn’t know what else would.

“Magnus,” Alec waved a hand in front of him – unfortunately speaking in his normal tone now. “What are you doing here?”

“I talked to Jace,” Magnus said getting off the bed and standing awkwardly. “We talked…about stuff.”

“He told you about his foster dad?” Alec asked in disbelief.

“He did,” Magnus nodded. “Alexander, I am really sorry I acted like a jerk and called your brother an asshole.”

“He is not an asshole,” Alec said again – but mostly to the floor.

“I know that now,” Magnus urged and moved forward. “I knew it back then too. I was…I got pissed off and I didn’t know what I was saying. It was uncalled for.”

“Jace has been through a lot,” Alec said as he gently sat down on the edge on his bed. “And you were right. It is not an excuse to be a jerk. But sometimes…You can’t help it. It's not really easy to move on from something like that.”

“I am glad he found your family,” Magnus said sincerely. “I am glad he found you.”

“He didn’t find us for a long time. He only came to us after all of this happened. He was with Mr. Herondale for a while,” Alec explained.

“Mr. Herondale?”

“They are distantly related,” Alec explained. “But my mom requested to adopt Jace and my parents were closer to his birth parents – more so than Mr. Herondale.”

“He is in a safe place now,” Magnus smiled weakly.

“Yes but that doesn’t mean he isn’t vulnerable anymore,” Alec sighed.

“I know and I am sorry,” Magnus apologized again – hoping Alec realized he really meant it. “When I came up with the plan, I asked Clary if was okay with it. But I never thought to ask Jace if he would be okay with it.”

“Because he is a boy?”

“God, no!” Magnus exclaimed in disgust because fuck gender stereotypes. “It was because he is…Well, he is Jace. I just assumed he would be up for it. But now I realize that it was wrong to assume that.”

“I know Jace can be….Well, Jace,” Alec sighed tiredly. “I used to think his overconfidence was a coping mechanism or something. But then I realized that it was just who he was. He likes being in the spotlight and he loves attention and doing stupid shit. But Magnus…Even Jace has boundaries. We all do.”

“I know,” Magnus said, feeling stupid and guilty. “I am sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Alec said softly. “You two talked right? You are both okay now?”

“Yes, we are,” Magnus replied feeling relieved.

They were staring at each other from opposite corners of the room – Alec on the bed and Magnus leaning against the table. He wondered what to say next or what to do but his brain cells were not cooperating.

Because as much as he was grateful that he and Jace were okay, he needed to know that everything was okay between Alec and him too.

He just needed them to be okay.

“I am sorry too,” Alec said, looking down.

“Whatever for?” Magnus questioned, honestly perplexed.

“Well, I did snap at you and I-”

“Alexander, it’s alright!”

“No, it’s not,” Alec pointed out hastily. “I don’t usually do that. I never thought I would snap at you. But Jace…I just can’t watch Jace get hurt.”

Magnus remembered the flare that rose in his chest when he saw the tears on Clary’s face. So, who was he to judge the boy in front of him?

“Jace is not just my brother,” Alec started.

“He is your best friend,” Magnus finished for him.

“He is,” Alec nodded. “I know he is strong and tough and quarterback and whatever but he is also…He is just-”

“I understand, Alexander," Magnus reassured the other boy. 

"You do?" Alec asked him, sounding like he was not sure if Magnus actually did.

"It is the strongest who suffer the most because they believe they cannot afford to be weak. So, they take everything the world throws at them and….They keeping taking it. But that doesn’t mean we should keep throwing stuff at them, right?”

“No,” Alec said, his eyes softer now. “No, we shouldn’t.”

“You really care about him,” Magnus pointed out – wishing not for the first time that he had a sibling of his own.

“I do,” Alec admitted with a certain fondness in his voice. “I know we are not related by blood or we didn’t grow up together but…It’s like we are connected somehow. Everything he feels, I feel it too. It’s like he knows my soul and I know his.”

Magnus smiled at the other boy endearingly and Alec got off the bed and walked up to him.

“You don’t get it,” Alec observed regretfully.

“No, I don’t,” Magnus replied honestly. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

Alec smiled at that. A strong wind blew in from the window and Magnus shuddered a little. He moved closer to the window and chuckled softly. “Did you really have to climb up to my bedroom in the middle of the night to have this conversation?”

“I didn’t,” Magnus answered, looking straight at Alec. “But I wanted to see your face. The last time I saw you...You were mad at me. I didn’t want to go to bed that way. I didn’t want to fall asleep thinking that’s how I made you feel.”

Alec took in a deep breath. “Oh, Magnus. You make me feel like…”

“Like Juliet?” Magnus grinned.

“Hm?” Alec asked, looking confused.

“The whole climbing up the window thing,” Magnus gestured. "From Romeo and Juliet?"

“It was a balcony,” Alec rolled his eyes. “This is what happens when you watch bad movie adaptations instead of reading the book.”

“Ahhh,” Magnus said, choosing to ignore his failed attempt at using a literature reference to woo Alec. “Speaking of books, I heard you were reading Twilight? Can I read the last line?”

Alec grinned at that as he walked over to his bed and picked up the copy from under his pillow. Magnus, without wasting another second, grabbed it from him and threw it out of the window.

“Magnus!”

“Trust me, it is better this way,” Magnus shrugged as he looked down the window to make sure the cursed book was gone.

Alec’s shocked face turned into a ridiculously dopey one. “You know what, I usually don’t condone such flippant attitude towards books but I do think it was for the best. She lost me at vampires who glistened in the sun.”

“I am just glad you didn’t get to point where Jacob imp-”

“Ah, bup bup bup,” Alec moved forward quickly and shushed him, putting a finger on his lips. “I might go back to those books if i ever have a bad day again. It might be my guilty pleasure.”

Magnus gently removed Alec’s hand from his lips and held it carefully in his own for a moment before letting it go. “Then I am going to make it my personal mission to ensure you never have another bad day again.”

Alec laughed at that. “I think you have enough missions on your plate for now.”

“Speaking of,” Magnus said in a careful tone. “I think we should take a break from Operation Clace for the rest of this week."

"You still want to get them together?" Alec asked, sounding rather surprised. "I thought you would give up...after what happened today."

Magnus had thought so too. But that was until he had spoken to Jace and Clary. Despite never having met or talked to each other, it was obvious that they liked each other and even cared for each other. What's more, Magnus realized they needed each other.

"If anything," Magnus told the other boy. "I more convinced than ever that those two are soulmates. We cannot give up!"

"If you say so," Alec nodded seriously - suddenly all business. "So, no more planning this week?"

"Nope.They need a break and so do we," Magnus laughed nervously. 

"So, um, what does that mean?" Alec asked. "Do we not plan or like...What do we-"

Magnus realized that Alec was trying to ask if they should continue to talk to each other as they will not be in cahoots this week. He was pleased to find out that the other boy was worried about their...friendship as well. 

"Well, we still need to come up with a plan for next week," Magnus informed him in a serious tone. "I mean, considering how today went, I think we need to spend extra time together to make sure we don't mess up it up next week. What do you think?”

“I think that is probably for the best,” Alec agreed with a smile.

Neither of them had anything to say after that. It was so quiet in Alec’s bedroom that Magnus could almost hear his own heartbeat.

“I think I should go now,” Magnus said hesitantly.

“Yeah okay,” Alec nodded – looking rather sad at the prospect. “Do you want to leave through the front door?”

Magnus considered the option and then noticed Alec nervously pulling at his pajama shirt. “I think I’ll take the window.”

It was only when he moved towards the window that he saw the view outside.

“That is a beautiful view,” Magnus breathed out in surprise, referring to half-moon on the sky and thousands of stars flickering to say goodbye. Magnus had never seen that many stars in his entire life.There were far too many of them and yet somehow every once them looked absolutely beautiful.

He noticed that Alec was standing right behind him - close enough that their bodies were brushing against each other. 

"I don't think I have ever seen this many stars," Magnus confessed, his voice soft and low. "You'd think it would be too much but somehow it is still stunning."

“Do you know what Edgar Allen Poe said about that?” Alec asked, his cold breath tickling Magnus' cheek.

“Something creepy?” Magnus joked to hide the fluttering of his heart.

“ _There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion._ ”

“That is surprisingly beautiful,” Magnus pointed out - starting to sort of like this Poe guy.

Alec seemed pleased at that. “Be careful when you climb down and don’t drive too fast.”

Magnus tried not to grin like an idiot at Alec’s simple yet touching displays of affection. He carefully climbed out of the window and turned around to see the other boy’s face one last time in the moonlight.

“Alexander,” he whispered, the wind carrying his voice to his love. “We are okay, right?”

His blue eyes twinkled like two stars – more beautiful than any goddamn thing in the sky.

“We are okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> I will update two chapters next week (to catch up with the schedule and because quarantine-ing is boring as heck)
> 
> Fun fact: Edgar Allan Poe is the inventor of the modern detective story and was an innovator in the genre of science fiction. He also had an extremely interesting life (I might be biased here)


	7. Humanities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am just…What if she starts seeing me differently? I am worried that if I come out to her, she’ll look at me and see someone she doesn’t recognize. She’ll look at me and just see a boy who is gay. I don’t want that. I want her to look at me and…only see me.”
> 
> “Alexander,” Magnus whispered, holding his face in his hands. “I see you.”
> 
> Missing persons, Abandoned buildings, Yellow buses and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I am only capable of writing 8k chapters or nothing at all? Kay then.
> 
> This was a VERY difficult chapter to write - but it turned out to be one of my favorites.
> 
> Happy reading :)

Alec stared at his phone one more time before heading into the library. He knew glaring at the device would not magically make Magnus respond to his texts – but no harm in trying, right?

It was an extremely slow day in school. Alec settled down in his usual table right next to the window, overlooking the football field. The first time he had come here, he had chosen the spot so that he can look out the window and keep an eye on Jace, who was often in the field practicing. After a couple of years, it had become his designated spot, whether Jace was out there or not.

It felt nice to have your own little spot.

Alec often wondered if people had their own little spots in life too – a place they are just meant to be.

A place which makes you feel safe, comfortable and happy – three elusive emotions Alec kept chasing every single day.

He had never really felt happy and safe and comfortable at the same time. Of course, this didn’t mean that he didn’t feel happy or safe or comfortable with his family.

He did feel happy and safe and comfortable with them – but just not at the same time.

It was as if Alec was destined never to feel happy and safe and comfortable at the same time.

It was one of the reasons Alec read a lot – because the only place in which he felt all three of these emotions was between pages of his favorite books. He felt happy and safe and comfortable when he walked through the aisles of the library or when he was standing in the middle of a bookshop surrounded by thousands of fictional characters.

He loved every one of them, every one of those characters. They never expected anything of Alec and they were always there for him.

It seemed a little sad that the only place in which he felt happy, safe and comfortable seemed to be fictional. But Alec had convinced himself that something was better than nothing.

He thought of home – a place where he could be himself in the comfort of his family. He thought of his siblings and his mom, who made him feel safe at all times.

But he didn’t feel happy - because he knew his happiness might make someone else sad. 

He realized how much it hurt him to lie to her face and keep the truth from her every single day. He realized how unhappy it made him.

So even though he was comfortable and safe at home – he wasn’t happy.

He shook his head in exasperation and brought his focus back to his book. Now was not the time to have an existential crisis. He was perpetually worried about his future; so he realized he could do it some other time. Right now, it was time to worry about Magnus.

Sometimes Alec felt that all he ever did was worry about himself and/or other people.

What’s the opposite of worrying? And most importantly, would he ever feel that?

For a long time, Alec had thought that his spot was the library. Maybe this was the place where he would be happy, comfortable and safe.

He did feel comfortable with every other student in the room – who didn’t care about anything but the book in front of them. He felt so happy to be walking around the aisles and discovering new books and new worlds.

But he didn’t feel safe - because he knew the feeling was a fleeting one because of all the secrets he kept.

Every time he looked over the football field to keep an eye on Jace, he worried that someone would think that he was staring at the football team and make assumptions. He worried that if a teacher saw him reading ‘ _The Boys in the Band_ ’ they would make a comment during the parent-teacher conferences.

So, even though he was happy and comfortable in the library – he wasn’t safe.

He slowly pulled out his phone from his pocket, but there was still no reply from Magnus. He quickly put it back since getting caught by Ms. Gray for texting in the library was something you did not want to go through this early in the morning.

The rational part of his brain knew that Magnus could be busy or haven’t had the time to get to his phone. He knew that there was a logical explanation behind Magnus' silence. But alas, anxiety did not care about logic.

He tried again to read the words on the page in front of him, but kept thinking if Magnus was alright. What if for someone reason Magnus was angry at him and didn’t want to speak anymore? They did have their first argument last week but they had sorted things out – in Alec’s bedroom out of all places.

Alec tried not to think about that night. The thought of Magnus in his bedroom made him smile and shiver at the same time. He pushed the thought and away and started to worry about Magnus again.

He convinced his brain that Magnus wasn’t angry at him – it took some time and effort, but Alec was able to do it somehow.

He had kept blaming himself for Magnus’ silence – because he was used to blaming himself, even for things beyond his control.

But then he had remembered the look on Magnus’ face when Alec had told the other boy that they were okay. Magnus’ face lit up by nothing but moonlight and pure joy that they were okay. Alec remembered that face and convinced himself that Magnus could not be angry at him.

Which meant that the only other reason why Magnus would be avoiding his texts was because he was hurt.

Of course, he could be busy. But Magnus always texted him back - even when he was busy. He would at least tell Alec that he was in class – as he has done multiple times before.

Anxiety pooled in his chest and Alec grabbed his books and hastily left the library. There was no way he could sit down and do his homework when he was worried about Magnus. He checked the football field, homeroom and even the auditorium – but Magnus was nowhere to be found.

He was seriously considering walking into Mr. Garroway’s office and making an announcement from the microphone or something when he walked into her.

“Oof,” the girl said as she picked up her massive biology textbook.

“So sorry!” Alec apologized as he picked up her other belongings “I was distrac-”

A pair of concerned blue eyes stared him and Alec immediately recognized the girl.

“You are Magnus’ best friend!” Alec exclaimed – half relieved that he found his way to Magnus and half relieved he didn’t have to make an announcement on the microphone like some sort of high school dork.

“I usually go by Catarina,” the girl teased. “But yes, I am Magnus’ best friend and emotional coach.”

“Do you know where he is?”

“He is probably in class.”

“He is not,” Alec said worriedly. “I haven’t seen him all morning.”

Catarina was immediately concerned. Magnus was not easy to miss – with his colorful clothes and cheerful personality. The girl took out her phone and called him – or at least Alec assumed she was calling him. It would be weird for her to call someone else in the middle of this conversation.

“He is not picking up,” Catarina said with a frown.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve been calling and texting since morning,” Alec fretted.

“He hasn't answered _your_ calls???” Catarina’s eyebrow shot up in surprise.

It was bit of an overreaction and Alec didn’t know why she seemed so surprise.

“This is bad,” Catarina muttered to herself just as her phone rang.

“Is it Magnus?” Alec asked hopefully, clutching his backpack for emotional support.

She shook her head as she answered the call. “Raph?”

She listened to the other boy patiently. A relieved smile appeared on her face, but it only lasted a couple of seconds.

“Okay, I’ll meet you there,” she said and looked at Alec. "Raphael wants to talk about Magnus."

Something told him that this was not a weekly gossip session or fan club – although those did very much exist since Magnus was the most popular kid in school.

“I am coming with you,” Alec replied as he waited for her to direct him.

“Alec, I don’t think it is-”

“I am coming with you,” Alec said more forcefully and Catarina sighed.

“He sure knows how to pick them,” Catarina muttered to herself and walked towards staircase. “Follow me.”

They walked outside and passed the football field towards the abandoned building which used to be the old cafeteria. No one really visited that place – probably because there was a rumor that it was haunted by the lunch lady who apparently died in the building.

“Psst,” Alec pulled Catarina’s sleeve quietly. “This is not a trap, right?”

Catarina only laughed. Alec didn’t know what to make of that. As they reached the building, the girl just kept walking – her platinum blonde hair bobbing around her shoulders. Alec stood outside the entrance and gulped.

Even Jace - who was never afraid of anything (other than poultry) - did not dare to enter the abandoned cafeteria. Alec wanted to drop his books and run away but he thought of Magnus and kept walking forward.

He closed his eyes and expected to be assaulted by a swarm of bats and creepy old laughter. But in actuality, he was assaulted by disco lights and…was that jazz music in the background?

The interior of the old building was not what he had expected at all. There were no cobwebs or bats – and definitely no ghosts. Instead the space was decorated by streamers, posters and lovely music. There were a couple of kids in a corner sitting on one of the retro cafeteria tables…and studying?

One boy, wearing a fedora over his long dreadlocks, was playing a guitar and an Asian girl with hot pink highlights – who he was sure was a senior like him – was dancing along. Alec wondered if he had somehow stepped into an alternate dimension when a thunderous voice brought him back to reality.

“WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE???”

Alec turned around to see Raphael Santiago glaring at him.

“He is with me,” Catarina spoke quickly. “He is worried about Magnus.”

Raphael’s angry expression turned into a worried one immediately.

“About that,” Raphael said quietly, as he walked towards Catarina. “I saw him.”

“You did???” Alec echoed, breathing a fresh air of relief.

“Cat,” he bit his lip, clearly ignoring Alec and his question. “He was not wearing eyeliner.”

Catarina gasped softly and clutched her text books to her chest. Alec wondered if she overreacted to every statement. But something in her eyes told him that this was not an overreaction but genuine worry. It was the same look Alec gave whenever Izzy informed him that Jace had gotten into trouble.

“Are sure?” Catarina whispered.

“Yes,” Raphael nodded, with an air of worry that did not suit his young face. “He didn’t really talk to me but I saw his face. He wasn’t wearing eyeliner. I am sure.”

“Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?” Alec inquired, not being able to stay quiet any longer. Raphael only glared.

“Magnus always wears eyeliner to school,” Catarina told him gently. “Every single day.”

Alec knew this.

Magnus didn’t have to wear eyeliner or any other make up because he looked beautiful without effort. Of course Alec has ever really seen Magnus without makeup, but it was something he just knew.

“So what?” Alec asked incredulously. “Maybe he ran out of eyeliner?”

“Yeah right,” Raphael rolled his eyes. “He has five backups. You’ve clearly never been to his bedroom.”

No he hasn’t but Magnus has been to his! Alec wanted to say this to the other boy but realized now was neither the time nor place to make such bold confessions.

“Alec,” Catarina sighed, rubbing her forehead tiredly. “Eyeliner is not just make up for Magnus. It is his armour.”

“Oh,” Alec said lamely.

“Oh is right” Raphael imitated his reaction. “What did you do?”

“Me?” Alec gaped. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Raphael!” Catarina admonished the younger boy. “Something must have happened.”

Alec, still feeling confused and left out, looked at them helplessly. “Why would you assume that something is wrong? I understand that make up is important to hi-”

“No, you don’t understand,” Raphael said, his voice suddenly frustrated. “Magnus always wears eyeliner. Always.”

“The only time he doesn’t wear eyeliner is when we watch animated movies together,” Catarina said, a small smile appearing on her lips. “They always make him cry.”

So what? Did Magnus watch Finding Nemo before coming to school today?

“It means he has been crying!” Raphael explained exasperatedly.

“He doesn’t wear eyeliner when is trying to hide that he is hurting,” Catarina told him and Alec’s heart broke.

He thought of Magnus – confident and collected. He thought of Magnus who would probably walk into the abandoned cafeteria with zero fears. It was difficult to imagine him crying – or being vulnerable in any way.

He couldn’t imagine some so strong be-

It was then he suddenly remembered what Magnus had told him that night in his bedroom.

_It is the strongest who suffer the most because they believe they cannot afford to be weak._

At the time, Alec had assumed that Magnus had been talking about Jace. But now he wondered whether Magnus was actually referring to himself.

The thought of Magnus in pain made Alec feel unsteady. It was a feeling he had only ever felt for his family. He didn’t know why Magnus was sad and what had happened. All he knew was that he had to fix it.

But he didn’t know how to do that!!

When his mom was sad, Alec would read to her. She never really listened or understood the story, but still liked it all the same.

“I just want to listen to your voice, sweety,” she would say, pushing his hair back as always. “It always makes me feel better.”

When Jace was sad, Alec would make him avocado toast or shakes or salad. Jace would still sulk around of course, but at least he wouldn’t do it in an empty stomach.

When Izzy was sad, Alec would let her arrange his wardrobe. There was nothing much to arrange but Izzy always seemed happy to do it so he would let her. If organizing his sock drawer cheers her up, then so be it.

When Max used to be sad, back when they lived in the same house, they would watch anime together. Alec didn’t really understand the plot, but it made his little brother feel better so he didn’t mind at all.

But with Magnus…The problem was with Magnus, he didn’t know what to do.

He knew Magnus wouldn’t want to listen to a stupid book or eat guacamole or fold his holey sweaters or watch Naruto.

He just didn’t know what to do.

And for a Hufflepuff like Alec – this was a conundrum.

“I need to find him,” Alec told the other two.

He might not know what to do but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.

“Alec, no,” Catarina said sternly.

“But we need to do something,” Alec ran his hand through his hair exasperatedly.

“You think we don’t know that?” Catarina asked. “But this is Magnus. He doesn’t like people fixing his problems.”

“Then what are we supposed to do?” Alec asked, feeling completely useless.

“We give him space,” Catarina said softly.

“I-I don’t know how to do that,” Alec confessed.

He was so used to helping people and taking care of them that he was physically incapable of leaving someone alone when they were in pain.

“Well, it’s simple really,” Raphael finally interjected. “You stay the hell away from him.”

Alec wanted to say that he couldn’t and that he didn’t want to. But he took a deep breath and nodded. These were Magnus’ closest friends. They knew him better than Alec – it wasn’t an easy pill to swallow but it had to be done.

“Alright, okay,” Alec agreed reluctantly. “But can we at least check up on him?”

“That we can do,” Catarina smiled and walked toward the building exit but not before turning back, looking squarely at her friend. “Raphael, don’t you have to go to class?”

Raphael groaned and picked up his backpack. Alec took one last look around at the abandoned cafeteria that was not so abandoned anymore. The girl with the pink highlights waved at him and he didn’t know what to do other than wave back.

“If you tell anyone about this place, you will be Darlene’s new best friend,” Raphael warned him in a quiet voice.

“Who is Darlene?”

“Just the old lunch lady who used to work here,” Raphael grinned and ran to catch up with Catarina.

Alec’s eyes widened and he quickly ran towards the exit too. By the time he found Catarina, Raphael was gone. They were walking quietly – Alec didn’t know where to but he hoped Catarina did.

“So, what was that place?” Alec asked, half curious and half awkward. “I thought that building was abandoned.”

“It was until last year,” Catarina informed. “It’s sort of a safe space for…well, kids who get bullied.”

Alec raised an eyebrow and Catarina sighed.

“I know we have a zero tolerance policy and whatever, but that doesn’t really stop people from acting like jerks,” Catarina said and Alec immediately thought of Sebastian. “We used to go to the library or the grounds or the cafeteria when we have a free period. But sometimes those places can get too much too. So, this is a place for rejects of all sorts - A place where you can be yourself without having to pretend or be afraid. You know how high school can get to you sometimes - with the love triangles and the college applications and the parent drama. So, when things get too much, we would come here and hang out.”

“Does Magnus know about this?” Alec asked.

“Magnus started it,” Catarina smiled.

Alec blinked at the girl. “But Magnus…Why would he ne- He doesn’t get bullied.”

“You don’t have to get bullied to know it sucks, Alec,” the girl said. “Magnus might be a popular kid in school. But he is bi. He is Asian. He knows what it feels like to be an outsider.”

Alec suddenly wanted to find Magnus and hug him. He wanted to thank him and tell him that he loved him.

“Does the school know?” Alec asked instead.

“Mr. Garroway does,” Catarina informed with a grin. “It’s kinda hard to do anything without his knowledge.”

“Oh,” Alec said in genuine surprise. “I always thought this place was haunted.”

“Yeah, Raphael started that rumor,” Catarina shook her head fondly. “He wanted to make sure the students here wouldn’t be bothered.”

He suddenly felt a pang of warmth for the grumpy boy who may or may not have threatened to kill him five minutes ago.

“So, the abandoned cafeteria is really a safe space?”

“It’s called Hotel Dumort,” Catarina corrected him.

“Hotel of the de-”

“The dead, yes,” Catarina chuckled to herself. “Magnus indulged Raphael with the whole ghost story. He thought it would be funny because anyone who came near the building heard our noises and assumed it was haunted."

Alec smiled to himself. Only Magnus could create something so cool and then named it something so dorky.

“Where are we going?” Alec asked as they kept walking.

“Chemistry lab,” she smiled. “When in doubt, always head to the chemistry lab.”

Alec made a quick mental note that Magnus liked to hang out in the lab as much Alec liked to be in the library. He wished there was a space they could both hang out and be happy together.

Once they made their way to the lab, Catarina tiptoed and peered through the door. She sighed and whispered at him. “He is there. I can see him.”

Alec did not have to tip toe like the girl so he just leaned forward to see Magnus. The wave of relief that hit him was like nothing else. He didn’t realize that he had been holding his breath until he exhaled heavily in relief.

He couldn’t really see Magnus’s face properly, just his tall, lean frame. But he didn’t have to see the face to know that it was Magnus. He would recognize him anywhere.

Magnus was wearing a white lab coat and goggles, his face focused on the beaker in front of him. He looked like he was in his element. But there was also certain falseness in his appearance. He looked like someone who didn’t want to be there. He looked like someone who was trying really hard to focus. He looked like someone who was doing everything he can to keep it together.

Of course not everyone would be able to recognize this look.

But Alec, who often used the fictional worlds inside books to escape his reality, he knew. He knew exactly what that look meant.

“Something’s not right,” Alec muttered – to himself and to the girl.

“Look, Alec,” Catarina sighed tiredly. “I know. But he needs to be alone right now.”

“But I want to-”

“It’s not about you want,” Catarina replied seriously. “It’s about what he needs and he needs to be alone right now.”

Alec only had to take one look at the expression on her face to know that he was not going to win.

“I will stand outside this door all day to make sure you don’t bother him,” Catarina informed him.

“Don’t you have class?”

“Magnus is more important,” she replied simply and Alec felt a sudden rush of affection towards her.

“I don’t want to bother him,” Alec told her quietly. “I just want him to be okay.”

Catarina’s small face broke into a huge grin and she exclaimed, “Finally!”

“Finally what?”

“Finally nothing,” she replied. Magnus’ friends were as cryptic as the boy himself. “Off you go.”

Alec smiled and nodded at her. “Okay. Thank you for helping me.”

She nodded back and waved. He took one last look through the door to see Magnus scribbling something in his notebook.

 _I hope you are okay_ , Alec thought and walked off to his next class.

After every single class, Alec came back to check up on Magnus - who was still in the lab, working on god knows what. Alec would sigh and then quickly walk to his next lesson. He ran into Catarina a couple of times outside the lab – who was probably also there to check up on Magnus - and walked even quickly. He did not want to get on her bad side.

When the final bell rang, Alec walked over to the lab again so he can maybe talk to Magnus and walk him home or whatever. But unlike the other students who hung back their coats and left the room, Magnus stayed put, still working. 

Alec scratched his head and wondered what to do.

“Just let him be,” a deep voice said from behind and Alec jumped.

Mr. Fell was standing in his usual tweed jacket and grumpy expression. But when he peered at Magnus through the door, something in his face softened.

“Let him be,” he said again and walked away.

Alec knew that Magnus was close with his calculus teacher, but something in the way Mr. Fell had talked to him made him think that the older man knew Magnus better than many. Not knowing what else to do, Alec shrugged and walked away. He quickly texted his siblings he had to stay back for extra credit lessons. They bought his lie without question since it was something Alec usually stayed back for every now and then.

He went to his literature class and sat down in his usual place. He took out his copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray. His fingers immediately skimmed through the final pages to find the last line.

_“It was not till they had examined the rings that they recognized who it was.”_

He wondered what Magnus would make of this line. Alec knew what the cryptic line meant of course. But for someone who hasn’t read the book, they wouldn’t be able to guess. And yet, Magnus always ran towards the last line. Alec chuckled fondly to himself at the other boy’s antics and flipped over to the bookmarked page.

Alec tried to read, he really did, but he couldn’t. It was an odd feeling because books are usually his coping mechanism. When things got too difficult and distracting, Alec would run away and hide himself between the pages of a book.

Never had he ever found a book to be difficult. Even when he was reading Twilight last week, he had been able to disappear into the bizarre town of Forks, Washington. He had never been distracting while reading a book either. But today, it was as if nothing worked. Poor Dorian Gray was being all mysterious and melancholic, but Alec honestly couldn’t care less.

He soft gasped at his own indifference and felt slightly terrified of the effect Magnus had on him. Another hour had past and evening was dawning upon him. He decided to go and check up on Magnus again when someone walked into the class.

“Oh, Alec!” the surprised blue eyes said. “Did we schedule an extra credit class for today? I wasn’t aware that w-”

“No, no,” Alec said quickly. “I was just…hanging out.”

“Oh,” Mr. Herondale replied, probably realizing how lame Alec sounded. “Is everything alright?”

His teacher walked into the class and settled behind his desk.

“Everything is okay,” Alec lied. “How was Boston?”

“Busy,” he grinned and went through the drawers. “I left some of my papers here. I was hoping to grade some of them tonight.”

Alec nodded and focused back on his book. Mr. Herondale, who had gathered up a bunch of exam papers walked toward him.

He had always felt peaceful and collected in his literature class. For a time, he had thought that maybe this could be his spot.

Mr. Herondale and the other students always made Alec feel safe. He had always been more than happy to learn more about his favorite characters.

But he didn’t feel comfortable - because he never felt like he could be himself.

When they would discuss LGBT themes or make jokes about the homoerotic subtexts in classical literature, Alec would become uncomfortable. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk about it. He really did – he had so much that he wanted to say about the works of Virginia Wolf and Edgar Allen Poe and so many others. But he worried that making such comments, especially ones that were passionate and heartfelt, would make other people realize something.

He was worried that they would look at him and ask “And how _do_ you know that? Are you gay?”

So even though he was safe and happy in his literature class – he wasn’t comfortable.

“Mr. Herondale?” Alec said randomly. “Do you…Do have a spot that you like?”

“Pardon?” the teacher blinked.

“A spot,” Alec explained. “A place where you feel safe, happy and comfortable – all at the same time.”

“Hmmm,” Mr. Herondale hummed and then smiled. “I am quite fond of the Idris library. There is someone, uh, I mean something there that makes me feel safe, comfortable and happy.”

Alec hummed back and tried to focus on his book.

“Are you sure everything is alright?” the older man inquired, his tone worried. His confusion was understandable since Alec usually was not the one to ask random or odd questions.

“I-I am okay,” Alec said again and paused. “It’s someone I know. A…friend. I think they are hurt and I don’t know how to help them.”

“Oh,” his teacher said again, seating himself in front of Alec. “I am sorry.”

“I just wish I knew what to do,” Alec confessed, mostly to The Picture of Dorian Gray in his hands.

“Sometimes there is nothing we can do, Alec,” Mr. Herondale said gently. “It’s important you learn that now. I know it feels horrible, trust me I do. I know what it feels like to be helpless when your loved one is suffering. But sometimes there is nothing you can do to make it better.”

“So I just stand and watch?” Alec asked, not feeling any better.

“You stand next to them,” he smiled. “You be with them. You might not be able to carry their pain for them, but you can make it easier for them to carry it on their own. So, be with your friend.”

“How will that help them?” Alec asked confused. “I am not helping them.”

“It might not feel that way for you but they will know the difference,” Mr. Herondale answered with a smile.

Alec thought of his siblings – who were the epitome of solidarity. When their mother asks Alec about girlfriends or dating, he would come up with a lie or an excuse, hiding the pain behind his awkwardness. Later, he would go to his room and sit next to the bed and stare out of the window at the starry sky.

Not a few minutes later, Jace and Izzy would walk into his room – every single time. They wouldn’t say anything to him – just sit down next to him in solidarity. And they would all stare at the sky together. That simple gesture – that his siblings were always there even when he felt so utterly alone - meant more to him than any kind word they could say.

Alec nodded at his teacher in understanding and smiled.

No one said anything for a minute and then the words tumbled out of nowhere.

“I am gay.”

A large wave of dread rose in his chest and was about to crash when Mr. Herondale chuckled softly. The waves stopped midway and Alec blinked.

“Yeah, I may have figured it out,” his teacher told him.

What? How? When?

Alec thought he was being subtle but was he giving it away? Was it his clothes? No, that couldn’t be it! Maybe it was the way he combed his hair? Shit, was he staring at Magnus way too much? Are people starting to notice??? Did his mom know about this??????

Alec never really bothered about hiding his sexuality partly because he didn’t really know how to express it and partly because no one noticed him anyway. Alec could walk through the hallway in a rainbow shirt and a feather boa and people still wouldn’t get it.

He wasn’t complaining or anything – Alec actually considered this to be a blessing.

“How…How did you...?” Alec asked awkwardly, his fingers pulling at his sweater nervously.

Mr. Herondale chuckled and pointed at his book. “Heterosexuals don’t get Oscar Wilde”

An involuntary laugh escaped Alec’s mouth and two of them just kept laughing. When they stopped Mr. Herondale look at him with a happy smile and said, “Your friend is going to be just fine.”

The way he said it…It made Alec actually believe it. “How do you know?”

“Life has a way of working out when we are surrounded by good people,” the older man answered. “You are good people, Alec.”

Alec hoped that was true. 

“See you tomorrow morning,” the man patted Alec on the shoulder and walked out of the class with his stack of papers.

Once again Alec was there all alone in his literature class – the words of Oscar Wide staring at him.

And then it hit him.

“Holy shit!” Alec swore and started laughing on his own. “Holy shit! I just came out to someone!”

When the laughter and the giddiness and the pleasant surprise subsided, Alec picked up his backpack and walked to the chemistry lab to check on Magnus again. He noticed there was lightness in his heart and cheerfulness in his steps than before.

If this was how we felt after coming out to one person, Alec wondered how it would feel to come out to everyone. Most importantly, he wondered how he would feel after he came out to his mother.

He peered through the door but the lab seemed empty. Despite Catarina’s advice, Alec pushed the door but only find that it was locked. Magnus had left within that hour and Alec felt like an idiot. Maybe he should have stayed outside the lab instead. Alec was contemplating if he should go by Magnus’ home when his phone pinged.

_**Can we talk?** _

It took less than 5 seconds for Alec to respond.

**Yes. Where are you?**

**_School._ **

**Me too. Tell me where you are. I’ll come.**

Magnus texted the location and Alec had to do a double take. As odd as it was, Alec didn’t care. He ran towards the parking lot without wasting another second.

As soon as he was there, his eyes scanned the bright yellow buses until he found the one he was looking for. The door was closed but not fully. Alec gingerly opened it and stepped inside the school bus.

“Magnus?”

“Here,” the voice said from right at the back and Alec slowly walked up to him. Magnus was wearing a black and red sweater that said _Bubble Trouble ’87_ , his hair was not styled and his face was free of any and all makeup.

Alec had to grab on to one of the seats for support because never before had he seen something so overwhelmingly beautiful.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked softly and Magnus shook his head.

“What can I do?” Alec asked wanting to know.

Magnus stayed quiet and stared out of the window. Alec sat down next to him, the other boy’s body felt cold despite the sweater.

“Magnus, what can I do?” Alec asked again.

“There is nothing you can do,” Magnus answered, still looking out the window. “Sometimes moors are just moors, remember?”

Alec did understand that there are things in life that you can’t fix. But while it was easy to understand harsh truths, accepting them was a whole other struggle.

They sat there in silence for a while before Alec asked, “What’s Bubble Trouble?”

Magnus looked down at his sweater, which looked more ancient than anything Alec owned. But while Alec probably looked like a medieval peasant in his sweaters, Magnus somehow pulled it off. Izzy would have called this look ‘retro chic’ or something like that.

‘It used be a chemistry club at Idris,” Magnus answered after a while.

Even though Alec was not really part of any of the clubs and societies in Idris, he knew about them all. He had never heard of a chemistry club – let alone one that was named Bubble Trouble. Then it suddenly hit him that Magnus had used past tense. That coupled with the fact that the sweater literally said ’87, Alec realized that the sweater did not belong to Magnus.

Maybe Magnus heard Alec thinking really hard or maybe Magnus just wanted to get this over with so he can go back to brooding handsomely on a school bus because after a while he breathed out tiredly and said, “My mom founded it - along with Professor Fell.”

“Oh,” Alec said, genuinely surprised.

There was a small smile on Magnus’ lips – anyone else would have missed it since it was barely even there. But Alec saw it. Alec felt it. “Only she could create something so cool and then call it something so dorky.”

Alec chuckled at that. “Yeah, it is completely different from creating a safe space for students and then calling it Hotel Dumort.”

Magnus turned to look at him then, looking surprised. “How did you find out?”

“Catarina,” Alec said in the way of explanation. “I was looking for you all over school and then she took me there.”

“Weren’t you afraid?”

“No.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow.

“Okay I was a little afraid,” Alec admitted. “But I wanted to find you. I wasn’t going to stop until I found you.”

“Raphael is going to kill you,” Magnus informed him as if it was a fact.

“Meh,” Alec shrugged. “At least the rumors will finally have some credibility.”

“Is that why you waited after school?” Magnus asked. “Because you were looking for me?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Alec replied.

Magnus turned towards the window again. “I am okay, Alec.”

It was Alec’s turn to raise an eyebrow.

“I know I am not okay today,” Magnus continued. “But I’ll be okay tomorrow. I promise.”

“What’s wrong with today?” Alec asked, ready to kick the ass of whoever made Magnus sad.

Magnus was quite for a while. A really long while. Alec waited.

“It’s the day my mom died,” he finally said, his voice barely audible. “She died today – five years ago.”

Oh.

“Told you there is nothing you can do,” Magnus said. “Moors are just moors.”

Stupid fucking moors.

He remembered what Mr. Herondale had told him a little earlier and reached out to hold Magnus’ hand. He clasped the boy’s fingers in his, hoping it would somehow convey all his love and support.

“Tell me about her,” Alec requested gently. “What was she like?”

“She was…She was number 08,” Magnus breathed out with that small smile again. “She was Oxygen.”

Alec felt like Magnus was in his own world and decided to let him be there for a while.

“She would help anyone and everyone she met – even if she didn’t know them and even if it didn’t benefit her. When she is there, you feel like everything is going to be okay – like you can breathe. She was pure, beautiful and kind. I’ve never met anyone like her.”

 _I have_ , Alec wanted to say. But he stayed quiet.

“She died in an accident when I was in middle school,” Magnus said and Alec’s tightened his grip and gently squeezed Magnus’s hand.

“I am sorry,” Alec said – even though it really didn’t make a difference.

"She used to teach here, when I was really young. It was before she moved on to focus on her research. I would come with her to school and watch her work in the lab for hours. I spent the whole goddamn day there today hoping to relive those memories. But no matter how hard I tried, it's hard to remember."

Alec said nothing. But he held on to Magnus' hand.

“I know it was a long time ago and I have moved on,” Magnus said, his voice straining. “But sometimes I just miss her so much – especially today. We came to school in this bus together that day. She had a meeting with Mr. Fell. We sat right here. She was telling me about the symposium in Caltech and how amazing it was going to be. She was really excited to go there. I never got to ask her how it went because she never came back.”

“Magnus, I-”

“No,” Magnus said firmly. “I am okay. I promise.”

“Then why were you ignoring me today?” Alec asked, biting his lip. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Of course not,” Magnus replied immediately. “It’s just…It is hard to be myself all the time. I wish I could just be a sad, emo kid whose mom died in an accident. But that’s not me. My mom taught me to enjoy life and everything that comes with it. So, I try to be myself. So, I be myself every single day – except for today.”

Alec scooted closer to Magnus.

“Today I don’t want to be Magnus Bane – The popular kid,” the boy confessed. “I don’t want to be the president of the drama club or best dressed student or homecoming king or whatever.”

 _You don't have to be_ , Alec wanted to say. 

“I want to be the kid who lost his mom too soon,” he whispered. “Just for today.”

“Okay then,” Alec whispered back after a minute. “Let’s be sad, emo kids together. Just for today.”

Magnus finally turned to face him and squeezed his hand back. He rested his head on Alec’s shoulder and they stayed like that for a while. Alec didn’t want to move or breathe or talk or do anything. He just wanted to stay like this forever.

“Why are you sad?” Magnus asked randomly, tilting his head up slightly.

“Because I am gay,” Alec replied.

Goddamnit! What was up with him today? At this rate, he might as well run home and come out to his mom. Izzy had been right, once he came out to one person, the words rolled off his tongue so easily.

Magnus didn’t move and Alec was glad. But his hand found its way towards Alec’s and held it tightly.

He expected the other boy to be surprised at least - but he didn't seem to be at all. Maybe he had somehow figured it too or maybe he was just tired.

“Why does that make you sad?” Magnus asked instead. “Do you wish you were straight?”

“God, no!” Alec exclaimed with such disgust that it almost got a laugh out of Magnus.

“There is nothing wrong with being gay, Alexander,” Magnus said softly, his head still resting on Alec's shoulder.

“I never believed there was something wrong with me,” Alec replied, staring straight ahead at the sun. “I just worried that others might.”

“Then what are _you_ worried about?”

“Mom.”

Magnus lifted his head and look at him then. “Do you...You think she’ll hate you?”

“No,” Alec said immediately. “My mom isn’t like that.”

Magnus waited patiently until Alec found the words – and the courage to admit his biggest fear.

“I am not worried she’ll hate me,” Alec admitted softly. “I am worried she’d stop loving me. There is a difference.”

Magnus took hold of his hand this time and squeezed it gently. 

“I am just…What if she starts seeing me differently? I am worried that if I come out to her, she’ll look at me and see someone she doesn’t recognize. She’ll look at me and just see a boy who is gay. I don’t want that. I want her to look at me and…only see me.”

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered, holding his face in his hands. “I see you.”

A tear escaped Alec’s eye and he rested his forehead against Magnus’ – breathing in the familiar scene of sandalwood.

“What…What if,” Alec stammered against Magnus’ face. “What if she stops calling me sweety?”

Magnus pulled back and stared at him. “Sweety?”

“Max is baby, Jace is honey, Isabelle is darling and I’m sweety.”

Alec doesn’t remember when exactly it started, but it had always been that way. Regardless of whether she was happy, sad, angry or exasperated – she always called him sweety.

He was so used to being her sweety; he didn’t know how to be anything other than that. he didn't know if he could be.

So what if she stops?

And there it was. His biggest fear.

It wasn’t about a stupid pet name. It was about being that boy his mother had always cherished more than anything. What would happen when she finds out that he was not who she thought he was? What would she do when she realizes that he had been lying about himself? What if she starts treating him differently?

She will always love him, he knew that. But what if she loves him less or worse – what if she finds it difficult to love him?

What if she starts calling him ‘Alec’ instead of sweety?

What if she doesn’t recognize him?

What is the point of coming out if they can’t see you?

“I don’t think she’ll stop,” Magnus said with certainty.

“You don’t even know her,” Alec pointed out.

“No,” Magnus agreed. “But I know you.”

Alec smiled and rested his head against Magnus’s shoulder.

“And I know it is not the same,” Magnus said gently, his breath on Alec’s head. “But I can call you sweety if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yes, sweety,” Magnus said.

There was a moment of silence and they bought started giggling uncontrollably.

“It sounds so weird,” Alec said in between the giggles.

“Yeah, let’s not do that,” Magnus laughed and rested his head against Alec’s.

Everything was quiet again and they both stared at the sun through the window - their heads resting against each other and hands clutched together.

“I would die for a pet name,” Magnus said after a while. “I don’t get called anything other than Magnus.”

“What about your dad?” Alec asked, still staring ahead.

“He is the worst at it,” Magnus laughed quietly. “He sometimes calls me baby panda.”

“That sounds cute,” Alec pointed out.

“Don’t enable him,” Magnus chastised.

“How about your mom?” Alec asked softly.

“She just called me Magnus,” the boy said, his absently rubbing his thumb over Alec’s palm. “She was the one who named me – after the element Magnesium.”

“Why Magnesium?” Alec asked, mostly because he wasn’t good at chemistry.

“Magnesium burns brightly,” Magnus explained. “That’s why it’s used to make fireworks.”

Alec smiled at that. He couldn’t think of a more suitable name for the boy next to him.

If Alec was Thanksgiving – with his warmth and solace, Magnus was Fourth of July – with his joy and brightness.

“What happened to the club?” Alec asked suddenly. “The one she started?”

“Mom started it when she was in high school then she became the teacher in-charge when she used to teach here,” Magnus explained. “It kind of died after she…after she passed away. I tried to restart it with Mr. Fell but we don’t have a lot of kids who are interested in chemistry and it didn’t work out. I feel like I failed her.”

Alec lifted his head to look up at Magnus.

“Magnus, that was her legacy, not yours,” he said gently. “You have Hotel Dumort and so many other things you created.”

“But it’s not the sa-”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Alec interrupted him softly. “You both created spaces where people can be themselves and be happy. I think that’s what matters.”

Magnus stared at him, his lips parted and eyes wide. Alec wanted nothing more than to hold that face and kiss it until they both ran out of air.

“I think she’d be very proud of everything you’ve accomplished,” Alec said instead.

Tears started streaming down Magnus’s face and the other boy quickly wiped them away with the sleeves of his sweater.

“Thank god I am not wearing eyeliner,” Magnus chuckled nervously.

Alec thought of Magnus with his eyeliner – stripes of black, blue, red and gold. He thought of Magnus in his armor and realized how difficult it must be for the other boy to be without it.

Alec always carried his books with him because they made him feel safe. So, if eyeliner made Magnus feel safe, he should be able to wear it all the time. He shouldn’t have to sacrifice it - especially when he was in pain. You are supposed to wear your armour when you feel weak - not put it away.

“I miss the eyeliner,” Alec said, the words slipping out before he could hold them back.

Magnus stared at him for a second and then quickly looked away. “I am sorry you had to see me like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like this,” Magnus gestured at himself, although still looking away. “Without makeup an-God, I must look like a mess.”

“I think you look beautiful.”

The words left his mouth – just like they had in Mr. Herondale’s class. But this time, Alec wasn’t worried or embarrassed or regretful.

He was glad he finally go to say it – because it was the first thought that came to his mind every time he looked at Magnus.

It didn’t matter what the other boy looked like or what he was wearing or what he was doing. The very first thing that came to Alec’s head he looked at Magnus’ face was _‘God, you are beautiful'_.

Every single time.

“You think I am beautiful?” Magnus asked, turning around suddenly, looking at Alec.

When Alec had been questioning his sexuality, he remembered looking at all boys and men around him. He had tried to convince himself there was nothing wrong with appreciating the attractiveness of another boy. But with time he realized that he wasn’t appreciating, he was thirsting – really hard.

Straight people probably didn't blush every time Alastair Carstairs, their football coach, smiled at them. After a while, it wasn’t hard to convince himself of his sexuality because Idris High had a lot of good looking people. 

He thought of Jace, with golden hair and amber eyes – who so handsome that he was coveted by everyone.

He thought of Raphael, with his soft lips and dark eyes – who was so cute that Alec had crushed hard on him in junior high.

He thought of Mark – with his broad shoulders and chiseled stomach – who was so hot that he literally dated two people at the same time.

Every time Alec looked at a boy, he would think ‘He is so handsome’ or ‘He is so hot’ or ‘He is so cute’ or ‘He is so muscular’.

But never in his life had he looked at the boy and thought ‘He is so beautiful’ – because boys were not supposed to be beautiful. They were supposed to be handsome and manly.

He still remembered the first time he had ever really looked at Magnus.

Of course Magnus had been cute, hot and handsome and muscular. But he had been something more.

The other boy had been wearing a green shirt with a black silk vest on top. His hair was styled, with green highlights in between. He had been wearing black eyeliner at the time, with a sprinkle of green glitter around his cheeks.

Alec remembered looking at him and thinking he was magic.

Alec remembered looking at him and thinking he was beautiful.

He looked at Magnus now – His face bare, his cheeks pink and his eyes wet.

He looked magical and he looked beautiful.

“Magnus,” Alec whispered, gently taking his face in his hands. “I didn’t know it was possible to call a boy beautiful until I saw you.”

A slow grin spread across the other boy’s face and Alec witness beauty being born. Magnus bumped his forehead against his and moved a hand slowly to Alec’s neck.

“We are going to be okay, Alexander,” Magnus breathed softly. "You and I - We are going to be okay."

And for some reason, Alec really believed that.

So he grinned against Magnus’ face. “Okay, baby panda.”

Magnus pinched his arm and Alec yelled but then laughed. Magnus settled back into his shoulder and they stared at the sun again. The sun was starting to set – as if it realized they were okay and decided to bid farewell.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Magnus asked quietly.

Alec looked around at the empty school bus – the leather seats, the yellow paint and the graffiti on the walls.

Then he saw Magnus on his shoulder, his eyes closed and lips smiling.

In that moment, Alec felt happy, safe and comfortable.

“Nah,” Alec replied, resting his head against Magnus’. “I think I found my spot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> Fun fact: Baby pandas are amazingly small. Each cub weighs only about 3 ½ ounces (100 grams) at birth. No other mammal gives birth to a baby so much smaller than the adult of its species.


	8. English

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alexander, this kind of pessimism is not good for Operation Clace,” Magnus complained.
> 
> “I am just being realistic here,” the boy raised his hands in defense. “Are sure she will like it?”
> 
> “Of course she will,” Magnus said with confidence. “Leaving letters and gifts in someone’s locker is hella romantic.”
> 
> “Forging letters and breaking into lockers is hella illegal,” Alec teased with a tiny grin on his lips.
> 
> Romantic Poems, Secret flaws, Surprising lockers and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, homies! 
> 
> But this chapter is hella fluffy *wink* (You'll get it!)
> 
> Happy reading :)

Magnus was sitting on one of those little tables in the school yard. He was immersed in watching a slow motion video on YouTube about chemicals reacting to each other. It was one of those oddly fascinating things that one simply could not look away from.

The slow and careful mixture of the particles was absolutely mesmerizing to watch.

Alec had sent him the video earlier today with a simple text that had said, _**thought you might enjoy this :)**_

He didn’t know whether Alec accidentally came across the video or actually searched around YouTube just to find something for Magnus. He imagined Alec, biting his lip, frowning at the screen, and looking for something that would Magnus make smile.

Yeah that seemed highly unlikely.

Why would Alec want to make him smile? Why would Alec look for chemistry videos online? There was no logical explanation.

He could have come across it accidentally when he was looking for some other chemistry related video….but he didn’t do chemistry!

What if he actually found it for Magnus?

Everyone sends random videos to their friends to make them smile, right? There was nothing to think about here. Magnus was probably just reaching as always.

“Hello,” the soft voice said and Magnus’ lips automatically curved when his ears recognized the owner.

“Hello,” Magnus greeted back and gestured at Alec to sit down on the opposite bench. The other boy, clad in a white sweater and jeans sat down and dropped his bag on the small wooden table in front of them.

Magnus had seen Alec a couple of times since last week….since their little chat in the school bus. Magnus had thought that things might get awkward between them what with Magnus crying about his mother and Alec coming out…But the two of them had only grown closer than before.

They hadn’t got to talk much in school thanks to all the teacher's trying to catch up with the syllabus. Also, as they had taken a break from their shenanigans last week, they didn't really have to plan anything for Operation Clace. They had mostly just been texting each other.

Alec had introduced Magnus to indie music, which Magnus had found soulful.

Magnus had introduced Alec to TikTok, which Alec had found confusing.

After a while, they had been sharing all sorts of lame things with each other from insanely ridiculous Buzzfeed quizzes to conspiracy theories on Wikipedia.

“I was just watching the video you sent me,” Magnus said, removing his air pods. “The slow motion one.”

“You like it?” Alec asked.

“I love it,” Magnus grinned. “It was so freaking cool!”

“I thought you might like it,” Alec replied, sounding pleased.

“How did you find it by the way?” Magnus inquired, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Did Isabelle show it to you or something?”

Alec blinked. “Oh yeah. Um, Izzy found it. Yes.”

“I thought so,” Magnus said, trying not to sound disappointed now. “It’s not like you look for it or anything, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Alec agreed, nodding vehemently. “How do I even find something like this on my own? Type 'cool chemistry experiment videos'? Haha.”

“Right,” Magnus tried to grin. “Cause that would be ridiculous.”

Alec coughed and pulled at his sweater sleeve. “Speaking of ridiculous things, what is your plan for Operation Clace today?”

“Oh, yes!” Magnus clapped his hands excitedly, remembering what they were actually meeting here for. “Now that we are back in business, I have an excellent plan for our two lovebirds.”

“Is that so?” Alec grinned.

“Hell yeah,” Magnus grinned back. “We are going to write a love letter from Jace to Clary.”

“Oh,” Alec said, sounding actually surprised.

“We will leave this super romantic letter “from Jace” inside Clary’s locker,” Magnus revealed the plan. “She will definitely run to him and gush about it. I can guarantee you that.”

“Hmmm,” Alec hummed skeptically. “What if she doesn’t....run to him and gush about it?”

“Alexander, this kind of pessimism is not good for Operation Clace,” Magnus complained.

“I am just being realistic here,” the boy raised his hands in defense. “Are you sure she will like it?”

“Of course she will,” Magnus said with confidence. “Leaving letters and gifts in someone’s locker is _hella_ romantic.”

“Forging letters and breaking into lockers is _hella_ illegal,” Alec teased with a tiny grin on his lips.

“First of all, we are not breaking into anything,” Magnus debated. “We are just going to slip the piece of paper into her locker.”

“What about the forging part?” Alec asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, that is just,” Magnus started and frowned. “It’s not a crime – technically.”

“What if we didn’t put his name?” Alec suggested. “We can make it anonymous.”

“But then it could be from anyone!” Magnus threw his hands in the air.

“Okay then we’ll sign it as J,” Alec offered. “She’ll know right?”

“Uh, I suppose so. But why can’t we-”

“Magnus, you know we can’t sign a letter like that,” Alec said more patiently. “What if someone else finds it by accident? You know how people gossip at Idris. If they start gossiping about this letter and make fun of them then Operation Clace will never work out.”

“Ugh, you are right,” Magnus groaned. “Okay, we’ll sign it as J. It’s not like there are a lot of guys with that initial here anyway.”

“True,” Alec grinned. “Alright then. Let’s do it.”

“What? You are suddenly okay with this?” Magnus gaped. “Then why did you act like we are trying to break into the White House?”

“Because you are cute when you are flustered,” Aec grinned again.

 _Do not blush_ , Magnus told himself but failed spectacularly.

They had a mission to execute. He was not going to freak out over the fact that Alec Lightwood – who was now a confirmed gay – called him cute.

They had to focus on Jace and Clary and t-

Okay fine, maybe he could take a couple of seconds to freak out.

Magnus did a mental cartwheel and gave Alec a tiny smile. After Alec had come out to him, Magnus had been extremely happy.

Mostly for Alec, because he was glad that the other boy felt safe and comfortable enough to do that – but he was also a little happy for himself too.

He finally had actual proof that Alec was into guys. But all the excitement had died when he realized that maybe Alec wasn’t into him.

Despite popular belief, just because you are gay, it doesn’t mean that you fall for every single guy.

So Magnus had started to look for signs and looks.

Of course, there had been the whole hand-holding, face-holding, head-resting-on-the-shoulder business when they had comforted each other in the school bus.

But they were both hurt and were looking for comfort. Anyone in that situation would have acted that way, right? Alec was just being supportive that evening. There was nothing romantic about it.

But calling someone cute, in broad daylight, that certainly counted at flirting.

….Unless they just meant it as a compliment.

Ugh, why was it so hard to know whether someone liked you or not? And why was it so hard to tell someone you liked them straight to their face?

No wonder Jace and Clary were acting like dumb idiots.

The mention of Jace and Clary brought Magnus back to reality. Alec was staring at Magnus, probably lost in thought, thinking about something else. Magnus waved his hand in front of him and the other boy flushed in embarrassment – probably because he zoned out in the middle of their conversation.

“So,” Alec said, tapping his fingers nervously on the wooden table. “How we are we going to write this letter? Do we get one off the internet?”

“Tsk tsk,” Magnus said. “Now that would be forgery, wouldn’t it?”

Alec just grinned and rolled his eyes.

“Also, it’s not exactly a letter. I was thinking more of a poem,” Magnus clarified.

“A poem?” Alec raised a brow.

“ _Hella_ romantic, isn’t it?” Magnus winked.

“Well, where are we going to get this _hella_ romantic poem?” Alec frowned and Magnus decided to seize the day.

“Well, I guess it’s our lucky day,” Magnus announced dramatically and took his notebook out from his backpack.

“You wrote a poem?” Alec asked, his whole face broke into a grin

Magnus was not a writer by nature – that was his father. Despite not having much experience or enthusiasm, he had written this one – for Alec.

Well, technically it was for Clary – and Jace – but he had been thinking of Alec the whole time. It was impossible not to think of Alec when he thought of love.

While he really did want Jace and Clary to end up together, this attempt was not entirely altruistic. He was hoping that Alec would look at the poem and maybe feel something himself.

The whole writing process had been…unusual.

Magnus was used to mixing chemicals together to create potions. He was used to fixing complicated sums. He was not used to putting one word after another to create meaning and emotion.

He had wondered how his father did it every day. He had even given the man a pat on the shoulder after dinner - which had left his poor father very confused.

The whole process had seemed unfamiliar to him.

But Magnus would do write a thousand more poems to see this look on Alec Lightwood’s face again.

“I wrote a _hella_ romantic poem,” Magnus corrected and pushed the notebook towards the other boy. “Go on. Try not to faint.”

Alec’s grin got even bigger as he opened the book and flipped through the pages.

He nervously watched the other boy’s reaction as his sapphire eyes focused on the page before him.

Magnus loved watching Alec read. There was something calming about it – the way Alec’s entire attention narrowed down to the pages in from him. It was as if nothing else mattered – or even existed – in that moment.

He couldn’t help but wonder if Alec Lightwood would ever love him as much as he loved his books.

“So what do you think?” Magnus asked, playing with the sleeves of his jacket.

Alec looked up from the book and stared at him for a second. Magnus thought Alec might shrug and say ‘meh’ or smile and say ‘nice’. But he had not expected what came next.

The blue-eyed boy started to laugh. Magnus has never seen him laugh this hard or so freely. For a moment he was not offended, but deeply mesmerized.

Alec always looked slightly burdened – as if he was carrying around something heavy and painful. Until last week, Magnus had not known that the other boy is indeed carrying something heavy and painful down a difficult path- A secret that burdened him every single day. He wished he could carry it for Alec.

But unfortunately, like his own grief, Alec’s secret was something that the other boy had to carry by himself. So, despite wanting to help, Magnus had decided to stand side. But it did not stop him from walking with Alec or from holding his hand or from making him smile.

Just because you couldn’t carry someone else’s burden for them, it didn’t mean that you couldn’t make their path somewhat easier.

So it was nice to see Alec laugh like this. It was almost as if Alec had finally realized that he could laugh and the universe wouldn’t be mad at him for doing it.

But then Magnus realized that the whole thing was happening at his expense and frowned at the other boy.

“What the hell, Alexander?” Magnus demanded, both offended and confused. “Why are you laughing at my _hella_ romantic poem?”

Alec only started to laugh harder at that – so much so that he lost his balance and fell back over the bench.

Magnus made a startled noise and rushed over to the other side to help him. But Alec was on the floor – still laughing!

Magnus picked up a stick from the floor and pointed it at Alec. “Stop laughing or I’m going to stab you with a stick.”

The words escaped him before he could realize the double entendre and Alec started giggling and clutching his stomach now.

“Alexander, stop!” Magnus whined and Alec finally sat up, his body still slightly shaking.

“I found it,” Alec said through deep breaths. “I finally found it.”

“Found what?” Magnus asked, utterly lost in Alec’s theatrics.

“Your flaw,” Alec started to laugh again. “I knew you had one. You are shit at poetry.”

“I am SO not,” Magnus scoffed. "It's _hella_ romantic!"

“It's _hella_ embarrassing!” Alec laughed. “Listen to this.”

He leaned forward to pick up the book from the table and cleared his throat before dramatically reading the poem.

**Clary rhymes with Broccoli – which is green. Like your eyes.**

**Fairchild rhymes with bear wild – like your hair. Which is nice.**

**You are short and sweet – like a cupcake.**

**Better than the other girls – who are kinda fake.**

**Very fierce you are – like super fierce.**

**But I dig it – so cheers!**

**I know your dad is the school principal**

**But doesn’t mean I gotta be your pal.**

**You are good at art. Probably why you captured my heart.**

**Go out with me babe, we are far away apart.**

Alec dropped the book and fell back against the ground and started laughing again.

Magnus picked up the book and frowned at it. “Is it really that bad?”

The laughter stopped and Alec was by his side in an instant. “No no no no. I was just-”

“I don’t understand,” Magnus said, genuinely confused. “My dad told me I am a great poet.”

“And my mom told Izzy that she is a great cook,” Alec snorted. “Parents are unreliable sources.”

Magnus remembered Isabelle’s cupcakes at the game and shuddered. “Did you just compare my poetry to Isabelle’s cooking?”

Alec winced. “Well, it’s not that bad but-”

“But it’s still bad,” Magnus countered, but not without any malice.

“Yeah kind of,” Alec laughed quietly this time. “I mean, come on! Clary doesn’t even rhyme with broccoli!”

Wait, doesn't it? Oh shit, it doesn't!!!

“Oh my god,” Magnus said out loud. “Oh my god. I am shit at poetry.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Alec said, getting up again. “You don’t have to be good at everything.”

“Have you met me?” Magnus rolled his eyes. “Well, this is going to fuck up my self-esteem.”

“Oh, please,” Alec scoffed, pulling at Magnus’ sleeves. “You are literally good at everything else. Like literally.”

“Keep going.”

“You are the president of like 12 clubs and you have been homecoming king for like the last three years and you are really fucking smart.”

Alec swearing always kind of cheered Magnus up because it meant that he was being serious.

“You are literally the most talented student in our batch,” Alec said more softly now.

“Even though I am shit at poetry,” Magnus asked, smiling now.

“Even though you are shit at poetry,” Alec smiled back.

Magnus stared at the notebook again as he got up and pulled Alec with him. “So, we can’t use this, huh?”

“Yeah, no,” Alec laughed again but stopped quickly when Magnus glared at him. “Jace wouldn’t have written this. He is good at poetry.”

“Jace?” Magnus asked, sounding surprised.

“Yes, Jace,” Alec clarified. “He is a really good writer. Better than I am, to be honest.”

“I am sure that’s not true.”

“No, no,” Alec said quickly. “I love to read, but I am not really good at writing my thoughts down. Jace on the other hand loves to write down things – probably because he is not very good at saying them out loud.”

“Oh,” Magnus said. “Maybe we should ask him to write it then?”

Alec considered it for a moment and shook his head. “If we tell him who it is for then he will freak out and write something stupid.”

“True,” Magnus agreed as they both sat down on the benches again. “Then it will be worse than the one I wrote.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Alec said and laughed again.

“You know what?” Magnus put his hands on his hips. “Why don’t you write it then? I am sure _you_ can find something that rhymes with Clary.”

Alec suddenly looked alarmed. “I, uh, I am not really good with words.”

“Nonsense,” Magnus dismissed, passing the notebook to him. “I am sure you can come up with something.”

Alec looked at the notebook and bit his lip. “Okay. I’ll try.”

“Great. We’ll meet after lunch break and sneak it into her locker?” Magnus asked.

“Sure,” Alec said, looking rather concerned.

“Alexander, what is it?” Magnus asked softly.

“I am just worried,” Alec said nervously, looking down. “I am just worried that my poem won’t be as _hella_ romantic as yours.”

Magnus stared at him for a minute and then they both broke into laughter.

“Alexander, you are such an asshole,” Magnus complained.

But he was actually enjoying the whole thing. He enjoyed watching Alec be this carefree and happy person. After last week, Alec seemed lighter and more comfortable – for obvious reasons. Magnus wished he could be this way with everyone else too.

“It’s just so...,” Alec tried to look for a word that probably didn't hurt Magnus' feelings. “Is this the first time you’ve written a poem?”

“Actually, no!” Magnus suddenly realized. “I used to write a lot of poems for my very first crush.”

Alec immediately stopped teasing and was all ears.

“Oh my god,” Magnus said in horror. “It all makes sense now. Every time I used to write him a poem, he would say that it was amazing and that he loved it.”

“How is this making any sense to you?” Alec questioned.

“Because Imasu didn’t speak much English,” Magnus explained and Alec laughed again. “Oh, I should have known. I always wondered why my dad kept hiding all the poems I wrote for Imasu. I thought he was being homophobic or something but this makes so much more sense.”

Alec smiled softly. “I am sure this Imasu person had plenty of other reasons to be attracted to you.”

“Oh he did and he was very vocal about it too,” Magnus winked. “We dated for a couple of months when I was in junior school. It wasn’t serious or anything but it was nice. He was my first ever boyfriend and he was super cute too. I mean the whole language barrier thing was kinda hard but I think we somehow understood each other.”

Alec, who seemed to be flipping through the notebook distractedly just hummed at that. “I’ve never heard of an Imasu.”

“He was an exchange student,” Magnus elaborated, remembering the boy with the tan skin and devil’s grin. “He was only here for a term. It was sort of a holiday romance.”

“Oh,” Alec replied. He could be frustratingly monosyllabic sometimes.

“Okay, now tell me about your first crush,” Magnus demanded, both excited and nervous to know the answer.

“I don’t have crushes,” Alec shrugged. “Crushes are for children.”

“Alec, you are a child,” Magnus pointed out. “Legally and literally.”

“Shut up, baby panda!” Alec poked out his tongue.

“Oh, come on!” Magnus grumbled. “You promised.”

“I did no such thing,” Alec shook his head. “You just randomly started to monologue about whatshisface.”

“Imasu,” Magnus corrected quickly.

“Yeah, him,” Alec said, sounding rather annoyed.

Maybe Magnus had pushed Alec more than necessary. He had a tendency to get excited and forget his boundaries. Even though Alec was comfortable enough to come out to him, it didn’t mean that they had to sit around and talk about boys. Magnus suddenly felt bad for acting so thoughtlessly.

“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you,” he apologized immediately. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Alec looked up from the empty pages of the notebook and bit his lip. “You didn’t. You don’t. I just…Promise you won’t judge me?”

Why would Magnus judge him? Lord knows Magnus had his fair share of embarrassing exes. Oh god, what if it was like a super old teacher? Oh Christ! Was it Mr. Garroway? Then an even more horrible thought occurred to him.

“Was it Jace?” he asked quietly.

“Ew, no!” Alec groaned loudly. “I mean….Well, Jace was definitely the reason I kinda questioned my sexuality but that was before he became my brother. I know he is good looking - he makes sure to remind me every single day. But no, I didn’t have a crush on him. He is too straight, too related and too obsessed with avocados.”

“Then who is it?” Magnus asked, dead curious.

“Well, I had this teeny tiny crush on Raphael when I was in middle school,” Alec said quietly.

“Who is Raphael?” Magnus asked, rather confused. There was so one like that in their batch.

“Uh, your friend?” Alec said. “Raphael Santiago?”

Magnus couldn’t help the embarrassing noise that escaped his mouth. “EXCUSE ME???”

“Are you okay?”

“Raphael Santiago?” he asked again. “Son of Guadalupe Santiago?”

“Um, I don’t know his mother’s name,” Alec said awkwardly. “But I guess, yeah?”

“He is…He is a child!” Magnus argued. “He doesn’t even have a moustache.”

“Didn’t you call me a child five minutes ago?” Alec laughed softly. “Besides you don’t have a moustache either.”

“I can grow one if I want to!” Magnus protested. “Seriously though? Raphael?” RAPHAEL???”

“What? He is kinda cute,” Alec shrugged.

“C-cute?”

“And he is kinda nice too,” Alec added.

“NICE???”

Alec started laughing again and Magnus shook his head exasperatedly.

“First you call my poetry ‘ _shit_ ’ and now you call Raphael ‘ _nice_ ’. I don’t know what is wrong with you today, Alexander!”

Alec just laughed at that quietly and then smiled up at Magnus.

“This, uh, this is nice,” Alec said in that soft voice Magnus was starting to fall in love with.

“Hurting my self-esteem?” Magnus joked and Alec smiled slightly.

“Talking about boys,” Alec corrected softly. “I…I’ve always wanted to and didn’t think I ever will.”

Magnus didn’t really want to talk about other boys with Alec. Even though he knew that Raphael would rather set himself on fire than date anyone, he still felt jealous. It was an ugly emotion but Magnus couldn’t help it. He felt like talking about boys with Alec would be a very painful process of him.

But he looked at the boy in front of him – the boy who looked happy and liberated for the first time in a long time and he couldn’t help but give Alec what he wanted.

“Well, you are always welcome to talk about boys with me,” Magnus promised.

“Just not about Raphael?” Alec grinned.

“God, no!” Magnus shuddered. “

“There is only one boy I want to talk about anyway,” Alec said and then suddenly looked alarmed – as if the words had slipped out without his permission.

“Who is it?”

“Um…” Alec hesitated. “Chris Evans?”

“He is not a boy,” Magnus laughed. “But we can definitely talk about him.”

They walked back to their classes together, talking about their celebrity crushes. Alec apparently had crushes on several of the avengers including Hawkeye. Magnus on the other hand explained how he had always been attracted to Tony Stark and Bruce Banner - who also happened to two of his favorite fictional scientists.

Once they reached the hallway, which was buzzing with students trying to find their way to their next class, Magnus reminded Alec to text him during lunch when he was ready to slip the poem into Clary’s locker. Alec nodded with a smile and left for his literature class, walking backwards so he can keep waving at Magnus.

Magnus tried his best to focus during the next two periods, trying not to let Alec Lightwood dominate his thoughts when he should be thinking of subatomic particles. It was very difficult but thanks to Catarina’s assistance and Mr. Branwell’s theatrics, Magnus was able to focus on the lesson. Catarina did look bone tired – probably because of all the extra credit classes she was taking in addition to her volunteering at the local hospital. Magnus made a mental note to go study with her later this week so he could ease some of her stress.

By the time lunch break rolled out, Alec still hadn’t texted him. But it was understandable since the other boy probably wouldn’t have had any time to write a poem during his classes. So, he patiently waited, scrolling through his insta feed, as his friends bickered among themselves.

“I got 10% lower than the last practice test,” Catarina complained to Raphael. “I don’t know what happened. I mean, I literally studied all night and I still couldn’t get a better grade than last term.”

Raphael made a sympathetic noise in response.

Magnus looked back at his phone again and still no response from Alec. They only had ten more minutes till lunch break was over and they had to slip the poem before Clary came back to her locker.

“Do we really need to go to homecoming?” Clary asked her best friend. “Like who came up with it anyway? This whole thing is too stressful. I don’t think I’ll go, Si. I mean, I am the principal’s daughter. Who will be interested in dating me – let alone take me to homecoming?

Still no response from Alec.

“I totally get it?” Simon asked and said at the same time - as he often did. “High school is so stressful? I mean, I have to pick my final year subjects? I have to pick between biology and econ? I don’t know what to choose? Like this is killing me?”

Clary was about to say something when Magnus’ phone pinged.

**_I am in the hallway._ **

Magnus sprang up from his chair and picked up his backpack.

“Where you going?” Clary questioned. “The bell hasn’t rung yet.”

“Quick meeting,” Magnus winked and Clary rolled her eyes – probably thinking he was meeting someone to make out before class.

If only.

“You didn’t eat,” Simon pointed out and Magnus picked up the apple from his tray.

“Magnus, you haven’t said a word during lunch,” Catarina said worriedly. “Are you okay? Sit down. Talk with us.”

He looked back at his phone and realized they only had eight minutes. It was no time for chitchat. It was time for Operation Clace.

“Oh, I have several words for you people,” Magnus said as he put on his backpack.

“You,” he pointed at Catarina. “You better get some fucking sleep tonight or I am telling Mr. Fell you have been overworking yourself!”

“Hey! I slept for an hou-”

“You,” he pointed at Clary. “Stop whining and open your eyes, Goddamnit! There are plenty of interested parties right here.”

“Uh, who are you talk-”

“You,” he pointed at Simon. “Just pick econ. We all know you are only considering biology because Isabelle is in that class!”

“Lies! What nonsense ar-”

“You,” he pointed at Raphael. “You stay the hell away from Alexander, you nice bastard with a cute face!”

“What the fu-”

Magnus ran out of the cafeteria as his friends called after him. By the time he reached the hallway, with only five minutes left, Alec was standing next to his locker, reading a book. Magnus tried to pry it away as soon as he reached him, but Alec was quicker.

“Not right now,” Alec said. “We don’t have time.”

Magnus pouted. “Okay, let me see the poem.”

Alec opened the book and took out a piece of paper hesitantly. “Like I said I am not good with words and I didn’t have much time to work on it. So I am not sure if this is h-”

“Alexander, shush!” Magnus interrupted him and opened the piece of paper.

His scanned the poem, carefully written in black ink with a neat handwriting on the blank recycled piece of paper.

**You remind me of northern lights –**

**when green and gold moves together in the skies above.**

**You remind me of summer time –**

**when mom makes the sweetest lemonade full of love.**

**You remind me of wild cheetahs –**

**When they are fierce, fast, protective and warm.**

**You remind me of school hallways –**

**When all the noise and movement feels like home.**

**You remind me of thunderstorms -**

**When it feels like they could tear my world apart.**

**You remind me of myself -**

**When I want nothing more than to follow my heart.**

Magnus started at the paper and read the words one more time. He looked up at Alec, his mouth slightly hanging.

“You said you are not good with words!” Magnus accused.

“I am not!”

“Alexander, I swear to god!” Magnus threatened. “This is _hella_ romantic!!”

“I…I kinda based it on what you originally wrote,” Alec explained shyly. “I didn’t want to throw it away.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow skeptically and Alec chuckled in response.

“It kinda grew on me,” Alec said in a soft voice.

“Thank you,” Magnus said, his voice equally low and soft. “There is one mistake though.”

“Oh?”

“You have written the northern lights reminds of green and gold,” Magnus pointed at the letter. “Clary’s eyes are not green and gold. They are just green.”

“Shit,” Alec swore, looking flustered. “I am so sorry I was just thinking of…the lights and I got distr-”

“That’s okay,” Magnus smiled. It was only an accidental error. Unlike Magnus’ poem which was one big error itself. “We can switch it to green and red, maybe? It can mean her eyes and hair?”

“Yeah, okay,” Alec nodded and took out his pencil case.

After making the changes, they quickly signed the letter with a cursive J and slipped it into Clary’s locker.

“Hella romantic, right?” Magnus asked.

“Hella romantic,” Alec grinned.

They looked around the empty hallway and released a satisfying breath. No one had seen their shenanigans. Clary and Jace better name their children after Magnus and Alec. The other boy leaned against one of the lockers as they both waited for the bell to ring.

“You are a good writer,” Magnus said to fill the silence, but meaning every word.

“I am not better than Jace,” Alec replied, but mostly to himself.

“You don’t have to be,” Magnus stressed. “It’s not a competition.”

“I know,” Alec said softly.

“Well, at least you are better than me,” Magnus pointed out.

“My little brother is probably better than you,” Alec chuckled.

“Hey!” Magnus swatted the other boy in the arm.

“I meant what I said before,” Alec said after a while. “You are really talented – this includes your talent to butcher poetry.”

Magnus hummed. “I am not sure if this is a compliment or an insult.”

“You are amazing, Magnus,” Alec continued, his voice serious now. “You have so many things that I don’t.”

“Like sweaters from the 21st century?” Magnus joked, trying to distract them. His stomach did weird things when Alec spoke in that low, serious voice like he was speaking right now.

“You are strong,” Alec said. “You are one of the strongest people I know.”

“Ale-”

“When I look at you, all I see is strength,” Alec whispered. “I wish I was half as strong as you are.”

“You’ll get there, Alexander,” Magnus said with certainty, hoping that Alec would believe him.

“And until then?” Alec asked.

“And until then…” Magnus said and held out his hand.

Alec took it without hesitation and Magnus entwined their fingers together. It reminded him of the way the chemicals particles had moved together in that video.

It was slow and careful and beautiful and breathtaking.

“And until then,” Magnus said, holding onto Alec’s hand and never wanting to let go. “Until then we can share.”

He had a strong urge to raise their clasped hands to his lips and kiss it. But Magnus knew Alec might not want that or be comfortable with that. So, he didn’t. Alec was staring at their hands too, lost in his own thoughts. Magnus couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking about.

Before he could ask, the bell went off. Magnus dragged Alec towards the staircase so they could safely hide and watch their plan succeed. As they waited for Clary to come pick up her books – and be serenaded by Jace’s – or Alec’s – poetry, Magnus grabbed Alec’s backpack and looked for his book.

“I need to know what happens in the end,” Magnus explained as he flipped through to the ending of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott.

_**“Oh, my girls, however long you may live, I never can wish you a greater happiness than this.”** _

Magnus smiled at Alec. “It sounds like they all got a happy ending.”

Alec shrugged. “Some more than others.”

Magnus frowned at that. “Oh, that kinda sucks.”

Alec chuckled softly at that. “Why do you keep reading just the last lines? You will never understand the full story from the final line, Magnus.”

“I don’t want to,” Magnus replied, pulling at the straps of his backpack.

When Alec didn’t respond, Magnus let out a sigh.

“My mom…she used to read to me when I was small,” Magnus explained. “I mean, dad was the reader but mom had the loveliest voice. God, you should have listened to her sing. She would read a random book from dad’s library every night because I liked listening to her voice as I fell asleep.”

He remembered the pout on his father’s face when Magnus had demanded that his mother should be the one to read to him. He remembered his mother trying to read her chemistry textbooks and his father replacing it with a classic.

“No chemistry books after 9 pm,” his father would smile at her. “You know the rule, darling.”

His mother, not a fan of classics or fiction like Magnus himself, would roll her eyes and read him a random story from his father’s library. She would literally walk around the library and pick up a random book.

Alec smiled and held out his hand. Magnus took it without another thought.

“She would always get bored half way through the book and find another one – hoping it would be more interesting, hoping she would finish this one at least. We read hundreds of stories, but never got to the ending. Not once.”

The other boy stared at him with a soft look on his face. “Did you ever want to know how these stories ended?”

“Not really,” Magnus shrugged. “But I think she did. She always wanted to know how the adventures ended and what happened to the characters. She said one day she would finish a book and learn what happens in the end.”

Magnus remembered her determination like it was yesterday.

_“It’s just there are so many pages, love,” his mother had sighed tiredly. “I just want to know what happens in the end.”_

_“They live happily ever after?” Magnus had asked._

_“We’ll never know,” she had said, pointing at the thick spine of the book._

_“Guess we have to read it the whole thing to find that out.”_

_His mother had given him a cheeky grin – the one his father accused that Magnus used way too often to get away with his mischiefs._

_“Maybe we can skip to the last page and read the final line?”_

_Magnus had giggled. “Mom, we can’t do that. That’s cheating!”_

_“Ugh,” his mother had groaned. “Okay, we’ll finish a story together. I promise.”_

But they never got to finish a story together.

“So I read the endings for her,” Magnus told Alec now. “I think she would have liked them.”

In that moment, Magnus was lost in his nothing but nostalgia. But when Alec raised their clasped hands and laid a soft kiss, all thoughts seemed to cease. Magnus didn’t know what to say or do. But apparently his eyes did.

“Crap,” he said wiping away the stupid tear as students started to fill the hallways “I shouldn’t have worn eyeliner today either.”

“Catarina said eyeliner is your armour,” Alec said suddenly.

“Um, yes,” Magnus replied awkwardly. “Kind of. It’s my favorite type of makeup.”

“Then you shouldn’t giv-”

Whatever Alec was going to say was forgotten since he noticed Clary walking towards her locker. 

“This is kinda fun,” Alec punched him in the shoulder excitedly.

Magnus winced and shushed him. “Good god, what have I created?”

They both held their breath as Clary opened the locker and a small piece of paper fell down. His friends picked it up and her eyes skimmed through the content. A small smile appeared on her lips and Clary chuckled to herself.

" _Hella_ romantic," they both said in unison and then giggled together.

Alec raised his hand and Magnus couldn’t help but give him a high five. Clary looked around the hallway, not so subtly, probably looking Jace. Magnus saw her eyes widen when her head turned in the opposite direction and she quickly looked away.

“What happened?” Alec asked urgently.

Magnus craned his neck to see what had startled Clary only to find Maia’s ex Jordan smiling at Clary.

“I cannot fucking believe this,” Magnus groaned. “Where the fuck did he come from?”

“Who is that guy?” Alec asked suspiciously.

“That’s Maia’s ex,” Magnus explained to Alec, who was always lost when it came to identifying people. “He transferred from New Jersey last year.”

“Oh shit!” Alec winced. “That’s the guy who was a dick to Maia?”

“Yep.”

“So Clary thinks she got the letter from Jordan and not Jace?”

“Yep.”

“Did Operation Clace get screwed over again?”

“Yep.”

They had both hung out after school for a while, trying to come up with a new plan – but ended up lamenting about their old ones. Alec seemed to instantly hate Jordan since he was protective of Maia and Magnus wasn’t fond of the new boy either.

He had wanted to ask Clary what she had thought of the poem but he knew it would make her suspicious.

“I am just sad your beautiful poem was wasted for nothing,” Magnus told Alec as he dropped him off at home that evening.

Alec turned around to smile at him after getting off the car.

“ _Our_ beautiful poem,” he corrected Magnus. “And it wasn’t a total waste.”

Magnus smiled then and he hadn’t been able to stop smiling ever since. The smile only got wider and brighter when he opened his locker the next morning to find a small box wrapped in blue paper and a note, with a neat handwriting that was already so achingly familiar.

**My heart aches every time I see you in tears**

**I wish I could make your problems go away.**

**But I can’t cause I am just a boy of sixteen years.**

**I promise by your side I will always stay.**

**Don’t give up on the things that you love**

**Just because sometimes things get rough.**

**You can learn to adapt and rise above**

**I know you can because you are _hella_ tough.**

A soft chuckle escaped his lips when he opened the blue box. He shook his head as he chuckled, as his fingers clasped around the waterproof eyeliner.

He imagined Alec going to Macy’s or some other store, looking utterly lost yet determined to buy Magnus an updated armor - something Magnus had never thought to buy for himself. It was mostly because Magnus had thought that he couldn’t have both. He had thought that he couldn't carry his grief about the past and be happy about his present at the same time.

But Alexander Lightwood had proved him wrong.

He smiled again at the waterproof eyeliner and thought of Alec coming to school before everyone else so he could surprise Magnus. He thought of Alec writing the poem for him. He thought of Alec buying the eyeliner for Magnus.

It was sweet. It was kind. It was thoughtful.

But most importantly, it was _hella_ romantic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> I'll update the chapter next week (who knows when tho...)
> 
> Fun fact: March 21st is World Poetry Day. This day is celebrated on an initiative by the United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) for appreciation and support from poetry and poets from around the world.


	9. History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can promise you that your mom won’t hate you. I know I don’t know your mother. But I can promise you that she won’t ever stop loving you. Despite how she might feel about you, she will never hate you.”
> 
> “How do you know?” Alec asked the older man. 
> 
> “Because there is nothing in the world Magnus could do that would make me hate him,” he smiled.
> 
> Cupid cuties, Happy children, Good parents and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know it's been a while. But...
> 
> *presents 14k chapter* 
> 
> We cool?
> 
> Note: This chapter was one of the hardest to write - not only because it was fucking long but also because it is kind of emotional. So, watch out.
> 
> Happy reading :)

“Which elevator?”

He heard papers shuffling on the other side and Magnus pacing restlessly. “Well, Idris only has one elevator. So, that one obviously!!”

Ah, yes. The Idris architecture was ancient – probably because it was built centuries ago. It was one of the oldest schools in the state – probably the country. Alec remembered the day they installed the elevator in school. He had been in third grade. It was installed to aid those with injuries or disabilities so they can get to the higher floors without any inconvenience.

But of course, all the kids had faked some sort of injury at some point so they can take a ride in the new elevator. Some people had even got actual injuries so they could ride it. But now it was used by all students and staff. Alec couldn’t believe that he had forgotten about the damn thing for a minute there.

But then again, Alec had a tendency to forget most things when he was with Magnus.

Like the goddamn school bus.

“You ready, sweety?” his mother called from downstairs.

“Coming!” Alec yelled from his bedroom.

There was more shuffling on the end and Alec couldn’t help but be concerned.

“Are you okay?”

“Uhhhh, yes,” Magnus replied, clearly distracted. “I can’t find my chemistry notes. I need them to revise for tomorrow’s exam.”

“Did you check under the duvet?” Alec asked. “You were studying chemistry when I called you last night. So, you could have fall-”

“No I checked. It’s not there,” Magnus said. Alec could almost see Magnus biting his lip. “I am _pretty sure_ it’s somewhere in the bedroom.”

In Alec’s experience – with Jace mostly – ‘I’m pretty sure’ usually meant ‘I have no fucking clue’.

“Okay, calm down and retrace your steps from last night,” Alec told him gently, not wanting to add more stress. “What did you do after we finished talking?”

“Hmmm, I packed my backpack and then decided to revise some more so I went to th-” the shuffling abruptly stopped.

“Magnus?”

“Alexander! You are a genius!” Magnus yelled and out of nowhere Alec heard a sound from the other end of the phone.

Thanks to Izzy, he knew exactly what it was. Alec gasped and dropped the phone in shock.

Did…Did Magnus just give him a kiss?

Okay it was only through the phone but still!!!

“I’ll meet you near the elevator. Ciao!” he heard the other boy say and bent down to pick up his phone from the floor.

The screen was cracked. But Alec really couldn’t be bothered right now.

Some kisses were worth the damage.

He stared at his lock screen – it was a picture of him and his siblings building a snowman. Alec was shaping the snowman's head. Jace was munching on the carrot that was supposed to be the snowman’s nose. Isabelle was wrapping one of her fancy scarves around the snowman’s neck and Max…His little brother who had been barely five when they had taken that picture was giving the said snowman a hug.

Of course the whole thing had collapsed because Max had hugged him too tight – but that was the kind of kid Max happened to be. He loved strongly and fiercely.

So it really sucked that they had to grow up without him. After the divorce, the court had ordered Max to go into his father’s custody. Alec had never seen his mother look sadder than on that day.

He missed Max.

He missed moments like the one in his phone.

None of them had cried or thrown a tantrum when the snowman had fallen apart. Instead Alec remembered all of them jumping at the mess and making snowballs to throw at each other. They had never bothered about the mess as long as they had each other.

But now Max was gone and Alec couldn’t help but feel responsible.

He knew that there was nothing they could have done to save their parents’ marriage. But if he had just something – anything – maybe his father would have stayed with them.

Maybe the best moments with his family won’t be just memories and photographs.

A loud honk brought him out of his depressing train of thought and Alec quickly picked up his backpack before running downstairs.

As he quickly slipped into the passenger seat and secured the seatbelt, his mother gave him a worried look.

“Are you alright, sweety?”

Nope.

Alec looked at her and gave her a smile. “Yeah, I am alright.”

She smiled back and stepped on the gas.

“Mom, I am sorry you had to drive me to school today,” Alec mumbled from the passenger seat. “I was on the phone and I-”

“Hey, it’s alright,” his mother said. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”

“Okay,” Alec said, mostly to himself.

His mother was usually a chatty driver. She usually used car rides as an opportunity to get them to spill about their personal lives. But today she was unusually quiet. It was as if she had somehow realized that Alec was troubled and had decided not to bother him. She could be amazingly perceptive and incredibly understanding that way.

A few minutes passed before Alec opened his mouth again – because he knew not asking the question would only ruin the rest of his day.

“Mom?” Alec asked quietly. “Do you think we’ll see Max anytime soon?”

He knew he caught his mother off guard as she almost lose control of the wheel. Even though they all missed Max, he knew that it was his mother who missed him the most. Max had always been everyone’s favorite member of the family – and his mother was not immune to his charms.

“I don’t think so, sweety,” she replied after a moment. “We might see him for Christmas.”

Ever since his father moved to London with Max and his new family, they had barely got to see him. He didn’t have his own phone so they couldn’t keep in touch with him through social media either. They were only allowed to see him when his father was in town – which barely ever happened anymore.

Sometimes it was as if Max was no longer with them at all.

Alec knew very well that they were not going to see Max for Christmas either. There was no way in hell his father would spend Christmas here with them instead of spending it with his new family in London.

As his mother pulled into the school, Alec picked up his backpack and bit his lip.

“I am sorry, mom,” he whispered, half-hoping she wouldn’t hear him.

“Why are you sorry?” she asked, her eyebrows knit in concern.

“I just am,” Alec said and walked away quickly before she could ask any further questions.

He ran across the hallway straight to the Idris elevator since he knew Magnus would already be there as the other boy lived much closer to the school. As soon as he spotted Magnus standing next to the elevator, his legs stopped moving. He just stood there staring at the boy who was leaning against the wall and frowning at his notes.

It was absolutely ridiculous how the mere sight of a person could change the beat of your heart.

Alec felt himself relax – partly because he actually felt better after seeing the other boy and partly because he didn’t want Magnus to get distracted.

He exhaled deeply and walked towards the elevator in a slower and controlled pace. Magnus frowned upon seeing him.

“You okay?” Magnus asked.

Damn it! How did he know?

“Yeah, I am okay,” Alec smiled. “I didn’t get enough sleep. So, I’m just a little cranky.”

“Alexander, minimum eight hours of sle-”

“Speak for yourself, hypocrite,” Alec rolled his eyes. “I knew you were up all night studying.”

“Well, I have an exam,” Magnus argued. “What’s your excuse?”

He didn’t want to say. He knew Magnus wouldn’t judge him. He knew his mother wouldn’t either.

“Hey,” Magnus nudged his arm softly. “You know you can talk to me about anything right?”

People always say that talking about problems made you feel better. It was true – as Alec had found out a week ago when he had talked to Magnus in the school bus.

But sometimes talking about your problems wasn’t an option – because while it can make you feel good, it can also make others feel bad.

He knew talking about Max would make Magnus feel sorry for him.

He knew talking about his sexuality would probably hurt his mother.

So, Alec decided not to talk.

It wasn’t a difficult thing for him to do. It actually made him feel really sad how easy it had become for him to bury something in his heart instead of letting it out.

“I know,” Alec smiled. “I was just reading late.”

“Tsk tsk,” Magnus objected. “Beauty sleep is very important, Alexander. Not that you need it of course.”

First the kiss on the phone and now _this_???

Alright, that’s it. Magnus was on a mission to make him blush to death today.

“What are we doing here?” Alec asked instead, because he was a pro at changing the topic.

“I am glad you asked,” Magnus grinned. “I have our latest plan for Operation Clace.”

Alec couldn’t help but grin. “Shouldn’t you be studying?”

“I am multi-tasking,” Magnus waved him off. “So, I’ve been thinking. As you know, Operation Clace has been a bit of a…Well, it hasn’t been successful in the past.”

“You don’t say,” Alec deadpanned.

Magnus swatted him on the arm with his notes. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I-”

“You have an exam tomorrow and _that’s_ what you’ve been thinking about?” Alec chuckled.

“Oh my god, will you let me talk?” Magnus whined and Alec put a finger against his lips and asked Magnus to carry on. “The problem with our plan is that Jace and Clary have never really got the opportunity to talk to each other. According to my research, communication is key to any relationship. So, we just need to make sure they find a safe and private space where they can talk to each other.”

Alec waited.

“Ta-da,” Magnus exclaimed and pointed at the elevator.

“You are not serious, right?” Alec gaped. “We are not going to lock them in the elevator!”

“I spoke to Mr. Wendell and he said it’s completely safe,” Magnus replied coolly.

“Who the hell is Mr. Wendell???”

“He is the janitor,” Magnus grinned. “He knows how to handle the elevator. I have already spoken to him. All we need to do is get Jace and Clary here. Stop the elevator for 10 minutes and voila!”

“Ten minutes?” Alec frowned. “Is that even enough time for them to….connect?”

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus sighed dramatically. “A lot can go down in ten minutes.”

“What if someone else gets in?” Alec asked skeptically.

“That’s just a risk we gotta take,” Magnus shrugged.

Alec frowned again. “You are sure it’s safe, right?”

“Alexander,” Magnus said in that tone that made Alec heart speed up and slow down at the same time. “I would never suggest something that would put Jace or Clary in danger. Maybe a demonstration would make you feel better? I’ll go first and then Wendell can show that it’s not dan-”

“No, no,” Alec interrupted. “I trust you.”

He did. He _really_ did.

“You sure?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah,” Alec said. “Sorry, still a bit cranky. Let’s go meet this Mr. Wendell then.”

Mr. Wendell was not what he had expected. To be honest, Alec wasn’t sure why he had expected to meet a grouchy old man. But Mr. Wendell was actually quite young and surprisingly cheerful.

Alec had also expected the man to protest or even maybe ask for a bribe. But he had only said “Anything for love, y'all!”

Apparently, Mr. Wendell was a firm believer of romance.

Of course the fact that Magnus was friends with literally everyone in the school didn’t hurt either.

Mr. Wendell asked them to get Clary and Jace in the elevator sharp at 10.25 so he could stop it exactly until 10.30.

So at 10.15, they had slipped out of class in order to execute their plan.

Magnus first texted Clary to meet him on the first floor.

“I told her I urgently need some help with homecoming décor. There is no way she is going to pass a décor job!” Magnus winked. "Then we can ask her to go to the drama room on the fourth floor."

“I told Jace I had a medical emergency. There is no way he will not come here running like a mother hen,” Alec winked back. "Then we’ll just ask him to go to the sick room on the fourth floor and get me an aspirin or something.”

They grinned like idiots and high-fived each other.

“You know what?” Alec said. “If our future careers don’t work out, we can always start a matchmaking service.”

“We totally could,” Magnus agreed enthusiastically. “We are naturals at this!”

“Right??”

“ _Cupid Cuties_ ,” Magnus announced with a flourish. “How does that sound? I bet it would look great on a visiting card!”

“I think we’ve already established that you are not great at naming things,” Alec chuckled.

“Slander!” Magnus gasped.

“You call Clary after a teatime snack. You call Mr. Fell by the name of a vegetable for no reason. Your childhood pet was named after a communist revolutionary and you c-”

“First of all, biscuits are really sweet and so is Clary. Second of all, Mr. Fell wears a lot of green. So I can hardly call him carrot or beetroot. Third of all, how could you bring up Chairman Meow? I am still mourning his loss!”

“You are bad at it. You are bad poetry and you are bad at giving people nicknames,” Alec said, not planning to back down because this banter with Magnus was everything. “Just admit it.”

“What about Alexander?” Magnus asked with ‘gotcha’ tone. “That’s a good one, right?”

“Alexander is not a nickname!” he chuckled. “That’s my actual name!!”

“Oh, I thought that was a nickname,” Magnus replied innocently. “Hmm, I suppose I should stop calling you Alexander then.”

“Please don’t!”

He hadn’t mean to yell it like that – with such fear and desperation. But it had come out that way without him even trying.

The way Magnus said his name, his full name, made him feel so many things – things he didn’t know he could or should feel. Things he never wanted to stop feeling – ever.

“Please don’t,” Alec said more softly this time.

“I won’t, Alexander,” Magnus whispered. “I won’t ever stop.”

Alec knew in his heart that he was mere seconds away from grabbing Magnus by the face and kissing him senseless.

Thankfully the elevator dinged and the doors opened. He was saved by a tea time snack.

“Hey, Cla-”

The grin on Magnus’ face disappeared. “What are _YOU_ doing here?”

“Ouch,” Simon said, looking a little hurt. “Clary can’t get out of art class. Mrs. F is in one of her moods. So, Clary asked me to help out. So, where is this décor stuff?”

Uh-oh. Maybe they needed a little bit more practice before printing visiting cards.

“Simoooon!” Magnus whined. 

The other boy just looked very lost and confused. Alec almost felt sorry for him.

“Does that mean you don’t want my help?” Simon asked, stepping out of the elevator. “I sneaked out of Ms. Lovelace’s class for this! You know she is going to eat me alive if she finds out.”

“Simon,” Magnus sighed deeply. “Sweet, sweet, Simon. I don’t think you can help me with this one.”

“Hey, I can help you with décor stuff,” Simon protested. "You've seen my room!"

“I think you should get back to class,” Alec interjected.

“But Magnus wanted help with th-”

The words died in his mouth and the other boy gaped at whatever was behind Alec.

“Hey, losers!” the familiar voice said and Alec turned around.

This plan could not get any more fucked.

“What are _YOU_ doing here?” Alec inquired in frustration.

“Yikes! I know you are sick but no need to be a dick about it,” Izzy complained. “Jace is stuck with Mr. Garroway. So, he asked me to check on you. Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Am fine,” Alec mumbled.

“You don’t look fine,” Izzy frowned and poked at his sweater. “You are sweating!”

“I just…I needed Jace,” Alec explained. He couldn’t tell her this was about Operation Clace – at least not in front of Simon.

“What do you need?” his sister pressed. “I can help you.”

“No, you can’t!” Alec said in the same frustrated voice and Izzy looked hurt. 

“You don’t want my help?” she asked softly.

“It’s just…it’s a _boy emergency_ , Izzy,” Alec whispered, but he was pretty sure they could all hear him. “That’s why I need to talk to Jace, okay?”

“Oh, please,” Isabelle rolled her eyes. “I know the male body better than Jace. Trust me.”

Someone coughed loudly and Alec turned around to see Magnus patting Simon on his back with a worried expression.

“Hey, Lewis Simon!” she grinned at the other boy and Simon muttered something unintelligible. “Alec, now tell me what’s wrong!”

“Nothing!” Alec groaned. “I just…I just have a headache.”

“That’s your _boy emergency??_ ” Izzy looked annoyed. “You just need an aspirin, you big baby. Wait, I’ll go get one.”

“Izzy, that’s not nec-”

“Alec, if you don’t take something now, it will only get worse!” Izzy said in a tone that was not to be argued with. “Just wait here. I’ll be back.”

She got into the elevator and turned around with a skeptical face.

“Are you going somewhere?” she asked, pointing at Simon.

Simon looked at Magnus and then at Alec and then at Izzy.

“Um, yes?” Simon gulped. “I was gonna go to the drama room to help Magnus with som-”

“Well, get in then!” Izzy grinned and Simon followed her in without another word.

The elevators doors closed and suddenly they were alone again.

“What the hell just happened?” Magnus asked.

“I honestly have no idea,” Alec answered.

“Damn it!” Magnus cursed. “Now we need a new pla-”

The elevator halted with a bang and Alec stared at Magnus.

“NO!!!” They both screamed at the same time and ran towards Mr. Wendell’s room on the third floor.

“I can’t believe we forgot about the stupid elevator,” Magnus panted as they ran. “It was literally right in front of us. We could have stopped them.”

“We are so not naturals at this,” Alec grumbled.

Apparently sprinting to Mr. Wendell’s room had been a waste of energy since the place was empty.

“Oh my god!” Alec gasped. “Where is he?”

“Maybe he went to pee?” Magnus bit his lip.

“Should we call him?”

“How?”

“You don’t have his phone number?”

“Why would I have his phone number, Alexander?”

“I don’t know! I thought you were friends!”

“That doesn’t mean I would have his number!!”

“Maybe we should press some buttons on the panel?”

“What? No!!!”

They just stared at each for a moment – both of them scared and worried.

“Alexander, I am sorry,” Magnus said, sitting down on the floor. “I keep messing this up and everyone keeps getting hurt.”

Alec’s heart broke.

He knew that this was not a game for Magnus. He was doing this because he genuinely wanted Clary to be happy – and Jace too.

Magnus went out of his way to make sure the people he cared about were happy.

It wasn’t his fault that the universe had other plans.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alec said, sitting down next to him and taking Magnus’s hand. “No one is hurt.”

“But they are-”

“Mr. Wendell said he’ll switch it back on in five minutes, right? It’s only been two. He’ll be back,” Alec reassured him.

He realized that he had panicked unnecessarily. But it was Izzy.

Even though his sister was probably the strongest and bravest in their family, he couldn’t help but want to protect her. He didn’t know what from – he just knew that he had to. It was his job as her big brother.

Alec had a tendency to freak out if she got a paper cut. So, he shouldn’t be surprised that he had freaked out about her getting stuck inside an elevator.

But if he knew anything about his sister, it was that she would break out of it all on her own – and do it in style. Alec was glad that Simon didn’t get stuck in there alone.

“What do you think they are doing?” Alec asked in curiosity.

Isabelle and Simon had nothing in common – not that he knew of anyway.

“Are you worried about your sister?”

“I am actually worried about Simon to be honest,” Alec chuckled quietly.

Magnus grinned slightly. “I am still sorry.”

“Sometimes things don’t go according to plan,” Alec told the other boy. “If we are going to start a business together, you need to remember that.”

Magnus grinned. “I know Operation Clace is a major clusterfuck right now but I really do think we are good at this.”

“At what?” Alec grinned as he ran his fingers over Magnus’ rings. “Cutting class and making secret plans?”

“Bringing people together,” Magnus just smiled.

Alec could only smile back. “I think we’d be great partners.”

Magnus’ smile got wider and Alec realized what he had just said.

“I meant business partners!!” Alec corrected quickly. “Like partners who do business stuff together.”

“Right,” Magnus said, but he was still grinning. Alec noticed that they were still holding hands and sitting next to each other.

All he had to do was lean in. 

But Magnus seemed so close and yet so far away – at the same freaking time!

Maybe if Alec closed his eyes, he would not fee-

“Well, well, well,” the cheerful voice said. “I thought y'all were setting up some other couple!”

“Hey!!” Magnus said, as he got up hastily. “Where have YOU been???”

“Jesus, kid! Calm down,” the man said, his attitude still cheerful. “I thought I’d give y'all a couple of extra minutes – on the house, ya know?”

“We got the wrong couple in the elevator,” Magnus explained in frustration.

“They are not a couple,” Alec mumbled to no one in particular.

“Oh, shikes!” the man said. “Well, that’s a bummer!”

“So can we please turn it back on?” Alec asked.

“Y'all sure? We can give those two some more time,” the man suggested.

Alec shook his head vehemently and looked at Magnus for support. But the other boy seemed lost in thought.

“Don’t you even freaking think about it!” Alec warned.

“But they are kinda cute together though!”

“Magnus!”

“I mean Operation Sizzy is not a bad na-”

“MAGNUS!”

“Alright, alright,” Magnus pouted. “But if you are going to be so picky, we might not have any clients in the future.

“Then stop suggesting to set up all my siblings!” Alec countered grumpily.

Thank god Max wasn't here or else...

The thought of Max brought up feelings he didn't want to deal with right now. So Alec immediately pushed it away.

“Are we turning this thing back on or what?”

They both looked at Mr. Wendell and gave him the go. They said a quick thank you – which he happily took with his cheerful enthusiasm - and ran towards the fourth floor to find Izzy and Simon.

“I can’t believe we beat the fucking elevator,” Magnus said as he put his hands on his knees and panted.

Alec was going to say something back when the elevator door opened and Isabelle walked out. She looked like the Cheshire cat with her purple dress and giant grin.

Simon walked after her, looking like…the mad hatter.

“Goodbye, Lord Montgomery,” Isabelle winked at him and walked away without another word. 

“I, um, I-I can explain,” Simon spluttered.

“Please don’t,” Alec begged.

He turned around to see that Magnus was doing his goddamn best to hold back his laughter.

“If you make any secrets plans for the two of them,” Alec started but Magnus just grinned and pulled him by the arm and walked towards the stairs again.

“Oh, I don’t think those two need our help,” Magnus said. “Isabelle seems to be the Lightwood with a functioning brain cell.”

“She really is,” Alec agreed proudly as they walked down the stairs waving their clasped hands back and forth like little children.

Isabelle was definitely the smartest in their family. Her closest competition was Max of course. Max used to love doing jigsaw puzzles with him and...

Np, not now.

He suddenly realized what Magnus had meant.

“Hey! How dare you insult your partner like that? I am suing!”

“No, you won’t,” Magnus poked his tongue out. “I am off to class. I’ll see you at lunch, partner. We need to come up with a new strategy!”

He watched Magnus remove his hand from his, the ringed fingers slowly – and maybe a little unwillingly – removing them from Alec’s.

By the time the lunch break rolled in, Alec was already tired. The day had been oddly heavy and he just wanted to go to sleep. It was weird how you could feel so exhausted even when you had done absolutely nothing during the whole day.

His phone beeped and Alec looked up from his copy of Pride and Prejudice.

He pressed the home button on his face and Max’s tiny face stared at him.

Alec sighed and opened the group text.

_**We miss you <3** _

A tiny grin appeared on the corner of his mouth. He had told his siblings that he couldn’t sit with them for lunch today.

They had booed and protested and made a whole racket.

Then he had told them that he would be with Magnus.

They had clapped and whistled and made an entirely different racket.

**_I miss you guys too <3 <3_ **

He really did.

Unlike Max, he knew his siblings were only a few minutes away. But he still missed them. He missed having lunch with them. He missed Jace’s rants about the lack of avocados in the lunch menu and Izzy’s enthusiastic gossip sharing.

Then he saw Magnus walking towards him, carrying a lunch tray. He looked stunning in his plain orange t-shirt and white jacket. The jeans did great things for his legs too. 

Alec's heart did that thing.

It was like his heart took a nap or something. It was still hurt and tired – but it felt slightly better.

Alec suddenly had an odd desire to sit with Magnus during lunch every day - with all their friends of course.

Jace, Izzy, Clary, Cat, Simon - and even Raphael. 

Magnus sat down on the wooden bench opposite him and laid down the tray on the table. Alec stared at the tray and then at Magnus.

“What is this?” Alec pointed at the three lemons on the tray.

“When life gives you lemons,” Magnus announced theatrically.

Alec couldn’t help but grin. Magnus could be so unnecessarily extra sometimes. But he did it with style. 

Max would have loved him.

No!

“I appreciate the pun, Magnus,” Alec smiled. “But I am still hungry.”

“Worry not, sir - for I bring the best meal in all seven kingdoms,” Magnus continued his act and took out a box from his backpack.

“What’s that?” Alec asked, already sniffing the aroma.

“It is a delicious treat from a faraway island,” Magnus said in a low voice. “It was made by the hands of the best chef in the realm!”

Thanks to Max, he knew very well what Nasi Goreng looked like. Despite being tiny, Max had a liking to spicy food. Alec wondered what the food in Britain tasted like. He wondered if Max had his own bottle of hot sauce in his new house.

Stop it!

He saw Magnus waiting expectantly and buried the thoughts about his brother. Alec took a spoonful and couldn’t help but moan loudly. It tasted just right.

“Magnus, this is delicious!” Alec exclaimed. “It’s probably the best Nasi Goreng I’ve ever had!”

“Thank you, kind sir,” Magnus bowed deeply. “This wonderful collection of rice and spice happens to be my favorite.”

“Really?” Alec raised a skeptical brow.

“Do you doubt my word?” Magnus held the spoon at Alec's face threateningly and narrowed his eyes.

“No,” Alec shrugged. “It’ just…I always thought pandas liked to eat bamboos.”

“Alexaaaaander,” Magnus whined in his usual tone and Alec broke into laughter.

“What’s your new plan then?” Alec asked instead, still slightly laughing and enjoying Magnus' lunch. 

Magnus pouted but seemed happy enough to discuss their new plan.

“Well, it’s the same plan. I meant it when I said Jace and Clary need to spend more time with each other. So, we need to make sure they meet. I was thinking we could lock them up in an empty classroom. Maybe the chemistry lab? I can get the keys! Much safer and easier, don’t you think?”

Alec grinned as he ate his food. “What is it with you and locking people up?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Magnus grinned and Alec did not choke on his Nasi.

His phone pinged once more. Max’s face on the lock screen stared at him again and he briefly closed his eyes in pain. It was only a second but it seemed that Magnus had noticed.

“You alright?” he suddenly looked serious now – all the playfulness in his voice gone god knows where.

This is exactly why Alec didn’t want to talk to other people about his problems. It was bad enough that it ate his happiness. But he’d be damned if he ruined it for others too.

“Yeah,” Alec replied and checked his text. Maia had sent a picture of Simon staring at Izzy and had captioned it with ‘ _heart eyes motherfucker_ ’.

Alec tried to smile at it. But he couldn’t. He quickly replied with a couple of upside-down smiley face emojis. 

“You can talk to me,” Magnus said softly. “I know something has been bothering you.”

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Alec said, trying his best not to sound rude or unkind. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course that’s okay,” Magnus said quickly. “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. But is there anything I can do? Is there anything you need?”

“I already have everything I need right here,” Alec said without thinking.

“Oh?” Magnus said.

Ah shit!

“I meant this,” he quickly pointed at his book. “Reading always helps.”

Magnus smiled at that and held out his hand. Alec rolled his eyes and passed him the book.

_“With the Gardiners, they were always on the most intimate terms. Darcy, as well as Elizabeth, really loved them, and they were both sensible of the warmest gratitude towards persons who, by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been the means of uniting them.”_

Magnus looked at him skeptically after dramatically reading out the last line. “Isn’t Pride and Prejudice like one of the most romantic books ever or something?”

“Well, it really depends on who you ask,” Alec replied honestly. He knew for a fact Jace wasn’t a big fan. 

“Well, I am asking you,” Magnus smiled.

“I do like it,” Alec admitted. “I mean, it’s not my favorite, but it’s definitely a book I have read more than once. I like Elizabeth. I find her relatable. And then you have Mr. Darcy. I mean...oof!”

“Alright, who the hell is this Darcy dude?” Magnus demanded. “And why is everyone obsessed with him?”

“Because he is Mr. Darcy!”

“Wow that makes so much sense,” Magnus deadpanned. “Thanks, Alexander!”

Alec remembered reading the book for the first time when he was 13 and being head over heels for Mr. Darcy. He had been Alec's first fictional love. 

“He is just…He is the exact opposite of what you’d expect from a romantic hero. He is not your typical Romeo. He is kind of an ass and is rude to the girl that he likes. He is also super arrogant and tri-”

“And people _like_ this guy??”

“Well, it’s complicated,” Alec shrugged. “He is also smart and kind and generous. He eventually overcomes his pride – which is sort of the point of the story. It’s not his character you fall in love with – it’s his journey.”

“You and your journeys,” Magnus mumbled as he passed the novel back to him.

“Magnus Bane,” Alec gasped. “Are you jealous of a fictional character?”

“Am not!!” Magnus protested, but the pout on his face gave him away.

“You have no reason to be jealous of him,” Alec explained. “I mean yes, everyone kind of loves him. But everyone loves you too.”

Magnus just shrugged and then mumbled something.

“What was that?” Alec asked.

“Do you like Mr. Darcy too?” Magnus asked a little louder this time.

Alec wanted to laugh.

Magnus had no clue that Jace had nicknamed him ‘Mr. Darcy’ after finding out that Alec was head over heels in love with the boy. They would use the code word to refer to Magnus – back when Alec was nothing but a stranger to Magnus.

“I love Mr. Darcy,” Alec replied, smiling at Magnus.

Magnus, who had no freaking clue, frowned even more. He was about to say something when Alec’s phone pinged again.

He saw Max’s face again and closed his eyes briefly. He wondered if he should change his lock screen to something that didn't break his heart every five minutes. But he didn’t want to. If he just started to get rid of things because they hurt him then he would end up with nothing. It would start with a lock screen and then develop into bigger things.

He didn’t want to forget Max or push him away. He just…He was just going to suck it up.

**_“I’ll be getting late tonight, sweety. Order pizza?”_ **

Alec quickly texted an affirmative response and hope she wasn’t pushing herself too hard. He knew that she had to work twice as hard after the divorce. Not just because she had to support them on her own - but also because the world was a fucked up place where people were kinder to a male divorcee than a female one.

“Do you want to come home with me after school?”

Alec looked up and stared at Magnus. 

“What???”

“I mean you can come and read in dad’s library,” Magnus elaborated and Alec exhaled quietly in relief. “You said reading helps so you can come and read there if you want to.”

“Magnus, I don’t want to impo-”

“I am offering,” Magnus said. “So you are not.”

Alec thought about it. The last thing he wanted was to go back home right now. He didn’t want to go back there and think about all the good times they had spent as a family. He certainly didn’t want to think about the bad times.

“I thought you had to study for an exam,” Alec said hesitantly.

“I do. Catarina is coming over to study with me. We’ll be in my room. You can read in the library – as long you want to.”

Alec could say no. But he didn’t want to.

He needed his fictional heroes right now. He needed their strength. He needed Magnus.

“Alright okay,” Alec had smiled weakly. He sent a quick text to his siblings saying that he will be going to Magnus’ place straight after school and asked them to order the pizzas.

Izzy replied back with a not-so-subtle winking gif whereas Jace just straight up sent him a row of peach and eggplant emojis.

Alec shook his head at their antics and smiled at Magnus.

So this was how he found himself in Magnus’ library that evening. Magnus was in his bedroom with Catarina preparing for his exam so Alec let them be. He volunteered to help then realized that it was probably a bad idea considering that he didn’t know shit about chemistry. So he decided to stay in the library and read Wuthering Heights – again.

It was crazy how the room was filled with hundreds of treasured books and Alec’s eye immediately and automatically went to the book he had read at least a couple of dozen times by now.

It was in a way how he felt about Magnus too.

It didn’t matter how many other guys he saw or how amazing they were, his eyes always looked for Magnus in any crowd – immediately and automatically, even though he had seen him hundreds of times before.

He couldn’t get enough of Wuthering Heights and he couldn’t get enough of Magnus. He didn’t think he ever will.

Even though he tried to focus on the words in front of him, he just couldn't. His mind kept running towards Max and his father.

He kept thinking about his parents and wondered if they would somehow still be together if Alec had tried something different. It made him feel guilty and useless and not good at all.

“Magnus?” a voice called and Alec raised his head to see a man walking into the room.

He stopped abruptly on the threshold, looking both surprised and amused. He was wearing a white suit - and kind of pulled it off well too. Even though Alec had never seen this man before, he instantly recognized him. The tall, slender frame and the golden-green eyes were unmistakably familiar.

“Uh, I am not Magnus,” Alec replied rather lamely.

“Oh, I know,” the older man grinned. “You are much quieter – and whiter.”

In his history of awkward first impressions, this was probably the worst.

“Thank you for allowing me to read in your library,” Alec said quickly – trying to make at least a good second impression.

“Actually, I wasn’t told that you would be here,” the man informed.

Oh, well...

“I can leave,” Alec said, already getting up from the couch.

“Nonsense,” the man waved him off. “You are more than welcome to stay. I am just glad someone other than me is visiting the library. Although Magnus has been surprisingly spending more time in here lately.”

“He has?” Alec asked in surprise, settling down again. “He is reading?”

“No such luck,” Magnus’s father snorted. “He just hangs out here. Studying or listening to songs or playing on his phone. He sometimes just sleeps on the couch. I am starting to get slightly concerned.”

“Oh,” Alec said, not knowing how else to respond.

“Something about the room's feng shui. Apparently this room has a positive aura all of a sudden,” the older man shrugged. “I don’t buy it of course, but I am still glad. I was truy worried that this room would never see another face.”

Alec sometimes felt the same way about the Idris library. Most students visited the place to study or gossip or sleep. Some even tried to make out but they never succeeded thanks to Ms. Gray. Alec wished more people would visit the place just to read a good book.

“I am sure Magnus invites his other friends here,” Alec reassured the older man.

“Magnus has never invited anyone in here,” the tall man replied. “Sure he invites the entire school for parties and study sessions. But he has never brought anyone to the library. He knows this is my personal space.”

“Oh,” Alec said again.

“You must be something special,” the man smiled.

Alec tried his best not to blush as he shrugged. “I just love to read. Nothing special.”

“ _One does not love breathing_ ,” the man smiled.

“Harper Lee,” Alec smiled back, recognizing the quote immediately.

The man’s smile got wider. “What have you got there?”

Alec showed the cover of his book.

“Ah, this old chestnut,” he chuckled. “I read it for the first time when I was your age too.”

“Are you a fan of the classics, sir?” Alec asked.

“I wouldn’t call myself a fan. Of course I enjoy Hardy and Dickens and Austen – any romantic would. But I’ve never got into other classics much.”

“ _Classics_ ,” Alec chuckled. “ _Books people praise and don’t read._ ”

“Mark Twain,” Magnus’ father grinned.

It was bizarre how easy it was to talk to him. Alec didn’t really like talking to strangers much. Well, that’s not true. He actually hated talking to strangers. It was mostly because he had always felt that they didn’t understand him – and he couldn’t really understand them either.

Every time he spoke to someone he didn’t know – someone whose thoughts and feelings he couldn’t predict or decipher – he felt this aching anxiety. He always worried that he might say the wrong thing or misinterpret their meaning.

Talking to strangers was literally a chore – and one you didn’t get paid to do.

But talking to Magnus’s father was an entirely different experience. The conversation followed smoothly and without effort.

Alec wasn’t afraid. Alec was excited.

It was as if they spoke the same language. Well, technically they did. But it was so much more than that too.

“What kind of books do you like to read, sir?” Alec asked.

Usually, he hated asking questions because they dragged conversations – but this time he couldn’t stop himself.

“You can call me Mr. Bane,” the man smiled. “I actually prefer plays and poetry. I do love novels but I always felt like plays and poetry had more action. The pace is much quicker.”

“Shakespeare and Wordsworth?” Alec guessed.

“Marlow and Coleridge,” Mr. Bane winked.

“I love Marlow!” Alec gushed. “I like Arthur Miller more though – and Keats of course. I’ve read all his work.”

“Keats,” Mr. Bane sighed dreamily. “He is such a precious gem. There are so many good ones. Frost, Poe, Cummings, Neruda. I could keep going all day. I don’t think I would have pursued a career in poetry if it wasn’t for these gems.”

“You’re a poet?” Alec gaped.

“Well, I teach poetry at NYU,” Mr. Bane shrugged modestly. “But yes, I am a poet too.”

The normal response here would have been to say something nice and appreciative – because Alec knew that it is no small feat to be a lecturer at NYU.

But he couldn’t help but let the laughter escape through his lips. Mr. Bane looked rather confused, but that amused grin was still there. 

“I am sorry,” Alec apologized immediately. “I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just that…Well, you are a poet and-”

“And what?”

“Well, it’s just hard to believe Magnus is your son,” Alec chuckled.

“Oh,” Mr. Bane nodded in understanding. “You’ve read Magnus’ poetry then?”

Alec just nodded, grinning like an idiot.

“My condolences,” Mr. Bane said gravely and Alec laughed again.

“He told me that you said his poetry is great,” Alec informed the other man.

“Well, what can I say?” Mr. Bane shrugged. “I am a better father than a critic.”

Mr. Bane walked towards the large mahogany desk next to the window and sat down in the chair behind it. There was a moment of silence during which he observed Alec - as if he was trying to read Alec just like he would read a book in the room. 

“So,” he said, a little awkwardly as he removed his coat. “How long have you been dating Magnus?”

Alec choked on air. “Wha-I’ve never-We are not…You are w...I thin..I am not…He is just…There is no-”

Apparently the other man had deciphered Alec’s incoherent stammering.

“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. It’s just Magnus has never brought anyone here before and he hasn’t written poetry for anyone in a long time.”

“I was having a bad day. So, Magnus kindly offered the space here because he knew it would cheer me up.” Alec said quietly. “And he didn’t write the poem for me. It was for….a school project.”

“Of course,” Mr. Bane nodded seriously. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to offend you or make you uncomfortable.”

Alec shook his head quickly. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I just…I was caught off guard is all.”

They were both quiet for a minute and Alec couldn’t help but hate himself.

He had done this. He had ruined the conversation with by being his stupid, awkward self.

“You never told me your name.”

Alec looked up and realized Mr. Bane was right. Oh for god’s sake!!

“Alec,” he said quietly. “I am Alec Lightwood.”

“Well, Alec Lightwood,” Mr. Bane said with a smile. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Huh?”

“You mentioned you were having a bad day,” the man elaborated. “Is everything alright?”

“Um, yeah,” Alec said, wishing he could facepalm himself. “I am okay. I just miss my family.”

“Oh.”

“My parents are divorced and my little brother lives with my father in London,” Alec said, leaving out the painful backstory that had let to the current events.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Mr. Bane said quietly. “You live with your mother?”

“Yeah. And my brother and sister. They go to Idris High too.”

“That’s nice,” Magnus’ father smiled. “You know it’s alright to miss your family – or a part of it. Don’t feel bad about it.”

Alec nodded quietly. He didn’t know what to say. Actually that was a lie. He did know what to say. He didn’t want to say it. He wasn’t very good at talking about his feelings. He didn't want to dump his issues on Magnus' father - whom he had only met for the very first time just a five minutes ago!

“I am sorry I freaked out before,” Alec said instead – because he was very good at apologizing for everything. “I-I don’t want you to think I was offended because I am...not okay with being gay or anything.”

“I don’t think Magnus would have invited you over if you were,” the other man smiled. “It’s alright, Alec. I didn’t think of you that way. Magnus has plenty of straight friends too. I keep forgetting that.”

“I am not,” Alec confessed – because it was starting to get really difficult to keep it to himself anymore.

“Pardon?”

“I am not straight,” Alec explained.

“Oh.”

“And I do like Magnus,” Alec said, even though he _really_ didn’t have to. “I like him a lot.”

“Oh,” he said again – clearly taken back.

“Yeah,” Alec shrugged.

Even though he didn’t have the guts to admit his feelings to Magnus, apparently he had the courage to admit them to Magnus’ father.

His life was a goddamn joke at this point.

“Does Magnus know?” Mr. Bane asked softly.

“He knows I am gay. I told him last week.” Alec offered. “But he doesn’t know that I lo…Please don’t tell him.”

“I won’t,” he replied immediately. “Only you get to do that.”

“Thank you,” Alec whispered.

“Are...Are you worried he won’t return your feelings?” the man asked hesitantly. “Because I think-”

“I am not out yet,” Alec interrupted. “Not in school. No one knows except for Magnus and my siblings. Also my literature teacher, he knows – and now you.”

“What about your mom?”

His mom...

“I-I don’t know how to tell her,” Alec confessed. “I just…I don’t know how she’ll react.”

“Is she…” the other man hesitated.

“She loves me,” Alec said without hesitation. “She really does. But I am not sure if she will love me when she finds out I am gay.”

“Why do you think so?” Mr. Bane asked. “Why do you think she won’t love you if you come out?”

 _Because she wouldn’t be the first one to feel that way_ , Alec wanted to say.

“I don’t know,” Alec said instead. “Maybe I am just paranoid.”

Magnus’ father got up from behind the table and walked over to the couch. He sat opposite Alec, on the arm of the large sofa.

“ _You loved me – then what right had you to leave me?_ ”

“Emily Brontë,” Alec smiled weakly at one of his favorite quotes by Heathcliff, clutching the copy of Wuthering Heights in his hands a little tighter.

“If you truly believe that your mom loves you, then she won’t hate you,” the older man said quietly. “Nothing you tell her about yourself should make her hate you – certainly not something that is a part of who you are.”

“But what if she does?” Alec asked, mostly to himself.

He had been asking this question to himself over and over - agonizing his heart and soul.

“Then maybe she never really loved you in the first place,” Mr. Bane replied, but not unkindly. “A parent’s love can never be conditional, Alec.”

He didn’t know what to say. So he stayed quiet, staring at the copy of Wuthering Heights.

“But I understand your fears. My generation…We are not really equipped to handle change or difference – not that it is any excuse. Sometimes it can be hard to process new information – even about the people you love...Especially about the people you love. We are used to the idea of that person. We create this image of who they are. Some we have a hard time accepting the fact that this image is not permanent - that it is ever evolving.”

Alec knew this well. But knowing this did not make him feel any better.

“I can promise you that your mom won’t hate you. I know I don’t know your mother. But I can promise you that she won’t ever stop loving you. Despite how she might feel about you, she will never hate you.”

“How do you know?” Alec asked the older man. 

“Because there is nothing in the world Magnus could do that would make me hate him,” he smiled. “It’s both a blessing and a curse. Now you see why I love his poetry.”

A small chuckle escaped Alec’s lips.

“Mr. Bane,” he said hesitantly. “If he…I mean if she leaves…Do you think she’ll ever come back?”

The other man thought for a moment.

“I do,” he smiled. “Those of us who like to read…We believe in beauty and goodness and happy endings. So even if someone leaves, I think one day they might come back.”

“So until then…I wait?” Alec asked.

“You live,” he replied. “You live your truth. It’s not easy to do. And it is an incredibly brave thing to do. But as they say, it will set you free.”

“I want to be free,” Alec whispered. “And I want to be brave.”

“I think you are already brave,” Mr. Bane smiled. “You know who you are and you’ve accepted yourself. That’s really brave of you.”

“But I haven’t told m-”

“It doesn’t matter who knows or how many people know,” the man interrupted. “It’s the same truth. It’s your truth. You have accepted it and you live it – every single day. I think that makes you really brave.”

“I-” Alec stammered. “Thank you.”

“And um,” Mr. Bane scratched his head awkwardly. “About that bit about Magnus….”

Alec, who had completely forgotten about that confession, suddenly blushed scarlet.

“Just give him some time,” the older man smiled. “For someone so smart he can be incredibly oblivious sometimes. He gets both from his mother.”

“She was a scientist, right?” Alec asked with a smile, remembering that night in the school bus when Magnus had talked about her for hours.

“She was,” Mr. Bane smiled.

Alec didn’t know that you can see how much a person loves another person through such simple gestures. The smile on Mr. Bane’s face literally lit up all his features – reminding him more of the boy downstairs.

“Can I ask you something?” Alec said hesitantly, fidgeting with the frayed ends of his sweater.

“Of course.”

“How did you…” Alec started and wondered how to phrase his question. “When you lov… you like someone who is so different…How do you make it work? I am worried that when there are no similar interests that it might…you know?”

Mr. Bane only laughed at that.

“Do you know about Sir Humphry Davy?” he asked and Alec could only shake his head.

“Humphry Davy is one of the most renowned chemists . He was known for isolating elements in the 18th century. If you ask Magnus, I am sure he would talk about him for hours.”

Alec couldn’t see the point of this conversation. But he also loved listening to Magnus talk about chemistry. So, he made a mental note to ask him later.

“When I met Anna…Magnus’ mother…Well, she wasn’t really a bookworm, you see? And I was not interested in chemistry or science. Despite my intellectual capacity and poetry skills, it was difficult for me to impress her - and trust me, there were lot of people trying to impress her."

Alec could only relate. 

"And that’s when I found out about good old Humphry. You see, Humphry was not only a chemist but also a poet,” Mr. Bane continued. “He didn’t get to publish most of the things he wrote, much like your friend Emily over there. But he did write a lot of poems about nature and science and life. So, I read all his work – every single one.”

Alec made another mental note to read his work. Maybe it will help him understand Magnus' passion better too.

“It didn’t magically make me love science of course. But it did help me understand what Anna saw when she looked at the world. I never really understood her when she explained her love for science and went on those little rants. But when I read Humphry’s poems, I just got it. It was as if we spoke the same language.”

Alec exactly knew what he meant. He had understood so many things about life better by reading about them. He understood people better because of books. He was able to recognize emotions better because of his favorite characters. Books made him empathetic. His characters made him kind.

“Anna and I…We both started researching about his work more. It was kind of our thing. It brought us together. He was a brilliant fellow, you know? So lively and full of life – and absolutely bonkers. Anna used to say Magnus reminded her of our dear old Humphry. They are both full of color and energy – like fireworks in the sky. When she was pregnant, I wanted to name our son after him but thankfully Anna stopped me.”

Alec laughed at that. He didn't think Magnus would have liked being called Humphry.

“So we named him Magnus instead after Magnesium – after Anna found out that the element was isolated by our favorite poet and chemist.”

“That’s really sweet,” Alec smiled.

“What I am trying to say is,” Mr. Bane stretched his arms and stood up. “We look at arts and science as two things that are completely different from each other. As if they are polar opposites. But arts and science...They have more similarities than differences.”

Does that mean he has more in common with Magnus than he realized?

“Artists and scientists – they both believe in the power of creation. They see things that most people are blind to. They bring beauty into the world. They are mad and brilliant and full of life. So, don’t be worried about being different from Magnus. You two have more in common than you think.”

"Do you think Magnus would like it if I show him some of Sir Humphry’s poetry?” he asked, trying not to focus on the fact that he was literally asking tips from Magnus' father to impress Magnus.

“Hey, that’s my move!” Mr. Bane laughed. “You need to come with your own! Besides, you know poetry is not Magnus' strong suit.”

Alec pouted slightly. What move could he possibly come up with? He didn’t have any moves!

“I’ll think of something,” he smiled nevertheless as this was progress. “He doesn’t really read anything – not even the new ones.”

“That might actually be a blessing. Some of these new books are quite concerning,” Mr. Bane grimaced. “My students asked me to read twilight and I must say…Well, it wasn’t very good.”

“Ha ha,” Alec laughed awkwardly. “Yeah those books are the worst.”

Mr. Bane didn’t have to know Alec was already on his way towards Breaking Down. It was his guilty pleasure – sue him.

“I am sure there is something he likes to read,” Mr. Bane said thoughtfully. “Maybe those comic boo-”

“Alexander, do you want te-” Magnus asked as he came into the library and stopped in his tracks. His eyes narrowed. He looked from his father to his…friend.

"Hello, Humphry!" Mr. Bane greeted Magnus. 

Alec giggled at that and Magnus raised a brow. 

“Do not believe a word he says,” Magnus immediately warned Alec.

Alec chuckled. “So I shouldn’t believe that you are full of color and energy – like fireworks in the sky?”

“Daaaaad,” Magnus whined. “Stop embarrassing me in front of…my friend.”

“I was just stating facts,” Mr. Bane chuckled too and raised his hands in surrender.

Magnus walked over to his father and gave him a hug. “Do you want tea?”

“Yes please,” the older man smiled as he dropped a kiss on top of Magnus' head. “Alec?”

A part of Alec was so happy to see Magnus like this – so relaxed and comfortable and happy. For the first time, Magnus seemed like any other 16 year old. He seemed like just another kid.

But another part of Alec, a part he hid from everyone else, clenched in pain. He realized that he could never have this again. He could never hug his father or make him tea or be embarrassed when he made lame jokes.

“I think I should go. It’s getting late,” Alec said as he got up. “Thank you for letting me borrow your book.”

“You know what? Why don’t you keep it? I rarely ever read it anymore,” Mr. Bane said.

“I-I can’t,” Alec stammered. “Mr. Bane, this is a first edition!! I can’t. I don’t deserve it.”

“Think of it as a gift from a new friend,” the older man offered. “For being brave.”

Magnus looked at them skeptically. “Being brave?”

Alec’s eyes widened and he signaled Mr. Bane not to say anything.

“Alec mentioned he read your poetry. It takes a lot of courage to do that,” Mr. Bane grinned.

“Daaaaad,” Magnus whined again and Alec couldn’t help but laugh.

“ _It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else_ ,” Alec quoted.

“Erma Bombeck,” Mr. Bane winked at him.

“Thank you, Mr. Bane,” Alec smiled and placed the book carefully in his backpack.

“Jesus, how many more books do you have in there?” Magnus gasped, looking at Alec’s backpack. “You came to visit the library and yet you brought so many with you?”

“ _Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them,_ ” Mr. Bane told his son.

“Lemony Snicket,” Alec grinned.

“Get outta here, ya nerds,” Magnus shooed as he led Alec out of the room.

“It’s my library,” Magnus’ father yelled after them.“You can’t tell me what to do, baby panda.”

“Daaaaad,” Magnus whined as Alec laughed.

They walked down the staircase quietly, their hands brushing against each other. Alec wanted to hold it. He wanted to kiss it. He wanted to never let it go.

“Are you feeling better?” Magnus asked when they reached the front door.

“So much better,” Alec smiled. “Being with you always makes me feel better.”

“I wasn’t even there,” Magnus chuckled, resting his head against the doorframe.

 _You are always there with me_ , Alec wanted to say but held himself back. It was too cheesy.

He just smiled instead. “But you were right. The library did make me feel better.”

“Told ya,” Magnus winked.

“I think there is some serious feng shui in that room,” Alec teased as he walked towards the gate.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Alexander,” Magnus waved at him. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and banish my father to hell.”

Alec smiled to himself and walked towards the main road. It wasn’t dark yet so Alec decided to walk home. There was so much to think about it - and he didn't mind the darkness right now.

It was one of those moments where he knew what he had to do and how he to do it. All that was needed was for him to…do it.

He just had to do it.

Just like most things in life, it wasn’t the act itself that terrified him – it was the aftermath.

Coming out to his mother or confessing his feelings to Magnus – he wasn’t scared of that. But he was terrified of his mother hating him or Magnus not returning his feelings.

Because there is no backup plan for things like that. He didn’t know what he would do if either of them walked away from him.

So Alec kept walking.

He was halfway through and the sky hard gone dark when he heard the persistent honking behind him.

“Alec!!!”

He turned to see his mother inside the car, looking terrified.

“Alec, get in right now,” she ordered and Alec quietly complied.

“I am sorry I left Jace and Izzy all alone at home,” Alec mumbled quietly.

“You are not their babysitter, Alec,” his mother sighed tiredly. She looked tired. “Jace and Isabelle can take care of themselves.”

“I am sorry,” Alec said again.

His mother just sighed tiredly again and started driving. The atmosphere in the car was painfully unfamiliar.

Every time Alec had wanted to come out his mother, they had been in an open space. So when the need to spill the truth got intense, he would just leave.

But right now, being inside the car with his mom…He had never felt more trapped in his life.

His mind kept going back to that one quote from Wuthering Heights - the one that spoke to him on a spritual level. 

_“I am tired of being enclosed here. I am wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there: not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart: but really with it, and in it.”_

Alec could almost feel himself in the character’s shoes.

He was so tired and so weary of yearning and aching.

He wanted out.

He wanted to be a part of the world – be with it, and in it.

The words were at the tip of his tongue.

He wasn’t sure if he was ready but he knew was he running out of time.

He exhaled hard and let the words out.

“Do you hate me?”

It was a good thing he had remembered to fasten his seatbelt as Alec’s whole body jerked forward when his mother slammed the break.

His mother’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly and she took in a deep breath. They were only a few feet away from the house. The road seemed to be deserted as usual and Alec suddenly wished he was home with his siblings - or anywhere else. 

But he also wanted to get this over with right now. He couldn't hold it together anymore. He could feel himself crumbling through the cracks. 

“Do you hate me?" he asked again, his nails digging into his skin. He didn't want to show his nervousness. He didn't want her to see how terrified he was of her answer. But there was no answer. Just silence. He wondered whether he should take it as quiet confirmation.

“You do hate me,” Alec said quietly as he unfastened his seatbelt.

“Of course I don't hate you,” his mother said, her voice uncharacteristically loud. “Sorry I hesitated. I was just…Alec, why in the world would you think that?”

Alec stayed quiet.

“I know…I know I haven’t been around a lot,” his mother confessed. “I know I spend a lot of time at work. I haven’t been going to Jace’s games or helped Izzy with her homecoming outfit or listened to you talk about the latest book you are reading. But it is not because I hate you. I could never hate you – any one of you. You kids are my whole world.”

Alec held back his tears.

He wasn’t going to cry. He will not cry!!

He knew that his mother’s heart broke every time one of them cried – he had learned as much during the first few months after the divorce.

“Do you…Do you wish I was different?” Alec asked instead. 

He wanted to elaborate. He really did. But the words kept eluding him.

“I wish you were happier,” his mother sighed. “I wish I knew what to do. I just want you to be happy. That’s all I want.”

Alec closed his eyes and curled his palms into fists, willing them not to shake.

“Would you still love me if you knew everything about me?" he asked her. He had never heard his voice sound smaller or heart beat faster.

She removed her seatbelt and turned around to face him. Her hand reached out to his face and pushed his hair back. 

“Why do you do that?” the words slipped out. “Why do you keep doing that to my hair?”

His mother chuckled softly. They were both quiet for a moment.

“Do you know why Jace is obsessed with avocados?” his mother asked and Alec stared at her.

“Because they have 20 vitamins and minerals in every serving,” Alec parroted the answer he had heard Jace say at least a hundred times.

His mother just smiled. “You know, before he became a part of our family, Jace lived with his distant relative.”

“Mr. Herondale,” Alec nodded.

“Yes,” she nodded back. “He used to live in Wales – and that’s where Jace was for a while. William wanted to keep Jace and take care of him but Stephen wanted Jace to grow up with us.”

“How long was he there?”

“About a few months,” his mother answered. “When your father and I heard about what Jace had gone through in his foster homes…we expected to see this tiny child who was anxious and closed off. But when we went to Wales to meet him for the first time…Oh, Alec. I had never seen a child more bright or confident.

It did sound like Jace.

Alec had always believed that unlike most babies, Jace came out of the womb smiling and winking.

“When I met him, he held my hand by his tiny fingers and took me to the garden. We sat under this massive avocado tree and Jace told me a story about a falcon or an eagle or a raven – I am not sure. He kept mixing it up. He told me one story after another. I later found out that William used to read to Jace every single morning under that tree.”

It did sound like Mr. Herondale. 

He took every opportunity to inspire young people to read and explore the world of fiction.

"I am glad Jace had Mr. Herondale," Alec said quietly. "He is a good guy."

"He is," his mother nodded. "He even moved to New York so he could keep an eye on him."

Alec was genuinely surprised to hear that. He knew Mr. Herondale cared for Jace - but he didn't know he cared this much. 

“I think…I think his time in Wales...It was the time when Jace was truly happy for the first time in his life,” his mother said, her voice full of emotion. “Those must be the only happy memories from his early years.”

Alec wanted to get out of the car and run home so he could hug Jace. He wanted to hold his brother and promise him that no one was ever going to hurt him again.

“People have a tendency to go back to their fondest memories because it makes them feel safe and happy. Not all of us are fortunate enough to have a life full of happy memories. So, we hold onto the few that we have.”

“So that’s why Jace loves avocados?” Alec asked. “Because they…offer him reassurance?”

“I think so,” his mother said. “But I'm pretty sure he genuinely cares about the vitamins bit too.”

Alec smiled weakly. One day, when Alec was a successful writer and had a lot of money, he would buy Jace an avocado farm – a place where his brother could grow old and make more happy memories to last a lifetime.

“It’s like Izzy and the Beatles,” Alec said out loud after a minute.

“Hmmm?”

“Izzy listens to the Beatles all the time,” Alec explained. “She used to dance with dad to Twist and Shout bec-”

“Because it was your father’s favorite band,” his mother finished sadly. “Oh, Isabelle.”

Alec knew that his father’s departure had hurt Izzy the most. He had tried to take her with him and she had been so confused about her decision. She loved Max to bits and she had always been daddy’s little girl.

He had been genuinely surprised when she had told the judge that she wanted to be with their mom. Since she was old enough, the judge had taken her preference into consideration when decidng on the custody.

He still remembered crying on her shoulder when she had later told him that she had stayed back so that she can be there for Alec.

“I can’t leave you,” she had whispered into his shoulder. “You need people you can be yourself with. You need me. I am not leaving you.”

Even though she had always been angry at their father for “breaking their family apart” and being a “cheating asshole” – he knew that she missed him a lot. She had loved him more than anyone and he couldn’t blame her for it.

“We all have our habits of comfort,” his mother said quietly. 

Alec remembered Magnus wearing his mother’s sweater last week. He remembered being lost in the library with a copy of Wuthering Heights not so long ago.

“When you were around two, I was kind of going through a crisis – at work. We were defending someone who…Well, he wasn’t a good guy. You know how when people go through a tough time, they take it out on their hair for some reason?”

Alec nodded, thinking about the time when Jace had briefly dyed his hair black when Idris Angels lost their worst ever match.

“Well, I got bangs,” his mother confessed.

Alec made a face and his mother laughed. He missed that sound.

“Yeah you weren’t a fan of it back then either,” she reminisced fondly. “You would crawl into my lap and push away the bangs every single time you saw me. You would say ‘mama no!’ and push it back.”

“I am sorry,” Alec apologized on behalf of his two year old self.

“I am not,” his mother said. “Because after you would push it away from my face…You would look at me and smile – like I was your whole world. You would smile at me and kiss me and laugh with me and then say something totally unintelligible to me. It was the only thing that kept me going.”

Alec realized then that every time his mother pushed his hair back she relived the memory. It was her habit of comfort.

The fact that he brought his mother comfort made his heart clench. It was all he wanted for her.

He wondered if he could continue to provide her that comfort if she knew him – the real him.

“Before I had you, I was in a bad place. I was so utterly lost. I did things I am not proud of. Defended people I shouldn't have. I did things I never want you to do.”

Her hands reached out to his and held them tightly together. She had held his hands many times before when he needed it. But this time, it seemed like she needed it more.

“But when I had you, it was suddenly as if I knew what to do. Despite all the confusion, you were the only clear thing in my life. Despite all the pain, you brought me happiness. You were the only thing that mattered. I didn't know if you were a boy or a girl. I didn’t know your name or the color of your eyes. But you were the only thing that mattered.”

Alec held his breath. She still hadn’t answered his question.

“What I am trying to say is that...I loved you when I knew nothing about you. And I will continue to love you despite knowing everything about you. So, whatever you say doesn't matter to me. It won't make a difference.”

_It won’t make a difference._

Alec decided to trust her – as he always had and let the words out.

“Mom, I am gay.”

It took her a couple of seconds to process what he had just confessed. Then a gasp escaped his mother’s lips and her hands flew to her mouth.

“Oh no,” she said.

 _Oh no_ , Alec thought.

Tears were streaming down her face and Alec wanted to reach out and wipe them away. But he wasn’t sure if she wanted him to touch her.

“I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry,” she kept saying.

“Mom,” Alec said, he could barely hear himself.

“How could I have missed it?” she asked. “How could I have missed it?”

“Mom, I am sorry.”

“No,” she said sharply. “Don’t you ever be sorry! I am the one who is sorry. I am sorry I missed it. I am sorry I didn’t notice. How long, Alec? How long have you been keeping this to yourself?

“I…Since middle school,” Alec confessed.

“Oh,” she exhaled. She sounded like she was in pain. “Oh, Alec. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to keep this to yourself. Do Jac-”

“They know,” Alec whispered. He realized what he had done and worried if they would get in trouble because of him.

She wiped away her tears, even though they kept coming. “I am glad they knew. I am glad you had someone.”

Alec didn’t know to say or do. He didn’t know he was feeling – because he didn’t know what she was feeling.

“I was so focused on making you happy…I didn’t realized I was making you sad the whole time,” she sobbed.

“I…I am not sad,” Alec lied.

“You are not happy either,” she said. “I am sorry I didn’t notice. I am sorry I wasn’t there for you. God, I can’t believe I am making this about myself. I am so sorry.”

Alec suddenly realized where he got his habit of profusely apologizing from. it almost made him smile. Almost.

“Mom, it’s okay,” he said. “Look at me, it’s okay. I am okay. You were busy. You barely had time to breathe. You had to make a living – for us. It wasn’t your fault. You are a great mom.”

A small laugh escaped her mouth and Alec was suddenly confused.

“I am sorry…I just…I am supposed to be the one consoling you,” she said and Alec smiled lightly this time.

“I am always here for you, mom,” he promised quietly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Alec looked away then.

“Alec,” she said. “I have never given you any indication that I would…Why did you think that way? Why were you so scared?”

He kept looking out of the window, holding his tears back. “I don’t know. I was just scared.”

“No,” she said seriously. “This kind of fear doesn’t just happen. You were terrified of coming out to me. Alec, look at me.”

Alec turned to face her and then look down. He couldn't look her in the eye.

“Dad knew.”

He heard his mother gasp at that. “He knew?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper. “You told him?”

Alec shook his head. “He found out. He walked in when I was watching…something.”

He still remembered the moment so vividly. It had been his first time watching porn. No one had been home so Alec had been curious and terrified and excited – all at the time.

He remembered using the kids’ laptop. He remembered playing a video. He remembered his father calling his name. He remembered how his heart had stopped when he saw his father by the door, looking shell shocked. He remembered his father walking out.

“What did he say?” she asked quietly. Something told him that she already knew the answer.

“Nothing,” Alec whispered.

He had said absolutely nothing. He hadn’t said a word at the time – or even later.

That had been precisely the problem. Alec had expected his father to shout at him – or even hit him. But there had been no reaction at all.

A few moments ago, his mother had been sad and guilty and shocked and surprised – experiencing a whole spectrum of emotions.

But his father had felt nothing.

It was as if his father had believed that if he was quiet, maybe they could pretend like it never happened – like it wasn’t true.

Like it was a fever dream – or worse, a nightmare.

It was as if he believed that if they didn’t talk about it, maybe it would go away.

“Your father loves you,” his mother whispered.

“I know, mom,” Alec smiled weakly.

He had always known that. 

“But I don’t think he loves all of me,” Alec confessed. “I thought…I thought you might feel the same.”

He had always believed that his father loved him. He had believed that his father would love him forever. So to learn that it was possible for someone to just stop or love you less...It had broken him. He had been terrified that it would be the same with everyone in his life.

“Is…Is that why you didn’t tell me?” his mother asked nervously. "Because you thought I wouldn't accept you?"

Alec stayed quiet now.

Of course he had been terrified that she wouldn’t accept him. He had been terrified that she would stop loving him or maybe love him less.

But it hadn’t been the only reason.

He was more afraid of something else.

“Alec, talk to me,” his mother begged. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to leave,” Alec whispered, blinking the tears away. “Dad found out and then he left. He left with Max. I don’t want you to leave too. Please don’t leave, mom.”

“Ale-”

“If you want to leave, you have to take Jace and Izzy with you. They need you. You can’t abandon them like dad did.”

“Alec, look at me,” she said forcefully. Her blue eyes were burning brightly at his glassy ones. “I am never leaving you – or Jace or Izzy. Never. Do you hear me?”

“But dad did. He left because I am gay and I s-”

“Alec, your father didn’t leave because of you. He was in love with som-”

“But it must have meant something, right? He would have stayed if I was…He would have stayed.”

“He wouldn’t have,” his mother said. “He wouldn’t have stayed for anything.”

How could she know? How could she possibly know that?

“I know it hurts but that’s the truth. Our divorce had nothing to do with you.”

“I could have stopped him," Alec said quietly. "I should have tried."

“How? How could you have stopped him?”

“I don’t know, mom. I could have dated a girl or promised him I’ll never do anything or…I don’t know. I could have done something!”

“He left because our marriage was over. You couldn’t have saved it. It was not your job to save it. You don’t have to do anything for your father to accept you and love you and support you.”

“But I-”

“You don’t have to earn anyone's acceptance Alec,” his mother touched his cheek. “We accept people for who they are. We love people for who they are. Your father...He should accept you for who you are. He should love you for who you are.”

Alec let the words settle into his heart. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy at all.

“Do you think he’ll ever visit us again?” Alec asked softly. "Will he ever come back?"

He remembered Magnus' father telling him that people who leave always come back. But like Alec, he was deluded by fantasy and his optimism. He wanted to know what his mother thought - because he knew she would never lie to him.

“He will,” his mother promised and Alec tried his best to believe it. “You kids mean everything to us. I know we didn't always act like it, but you are. Robert is just…He is just a little lost. So, let him find his way back to us. I know he will.”

“Okay,” Alec whispered. “What about you?”

“What about me?” his mother asked.

“Do you…” he wanted to ask if she still loved him but was worried of what she might say.

“Are you okay with...this?” he asked instead.

“I am okay with it,” she said without hesitation. “But for the record, it shouldn’t matter if I am okay with it or not. This is who you are. You shouldn’t change that for anyone.”

“Do you…”

 _Ask her. Ask her!_ his heart screamed. _Ask her if she still loves you._

But he didn’t. He was terrified of knowing the answer.

It was clear that she accepted him. But acceptance and love are not the same thing. Just because someone accepts you for who you are, it doesn’t mean they love you for it.

“Do you see me differently now?” he asked instead.

“Because you are gay?”

Alec just nodded.

“I don’t see anything different,” she smiled and pushed his hair back again. This time, it brought Alec a little comfort too. “I look at you and I just…I just see the boy who loves books more than breathing. I see the boy who is not just a brother but also a parent. I see the boy who really hates bangs.”

A small chuckle escaped Alec’s lips.

“It doesn’t matter who you are attracted to,” she said, holding on to his hand. “I look at you and I see Alec. I just see my son.”

Alec squeezed her hand, blinking really fast so he wouldn't cry. He tried to smile. But it was so hard. His lips protested against him. They seeked reassurance. 

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Alec said after taking in a deep breath. “I was just scared. I wish I had been braver. I wish I had been stronger.”

“You are so brave,” his mother smiled. “I look at you and all I see is strength.”

Alec closed his eyes, willing the tears to go away.

He was strong. He knew it now.

It was so easy to convince yourself of the truth when the truth came from people who loved you. For some reason, it was easy to believe those who loved you than to believe yourself.

In that moment, Alec realized he was finally free. He realized he could finally be himself – without holding anything back for anyone.

“I am sorry I kept the real me hidden from you all this time,” Alec apologized.

He had always felt guilty for keeping his real self from his mother. He had always felt bad for lying to her – and misleading her.

“Alec, you have always been real to me,” his mother replied. “Just because others didn’t know, it doesn’t mean that you weren’t real. You knew, didn’t you? Then that’s it.”

Alec slouched back on his seat a little and rested his head on her shoulder.

“This doesn’t change anything,” she whispered to his head. “You’ve always been the same person. And I love that person. I love him so much.”

Alec lifted his head. “Y-You love me?”

“So much,” she said again. 

He smiled back – and it was neither weak nor difficult this time. It was so easy.

He rested his head on her shoulder and they stared at the abandoned street ahead them. Alec could see the lights in their home. A place where he could be himself from now - without boundaries or lies or heartaches. He wondered if Jace and Izzy were still awake. He wondered how they would react to this.

They stayed that way in the car, with their heads resting together, for god knows how long when his mother coughed awkwardly.

“So, um,” she started. “Is there someone...special?”

Alec smiled to himself. Some things never change.

“Nope,” Alec said, but he was grinning.

“I can see your face in the mirror, you liar,” his mother replied. He could hear her grinning too. “Who is it?”

“He is no one,” Alec shrugged.

“Ha! I knew there is someone!” his mother exclaimed triumphantly. “Tell me everything! Is he handsome?”

Alec closed his eyes and pictured Magnus. He could see Magnus smiling – that shy smile he only had when he was around Alec.

“He is the most beautiful person I have ever seen,” Alec breathed out.

“Oh wow,” his mother chuckled, her shoulders shaking. “Did you meet him in your book club?”

“He doesn’t like to read,” Alec chuckled back. “I don’t think he has ever been to a book club.”

“Oh wow,” his mother said louder this time. “And you still like him?”

“I think I love him,” Alec confessed, not raising his head to meet her eyes.

His mother kissed the top of his head. "He must be really special.”

“He is,” Alec agreed.

“Well, I can’t wait to meet him,” she said and Alec could literally feel the excitement in her body.

And then it all hit him.

I hit him that this was his reality now. This was _his_ life.

He can come out in school. He can confess his feeling for Magnus. He can kiss him. He can hold his hand. He could write him poetry and leave notes in his locker. He could make out with him in the elevator. He could walk him to class. He could love Magnus Bane.

And everything he had been holding in since morning just poured out. The first tear escaped his eye and the rest came running.

His mother lifted her head and Alec could see that she was worried.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “What are you crying?”

Alec couldn’t be bothered to wipe away the tears.

“Nothing. I just…” Alec said between sobs. “I am…I am just so happy, mom.”

And he really was. He didn’t think he was capable of feeling happiness like this. He didn't think he would ever get to feel so calm and safe and peaceful - and good god he felt so happy. 

He felt like his heart about to burst from how happy he was right now.

His mother smiled and tears started streaming down her face too. She pulled him into a hug and held him close.

“Me too, sweety.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMLT was created after that last chat between Alec and Maryse came to me one day while I was doing god knows what. This scene between a mother and her son led to this whole goddamn fic and so this is obviously my favorite chapter.
> 
> I hope you liked it too. Come find me on tumblr @ khaleesiofalicante.
> 
> I can't give you a date as to when I'll update but I'll try my best to do it by the end of this month. Till then, stay safe and remember that you are loved - regardless of your sexuality, crazy haircuts and poetry skills. Dani <3
> 
> Fun fact: During his experiments, Sir Humphry Davy became addicted to nitrous oxide and in his notebooks observed that it might be an effective anesthesia in surgery. (This dude is smart af)


	10. Physics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You two are ganging up against me,” Magnus gasped. “I cannot wait to get Isabelle on my side so we can roast Alec’s ratty sweaters and your ridiculous white suits.”
> 
> “I don’t know who Isabelle is,” his father said. “But bring it on, baby panda!”
> 
> “On a serious note, can you please stop telling Alec all these embarrassing things about me?” Magnus begged. “It’s already hard enough to woo him! I don’t need him knowing embarrassing stuff like about the time I tried to hijack a hot air balloon!”
> 
> “Oh, but that’s such a hilarious sto-”
> 
> “No,” Magnus said firmly.
> 
> Locked rooms, Second thoughts, Crowded libraries and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I am late but as always - my inefficiency comes with a 10k+ compromise. 
> 
> This chapter got unnecessarily emo. Oop-
> 
> Happy reading :)

He was leaning against his locker and going through his notes one last time when he heard someone call his name.

“MAGNUS!”

Normally, he would have recognized the voice in an instant – considering he spent hours thinking about it. Magnus used to imagine what his name would sound like in Alec’s lips. But he didn’t have to imagine anymore. He knew what it sounded like and he loved it.

He loved the way Alec said his name. It always sounded like a prayer or a promise – sometimes even both.

But today Alec’s voice sounded nothing like that. It sounded nothing like him. It was loud and urgent.

Magnus looked up from his notes to see the other boy running towards him. Amused and confused faces stared at Alec as the blue eyed boy crushed Magnus with a hug.

“Oof,” Magnus said, trying not to fall off due to the sheer force of Alec’s hug. “Are you alright?”

“I came out to my mom,” Alec whispered to his shoulder.

Magnus pulled back immediately and scanned the other boy’s face. “How did it go?”

A grin broke out and light up the whole of Alec’s face. Magnus half wished Clary was here so she could paint it.

“It went _really, really, really_ well,” Alec answered.

Magnus couldn’t help but grin back, his heart soaring for Alec. 

“I am _really, really, really_ glad,” he replied.

For a stranger, Alec wouldn’t have looked much different. But Magnus could see it. Alec was smiling with his whole face. There was a subtle lightness in his posture, as if someone had removed all the giant, heavy books from his backpack.

But Magnus knew it wasn’t that. Alec no longer had to carry his secret. He was free of a giant, heavy burden. Not for the first time, Magnus realized the difference acceptance from a parent can make in a child.

“You are wearing colour,” Magnus smiled, pointing at Alec’s light blue sweater which brought out his eyes perfectly.

“Yeah, don’t get used to it,” Alec warned him, although he was still grinning. “Izzy wanted me to wear something colorful and she can be really-”

“Persuasive?”

“Manipulative,” Alec chuckled.

“How did Jace and Izzy take it?” Magnus asked, trying not to smile at the fact that Alec was still holding on to his shoulders.

“There was a lot of shrieking and crying,” Alec informed him. “And then Jace let Izzy come into the room.”

Magnus laughed. “I am really happy for you, Alexander.”

“Me too,” Alec smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”

Magnus wanted to hold his face and promise Alec that he deserved all the happiness in the world. But he wasn’t sure if that was an acceptable thing to do to a friend/partner-in-crime. Besides, they were in the middle of the hallway.

“Are you going to come out to the school?” Magnus asked quietly, suddenly aware of the other students.

Alec bit his lip. “I don’t have to, right?”

Oh.

Magnus hadn’t thought about that. He had assumed that Alec would come out to the school once he was ready to come out to his mother. Does this mean Alec was worried about the reaction of other students? The students at Idris, with the exception of a few assholes, were all accepting and pretty chill.

Idris High was big on supporting LGBTIAQ students and had a zero discrimination policy. They even decorated the hallways during pride month and there were multiple students who were out and proud – including Magnus himself.

So, he wondered why Alec was hesitant.

“I am not scared or anything,” Alec added quickly, probably reading the concerned expression on Magnus face.

Well, that was a relief. Magnus didn't want Alec to be worried - about anything at all. Not anymore. 

“I just…I don’t see the point in coming out to everyone. I mean, I am definitely telling Maia and Aline,” Alec continued. “But the others…No one really announced they were straight so why should I announce that I am gay? Does...Does that make sense?”

It made total sense. Magnus himself had not come out to the school per se. Most of them had assumed and had got their official confirmation when Magnus dated Imasu. Besides, it wasn’t like anyone cared.

“Yes, it does,” Magnus nodded. “They’ll know when they know.”

“Thanks for understanding,” Alec smiled. “It took me 20 minutes to convince Jace. He was planning on doing a whole number with the cheer squad.”

Magnus chuckled at that and Alec visibly relaxed.

“You know, I never came out in school either,” Magnus offered to make the other boy feel better. “I just started dating and they got the message.”

“Hmm,” Alec nodded thoughtfully. “I suppose they’ll know when I start dating too. Maybe I’ll take someone to prom.”

“Cool, cool, cool,” Magnus replied eloquently.

He had always wanted to go to prom with Alec and considering they were both seniors and this was their last chance…Magnus really hoped Alec wanted it as much as he did.

“Speaking of dating,” Alec started slowly. “Are you ready for Operation Clace?”

“Oh my god, you said the name!” Magnus gasped. “I am really digging this new vibe, Alexander!”

“Like I said, don’t get used to it,” Alec repeated with a cheeky grin. “I am just high on happiness right now. I might go back to my usual boring self in a couple of days.”

“There is nothing boring about you,” Magnus replied without missing a beat.

“Does that mean you are finally ready to discuss the theme of duality and moral reconciliation in Wuthering Heights?” Alec asked, his eyes expectant and hopeful.

“Uhhh, sure,” Magnus blinked. “That sounds…fun!”

Alec’s eyes twinkled for a second and he broke out in laughter. “Oh my god, your face!!!”

“Alexaaader,” Magnus whined. “That wasn’t funny!!”

“It was a little funny,” Alec chuckled. “I’ll see you outside the chemistry lab during third period? You sure it will be empty?”

“Yep, I checked the schedule. It’s going to be empty. I already asked Clary to meet me there to discuss something important. Jace will be there, right?”

“He will,” Alec nodded. “He has been trying to make me rank the hottest hunks at Idris.”

“That’s a ridiculous game,” Magnus said in an offended tone. “But just out of curiosity…Who would you say would be on top of that ridiculous list?”

Alec stared at him for a minute and then shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about it much.”

“Oh, please!” Magnus rolled his eyes.

“Don’t you have an exam to get to?” Alec asked, tapping the notes in Magnus’ hand.

“Oh shit! “ Magnus swore realizing he had a chemistry test in ten minutes. “Gotta go! I’ll see you during third period!”

“Good luck!” he heard Alec yell as he ran towards the chemistry lab.

By the time he reached the room, all students were already there including his best friend.

“You ready?” Catarina asked, smiling nervously.

“Yas, girl!” Magnus replied with a wink. “We are gonna kick this exam in the butt!”

“You are more enthusiastic than usual,” Catarina chuckled fondly. “Everything alright?”

“Everything is PERFECT!” Magnus grinned. “And that’s spelled with a capital P and a capital E and-”

“Alright, I got you,” Catarina giggled. “Good luck!”

“You too, kitty cat!” Magnus blew her a kiss.

Alec’s happiness was contagious. Magnus couldn’t stop grinning as he answered the questions. He couldn’t stop grinning even when he handed over the paper to Mr. Branwell and the man had given him a worried expression. He had even skipped all the way to calculus class. He didn’t even mind when Raphael had hit him on the head with his backpack when Magnus had tried to waltz with the younger boy in the middle of the hallway.

The fact that Alec was out now opened Magnus to so many new opportunities. He could finally ask Alec out. They could go to prom together. They could spend time together without needing a reason. They could focus a little more on themselves and a little less on Jace and Clary.

By the time he got to the chemistry lab during third period, Alec was already there talking to Jace.

“Magnus!” Jace exclaimed in delight. “Mark Blackthorn – yea or nay?”

Magnus blinked at the random question.

“I already told you yea, Jace!” Alec rolled his blue eyes. “Of course, Mark is going to be on the top of-”

“You think Mark is hot?” Magnus interrupted.

“You don’t?” Alec raised a brow.

“Uh…I’ve never really thought about it,” Magnus shrugged.

It was a lie. Mark was hot – everyone in the Blackthorn family was hot. It was common knowledge. Magnus didn’t mind talking about how attractive Mark was considering he had done it several times with Catarina. However, it wasn’t really a topic he wanted to discuss with Alec. Ugh, what was that disgusting feeling in his stomach?

“Look, all I am saying is that there is no way Mark is above Kieran,” Jace frowned, pointing at the piece of paper which was no doubt a list of hot boys. “That dude has blue highlights for fuck’s sake! How dope is that?”

“I can see Mark being above Kieran,” Alec stated adamantly, not knowing he was right in more ways than one.

“While this conversation is no doubt scintillating, I think we should talk about more pressing matters,” Magnus interjected again, not wanting the plan to be distracted by stupid Mark and his stupid broad shoulders.

“Right,” Alec said awkwardly.

Magnus was about to apologize, he didn’t know for what exactly, when he saw Clary walk towards them. He noticed Jace immediately stand up straighter as he crumpled the piece of paper and hid it inside his jean pocket. Clary’s eyes widened when she saw the blonde boy but she kept walking towards them anyway.

“Hey, Magnus!” she greeted him nervously. “What do you need my help with?”

“Why don’t we all go into the lab and then I'll tell you?”

“Uh, okay,” she said and walked into the lab.

Alec yanked Jace back by his leather jacket. “Say something to her, idiot!”

“Like what?” Jace asked helplessly.

“Why don’t you just say hi?” Magnus suggested, sympathizing with the blonde boy’s panic.

“Okay, I can do that,” Jace said and patted himself on the chest. “I can say hi.”

“I have never been more stressed in my entire life,” Alec said as Jace walked into the lab.

“You drama queen,” Magnus chuckled as they walked into the lab together. “He is gonna do great. He is Jace for god’s sake!”

Clary was seated behind the bunsen burner and Jace was leaning awkwardly against the table.

“Hi, Clary!” Jace said, in what was probably the creepiest voice Magnus had ever heard.

 _What the fuck_ , Magnus mouthed at Alec and the other boy face palmed.

“Hey, Jace,” Clary said awkwardly, clearly concerned.

“Alright okay, here is the plan,” Magnus intervened before the plan could go any more down south. “Alexander and I want your help to plan a surprise party for Isabelle’s birthday.”

“But Izzy’s birthday is in May,” Jace said in a confused tone. "That is months away!"

“And I don’t know her at all,” Clary pointed out, equally confused.

“Guys, where is the enthusiasm?” Magnus asked exasperatedly. “Jace, party planning is all about details! To be honest, we should have started months ago!”

“Magnus said you are really good at design and décor, Clary,” Alec smiled at her awkwardly. “I thought maybe we could use your help.”

Jace and Clary stared at each other for a minute – although it seemed slightly longer than that.

“Alright,” they both said at the same time and Magnus high fived Alec under the table.

“Okay why don’t you two think about the theme,” Magnus suggested coyly. “Alexander and I will go grab us something to eat.”

“Why are we at the lab though?” Jace asked. “We could have met the cafeteria instead.”

“Because the lab has doors, Jace!” Magnus threw his hands up in exasperation.

“What Magnus means to say is the lab is more private,” Alec elaborated calmly and smoothly. “You know Izzy. She has ears everywhere. So, we must be careful.”

“I guess you are right,” Jace chuckled. “Alright, let’s plan a party.”

“Okay,” Clary smiled, looking slightly more excited about the prospect.

“Perfect. We are just gonna keep this door closed,” Magnus smiled sweetly as he left the lab with Alec. “Because you know…It’s a secret plan.”

“Top secret,” Alec nodded at Jace and Clary vehemently as Magnus closed the door.

He quickly took the keys out from his pocket and locked the door as quietly as possible. Luke would probably be pissed if he knew Magnus was misusing school property while also setting up his daughter in the process. But some things were worth the detention.

“Oh my god, it’s happening!” Alec said as they walked towards the staircase.

“Alexander, we did it!” Magnus grinned. “It only took us 84 plans, but we did it!”

“I know you are exaggerating but god it feels like we’ve been doing this forever,” Alec laughed. “What do you think they are doing in there?”

“Do you really want to know?” Magnus smirked.

“Actually, no,” Alec shook his head as they reached the end of the hallway. “What now?”

“Well, we’ll wait here for around 15 minutes and then go open the door. I am pretty sure something must have happened by that point,” Magnus said, crossing his fingers.

“Okay, cool,” Alec smiled as he sat down on the staircase, opened his backpack and of course pulled out a book.

“Oh, I know this one!” Magnus exclaimed excitedly, pointing at the title. “I’ve seen the movie!”

“Of course you have,” Alec grinned and passed Magnus the copy of Brokeback Mountain.

Magnus flipped through to the end and traced his fingers through the last line.

_"There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it, you've got to stand it."_

Magnus turned the book over and stared at the cover. The copy seemed older and more used than most books Alec carried.

“I used to be worried about reading queer books in school,” Alec said quietly. “So, I don’t own a lot of books like that – just this one. We studied it for lit class and that seemed like a safe excuse to read queer literature.”

“People wouldn’t have assumed you were gay just because you were reading a book about gay guys,” Magnus replied softly.

“I know,” was all Alec said.

He didn’t have to elaborate. Sometimes fear was more powerful than any rational thought – and the fear being outed could sometimes be so crippling that it dictated every decision you made.

“You can read as many books as you want now,” Magnus pointed out with a smile.

“I know,” Alec said again, but there was a slight smile on his lips now. “Mom said she will buy me some this week.”

“I know I said it before,” Magnus started. “But I am really glad things worked out well with your mom.”

“Thank you, Magnus,” Alec smiled.

Then there was a sudden silence – not the comfortable kind that they used to have but a really awkward one. It was as if they both wanted to say something but were waiting for the other to make a move.

Magnus had always been a leader and not a follower. So, he decided to make a move. He could say something eloquent and romantic. He could even ask Alec out for prom. He was smooth.

“So…Mark, huh?” Magnus asked.

Okay maybe he had overestimated his smoothness because this was the last thing he wanted to talk about.

“What?” Alec blinked.

“Nothing,” Magnus said quickly, wanting to bang his head on the wall.

“I don’t really know him well,” Alec commented after a minute.

“But you think he is hot?”

“I…I suppose,” Alec shrugged a little. “Everyone seems to think so anyway.”

“Mark is so stupid,” Magnus muttered under his breath, his jealousy getting the better of him.

“What?”

“I said Mark is so sexy,” Magnus said quickly, not wanting Alec to think he was being petty and jealous.

“Oh,” Alec said, looking surprised. “I didn’t know you thought of him like that.”

“I didn’t know _you_ thought of him like that,” Magnus countered.

“I didn’t...It wasn’t-” Alec stammered. “Do you want to talk about boys?”

Magnus was startled by the question. No, he didn’t want to talk about boys with Alec. It was literally the last he wanted to do right now.

“Do _you_ want to talk about boys?” he asked Alec.

“I…I don’t know,” Alec bit his lip. “I thought you did and I…Never mind.”

And there it was again – the awkward silence.

It had never been like this with Alec before and Magnus worried if this was what it would be like now that they no longer had to talk about Jace and Clary or come with ridiculous plans.

Magnus could have asked Alec out long time ago. But he hadn’t been sure if Alec was gay. But his biggest barrier had actually been the fact that he had nothing in common with Alec. The present awkwardness was a perfect indication of their incompatibility.

But come on! They should have something in common right? Something other than wanting Jace and Clary to be together?

He wondered if his theory was right or whether he was just depressingly desperate at this point.

He almost hoped that something would go wrong inside that chemistry lab so they could carry on with Operation Clace. Magnus quietly chastised himself for that horrible thought. He really did want Jace and Clary to be happy and together.

“Can I have your dad’s number?”

Magnus looked up at Alec and blinked.

“What?”

“Can I have yo-”

“No, I heard you,” Magnus interrupted. “I mean…Why do you want my dad’s number?”

“I found some stuff online that I think he might like,” Alec explained. “I can email it to him if you don’t mind sharing his email address.”

“What stuff?” Magnus raised a brow. “Can I see?”

“It’s some poetry stuff. This boy in my book club shared it on our whatsapp group,” Alec replied. “I am not sure if you’ll like it though.”

His theory that they must have something in common slapped him in the face and laughed at him for being a fool.

Alec was looking at him expectantly. He had noticed the easy familiarity that had emerged between his father and Alec last night. It was the same he had with Mr. Fell or Mr. Branwell. It was the comfort of knowing that you are understood, even when you speak in a language so unique to your passions.

He remembered Alec being so happy after talking to his father. He didn’t know what they had discussed last night – his father hadn’t told him anything since Magnus had gone back to studying with Catarina. But he could only assume that they had talked about books and poetry and a million other cool, sophisticated topics that Magnus wouldn’t understand.

What else did they have in common to talk about? Why else would have made Alec so happy?

Magnus was sad and he was of course jealous. He was sad and jealous and angry that he couldn’t make Alec smile like that. He was disappointed that he didn’t know how to make Alec happy.

But despite all the ugly emotions, a part of him was glad to see Alec happy. He was glad Alec had someone to talk to – even if it wasn’t him. Alec deserved to be happy and Magnus didn’t care who was responsible for it.

“Of course you can have his number,” Magnus smiled at the other boy weakly and texted him his father’s contact.

“Thank you,” Alec smiled when his phone binged. “I hope I wasn’t crossing a line or an-”

“No, no,” Magnus said quickly. “I am glad you guys are…friends?”

“He gave me a first edition of Wuthering Heights, Magnus,” Alec reminded in awe. “I think he is the best friend I have. Don’t tell Jace.”

Magnus was about to tease Alec for his questionable loyalty when he noticed someone standing in front of them.

“Hello, Alexander,” the boy said.

Magnus recognized the exchange student immediately. First of all, did the French have no manners barging into a conversation like that? Second of all, who the hell gave him the right to call Alec as Alexander???

“Uh, hi?” Alec said awkwardly.

“I just want to say your sweater matches your eyes,” Leon Verlac pointed out, all smiles and smoothness.

Alec looked down at his sweater and frowned. “Um, thanks?”

“I think blue is your colour,” he said in an infuriatingly attractive French accent.

“Oh, okay?” Alec said, looking rather baffled.

“I like the fabric too,” Leon grinned, running his hand over Alec’s arm. “Maybe you could tell me where you bought it? Or maybe you could show me sometime?”

Magnus wanted nothing more than to punch the red-haired, freckle-nosed French bastard right in the face.

“Um, I don’t really know,” Alec shrugged. “My sister bought it for me. I can ask her if you want.”

What was happening???

“Oh, Merci!” Leon Verlac smiled brilliantly, showing all his perfect teeth. Magnus tried not to think about knocking a couple of them down. “I am new here so I don’t really know where to shop.”

Why don’t you Google it like the rest of us, you sneaky little shit?

The red-haired boy quickly wrote down something on a piece of paper and gave it to Alec. “This is my number. Text me when you find the place, yes?”

“Sure,” Alec smiled and put the number in his pocket.

The boy thanked Alec again and left after giving Magnus a wink.

“Are you seriously going to text him?” Magnus gaped.

“Uh, not right now,” Alec said. “I need to ask Izzy about the shop first.”

Oh, Alec – what a naïve, newborn baby.

“Alexander, he was flirting with you!” Magnus explained exasperatedly.

“He was?” Alec’s eyes widened.

To be honest, Magnus shouldn’t be surprised that Alec was this oblivious. He had been flirting with Alec for weeks and the other boy had no idea.

Alec chuckled suddenly. “This feels weird.”

“What feels weird?”

“Boys flirting with me,” Alec replied. “I am not even properly out to everyone yet. Jace was right – news travels fast in Idris.”

“Are you okay with people knowing?” Magnus asked quietly.

“I mean I expected people to know,” Alec shrugged and then chuckled again. “I didn’t expect them to give me their numbers.”

In that moment Magnus realized something more horrible – something far worse than not having shared interests.

Magnus realized that Alec had options.

Now that Alec was out, he no longer had to just talk with Magnus. He could talk with any boy. He could _be_ with any boy.

He looked at Alec and realized the other boy could have any one he wanted. He was smart and kind and beautiful and passionate.

Maybe that’s why things were suddenly awkward between them. Maybe Alec had realized that he could do better than Magnus.

Alec would probably choose something exotic and mysterious like Leon Verlac. Maybe he would choose someone strong and handsome like Mark Blackthorn. Maybe he would choose someone from his book club – someone who probably didn’t fall asleep reading a book and could discuss the themes of his favorite book.

“Magnus, are you okay?” Alec asked, bringing Magnus back to the present.

“Uh, yes,” Magnus replied, feeling not okay at all.

The copy of Brokeback Mountain felt heavy and weird in his hands – as if it didn’t belong there. Magnus passed it back to Alec quietly.

“Did you like the movie?” Alec questioned after a while, breaking the silence.

“Yeah. Heath Ledger was hot,” Magnus commented because unfortunately he was not his father and therefore couldn’t talk to Alec about the deeper themes or symbolism or whatever.

“He did make a good Ennis Del Mar,” Alec nodded.

“Ennis Del Mar,” Magnus snorted. “That is such a pretentious name.”

“Really?” Alec questioned with a smirk. “More pretentious than Magnus Bane?”

“Hey!” Magnus complained. “At least it’s not as pretentious as Jace!”

“That’s not pretentious,” Alec chuckled. “Also, that’s his nickname!”

“Wait, really?” Magnus asked. “I didn’t know that.”

“I don’t think a lot of people do actually,” Alec pointed out. “His real name is Jonathan Christopher. Mom named him Jace for short and we stuck with it.”

“Huh,” Magnus said. “That’s weird. Clary has a brother called Jonathan Christopher.”

“Really?” Alec raised a brow. “I didn’t know Clary had a brother. I’ve never seen him.”

“He is not here.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s rather a sad story,” Magnus said rather reluctantly. “Clary’s mom lost him at a carnival when he was a baby and they never found him again.”

“So Clary has never met him?”

“No. They lost him in London,” Magnus explained. “And they moved to New York after a couple of years when Clary’s mom divorced her dad.”

“Huh,” Alec said. “That’s weird. Jace was in London when he was little. He was in a foster home before he was found by a distant relative.”

They both stared at each other and nodded sadly before their eyes widened at the same time.

“NO SHIT!” Magnus gasped. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???”

“No, no, no, no,” Alec mumbled. “That is imposs…This can’t be right! Ugh, gross! They can’t be siblings.”

“You’re right. You’re right,” Magnus nodded. “It’s just a stupid coincidence. Although…”

“Although what??”

“Clary’s once told me she was glad she inherited her mother’s red hair cause she would have been a terrible blonde,” Magnus shared nervously.

“That means her birth father is blonde,” Alec said in shock. “Magnus, you know who else is blonde?”

“I know, Alexander!!!”

“Oh, god! What have we done?” Alec whispered.

“We tried to set up a brother and sister???” Magnus answered the rhetoric question to his own horror.

“And then we locked them up in a ro-”

“Alexander!” Magnus gasped in realization. “We locked them up in a room!!!”

“Yeah, I know! That’s what I was-”

“ALEXANDER,” Magnus said more urgently now. “We locked them in a room. Alone. Together.”

Alec looked at him incredulously and Magnus could see the exact moment Alec realized his implication.

“HOLY SHIT!” Alec almost shouted. “WE NEED TO OPEN THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW.”

Magnus didn’t need to be told twice. They both ran towards the chemistry lab and Magnus fumbled with the keys in his sweaty palms.

“Oh my god! Open it!!” Alec yelled.

“I am trying!!” Magnus yelled back.

They pushed the damn thing open to see Jace and Clary sitting next to each other – much closer than before.

“So, Clary,” Jace was saying in a much smoother voice now. “I was wondering if you’d like to go-”

“TO GO TO CLASS!!” Alec shouted from nowhere startling everyone in the room.

“Alec?” Jace asked, looking confused.

“Clary, you should go to class,” Magnus said more calmly. “You have already spent your free period doing this for us and we don’t want to keep you any longer.”

“Oh, but I don’t min-”

“And you!” Alec pointed at Jace. “I need to talk to you.”

“Does it have to be right now?” Jace asked – looking rather annoyed.

“You will thank me later,” Alec replied and yanked his brother away from the stool. Jace desperately waved at Clary as Alec hauled him out of the class.

“What was that about?” Clary asked confused, waving at Jace.

“Um, nothing,” Magnus shrugged nonchalantly. “I think Jace was right. Maybe it’s too early to plan this party. Rain check?”

Clary frowned and then shrugged. “Okay.”

“Sorry for wasting your time,” Magnus apologized – feeling guilty and like a massive idiot.

“It wasn’t a waste,” Clary smiled. “We came up with vampire theme. I know it sounds a bit Halloween-y. But Jace said red and black are Izzy’s favorite colours. Also, apparently she has a thing for vampires. What do you think?”

Magnus stared at her. “You two actually came with a theme and everything?”

“Uh, yes?” Clary said in a confused voice. “Isn’t that what you told us to do?”

“I mean yeah but I thought you t-”

“Magnus,” Clary frowned at him. “What did you think we were doing?”

“Nothing,” Magnus said quickly. “I am just glad nothing happened!”

“What do you mean nothing happened?” Clary waved her notebook at him. “We came with a really cool idea!”

“Of course,” Magnus patted her on the head and Clary glared. “Excellent work, biscuit. I’ll keep you posted about the next meeting.”

“Okay, I am gonna go find Simon,” Clary grinned as she walked out of the class. “He knows more about this vampire stuff anyway.”

“Hey, Clary!” Magnus called after his friend.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a totally random question?”

“Uh, sure?”

“Do you remember your birth father’s name?”

He noticed Clary visibly flinch at the mention of her birth father and Magnus felt awful.

“I am so sorry,” Magnus apologized immediately. “I didn’t mean to make you-”

“Valentine Morgenstern,” Clary replied.

“Clary, I’m so-”

“It’s alright, Magnus,” she smiled. “He lives in Europe now. He can’t hurt us anymore.”

“I am glad,” Magnus smiled back. “See you at lunch break?”

“See ya,” She waved and walked off to class.

Magnus slumped on the stool and let the familiarity of his favorite room in school comfort him. He wished he could just lock the door and spend some time messing around with the chemicals. Maybe it would help him forget about the fact that he had been trying to setup Clary with someone who could turn out to be her brother. Maybe it would help him forget about the fact that he didn’t stand a chance with Alec.

You know what? He could do just that. The room was empty for the rest of the period and Magnus needed somewhere to mope around.

He walked over to the door and was about to close it when Alec walked in.

“Where is Clary?” Alec asked, looking around.

“She left,” Magnus said tiredly. “Don’t worry, nothing happened. They actually came with party ideas.”

“Yeah, I know,” Alec replied. “Jace told me about it before he angrily stormed off for ‘cock blocking’ him.”

“Ugh,” Magnus shuddered. “He should be glad we did that!”

“Magnus,” Alec said worriedly. “I don’t think they are siblings.”

“What?”

“I maybe have forgotten to consider this at the time...but Jace’s father died when he was a baby,” Alec pointed out. “So, I don’t think it could be possible.”

“Oh,” Magnus said when he remembered Clary’s birth father was still alive. “So, Jace’s last name is not Morgernstern?”

“No, it’s Herondale. I mean, it’s actually Lightwood,” Alec replied. “But yeah his father was Stephen Herondale. He is a distant relative of my literature teacher.”

“Oh,” Magnus said again worriedly and then smiled a little. “I am so glad Jace is a Lightwood and not Lannister.”

“I, uh, I don’t know what that means,” Alec chuckled awkwardly. “But I am assuming you meant ‘I am relieved we didn't support incest.”

“That is exactly what I meant,” Magnus sighed and slumped against the wall.

He thought about what he had done today - about how he had almost brought Jace and Clary together and then had ruined it. He thought about what he had been doing for the past few weeks and his frown deepened. Of course, the whole gig had been fun and exciting. But who was he kidding, he would have never done something like this if it didn't mean that he would get to spend time with Alec.

In other words, Magnus would have found a much safer and more ethical way of bringing Jace and Clary together if he wasn't in so in love with Alec. 

He had lied to Clary. He had lied to Jace. He had even lied to Alec in a way. It wasn't the kind of person Magnus wanted to be. It wasn't the kind of person Alec should be with.

Magnus suddenly felt sick. He realized what he had done. 

“Maybe this…This whole Operation Clace thing was a mistake.”

“What?” Alec blinked.

“I mean, we have been trying to set them up together for weeks now!” Magnus pointed out in frustration, not being able to tell Alec the whole truth. “It should have worked by now. Maybe they are not meant to be together.”

“But you said they were soulmates!!” Alec exclaimed.

“Maybe I was wrong, Alexander,” Magnus replied. “It seems I was wrong about a lot of things.”

“I…I don’t understand,” Alec looked helpless. “Does this mean Operation Clace is over?”

“I-I think so,” Magnus nodded. “I don’t think we can force something that is not there.”

“Are you talking about Jace and Clary?” Alec asked quietly.

“I mean any couple, Alec,” Magnus said. “But yes. Also Jace and Clary. I mean, look at what we did today? We lied to them to set up them and then lied to them again to separate them.”

The shock on Alec’s face showed that he realized he might have hurt his brother’s feelings.

“But the plan-”

“There is no point in making any plan if they are not into each other,” Magnus pointed out.

“But what if they are?” Alec bit his lip.

“If it’s meant to happen then it will happen,” Magnus said – not knowing what else to say.

He wanted to apologize to Clary. He was tired of lying. He was tired of hoping.

“I…” Alec stared. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Alec smiled slightly. “I believe in soulmates. So, alright. If it’s meant to happen then it will happen.”

“You are not mad I wasted your time?” Magnus asked nervously. 

“I spent it with you,” Alec smiled. “That’s never a waste.”

Of course Alec would say something so kind and thoughtful like that to make Magnus feel better.

“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus tried to smile.

“I have to go to class,” Alec hovered next to the door. “But, um, I…I got you something.”

Alec opened his backpack and took out a square-shaped box, neatly wrapped in blue paper with a black ribbon.

“This for you,” Alec pointed at the gift with his chin.

“Is this some kind of parting gift?” Magnus tried to joke as he took the gift from Alec – because he honestly didn’t know what to say.

“No, no,” Alec said quickly. “This is for being so supportive and nice and…You know.”

No, he didn’t know!

“I wanted to thank you for everything you did and said in the last weeks. It got me through a lot of stuff,” Alec continued. “So, I made this last night.”

“Last night?”

“Yeah,” Alec nodded. “After I spoke with my mom and then spent some time with Jace and Izzy…I couldn’t go to sleep. I was thinking about y- you know, stuff? So, I made this for you.”

“You made it?” Magnus gaped and Alec nodded. “What’s inside?”

“You have to open it to find out, Magnus!” Alec chuckled. The bell rang and the other boy sighed tiredly. “I’ll see you, later? Let me know if you like it, okay?”

“Okay,” Magnus said and carefully put the gift in his own backpack.

As the next period and the one after that passed, Magnus got more and more anxious. So nervous that Mr. Fell had to pull him out of class and ask him if he was alright. Magnus had assured the older man that he was just feeling feverish.

How Magnus wished it was just fever.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Alec and the failed mission and everything that had gone wrong. On top of all this – there was that goddamn gift. Magnus wondered if it was a book. Something told him it was and he promised himself that he would do his goddamn best to read it – for Alec.

“Alright, what is up with you today?” Catarina questioned during lunch break. “You acted like it was Christmas in the morning and now you are acting like they cancelled Brooklyn 99!!”

“They did cancel Brooklyn 99 at one point though,” Clary pointed out, munching on her salad.

“Clary, you are not helping!” Catarina rolled her eyes. “Magnus, was it the exam? I thought it was fairly easy.”

“It wasn’t the exam,” Magnus mumbled.

“Then what is it?” Clary asked softly. “You’ve been weird the whole day.”

Magnus winced at the third period debacle. “Clary, I am sor-”

“Hey, I told you it was okay! Honestly, I had fun,” she shrugged, a small blush gracing her cheeks. It only made Magnus feel worse. “What’s up with you?”

“Is this about Alec?” Catarina asked.

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked, trying not to sound obvious.

“Well, you’ve been…kind of close lately,” Catarina said carefully. He wasn’t sure whether she knew yet or not, but he respected the fact that she valued Alec’s privacy. “Did something happen?”

Magnus wanted to tell her everything. He knew Catarina would not be pleased about his little scheme and would give him hell about the whole thing. But he needed his best friend right now. He needed someone.

But of course he couldn’t talk to her since Clary was sitting right there. He wanted to talk to Clary privately and apologize for being so callous about her feelings. He didn’t want to make her feel awkward. He also didn’t want both girls to shout at him at the same time.

It wasn’t like he could talk to them about his feelings for Alec either. He didn’t want to look like a fool now that he wasn't sure if Alec liked him or not.

So, he decided to divert their attention.

“Oh, is that from Alec?” Catarina smiled when Magnus carefully pulled out the gift from his backpack.

Magnus nodded as he stared at the gift in front of him – his fingers itching to open it.

“What do you think it is?” Clary asked, grinning from ear to ear.

Magnus honestly didn’t know. He couldn’t know remember the last time someone, who wasn’t his father, bought him something. Of course, he had got gifts for Christmas and his birthday. But no one had ever given him something because they appreciated him - not because of a commercialized holday. He was pretty sure no one ever bothered to make him a gift either.

He remembered last week when Alec had bought him the waterproof eyeliner – when Magnus had been scared to put it on and be himself. Alec could be incredibly sweet and effortlessly thoughtful that way.

“If this gift is even remotely sentimental, then it means he likes you,” Catarina said, with palpable excitement.

Magnus raised a brow. “Who told you that?”

“Good television,” Catarina winked. “Now open it!”

Magnus breathed out quietly and pealed the wrapping paper slowly. The color reminded him of Alec’s eyes and the walls in Magnus’ bedroom. He gently folded the wrapping paper and kept it aside because he was so gone for Alec Lightwood to save the goddamn wrapping paper.

“Is that a mason jar?” Clary scrunched her nose.

“I don’t get it,” Catarina pouted. “Is this some kind of ornament?”

There was a blue ribbon wrapped around the mason jar and the inside was filled with what looked like tiny paper scrolls. There was a small sticky note attached to the side with Alec’s achingly familiar handwriting. Magnus carefully removed the note to read it.

**“For making me believe in happy endings – Alexander”**

“Awww,” Clary and Catarina cooed at the same time and Magnus decided to ignore them.

He reached out and opened the jar carefully and took out one of the scrolls.

_**“But, in spite of these deficiencies, the wishes, the hopes, the confidence, the predictions of the small band of true friends who witnessed the ceremony, were fully answered in the perfect happiness of the union.”** _

**–Jane Austen, Emma**

A small smiled appeared on his lips and Magnus picked out another one.

_**“For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate.”** _

**–Albert Camus, The Stranger**

Magnus' fingers instinctively reached for another one.

_**“It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. “** _

**Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eye**

The smile stayed on his lips and Magnus didn’t think there was anything in the world that could wipe it off.

“What are these?” Catarina frowned at one of the scrolls Magnus had kept on the table.

“Final lines of each book."

“He gave you spoilers???” Clary gasped.

“Yeah,” Magnus grinned at her like an idiot.

“And you are happy about that?” Catarina raised a brow skeptically.

“Yeah,” Magnus continued to grin.

“There is no saving this one, Clary,” Catarina sighed tiredly. “He is a total goner.”

As his friends moved onto a new topic of conversation, Magnus stared at the mason jar in front of him. He thought of Alec sitting in his bedroom and writing each and every quote. He thought of Alec carefully wrapping the gift. He thought of Alec making all of this for him in one night because…

Because he cared for Magnus.

Magnus wondered if this meant something. Catarina had said that sentimental gifts mean more than just friendship.

Could she be right?

He put back the scrolls inside the jar and closed the lid carefully. He hugged the mason jar to his chest before putting it back into his backpack.

Magnus couldn’t stop thinking about Alec and his gift – even after he got home. He was lying across the couch - staring at the ceiling, clutching the mason jar to his chest and thinking about Alec when he heard the familiar voice.

“You’ve been hanging out here an awful lot lately.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Can’t a man study in peace?”

“First of all, you are not a man. You are a boy,” his father pointed out as he walked towards his table. “Second of all, staring into space and studying are not the same thing!”

“I am revising!” Magnus protested.

“Revising what?”

“Physics stuff?”

“What physics stuff?”

Magnus sat up and narrowed his eyes at his father. “Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle.”

Magnus' father narrowed his eyes back. “And what does this principle say exactly?”

“It states there is inherent uncertainty in the act of measuring a variable of a particle,” Magnus replied without missing a beat. “It’s commonly applied to the position and momentum of a particle. The more precisely the position is known the more uncertain the momentum is and vice versa.”

Magnus’s father blinked.

“Okay fine,” he sighed as he placed his suitcase on the table. “But I am still not buying it.”

“Why not?” Magnus retorted.

“Because people don’t usually cuddle mason jars when they revise physics,” his father pointed at his chest. “Unless this is some new study technique I don’t know about.”

“I was not cuddling it!” Magnus protested, even though he was totally cuddling it.

“So this mason jar has no connection to the fact that you have been staring at the ceiling for god knows how long?” his father asked skeptically.

“Nope,” Magnus replied.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” his father said suddenly and Magnus gave him a confused stare. “You’ve been spending a lot of time in the library, Magnus."

“That’s not a question, dad,” Magnus pointed out.

“Don’t sass me,” his father said, his tone slightly serious. “Are you alright? Is it…mom? Do you miss her?”

“Dad, I always miss mom,” Magnus smiled slightly. “But if I want to think about mom, I’ll be at her lab – not here. This room smells so...musky.”

“Ah, that smell of ink and paper!” his father smiled and took a deep breath in. “If you don’t like the smell, why do you spend all your time here then?”

“I told you,” Magnus answered exasperatedly. “It’s the feng shui!”

His father’s lips twitched lightly and he walked towards Magnus and sat down on the arm chair opposite the couch.

“I must say I rather like the feng shui,” his father commented. “I think the feng shui is good for you.”

Magnus tried not to smile and ignored his father's comment. 

“I am talking about Alec,” his father pointed after a moment of silence. “Alec is the feng shui.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Magnus laughed, but his nervousness stopped it halfway.

“Sayangku,” his father called him softly. “Talk to me.”

So Magnus talked.

He told his father everything – from Operation Clace to his feelings for Alec. His father listened quietly and patiently as Magnus told him what had been going on over the past few weeks.

“Say something,” Magnus whispered when his father was quiet.

“I am not happy about…Operation Clace,” his father said after a while. “First of all, it’s a terrible name for a project and Magnus - we don’t play around with feelings like that. Someone could have got hurt!”

“I know,” Magnus replied to his feet. “I am sorry.”

“I know you are,” his father nodded. “But you are grounded for the rest of the month. Is that understood?”

“But the month ends today,” Magnus asked, rather confused.

“Well then I guess you are grounded tonight,” his father shrugged.

“I feel like I deserve worse,” Magnus confessed.

“Your plan could have gone horribly wrong,” his father pointed out. “But you meant well. You wanted your friends to be happy. You just went about it the wrong way. Just don’t do it again, alright? I understand our friends need a little push sometimes. But there is a difference between a gentle nudge and shove. You need to remember that.”

“I am sorry,” Magnus apologized again. “Do you think Clary and Jace will get together without our help? That if it’s mean to be happen…”

“It will happen?” his father asked. “No, I don’t believe that.”

“Oh,” Magnus said.

“Love doesn’t just happen, Magnus. You need to work hard for it. If your friends have what it takes… then yeah. They might end up together all on their own.”

Magnus stared at the Mason jar in his hands.

“Do you…Do you think Alec and I…We have what it takes?”

His father cocked his head to his side. “How about you tell me what _you_ think? Do you think you two have what it takes?”

“I-I don’t know,” Magnus replied. “I don’t know anything. I just…I am supposed to have the answers, dad!”

“And why is that?”

“Because that’s what scientists have!” Magnus said exasperatedly. “Scientists have answers. But I don’t have any. I feel so lost, dad. I just have questions – and I keep making dumb mistakes!”

His father walked up to him and sat down on the floor by the sofa.

“No scientist had an answer in the beginning. All experiments begin with questions, don’t they? You are not lost, Magnus. You are just at the very beginning. You can’t give up. If you do, you will never get to the answer. You will never know how it ends.”

Magnus didn’t want to. He wanted to fight.

His father ran his hand through Magnus’s hair, like his mom used to. For a second, Magnus felt like his mother was in the room.

“You shouldn’t beat yourself up over your mistakes,” his father said softly. “Didn’t most scientists make their greatest discovery through mistakes?”

His father was right.

Sir Alexander Fleming had accidentally discovered penicillin when he threw away his experiments.

John Hops had accidentally discovered the pacemaker when he was researching about hypothermia.

Wilhelm Roentgen had accidentally discovered the x-ray machine when he was messing around with a cathode-ray tube.

There had been plenty of others who had been looking for something else and had discovered something wonderful and brilliant. Their mistakes had led to some of humankind’s greatest discoveries. Magnus wondered if the all the fail attempts at bringing Jace and Clary together would be worth it because one day it would lead to something wonderful and brilliant and great.

“You're right,” Magnus admitted quietly.

“Now let me have a good look at this," his father grinned as he took the mason jar from Magnus. He opened it and read one of the quotes, smiling at it fondly. He repeated it again and again until the smile turned into a small frown.

“Why did he give you the final lines of these books?” his father asked, looking confused.

“Because mom and I used to read them together,” Magnus smiled sadly at his father. “We could never get through a book so she would just read me the last line. I know you wanted me to read all the classics when I was small but I wasn’t interested - neither was mom. So, we just skipped to the final page and read the last line. Then we used to make up our own story about what happened to the characters. It was way more fun than reading the actual book.”

His father let out a laugh that was so genuine and pure, Magnus wanted to capture the sound in a bottle and keep it safe.

“God, I love you two cheaters so much,” his father sighed.

“We love you too,” Magnus smiled.

His father carefully placed the jar next to him on the floor.

“I told Alec about this a while ago. So, he made me this,” Magnus pointed at what was now his most prized posession.

“Damn, that boy has got some moves,” his father chuckled. “This is an incredibly sweet gesture, Magnus. So, why are you worried?”

“Because that’s who Alec is, dad,” Magnus confessed. “He is an incredibly sweet person. He would do something like this in a heartbeat and wouldn’t think of it as some grand romantic gesture. So, I don’t know what this means to be honest. He said it was to thank me for being supportive but _who_ does that? Who stays up all night making such a thoughtful gift for a _friend?_ ”

“I feel like you kids are making things unnecessarily complicated,” his father said thoughtfully. “You and your friends – you need to just be more honest and open. You are all in high school for crying out loud! You need more fluff and less angst in your life.”

“And you need to stop reading fan fiction online,” Magnus chuckled.

“No can do,” his father winked. “Magnus, just tell Alec how you feel. What’s the worst that can happen?”

His father said it like it was so simple – as it was a walk in the park. As if Alec’s response couldn’t change his life.

“Do you know about Schrodinger’s cat?” Magnus asked his father.

“Uh, well I know it’s about a cat,” his father said awkwardly and Magnus rolled his eyes.

“Schrodinger was a physicist who worked on quantum theory. He conducted a thought experiment with a cat to explain the flawed interpretation of quantum superposition.”

“Right,” his father nodded. “So, a science guy was messing around with a cat. I am with you, keep going.”

“Quantum mechanics essentially states that an object in a physical system can simultaneously exist in all possible configurations. But observing the system forces the system to collapse and forces the object into just one of those possible states. Schrödinger didn’t really agree with this.”

“Of course he didn’t!” his father rolled his eyes. “You scientists are stubborn as hell.”

“So, Schrödinger wanted people to imagine that a cat, poison, a geiger counter - which is a device that detects radiation -, radioactive material, and a hammer were inside of a sealed container,” Magnus continued anyway. “The amount of radioactive material was minuscule enough that it only had a 50/50 shot of being detected over the course of an hour. If the geiger counter detects radiation, the hammer would smash the poison, killing the cat.”

“Oh no!” his father gasped. “That poor thing!”

“But here is the thing - until someone opened the container and observed the system, it was impossible to predict if the cat was dead or not. So, until the system collapsed into one configuration, the cat would exist in some superposition zombie state of being both alive and dead.”

“Oh,” his father said after a minute. “Magnus, you know very well I love a good story about, um, explosives and cats and what not…but I don’t really see your point.”

“I don’t want open the container, dad,” Magnus sighed. “I am terrified of opening it and finding out what’s inside.”

His father looked at him thoughtfully. “Because you don’t know if the cat is dead or alive?”

“Because I don’t know if the cat loves me back,” Magnus confessed. “Until I open the container and find out for myself, I won’t really know the truth. Maybe the cat loves me or maybe the cat thinks of me only as a friend. Maybe it’s both! I don’t know and I don’t want to open the damn container because once I know what is real, either my life begins or it’s over forever!”

The room was quiet for a moment – neither of them said anything.

“I am talking about Alec,” Magnus pointed out after a moment. “Alec is the cat.”

“Yeah, I got that,” his father laughed.

Magnus tried to smile weakly at his father.

“But did you really have to take me through that awful story about a cat getting blown up to tell me you are worried about Alec not returning his feelings?”

“The cat might not be dead,” Magnus mumbled.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” his father smiled at him from the floor. “Cats love you, remember? Your mom and I couldn’t separate Chairman from you even with all that tuna.”

“But what if-”

“Magnus, I know you’ve been hurt in the past,” his father said softly. “I know people have taken your love for granted and broken your heart. But you can’t let that stop you from finding what is meant for you.”

In that moment, a worry entered his mind – something he had obsessed over in middle school. Something he could never really forget about thanks to one snake called Camille Belcourt.

“Dad, would you rather...,” Magnus swallowed nervously. “Would you rather…I date a girl? Do you prefer that?”

“Why does it matter?” his father asked him, looking confused.

“I don’t know,” Magnus shrugged. “Because I am bi? And I have a choice?”

“Magnus!” his father gasped. “Who told you that?”

“No one,” Magnus replied.

He could still remember Camille whispering into his ear that his father would never approve of Magnus dating a guy. She had told him that he wouldn’t be able to carry his family name or inherit his gorgeous eyes if he ended up with a guy. She had convinced him that his father would hate him.

Magnus knew that his father would never hate him. But as always, Camille’s poisonous words had latched onto some part of his memory and terrified him randomly. Just like the girl herself, her words were hard to get rid of.

“As a bisexual, I know you have a choice,” his father sighed. “But you can’t choose who you fall in love with, Magnus. No one gets to control that. In that sense, you don’t get to choose – just like the rest of us. Do you understand?”

Magnus nodded quietly.

“So if you love Alec, then go on and open that goddamn container,” his father said. "Cats get all nervous when you make them wait."

“Okay,” Magnus smiled.

“I know you might be worried that you two are...different,” his father said hesitantly. “But it’s nothing to worry about, okay?”

“Are you sure?” Magnus asked worriedly. “I mean, he is always reading about all these super romantic heroes. That goddamn Darcy dude! The bar is super high, dad!”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing you are 6’2,” his father grinned. “You’ve got this!”

“You think so?” Magnus asked. “You don’t think Alec cares about the fact that I can’t read his favorite books without getting my drool all over them?”

“First of all, please don’t make jokes about getting your drool on books. That isn’t funny,” his father said seriously. “Second of all, I am pretty sure he doesn’t care. Maybe he is worried he isn’t science-y enough for you.”

“First of all, that's not a word,” Magnus pointed out. “Second of all, as long as he respects my passion, I don’t care if he likes it or not!”

“Well, don't you think Alec would treat you the same way?”

“Oh,” Magnus said. “ _Ohhh._ ”

“ _If you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don't throw it away_ ,” his father said poetically. “Do you know who said that?”

“Nope,” Magnus shook his head. “I am pretty sure Alec does though.”

“I don’t think he does,” his father grinned. “That one is actually by Stephen Hawking.”

“Really?” Magnus said, surprised one of his favorite physicists could be so eloquent. Go, professor Hawking!

“The point is, it doesn’t matter what your passion is,” his father pointed out. “Everyone knows that love is important. Whether it’s Hawking or Hackworth, they all spoke of love. They knew of its power. So focus on what you have in common – which is the fact that you love each other very much - romantically or otherwise. If you do that, then you’ll be okay, alright?”

“Is that what you did with mom?” Magnus asked with a smile. “You focused on what you had in common?”

“Yep,” his father grinned. “I did write her some cheesy poetry – that worked too. Although, you should steer clear from that if you want this to work out.”

“It’s not that bad!” Magnus rolled his eyes.

“Magnus, I love you,” his father said earnestly. “But your poetry is the worst.”

“You two are ganging up against me,” Magnus gasped. “I cannot wait to get Isabelle on my side so we can roast Alec’s ratty sweaters and your ridiculous white suits.”

“I don’t know who Isabelle is,” his father said. “But bring it on, baby panda!”

“She is Alec's little sister. Also, on a serious note, can you please stop telling Alec all these embarrassing things about me?” Magnus begged. “It’s already hard enough to woo him! I don’t need him knowing embarrassing stuff like about the time I tried to hijack a hot air balloon!”

“Oh, but that’s such a hilarious sto-”

“No,” Magnus said firmly.

His father pouted. He picked up the mason jar from the floor and looked at it fondly. “You know…Anna would have loved Alec.”

Magnus’ heart broke.

His mom would have indeed loved the blue-eyed boy. He was sweet, kind and loved with all his heart. Of course she would have loved Alec.

“I think so too,” Magnus smiled at his father.

“Yeah?”

“I mean she liked you,” Magnus pointed out. “So there is no accounting for taste.”

“Hey, now!” his father protested.

“I used to always think that I would fall for someone like mom - cause I miss her so much sometimes. Someone who loved science as much she did – as much I do. I think I wanted someone like her in my life - like I was trying to fill a void. I know it's wrong and unfair. But I just...I miss her. So, I looked for someone like her.”

Magnus father smiled and caressed Magnus’ face softly.

“I know you look like me,” his father said softly. “But everything you are on the inside – all your passion and kindness and colour…It’s all her. It’s all Anna.”

Magnus smiled at his father. “Well, maybe not everything. I am a little like you too.”

“You think so?” his father asked surprised.

“It has been pointed out several times, mostly by Raphael, that I make lame jokes,” Magnus teased. “That’s gotta be you.”

His father laughed and shook his head. Magnus looked at the man in front of him – the man who had raised him all on his own. The man who fought for their lives in New York. The man who was there for him every single day.

“Ayah,” he called and his father looked up. “All my life, I have believed in numbers and facts and science - just like mom. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in things I cannot see or understand. I believe in love. I believe in magic. I believe in beauty. I think I got that from you.”

“Oh, Magnus,” his father whispered, his voice tight.

“Mom taught me that if I was ever get confused about people, I should compare them to elements,” Magnus told his father. “It made things so much easier for me. Alec is number 47 for Silver – because he is always transparent and incredibly rare. Cat is number 01 for Carbon – because her soul is so light and free. Mom…she is number 08 for Oxygen – because she is always there for everyone and you can’t live without her.”

His father smiled at that. “Your metaphor game is impressive, Magnus.”

“You are number 14,” Magnus told the older man.

His father looked slightly confused.

“You are silicon,” Magnus elaborated.

“Oh,” the older man said. “Thank you.”

Magnus looked at him skeptically.

“Okay, fine,” his father sighed. “I don’t get it.”

“Silicon is solid, hard and supportive. It reminds me of you because you have always been there for me – no matter what. Granite and most of other rocks are complex silicates that were used to build strong and enduring structures. You have molded me to be the strong and enduring person that I am today. You are my rock, dad.”

His father blinked.

“Mom used to tell me stories about how you fought her – when her family didn’t approve of a poet. She told me you fought for her every day. I...I want to be the one who fights for Alec. I want to fight for him every single day. So, it’s not all her. I’ve got both of you. I’ll always have both of you.”

His father pulled him into a hug and Magnus rested his head on the taller man’s shoulder. He heard a sniffle and looked up.

“Are you crying?” Magnus asked, not lifting his head.

“Nope,” his father replied into his shoulder. “It’s the stupid feng shui in this room. It is making everyone unnecessarily emo.”

“Your students need to stop teaching you slang!” Magnus complained and suddenly pulled back from the hug. "Which brings me to an important point. I gave Alec your number. I hope you don-"

“Oh, Alec already texted me!” his father took out his phone excitedly. “He sent me a link to a Buzzfeed quiz today. “ _Which Romantic Poet Are You Really?_ ”

“THAT'S what he sent you???” Magnus gaped. “I thought he would have sent you something super intellectual like I don't know an analysis on The Adventures of Huckleberry Fred!”

“Good lord! It’s Huckleberry Finn!” his father face palmed. “Also, I got Coleridge!!! How cool is that??? And Alec got Yeats – which is also equally cool!!”

Magnus watched as his father gush about his favorite poets - it was nothing new. But to see him gush about his passion and talk about Alec as if they were already a family or something? It was everything.

“Oh my god,” his father gasped suddenly. “You should do it! PLEASE DO IT!!”

So Magnus sat there and took the Buzzfeed quiz – because apparently that’s what you do when you love people. You take ridiculous online quizzes or stay up all night and make handcrafted gifts.

“Okay so who is Lord Byron?” Magnus asked, pointing at his screen.

His father started to cackle like a lunatic and grabbed his phone back. “This is so perfect for you! I must send this to Alec.”

Magnus pouted at his father, as the older man sent a screenshot of the result to Alec. “I am pretty sure I am nothing like this weird old guy!”

“Come on! Lord Byron was, as the kids say, hella dope," his father offered giddily. "He was one of the most flamboyant and notorious poets to exist – and god he could be such a drama queen. It’s like you two are soulmates.”

“Ha ha, dad!” Magnus deadpanned. “Ha ha!”

His father’s phone pinged. His father laughed upon opening the message and showed Magnus Alec’s response.

**Literally no one:**

**Magnus at 2 am:** " _ **Pleasure's a sin, and sometimes sin's a pleasure..."**_

Magnus frowned at the text. His father grabbed the phone from him and typed something quickly. Magnus grabbed it back and looked at the message.

**Literally no one:**

**Magnus moping around the library: _“There is something pagan in me that I cannot shake off. In short, I deny nothing, but doubt everything.”_**

Magnus saw Alec reply with a gif of Ryan Gosling trying to control his laughter.

“I don’t say these things,” Magnus protested.

“Oh please,” his father rolled his eyes fondly. "These are accurate translations from your best bud Lord Byron."

Magnus looked at his father, who was sitting on the floor, grinning at his phone and was no doubt typing something unbearably cute. He thought of Alec, sitting next to his window, biting his lip to hold back his laughter and typing something equally adorable. He realized how blessed he was to have not one but two such amazing people in his life.

“God, I love you nerds so much,” Magnus sighed.

“We love you too,” his father smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I don't know if it's obvious...But I am an ACTUAL hoe for Good!Parent Asmodeus. What an aesthetic!!
> 
> I'll see you next week (oooor maybe even sooner who knows?). Next chapter, we will get some soft parabrotai content. 
> 
> Till then, stay safe and stay sane.
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalincate if you need to talk about my love for Asmodeus. 
> 
> Fun fact: The Mason jar was named after its inventor John Landis Mason (why is this hilarious to me???)


	11. Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I belong among the aisles of a library. I exist between the pages of a book. I breathe the voice of my heroes. I live to read. But Magnus…Magnus doesn’t read or talk about books or know all the stories I do. And yet somehow…Somehow when I am with him, I feel like the happiest person in the world.”
> 
> Some asking, More falling, Good catching and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plays that one gif from titanic *it's been 84 years*
> 
> If you don't follow me on tumblr - then consider yourselves lucky because I had been crying over my lmlt updates for the past two weeks. My phone broke three weeks ago and I only got it back yesterday (Thanks, quarantine) But all good now, so here is a BIG apology for being super late. 
> 
> But hey, you know what comes with my delayed apologies right? TA-DA! *presents 13k chapter*
> 
> Happy reading :)

“Did you see the picture Magnus posted on Insta?”

Alec lifted his eyes from his book and stared incredulously at Izzy. Of course he hasn’t seen the picture since he was not on Instagram and his sister knew this very well. He reminded her of that and she just rolled her eyes.

“Jeez okay,” she said, chewing on her pancakes. “I just thought maybe you had a secret profile to stalk him or something.”

“I don’t,” Alec replied, wondering whether he actually should get one of those.

“Look!” she exclaimed as she thrust the phone in his face.

It was a picture of Magnus standing shirtless on his balcony with paint smeared across his chest.

“He is redecorating his room in blue,” his sister pointed out. “Thoughts?”

“About the picture or the redecoration?”

“Both,” Izzy grinned.

“Could have had better lighting,” Alec shrugged. “And blue is a good color for bedrooms. It can create positive ment-”

He was interrupted by Isabelle blowing raspberries at his face. He could have said what he actually thought of the picture but he didn’t think it was an appropriate thing to say to one’s sister – not that Izzy would ever care.

“Jace, look at this picture of Magnus!” Izzy all but commanded Jace, who was dropping another pancake on Alec’s plate.

“HOT DAMN!” Jace exclaimed.

“See?” Izzy told Alec as she beamed at Jace’s reaction. “That’s all I wanted.”

Alec poked his tongue out at her and went back to his book.

 _Rubyfruit Jungle_ was honestly a breathtaking read and Alec couldn’t put the book down – well unless there was a shirtless picture of Magnus being passed around.

His mother had brought him the novel last night and Alec was already halfway through the book. It was an honest and brutal depiction of lesbianism and queer culture. Once in a while Alec would come across a book that would make him feel grateful.

Most books make you happy and others make you sad. But some books – they make you feel grateful. You feel grateful for reading it because you feel that your life is somehow better with that book in it.

It was how he had always felt about Wuthering Heights – he was starting to get a feeling that Rubyfruit Jungle might soon become one of the books he was eternally grateful for too. He made a mental note to thank his mother – for not only buying a book that helped him understand queer literature better, but also for somehow buying a book that Alec would immensely enjoy.

In that exact moment, he found her walking towards the dining table. She dropped quick good morning kisses on their heads and looked at Alec happily.

“Did you pick up your gear?” she asked him as she pushed his hair back.

Alec, who no longer frowned at the gesture, just smiled. “Yes.”

“Honey, I’ll make the rest,” she told Jace as she picked up the pancake batter from him. “Why don’t you go eat?”

“I made them heart shaped ones. No pressure, mom!” Jace winked at her and sat down next to him.

Izzy and Alec exchanged a quick look and Alec suppressed a giggle. He had been wondering why the pancakes were shaped like disfigured chickens and now it made sense.

“So what are we talking about?” his mother asked, focusing intently on the pan – probably trying to make heart shaped pancakes.

“Magnus,” Isabelle replied nonchalantly.

“Who is Magnus?”

“Alec’s boyfriend,” both Izzy and Jace answered at the same time.

“He is not my boyfriend,” Alec muttered but not too loudly – partly because they wouldn’t care anyway but mostly because he wanted it to be true.

“Honestly Alec,” Jace said in disappointment. “I thought you would have told her all about him.”

“There is nothing to say,” Alec replied.

“Nothing?” Jace grinned. “ _Nothing_ at all?”

“Nope.”

“Oh how I wish you had felt this way during the swimming championship,” his brother sighed dramatically. “You had a lot to say about Magnus and his swimming trunks if I remember correctly.”

“You’re the one to talk,” Alec rolled his eyes. “You almost passed out when Clary dressed up as Ariel for Halloween.”

Jace tried to kick him in the shin in response but Alec moved his legs quickly and grinned at Jace in triumph.

“I want to see Magnus!” his mother announced out of nowhere and leaped towards the dining table, almost hitting Isabelle with her spatula.

Despite the reassuring talk with his mother a couple of days ago – there were still a couple of things that worried him. Being an over thinker and an expert worrier was not easy. Izzy kept showing their mother more pictures of Magnus and Alec’s heart started to beat faster.

He bit his lip nervously as his mother intently stared at the phone. He knew that Magnus’ father approved of him – which Alec had not expected at all. But he wasn’t sure about his mom and Magnus – they had nothing in common.

Of course, it shouldn’t matter whether his _mom_ liked Magnus or not because it was _Alec’s_ life and his decision. The only problem was that it did - it mattered to Alec. He wanted her to like him. He wanted to them to get along – that is if he ever found the courage to tell Magnus how he felt about him.

“Would you say he is a 9/10?” Jace asked breaking the silence.

“Honey, we don’t objectify people like that!” his mother chastised.

“But if we were to make an exception?” Isabelle prompted.

“We are not gonna,” Alec interrupted and plucked the phone from his sister. “No phones during breakfast, remember?”

Izzy pouted at him and went back to her pancakes. His mother still hadn’t said anything yet and Alec couldn’t help but worry. He tried to lose himself in his book once more and told himself it was no big deal.

Except that it kinda was since his mother tended to be one of those parents who were over enthusiastic about their children’s love lives.

Alec sighed internally and realized he was worrying over nothing. Magnus wasn’t even his boyfriend and they weren’t even dating – so he didn’t know why he was unnecessarily troubling himself with all these hypothetical scenarios.

“We are watching Ocean’s Eleven tonight, right?” Jace asked, bringing Alec back to the present.

“No, I want to watch Clone Wars!” Isabelle protested.

“You have been too obsessed with Star Wars recently,” Jace noted with a frown. “And no can do – it’s my turn this week!”

“Fine,” Isabelle pouted. “But only because of Brad Pitt.”

“YAS!” Jace high fived her and Alec chuckled.

“I am more of a Clooney girl myself,” his mother commented from the kitchen.

“Ew,” Jace made a face. “Clooney is old.”

“What was that?” his mother asked, pointing the spatula at him.

“Nothing,” Jace shook his head quickly. “Age is just a number!”

“That’s right,” his mother grinned. “And that man ages like fine wine.”

“Hey, what happened to not objectifying people?” Izzy demanded.

“He is my exception,” his mother winked at her and went back to the kitchen.

“This is ridiculous,” Isabelle argued. “Alec, you have the final vote. Who is hotter?”

“Brad Pitt has got nothing on Clooney,” Alec pointed out casually as he ate his pancakes.

He heard his mother gasp from the kitchen. She walked over to him quickly and laid a loud kiss on his head, leaving him startled.

“Finally,” she exclaimed in relief. “ _Finally_ someone who shares my taste.”

As his family continued to a debate over Brad Pitt and George Clooney, Alec couldn’t help but smile. If this conversation had happened last week, Alec would have not said anything at all. He would have obsessed over it later – about lying to his mother and lying to himself.

But now – he realized that this was his life. He thought George Clooney was hot and he could say it out loud in the dining table if he wanted to. It was an insanely bizarre thing to be happy about but Alec was happy nonetheless.

“Thank you,” the words left his mouth abruptly.

The three of them stopped arguing and starred at Alec.

“For _this_ ,” Alec just gestured around the table. “I have always wanted to this.”

He realized he didn’t have to explain or elaborate as all three of them jumped at him and embraced him in a tight hug.

“I am so glad you came out to mom, Alec,” Jace announced happily as he sat back down again. “You have no idea how stressful this thing has been for me.”

“Stressful for _you_?” Izzy raised an eyebrow.

“Do you people have any idea how many puns I have had to hold back over the years?” Jace questioned, looking frustrated. “The self-control it took to keep it all to myself?”

Alec patted his brother on the back. “Thank you for your sacrifice and self-control, Jace. I really appreciate it.”

His mother ruffled Alec’s hair and laughed at that. “I am just happy that you kids are alright.”

“You mean, you are... _gay_?” Jace giggled.

Izzy threw a pancake at her brother but Jace caught it and added it to his plate with a wink.

“What is this supposed to be?” his mother pointed at Jace’s plate.

“It’s a heart, mom,” Alec grinned at the misshapen pancake. “Just roll with it.”

“Lightwoods,” she muttered under her breath and walked back to the kitchen.

“It’s art in the shape of a heart,” Jace announced proudly and Izzy face palmed.

“Please stop,” Isabelle told Jace. “Alec, you should really get on insta. Magnus’ pictures are fantastic.”

Alec gave his mother a quick glance but she made no comment.

“Don’t you mean the pictures are _bane_ -tastic?” Jace asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Alec, please go back into the closet,” his sister begged. “I can’t listen to another lame ass pun.”

“It is quite hard,” Alec noted gravely.

“Which is coincidentally what Magnus said when Al-” his brother started but stopped abruptly when Izzy started to assault him with more pancakes.

“Jace, honey, no more jokes,” his mother ordered, although she was smiling. “Isabelle, darling, please stop attacking your brother with pancakes.”

“It’s alright, mom,” Alec reassured her. “She didn’t make them so they are not letha-Ow! Iz, stop wasting good food!”

After attacking the pancakes and attacking each other with the pancakes – they put on their backpacks and walked to the top of the lane to wait for the school bus.

Alec had wanted to ask his mother why she hadn’t said anything about Magnus after looking at his pictures but he had decided against it. He was too afraid that she wouldn’t like him. Magnus was…different. But Alec loved that about him. Alec loved that Magnus stood out from everyone else in every possible way.

He knew his mother wouldn’t judge Magnus from a couple of pictures from Instagram – even though they were some pretty damn good pictures.

Alec might not be on Instagram but Maia was and she had spammed him with pictures of Magnus since he had come out to her. Apparently Alec had not been subtle about his crush as he had thought.

He reminded himself that it didn’t matter what his mother thought of Magnus since there was nothing between Magnus and himself. It was mainly why he hadn’t bothered to ask her about her opinion.

Alec went back to his book and didn’t look up until they reached Idris.

Usually, at least since they had started Operation Clace, Alec’s first task would be to find Magnus and discuss some sort of plan to bring Jace and Clary together. But today he found himself walking towards his literature class since Operation Clace was no more.

Alec would never admit this out loud in a million years but he actually enjoyed running around and playing cupid. He didn’t know whether it was Magnus or just the thrill of ‘making love’ as Magnus so often called it – he had loved it and now he missed it.

He knew he could walk up to Magnus and ask him out any time. He knew that technically there was nothing stopping him anymore.

Unless you counted his nerves.

It wasn’t that Alec was afraid Magnus would say no. Well, he _was_ afraid of that. But it wasn’t just about rejection. If Magnus didn’t want to date him – he could understand. It was a total possibility – one that made more sense than Magnus dating him.

But that was not what he was afraid of. There was something worse than rejection and Alec couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Watch out,” the voice called and Alec stopped walking abruptly. He stared at the wall in front of him and smacked himself in the face.

“I am usually not the one to discourage people from daydreaming but it is a little too early to visit the nurse don’t you think?” Mr. Herondale smiled at him, carrying a stack of papers with him as usual.

Alec grinned at his teacher sheepishly and walked into class without another word.

“So,” Mr. Herondale said after he propped himself up on his table as Alec sat down on his regular seat. “Do you want to tell me what you were thinking about when you almost collided into a wall?”

“The exploration of morality in Harper Lee’s work?”

“Try again.”

“I was thinking about love,” Alec said defeated.

“That makes more sense considering you are sixteen and not sixty,” Mr. Herondale sighed tiredly. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

“Why do you assume something is wrong?” Alec asked. “Couldn’t I have walked into a wall because I am blissfully lost in the sensation of love?”

“Are you blissfully lost in the sensation of love?” Mr. Herondale asked skeptically.

“No,” Alec frowned.

“Whatever it is that you are worried about, it is not as bad as you think,” Mr. Herondale offered gently.

“Sorry,” Alec replied, mostly out of habit. “I tend to overthink things.”

“You know, I used to think to that _I_ was an over thinker. Then I moved to America and now I feel as if I don’t think enough,” Mr. Herondale chuckled softly.

"You moved here for Jace, didn’t you?” Alec asked before he could stop himself.

Mr. Herondale hadn’t clearly been expecting that since the older man blinked before quickly recovering himself.

“I did. But it wasn’t only for Jace,” he answered. “I did it for myself too. I wanted a fresh start.”

“Do you miss him, Mr. Herondale?”

“Of course. But I do see him loitering in the hallway more often I’d like so I s-”

“I wasn’t asking about Jace,” Alec corrected quietly.

“Oh,” Mr. Herondale said. “Oh.”

When Jace had come to live with them in New York – his parents had tried to do everything to make sure he felt comfortable and safe. They had bought him toys of all kinds – even more than what Alec and Isabelle had been given – not that they minded one bit. But Jace never played with any of them. It was almost as if he didn’t know how to – and so he had stayed away from them.

They hadn't been able to figure him out until one day when his mother had seen Jace tapping on the dining table with a seemingly lost expression and had asked if he would like to play the piano. Jace’s golden eyes had shined like two very bright stars. Jace who started playing the piano then hadn’t stopped since.

But unlike most people, Jace never really played for others. He played it for himself – which was a damn shame since Jace was brilliant at it. It took a long time and a lot of trust for Jace to confide the reason behind it.

 _“He taught me to play it so I could play for Will,”_ Jace had whispered quietly. _“He taught me so I could play for Will after he was gone.”_

Jace had mastered the art of playing in the piano at the age of 9 and had done it so that he could make someone happy. As a thirteen year old Alec had been surprised when Jace had confessed about this, but now he realized that it was such as Jace thing for him to do.

“I do miss him. I miss him every single day,” Mr. Herondale said now.

His voice sounded completely different – as if he was remembering something that was simultaneously beautiful and painful at the same time.

“I wish he was here to see Jace – and you,” the other man admitted softly. “He always thought Jace needed someone to ground him - like I needed him.”

James Carstairs, the infamous violinist and Mr. Herondale’s best friend, had died a couple of weeks before Jace had moved in with the Lightwoods. Alec once overheard his father say that they had to bring Jace to New York because Will was too heartbroken to take care of a child.

Alec remembered wondering how in the world one could be ‘too heartbroken’ to take care of a child. But now he realized that there were some losses in life that could turn your world upside down. Alec couldn’t imagine getting out of bed if he had to wake up every morning in a world without Jace in it – so he could hardly blame Mr. Herondale.

“I was thinking about rejection,” Alec told his teacher now. “I was thinking how there are worse things than being rejected by the people you love.”

Mr. Herondale cocked his head to the side, looking both confused and amused.

“Really?” he asked. “And what’s worse than rejection?”

“Acceptance.”

Mr. Herondale was quiet then – waiting patiently for Alec to explain. He was good at that, Alec realized - a quality he knew all teachers should learn.

“I know rejection is scary. But no one talks about the fear of being accepted. What if they accept your love – what happens then, Mr. Herondale? You get to spend your life with that person, living in fear, wondering when they would realize that they made the wrong decision. You keep thinking about all the ways it could go wrong. You worry about every step you take because you think it might be the wrong one. What is worse than wondering every day when it is going to end? I’d rather not have it at all than to have for a while and lose it later. I don’t think I am strong enough to survive it.”

Mr. Herondale got off the table and walked towards Alec. He sat down in the chair next to him and picked up his copy of Rubyfruit Jungle.

“What did we learn about novels, Alec?” he asked. “We don’t read them for the happy ending.”

“We read them for the journey,” Alec finished automatically.

It was the first thing he had learned in his literature class and he hadn't forgotten it since.

“Maybe the hero will regret his decision or maybe he won’t. It may end in heartbreak or it might become the greatest love story ever told. We don’t know what the future holds – no one does. But don’t you think that’s a good thing? How awfully dull would the world be if we knew what was going to happen?”

“I’d rather know what was going to happen,” Alec pouted.

“Of course you would,” Mr. Herondale smiled sadly. “When I lived in Wales – I used to think about it all the time. I used to think how things would have been so different if I had known about my friend’s illness a little earlier. I used to think about how different Jace’s life would have been if I had found him earlier.”

Alec listened quietly and waited patiently – a quality he had learned from his teacher.

“But then I realized while I was tormenting myself about the past and worrying about the future – my present was right there waiting for me. I almost lost what precious little time I had with those I loved because I kept wondering about the what ifs. When you find out what the future holds, you lose your present.”

He passed the book back to Alec.

“So, don’t worry about being rejected or accepted – because both outcomes happen in the future. The more you think about it, the more you will lose of what you have right now. Alec…I know it is scary and I know that it feels better to not have something than to have it and lose it later. But trust me when I say that some people are worth having in your life – even for just a second. I am not going to lie and tell you that it won’t hurt when they leave. It does. It really does. But you will be grateful for every moment you got to spend with them.”

“I…I don’t know, Mr. Herondale,” Alec shook his head.

“Do you remember when you told me you wanted to be a writer?” Mr. Herondale asked all of a sudden.

Alec could only nod.

“Do you still want to be one?”

Another reluctant nod.

“What’s stopping you?”

Alec wanted to say that it was the possible rejection from publishers. He wanted to say that it was the fear of disappointing young readers or letting his family down. While he could easily point the finger at any one of them – Alec had always known the real reason.

“I know it’s me,” Alec admitted quietly. “But knowing that doesn’t change anything.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Mr. Herondale agreed. “That’s exactly the point, Alec. Knowing the future or not knowing the future doesn’t change anything at all.”

“But if we knew that there was an apocalypse going to happen in the future, doesn’t knowing this information change everything?” Alec asked, raising a brow.

Mr. Herondale sighed tiredly – as if he was used to getting this type of annoying hypothetical questions all the time.

“I wish,” he said tiredly. “I wish there was some magical answer to this question. I wish I could tell you something that would make you understand that the future is not something to worry about – but rather something to look forward to.”

Alec wished so too. He wished there was some sort of guarantee that would tell him that everything was going to be okay.

“What would your friend say?” Alec asked all of a sudden. “What would he say about the future?”

A small smile appeared on his lips and Mr. Herondale shrugged a little.

“My Jem would have said something eloquent and reassuring,” he replied. “But unfortunately, I am not him. I do not have eloquent words for you. I cannot guarantee your future will be safe or happy. None of us know that. Sometimes all you can do is close your eyes and jump.”

“But what if I fall?”

“Then you hope the people who love you will be there to catch you,” Mr. Herondale replied easily.

“What if they were…not there?” Alec asked. “They were busy making pancakes or something?”

“Then you get up by yourself and keep walking,” Mr. Herondale said. “And maybe steal some of their pancakes while you are at it.”

Alec smiled a little at that and Mr. Herondale visibly relaxed.

“Do you want to tell me what brought this on?” he asked softly. “I mean, I know existential crisis is common at sixteen but this seems rather extreme.”

It was Alec’s turn to sigh tiredly. “I like someone and I am worried they don’t like me back.”

“Well, you never know if you don’t ask. Why don’t you just talk to Magnus?”

“It’s not that easy. I can’t just walk up to him and be li-” Alec stared at his teacher in confusion. “How do you know it’s Magnus??”

“My nose might be buried in a book most of the time but I don’t miss much,” Mr. Herondale grinned brightly. “Besides, you are not subtle at all.”

“Yikes,” Alec couldn’t help but say out loud.

“Just ask him,” Mr. Herondale nudged.

“It’s not easy,” Alec repeated.

“Good things never are,” Mr. Herondale said. “When I was growing up, books were my solace. And after Jem…They were the only things I had. I never felt lonely when I was reading. But sometimes…Alec, sometimes we need to put the book down and live on our own adventures. Otherwise, we forget our own story. I know you enjoy reading love stories but it is time you write your own.”

Alec half expected Mr. Herondale to say ‘ _Go! Make Love!_ ’ dramatically – but he realized that sort of crazy gesture was Magnus’ thing.

“I know you might be afraid that Magnus might break your heart. But you must trust him. You must trust that he won’t.”

Alec bit his lip and said nothing.

“Do you trust him?”

“I do,” Alec said.

It rather shocked him the force with which the words had left his lips. Alec had never trusted anyone easily. He had always been the one to be skeptical of people in the family. He had always been the one who kept his guard up.

“Good,” Mr. Herondale nodded with a smile. “You shouldn’t be in love with someone you don’t trust.”

If he loved Magnus and if he trusted him – then there was nothing holding him back, right?

He didn’t want to ask Mr. Herondale how one could ask out their classmate with zero chances of being turned down. But he realized that question was probably above Mr. Herondale’s pay grade. So instead he asked, “How about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you going to ask out Ms. Gray?”

“I..Uh, what? I have never-,” Mr. Herondale stammered.

“You are not subtle either,” Alec grinned. “You should ask her out. I think she likes you.”

“I really want to say ‘it’s not easy’ right now but I can’t, can I?” Mr. Herondale pouted.

“Not unless you want to be a hypocrite,” Alec pointed out. “If any character in any book had been afraid to follow their heart, we wouldn’t have all these amazing stories. I didn’t believe I deserved a love story – not until I met Magnus.”

“I…I am not sure if I deserve her,” Mr. Herondale said mostly to himself.

“Shouldn’t she be the judge of that?” Alec asked. “I think you should put the book down and live your own adventure.

Mr. Herondale frowned. “The classics have made you all cocky and annoyingly wise.”

“Well, I learned from the best,” Alec all but winked.

When Alec was a child, he had always felt overwhelmed by people. Of course, he still found large crowds to be tedious – but for the quiet, shy child that he had been, everything and everyone had been too much.

Alec had not known who to look at or what to expect of them. He had always found people complicated to read and understand. So, at the age of six, Alec had come with a fool proof plan. He decided to think of people in life as characters from a book.

He had always understood fictional characters just fine and he had thought that it would help to see people in real life as characters from books too. Of course, the only books Alec had been reading at that age had been fairytales. So, everyone Alec knew was considered as a character from a fairytale.

To his surprise, he found that despite the changes over the years, the characters never changed. It made Alec wonder whether deep down people will always be the same despite the changes on the outside.

He looked at the man before him – a soul that had been tested more than necessary. Mr. Herondale was incredibly wise for his age. His blue always burned brightly as if knew and kept many secrets than everyone else. He had always been the first person Alec spoke to when he was conflicted – and Mr. Herondale had always answered his questions.

And despite believing otherwise – Mr. Herondale always knew what to say.

Wise, reliable and forever supportive – Mr. Herondale played the role of the wise man that showed him the way.

When the hero was lost on his way to complete the quest, the wise man would always help him to find the right path. Over the years, Mr. Herondale – despite moving to New York for Jace – had always made sure Alec landed on his feet too. He had been there to push him when necessary and guide him when required.

“You are so much better than Dumbledore,” Alec blurted out.

Mr. Herondale blinked and then laughed out loud. “Well, I should hope so. My hair hasn’t turned gray yet.”

The bell rang and Alec knew students would come in any moment and another day would begin. He took a deep breath in and prepared himself for class. He was going to focus on the present as Mr. Herondale had suggested.

His teacher winked at him in understanding and moved towards the board. Alec spent the rest of the class learning about Edgar Allen Poe’s poetry. He even wrote down a couple of questions that he wanted to ask Magnus’ father.

If only he could talk so freely and openly with Magnus too. Why did he hesitate and overthink every time he talked to Magnus?

 _Because you are afraid he will break your heart_ , an unhelpful voice said. _Or maybe you will break his._

Alec asked the voice to shut the hell up and focused on the lesson. The rest of the day moved slowly – he couldn’t even text Magnus since he didn’t know what to say. He missed sitting with Magnus during lunch and coming up with stupid plans.

Except…Except the plans didn’t seem so stupid anymore. Alec realized all of that ridiculous planning did have a purpose at the end of the day. He realized it had brought the two of them together.

When the hell did Operation Clace turn into Operation Malec?

 _Malec_ , he mouthed the word with a smile. He liked the sound of that.

“Let me get this _straight_ ,” Jace asked with a smirk and Izzy smacked him with her empty tray.

“No more puns,” Izzy warned.

“You are no pun,” Jace muttered at her and looked at Alec again. “You’re telling me you told Magnus’ dad but you still haven’t told Magnus?”

Alec just nodded since he was too depressed to give verbal confirmation.

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about,” Isabelle shrugged superiorly. “You ask him out, he says yes and I get to plan your wedding. Just get on with it for god’s sake!”

“How do you know he is going to say yes?” Alec demanded.

“I just do,” she shrugged again.

“Assuming and knowing are not the same!”

“I am not assuming, I _know_ it,” Isabelle said as she got up from her seat. “Laters, losers!”

There was something about the way she had said it – something Alec couldn’t overlook. Izzy always liked knowing things – whether it was scientific facts or high school gossip.

“Do you think….Do you think Magnus told her that he likes me?” Alec asked his brother.

“I hope not,” Jace whistled. “I hope one of you has the brain cells to tell the right person first – and let’s face it, bro. It ain’t you.”

Alec sighed. Maybe he should just ask Magnus. But the idea of walking up to Magnus and asking whether he wanted to date made Alec’s knees all wobbly and head all jittery.

But Alec didn’t want to worry about the future and he certainly didn’t want to lose his present. So, he made a decision.

He looked at his brother. “I’ll ask him out the next time I see him.”

“Whoa, seriously?” Jace almost fell off his bench – he clearly hadn’t been expecting that.

“Seriously,” Alec nodded before he could chicken out. “Sometimes you just gotta close your eyes and jump.”

“I am glad you are going to ask Magnus out, but that is horrible advice,” Jace shook his head seriously.

“Mr. Herondale told me that!” Alec said defensively.

“Alec, Alec, Alec,” Jace said his name disapprovingly. “You don’t go to Will for life advice – that was Jem’s job. You go to Will when you fuck up and want to get rid of the body.”

“Well, when Magnus rejects me and I die of humiliation, make sure to ask Mr. Herondale to help with the body,” Alec joked, but only a little.

“What if I talked you up or something?” Jace asked. “I could come up with a whole plan to set you to up.”

“I am begging you to not,” Alec pleaded.

Jace pouted and focused on his phone again. Alec heard a familiar voice and he turned around to see Emily/Emma making a racket - he couldn't quite remember her name since she was still in middle school and Alec had never really met her. Emily/Emma was shouting at someone as usual and Clary was trying to calm her down. Alec wished Magnus was here since he would have definitely known the blonde girl's name - and probably her star sign and allergies too.

Alec’s eyes scanned the area but Magnus was nowhere to be seen. A small breath of relief left his lips and Alec realized maybe he wasn’t really ready after all. He looked back at her Clary, her ponytail bobbing as she was jumping around Emma excitedly. Even though he didn’t know her personally, Alec had always noticed that everyone liked Clary and that wasn’t just because she was the principal’s daughter. She seemed to have an innate ability to make people around her happy.

He wished Operation Clace had worked out because something told him she would make Jace happy too.

“Jace,” Alec said, when he realized he had one more confession to make today. “I need to talk to you.”

“What’s up?” Jace asked, not looking up from his phone.

“It’s about Clary. I know you like her and I did a th-”

“Ahhhh, shit!” Jace exclaimed dramatically. “I forgot I have a…thing.”

“A thing?”

“Yep,” Jace nodded furiously as he picked up his backpack. “I need to meet coach for a special meeting thingy. Gotta go, bro. Talk later, okay?”

One did not have to be Jace’s best friend to understand the bullshit he had just pulled. Alec very well knew that Jace was running away from the conversation. He let it go for now and decided he would talk to his brother at home.

If Jace got mad at Alec for intervening in his love life and decided to dump his food on his head – Alec wouldn’t oppose, but he would rather not have an audience.

He tried not to think about the conversation with Jace too much as he walked to class. Sometimes it felt like Alec was constantly shifting between thinking too much about something and trying not to think about something at all.

Although most students complained, Alec was quietly thankful for the surprise exam in his English class as it helped take his mind off everything. By the time his day was done – Alec was equal parts glad and disappointed that he didn’t run into Magnus.

He realized that this was his life before Operation Clace. They had such different schedules and lifestyles that they almost never ran into each other – not until Magnus and Alec coincidentally ended up in detention together.

Alec hoped it they would ever be so lucky to end up in the same room again. But fate didn’t seem to care much about the love life of a sixteen year old boy. As he walked towards the practice grounds with his gear, he quietly hoped that no one else would be there. It had been a long time since he practiced and Alec didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of his peers.

Apparently god decided to give him a break since the ground was empty but then he heard a voice say, “Hey, man! I didn’t know you did archery!”

Alec turned around to see Simon grinning at him, his gear on his back.

Oh, no.

“I do,” Alec said shortly because he liked to keep small talk actually small.

“That’s awesome!” the other boy beamed. “I can’t wait to shoot with you sometime!”

Oh, good lord.

“Are you…staying?” Alec asked.

“Oh, uh, no,” Simon said, suddenly looking flustered. “I have a thing.”

Didn’t people realize that it was the lamest excuse in the world? It was as if they didn’t even want to come with something better.

“Cool,” Alec said, not asking any further questions because he kinda felt like Simon’s ‘thing’ definitely had something to do with his sister.

When Simon left the grounds after gathering up his belongings, it was just Alec. It was him with his bow and quiver. He stared at the target ahead of him and released a deep breath.

His body moved of its own accord, muscle memory kicking in even after all this time. He stared at the target and relaxed his bow arm. He pulled the arrow back, but his fingers hesitated. He could see his target so clearly, but his hand refused to move. There was something missing – something making it difficult for him to focus. He stood there waiting for what felt like forever waiting for his body to relax. 

He was considering throwing away the bow in frustration when he heard the voice. “I have told you not to leave your notes lying around, Sylvester! How many ti-”

Alec’s body moved of its own accord once more, his face whipping around to find Magnus.

“I, um, Simon?” Magnus asked from afar.

“Simon just left,” Alec answered.

Magnus was staring blatantly at him and it took a moment for Alec to register the reason. His body had moved but his hands not. He was look at Magnus now, his hands holding the bow and arrow ready to fire.

“God, I am so sorry,” Alec said in embarrassment as he dropped the bow. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Magnus shook his head as if he were coming out from a daze and Alec felt bad for scaring the other boy into oblivion.

“I, uh, I didn’t know you did archery,” Magnus pointed at the bow on the ground.

“I do,” Alec tried to smile. “Well, I used to. I thought of giving it a shot again.”

“Why archery?” Magnus asked, moving closer to him now. “It’s not a popular sport at Idris. We barely have a team anymore.”

 _Do you trust him?_ he heard Mr. Herondale's voice echo in his head. 

“Max,” Alec said, because the answer was yes. “I chose archery because Max is obsessed with a character called Kagome Higurashi from one of his animes. He wasn’t…He doesn’t read much, you know? He was also so enamored with Jace because Jace played football and was cool. Max didn’t want to read with me or listen to my stories.”

When Max was born – Alec immediately knew which character he would play in the story of his life. His little brother was someone everyone loved. Even animals loved him - which was partly why he had been the only child to convince his parents to adopt a cat. It was impossible to find someone who didn’t like Max and Alec was glad because he knew his brother deserved all the love and happiness in the world.

The awkwardness and strain he had often seen between his parents disappeared the moment Max came to this world. Alec found purpose in looking after his brother and Izzy was happy that she found a willing participant for her makeovers. It was as if Max made everyone’s life better.

Kind, brave and impossibly cheerful – Max played the role of the princess who was loved by all the people in the kingdom.

When the hero was in need of help, the princess always showed kindness. Max had always made Alec’s life better by just being in it. He would tell Alec to believe his heart – even when he was a four year old who really didn’t know where the heart was in the human body.

“I am sure he thought you were pretty cool too,” Magnus offered kindly, bringing Alec out of his reverie.

“I know,” Alec tried to smile. “But I was not mature enough to understand it when I was in middle school. So, I joined the archery team. Kagome was an excellent archer, you see? It was her weapon of choice and she was damn good at it. So I thought…I thought if I could be like her then Max would think I was cool too.”

Magnus smiled softly – one that Alec only saw when Magnus was with him. “Are you damn good too?”

“I try,” Alec shrugged, twirling the arrow with ease between his fingers. “I only started learning for Max – but it didn’t take me long to realize I really liked it. There was something about the control and focus and attention…It was exactly like reading. When I shoot the arrow, it’s like nothing exists other than me and the target. I really liked it – more than I thought I would.”

Magnus observed him quietly. “Then why did you stop?”

“Max used to sit right over there and watch me,” Alec pointed at the empty bleachers with his arrow. “He would watch me practice and think I was the coolest brother in the world. After…After my dad left to London with Max, it’s been hard to come here. It reminded me too much of Max…and I miss him.”

“Alexander, it’s okay,” Magnus said, taking a couple of cautious steps towards him. “It’s okay.”

“The night I came out to mom she told me that I should never hold anything back because I was worried about other people. She asked me not to hurt myself trying to protect those around me,” Alec said quietly, looking at his shoes now. “I didn’t realize I was doing that until she pointed it out. I gave up something I genuinely liked because I felt guilty for doing it without Max.”

Magnus took another step forward and Alec could see his face so clearly. His gold green eyes shining in the faint sunlight, his gold eyeliner shimmering against his skin. It was a sight Alec never wanted to forget.

“I think Max would like you to continue,” Magnus said softly. “I think he wants you to be happy just as you want him to be happy.”

Alec smiled, it came easily now. “Thank you, Magnus. I don’t know why I even came here. I don’t feel like I belong here anymore – not without Max. I’m gonna probably go home.”

Magnus didn’t respond but instead turned around and ran. Great, Alec had bored him so much with his soppy story that Magnus had literally run away.

But only, the other boy wasn’t running towards the school. Instead, Magnus ran up the bleachers and sat down in the top row.

“Shoot,” he yelled at Alec. “I’ll watch.”

Alec picked up the bow, settled the arrow and looked at Magnus. He was wearing an impossible smile on his face and wondered whether Magnus could see it right now. He wondered whether Magnus knew he was the reason behind it.

_The next time I see him I’ll ask him out._

His own voice echoed in his head but Alec wondered if it was appropriate to ask someone out while pointing an arrow at their face.

Perhaps not.

Alec looked at the target again and released a deep breath. He immediately felt the way he did when he was lost between the pages of a book. There was nothing but him and the target. Arrow after arrow flew from his quiver and Alec didn’t stopped until he ran out – of arrows and energy.

He stared at the target, every single arrow marking the bullseye. He picked up his bow to walk towards Magnus but the other boy was already running towards him.

“You didn’t miss one,” Magnus all but screamed. “You didn’t miss a single one!!!”

Alec grinned, not knowing what else to do.

“Oh my god, you could totally be a secret vigilante like Green Arrow,” Magnus gushed excitedly. “Or a superhero like Hawkeye.”

“They wear too much leather for my taste,” Alec grimaced.

“We are gonna have to make do with your faded t-shirts then,” Magnus chuckled, pointing at Alec blue –t-shirt – which sort of looked white now.

Alec had always thought that clothes were not important – he had thought that clothes didn’t serve a purpose other than to cover one’s body and give warmth. Then he had met Magnus.

He looked at Magnus now – who was wearing a black t-shirt with tiny golden tigers everywhere. His dark skinny jeans fit him perfectly. A golden necklace moved against his chest when Magnus jumped out and down in excitement.

“I don’t think I am that good though,” Alec said, even though he knew he was pretty good – because he liked when Magnus complimenting him.

“Oh, hush you,” Magnus scoffed and swatted him in the arm. His eyes widened a little and Magnus suddenly look flustered. Alec looked at his bicep and cringed inwardly.

“Sorry,” he scratched his head awkwardly. “I am all sweaty.”

Magnus, who was still staring at Alec’s arms chuckled, but there was something off about it. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“Hold on a sec. I’ll be right back,” Alec said and ran towards the target to collect his arrows. When he packed up his gear and walked toward Magnus, the other boy was sitting next to Alec’s backpack and was flipping through Alec’s copy of Emma - his homework assignment for the week. 

_“But, in spite of these deficiencies, the wishes, the hopes, the confidence, the predictions of the small band of true friends who witnessed the ceremony, were fully answered in the perfect happiness of the union.”_

“I love a story that ends with a wedding,” Magnus said after dramatically reading the final quote. 

“Well it depends on who you are getting married to,” Alec grinned.

“True,” Magnus nodded. “Does she get a happy ending? Emma?”

“You have to read the book, Magnus,” Alec winked and held out of his hand for the other boy.

Magnus pouted but didn’t hesitate for a second before reaching out for Alec, who pulled him up. They walked away from the grounds. Aright, okay. Now was the perfect time to ask Magnus out. They had quickly walked to the homeroom to pick up Magnus’ things – Alec narrating the plot of Emma to Magnus after the other boy had pouted a little more.

 _Ask him out_ , the voice inside his head yelled at him. _Now is the right time!_

It did seem like the right time. They were walking down the stairs towards the main gate and if Magnus rejected him, Alec could just jumped out of the window.

“Do you think you will ever write a book?” Magnus asked out of the blue.

“I, uh, what?”

“You once told me that you were not much of a writer – that it was Jace who was eloquent with his words. But I feel that is not true. Do you not want to write?”

Alec sighed. “I do…I just-I don’t know what to write. Jace has been through a lot. He has many stories to tell. I don’t think I have any.”

“Why don’t you write your own story?” Magnus asked.

Alec couldn’t help but laugh.

“A story about a sixteen year old boy coming out of the closet?” Alec asked as he kept walking towards the gate. “Isn’t that a cliché? I am sure people have read hundreds of stories like that before.”

“Alexander,” Magnus pulled him back and Alec realized they had been holding hands the whole time.

“I know it seems like we have better representation now,” Magnus said quietly. “I know more people are telling their stories and it is so much better than before. But there can never be enough stories about sixteen year olds coming out of the closet.”

“I…” Alec said. “I don’t know what it will be about. I don’t know my own story.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Magnus said with confidence. “You always do.”

Alec looked at their hands and looked back at the boy in front of him.

“You are anything but a cliché,” Magnus whispered.

And something in Alec snapped.

“Magnus,” he said urgently. “Magnus, I lo-”

“Shit,” Magnus swore as he untangled his hand from Alec’s and pulled out his vibrating phone. “I was supposed to meet dad half hour ago – somebody totally distracted me. I gotta run. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Alec smiled.

As Magnus ran towards the gate, Alec realized he already missed him.

“Magnus!” he called out just so he could see the other boy’s face one more time.

“What?” Magnus yelled from the gate.

Alec ran towards him, his books hammering in his backpack and his heart hammering inside his chest.

“Will you read it?” he asked, trying to catch his breath. “If I ever write something in the future…If I ever find the courage…Will you read it?”

“Yes,” Magnus answered without hesitation.

“Just the last line?” Alec grinned.

“I’ll read the first and the last and every line in between,” Magnus promised before running away again.

When he reached home, he dropped his gear in his bedroom and ran towards Izzy’s. He knocked on her door loudly and didn’t even wait for her to open it.

“I need to ask you something,” he announced as he entered.

Isabelle, who was watching something on her laptop, stared at him incredulously before rolling her eyes at his theatrics. She picked up her phone and pressed a button.

“I’ll call you later,” she said. “Don’t you dare watch the next episode without me!”

Whoever was on the other end must have said something funny because Isabelle blushed furiously. Alec had never seen his sister blush this much – not without the help of makeup.

“I need to ask you something,” he said again as soon as she ended the call.

“Christ!” Isabelle swore and Alec didn’t have time to wait.

“During lunch, you said you knew Magnus liked me,” Alec blurted out. “You said you _knew_. How do you know?”

“Maybe I don’t,” Izzy replied, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

“Izzy!” Alec said warningly.

“Okay fine, I’ll tell you,” she said, but her face was scowling now. “But first, please go take a shower.”

Alec looked down at himself and grimaced a little. Adrenaline had been pumping through his veins during his walk home and Alec had run straight to Izzy because he had to know – he had to know if Magnus liked him back.

“Why can’t you tell just tell me now?” Alec demanded.

“Because you are all sweaty and gross,” Izzy scrunched her nose.

“Magnus didn’t seem to mind,” Alec mumbled as he left the room hastily.

“I am sure he didn’t!” he heard his sister yell after him.

He took what might have been the world’s quickest shower and put on his blue pajamas before running into Isabelle’s room again.

“How do you know?” he asked as he walked into her room.

His sister was now seated in front of the mirror and was carefully combing her long, dark hair. He could hear Penny Lane playing from her phone. Isabelle was listening to The Beatles again and Alec couldn’t help but remember his father too.

Powerful, dangerous but always well meaning - his father played the role of the anti-hero.

When the hero felt lost, he would talk to the anti-hero because the older man had once been a hero too. But it had never helped and somehow had only made him feel worse. Everything he said and did seemed wrong.

Alec knew that his father had never meant to hurt any of them – not intentionally. He hoped that his father would change and come back one day as the hero Alec had once believed him to be.

“I have always known,” Izzy said, her eyes still focused on the mirror.

“No, but something was different during lunch,” Alec stressed. “You have hinted before and you have teased. But today…It was as if you actually knew. You know something. What is it?”

Isabelle, who looked a little impressed, grinned at him. “His phone.”

“His phone?” Alec blinked.

“We had lab for chemistry in the morning and Mr. Branwell wanted us to pair up with seniors to conduct an experiment. I asked to be Magnus’ partner because he is the brightest chemistry student in his batch and possibly the whole school.”

“Yes, Magnus is a genius and we have known this forever,” Alec said impatiently, even though he couldn’t help but be proud of Magnus for a moment there. “Get to the point.”

“Well, he was doing the experiment and I was the one taking down notes. So when he got a message from his father…Magnus asked me to check it.”

Alec’s heart almost stopped beating. “Mr. Bane…Did he say something about me?”

“Nope, it was something about meeting some relative today evening,” Isabelle answered.

“Was it his wallpaper? Did he have a picture of me or something?”

“Alec, nobody has pictures of you,” Isabelle pointed out. “You hardly pose for anyone.”

“Then what was it?” Alec asked, falling into her bed. “What did you see? How do you know?”

His sister turned towards the bed and smiled at him. “It was his password.”

“Oh,” Alec said.

“1247,” Isabelle grinned and Alec blinked.

“That’s not my name,” Alec pointed out lamely. “That’s not my birthday either.”

“Of course it isn’t! You are not centuries old!” Izzy giggled. “Do you not know what that combination means? 1247, Alec. Think! What does it mean?”

Alec racked his brain. “Well, Willem II of Holland was elected Roman Catholic German emperor but what does have to do with m-”

“You nerd!” Izzy groaned in frustration. “It’s chemistry! 12 is the atomic number of Magnesium and 47 is the atomic number of Silver.”

Alec blinked at her again from the bed.

“Oh my god!” Isabelle groaned again and threw her brush at him. “Did you not pay attention during science class at all? The symbol for Magnesium is Mg and the symbol for silver is Ag.”

Alec blinked again. He wanted to point out that Isabelle was the biggest nerd in their family but he knew that doing so would not do him any favors right now.

“Magnus was named after Magnesium,” Alec told her. “But what’s with silver? Why does that mean he likes me?”

“It’s Ag, Alec!” Izzy face palmed “Those are your initials!”

Oh.

“A lot of people have those initials,” Alec mumbled.

“Sure,” Isabelle said and turned back to the mirror. “Magnus is not in love with you – he is in love with Andrew Garfield or Andy Garcia.”

He had been looking for confirmation - some kind of sign that Magnus liked him back. And now he had it. So it seemed rather ridiculous to be obtuse any longer. Alec walked towards with the brush and held out his hand. Isabelle hesitated for a moment for relaxing.

“He told me he will read my book,” Alec confessed quietly as he brushed his sister’s hair. “If I ever write a book, he said he will read it.”

Even Isabelle seemed startled by that. “Alec, Magnus doesn’t read – ever!”

“I know,” Alec whispered – mostly to himself.

He thought of everything Magnus had told him today and of everything Magnus had told him before. Every compliment, every promise and every encouragement – Alec remembered them all. The things Magnus said – and the way he said it…They were not things you tell a friend or things you would tell a stranger to make them feel better.

He had convinced himself that Magnus was just being nice when in reality Magnus could have genuinely meant his words as much as Alec meant everything he told Magnus.

Mr. Herondale had been right. Alec had been so focused on what will happen in the future, he had lost sight of the present. He had been worried about whether Magnus would say yes and had completely ignored the fact that Magnus had been telling him yes all along.

“Izzy,” Alec gaped at his reflection in the mirror. “I think Magnus likes me.”

“No shit, Sherlock!” his sister rolled her eyes, but she was grinning brightly. “He doesn’t just like you, Alec. He loves you. It’s not that hard to do – trust me.”

Alec looked at his sister in the mirror and his heart swelled up.

Strong, trustworthy and fiercely protective – Isabelle played the role of the trusty sidekick.

When the hero was tired of fighting, it was the sidekick who always lifted him up to fight next to him and to fight for him. Isabelle had always been there for him – _always_. Alec had come to realize that it wasn’t easy for most people. While they promised to be with you, people leave - sometimes because they want to and sometimes because they don’t have a choice.

Even his mother, who loved him with all her heart, made a choice to sacrifice her family for work when they were small. He thought of Mr. Herondale who had to leave Jace with them because he was not well enough to take care of him at one point.

But Isabelle had always been there – because she chose to be next to him. He knew that she could have left with their father and he knew that she could have abandoned him in so many other occasions. But she didn’t. She was always there.

Alec laid a kiss on her head and smiled at her reflection on the mirror.

“I’ll see you downstairs in an hour,” Alec winked at her. “Team Clooney is going to crush you so hard!”

He heard her yell something after him but he his heart was beating too loud and drowned everything else out.

Magnus liked him.

Magnus Bane liked him.

“What’s got you all giddy and giggly?”

Alec looked up to see his mom in her gray pantsuit, probably coming home after work.

“Mom,” Alec said – his lips stuck in a permanent grin as he ran up towards her. “I think Magnus likes me.”

She smiled at him softly and pushed his hair back. “Sweety, everyone likes you."

“No, I think he _likes me_ likes me,” Alec stressed and his mother’s expression changed.

“Oh,” she said shortly.

“Mom, what is it?” Alec asked as she sat down on the couch. “Do you not like him?”

“I never said that,” she replied.

“But you didn’t say anything in the morning,” Alec pointed out, his fingers pulling at his frayed pajama shirt. “You didn’t say anything at all.”

“Alec, I don’t know him,” his mother pointed out. “I cannot judge someone by their looks.”

“Mom,” Alec said in the same careful tone she would sometimes say his name. It meant speak the truth and stop hiding.

His mother sighed and rubbed her face tiredly. “I saw the pictures…And I also saw the backgrounds. He is rich.”

“What do-”

“I also saw the likes and comments,” she went on. “Alec, he has like a million likes! Is that even normal for a sixteen year old?”

Alec wanted to say no. There was nothing normal about Magnus – and Alec loved that.

“You don’t want me to date him?” Alec asked quietly, looking at his bare feet - which felt cold now.

“I didn’t say that,” she shook her head. “I just…I am worried. He is obviously popular and he-”

“You don’t see him with someone like me,” Alec finished for her.

“What? No!” She looked shocked. “I wasn’t going to say that! Alec, honestly! He should be lucky to have you. I am just worried he might not realize it.”

“Mom,” Alec said softly. “I trust him.”

“Izzy and Jace have dated before. But you…You have never dated. You have never been in love. And you are different, Alec. You are a romantic. So when you fall – you fall hard. I am just worried this boy might break your heart. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Mom,” Alec said again – not knowing what else to say.

“I met your dad in high school. He was one of the popular kids and when I started dating him everything changed for me. The whole thing was a whirlwind and before I knew it I was married and we had you.”

“I am sorry about dad,” Alec said and wondered whether this was the first time he said it out loud.

“I am not saying your father didn’t love me, Alec,” she said and he heard a quiet sniffle. “He did. But he also hurt me. I don’t want you to go through something like that. I don’t ever want you to be hurt, do you hear me?”

Alec looked at his mother then.

Tired, hurt and so shockingly strong – holding it all together for her children. His mother played the role of the queen.

When the hero didn’t believe in himself – it was the queen who gave him the quest. She asked him to follow his dreams and cheered him on every step of the way.

When he was a kid, Alec had barely seen his mother. She had always been working hard, trying to get the same recognition as her father – even if they practically did the same job and even if she was better at it.

But despite how long she stayed at work, she would always come to his room to move his hair off his face and kiss him on the head before going to sleep. Sometimes Alec would stay up all night so he could be awake for her kiss. It wasn’t easy running a kingdom – that’s why people needed a queen. It wasn’t easy raising three children all on her own – that’s why his mother was his queen.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, mom. No one does,” Alec told her now, remembering Mr. Herondale’s words.

His mother stared him, her eyes like blue glass.

“I wouldn’t have come out to you if wasn’t for Magnus. I wouldn’t have come out to anyone if it wasn’t for Magnus. I wouldn’t have wanted to write again if it wasn’t for Magnus. I can’t promise you that I will never get hurt, mom. I probably will. But I can promise you that Magnus will never be the one to hurt me.”

His mother smiled as she wiped the unshed tears away. “You really like this Magnus, huh?” 

“You know what the best part is?” Alec asked, wondering if he would ever stop grinning. “I think he really likes me too,” 

“He is _really_ handsome,” she said then.

“Handsome doesn’t even cover it,” Alec sighed.

“Oh god, your babies are going to be so beautiful,” his mother chuckled and sobbed at the same time.

“Moooom,” Alec groaned. “Gross!”

She kissed him on the cheek and poked out her tongue at him. “I need to change before the movie. Lord knows I need me some Clooney to put up with these sappy teenagers.”

Alec poked out his tongue at her now and got off the couch to find his brother.

“Don’t you dare think of running again,” Alec warned when Jace saw him approaching the garden. “It’s the middle of the night and you have nowhere to go.”

“I could always fall down and pretend to be dead,” Jace pointed out.

“Why do I feel like that’s actually one of your coping mechanisms?” Alec chuckled.

“Because it is,” Jace winked. “I do it all the time during practices.”

“Come here,” Alec said, as he sat down on the porch stairs. “I want to talk to you.”

“You never liked talking before. In fact you hated it,” Jace complained as he dusted his hands and sat down next to him. “You have been way too chatty since you started hanging out with Magnus.”

He still didn’t like to talk much. But as Alec had come to realize, some things were too important to hold back.

“It’s actually about that,” Alec informed his brother. “There is something you need to know.”

He told Jace everything – from the day of the detention to the last day of Operation Clace. Jace had listened quietly and let Alec talk. Alec wasn’t aware that Jace was capable of that. He assumed it was Mr. Herondale’s influence.

“Say something,” Alec urged when Jace didn’t say anything back.

“So, we are not throwing a surprise party for Izzy?” Jace asked. “Man, I risked my life to ask Lily if we could borrow Hotel Dumort for the evening! You know how scary that girl can be!”

“First of all, how do you know about Hotel Dumort?” Alec quizzed. “Second of all, why didn’t you just ask Raphael?”

“First of all, I know everything that goes on in Idris,” Jace answered. “Second of all, have you met Raphael? I do not have a death wish!”

“We can still throw a party,” Alec smiled at him.

“Great but you talk to Lily. I don’t think she likes me much,” Jace pouted.

“I cannot wait to meet her then,” Alec grinned but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Jace…Jace, you are not mad at me, are you?”

“It was really stupid, Alec,” Jace pointed out. “But no, I am not mad at you. I’ve never been mad at you. To be entirely honest, I thought you were hanging out with Magnus so you could get dicked. ”

“JACE!!!”

“What?” his brother raised a brow.

Alec sighed deeply. “It was a contributing factor. But no, I did it mostly for you.”

“I can’t believe you did that for me,” Jace whispered into the night.

“Jace, I would do _anything_ for you,” Alec said – his voice utterly serious. 

His brother stared at him – after all this years it still surprised Jace that people loved him unconditionally. It made Alec so sad and so angry that he almost wanted to hurt everyone who had hurt his brother in the past.

“You look happy,” Jace pointed out suddenly, attempting to change the subject. “Why do you look happy?”

“I just realized that Magnus likes me as much as I like him,” Alec told his brother and the other boy smiled.

“I am happy for you,” Jace said, and Alec knew that he meant it. “I cannot believe you bagged the most eligible bachelor in Idris. Well done!”

Alec couldn’t help but smile and it felt like his whole face was lighting up.

“You really like him, don’t you?” Jace asked, looking a little lost. “How do you know? How do you know when you are in love?”

“For a long time, I never felt like I belonged anywhere – not at home, not at Idris, not once place. The place I felt safe and comfortable and happy was when I was reading book. Every time I read a book, I felt so happy. I felt so happy to meet all those people and get to know their stories.”

Jace smiled softly at him and gently squeezed Alec’s hand.

“Do you know Magnus doesn’t read? Like at all. He cannot get through a chapter without falling asleep. His poetry is shit and he names all the writers wrong.”

“And you are in love with this boy?” Jace chuckled.

“That’s how I knew, Jace,” Alec said then. “I belong among the aisles of a library. I exist between the pages of a book. I breathe the voice of my heroes. I live to read. But Magnus…Magnus doesn’t read or talk about books or know all the stories I do. And yet somehow…Somehow when I am with him, I feel like the happiest person in the world.”

“I am glad you are happy,” Jace said quietly. “You deserve to be happy.”

“Everyone does,” Alec replied. “I’ve been thinking…I-Um, I want to be a writer.”

“You should,” Jace replied instantly. “You are an excellent writer.”

“You are biased,” Alec pointed out.

“I swear on the holy ghost of Emily Brontë,” Jace said seriously. “You are the best writer I know.”

“I thought your favorite was Milton,” Alec raised a brow.

“Well, I don’t know Milton, do I?” Jace chuckled.

“I just…I am not as good as you are,” Alec bit his lip. “I am not good with words as you are."

“I don’t know who you are trynna fool, you eloquent bitch,” Jace chuckled and then suddenly looked serious as if he realized that Alec had actually meant what he said.

“Alec, you don’t have to be better than me,” Jace said softly now. “I might…I might know to put words together but I…I don’t feel the same way about writing as you do. What I have is talent – anyone can have that. You have instinct and passion. You _want_ to tell your stories to the world. I…I don’t – I want to forget.”

“Jace, I really am sorry about Operation Clace,” Alec told his brother as earnestly as he could. “I did it because I wanted you to be happy too.”

“Clace,” Jace tested the name carefully. “I like the way it sounds.”

“Ask her out,” Alec gently urged him. “Ask Clary out.”

“No, thanks,” Jace said as he shrugged – but Alec could feel the tension on his shoulders. “Anyway, isn’t she dating Lewis?”

“No, she isn’t. They are just best friends – like we are,” Alec informed him. “Besides, I think Simon is dating Izzy.”

“Izzy? Our Izzy?” Jace gaped and then laughed. “Wow! Respect!”

Alec knew Jace better than anyone so he was aware of what his brother was doing. Alec didn’t mind when Jace deflected because he would never push his brother. But then he reminded himself that some things were too important not to talk about.

“Why?” Alec asked softly. “Why do you keep running away from her?”

The laughing stopped abruptly and Jace stared at his knotted fingers, his golden hair shining in the moonlight.

“Because I am afraid she won’t see me,” Jace confessed into the night.

“She sees you, Jace,” Alec urged.

“But what if she only sees what everyone else can see?” Jace asked, his amber eyes staring into his own.

“And what does everyone else see?”

Jace bit his lip. “Nothing more or less than a dumb jock.”

“People are not always what they seem like, Jace,” Alec offered gently. “Look at Izzy, people judge her for her looks but they don’t realize how smart she is. People look at Magnus and think he has never had a bad day in his life when…when Magnus does have bad days. People look at me and see a soft, shy nerd who only reads books.”

“But you are kind of a soft, shy nerd, who only reads books,” Jace pointed out.

“Okay bad example,” Alec chuckled. “But I am not ashamed of who I am.”

“You don’t mind being a soft, shy nerd who only reads books?” Jace asked.

“I don’t mind at all,” Alec said as strongly as he could. “To love a character more than yourself, to lose your soul in a world of fiction, to feel solace in the company of ink and paper - not everyone is capable of finding beauty and happiness in something that is not entirely real. It does not make me lame or uncool, I think it makes me special. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“So, you are saying I shouldn’t be ashamed of being a dumb jock?” Jace asked, staring at his soil stained feet.

“There is no need because you are not a dumb jock,” Alec said severely. “You are jock, but you are not dumb. Jace, you are one of the smartest people I know!”

“You need to meet more people,” Jace mumbled.

Alec looked at the boy sitting next to him in the pale moonlight.

Tortured, courageous and unbelievable resilient.

“You know when I was a kid, I had trouble figuring out people. I didn’t know who they were or what they were like so I just…I thought of them as characters from stories. I still sometimes do that, you know? It makes things easier.”

Jace smiled at him and shook his head as if to say _of course you did._

“Dad is the anti-hero and mom is the queen. Isabelle is the trusty sidekick and Max is the loveable princess,” Alec confessed and explained how they all fit into the story of his life.

“How about Magnus?” Jace asked when Alec was done. “Is he your knight in shining armor?”

“It’s you,” Alec said softly. “You are my knight in shining armor.”

Jace stared at him disbelief and Alec saw that his eyes were tearing up at the corner.

“Do you remember the night mom and dad had their first big fight?”

All of them had been terrified and stuck in their own rooms. Alec had wished for them to be together, huddled in one bed and holding each other for support. But they were barely eleven and not brave enough to leave their own room.

Except for Jace.

Alec remembered the tiny boy knocking on his door and tiptoeing into his room. Despite being a ball of energy, Jace had been hesitant around Alec and Isabelle in the beginning. His mother had told him that it was because Jace was not used to being around other kids. Alec had never felt more sorry for Jace than in that moment. 

“I think you will like this,” Jace had said and left the book on the table and tiptoed back into his room without another word.

Alec remembered picking up the copy of Wuthering Heights and reading for the very first time. It felt odd that he had discovered his favorite book in the world on a night that led to disastrous consequences for his family. But when Alec thought of Wuthering Heights, he didn’t think of the fight or the divorce that followed after. He thought of Jace, the bravest boy he has met and the best fighter he knew.

“I gave you the copy of Wuthering Heights,” Jace smiled. “And you left me the copy of A Tale of Two Cities the next day.”

That’s how they had started to communicate – the two of them. He had left books for each other on their beds and getting to know each other through their favorite books. They had spoken to each other through books until they had figured out their words. 

“I know we didn’t grow up together,” Alec pointed out. “But I know you. I know you like I know my own soul. You are my knight in shining armor not because you saved me but because you taught me how to save myself. I wouldn’t have got into classics if it wasn’t for you. I wouldn’t have wanted to be a writer it wasn’t for you. If I choose to close my eyes and jump it’s because I know you will be there to catch me. So don’t you dare ever think that you are some dumb muscle in my story! You are my knight in shining armor.”

He lifted Jace’s face so he could stare into his brother’s eyes.

“You learned to quote Milton at five. You became a football prodigy at seven. You mastered Beethoven at nine. Jace, you are anything but dumb. You are my brother and you are the person I am most proud of in the whole world.”

Jace threw himself at Alec and rested his face on his shoulder. Alec let him there and caressed his head softly.

“I want to be a pianist,” Jace whispered.

“Okay,” Alec said.

“Okay?” Jace lifted his head and asked. “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” Alec shrugged. “Once this semester is done, I'll help you look for music schools that offer football scholarships. We'll figure out."

"Thank you," Jace smiled at him. In that moment, in his plain white pajamas, Jace looked exactly like the boy who had knocked in door all those years ago.

"You are gonna be okay," Alec promised his brother. "There is no need for you to go through a crisis like Troy Bolton.”

“I can’t believe Izzy made us watch that!” Jace complained as he sniffled. “She has the worst taste in movies!”

“But we believe in democracy in this household so unfortunately we must suffer through this once a month,” Alec shrugged sadly.

“Do you think I’ll be good?” Jace asked suddenly, his fingers instintively playing the notes on his on his lap. 

“I think you will be great,” Alec smiled.

“You are biased,” Jace pointed out and Alec couldn’t help hear his own words echo in his head.

Why did people find it difficult to take their own advice? Why do we believe other people than we believe ourselves?

“I swear on the holy ghost of James Carstairs,” Alec said seriously. “You will be a great pianist.”

Jace smiled a little at that and rested his face on Alec’s shoulder again.

“I like Clary,” Jace mumbled into his shoulder and Alec’s couldn’t help but shake a little with laughter.

“Yeah, I know. I studied you two for months,” Alec pointed out.

“I wish I could tell her how she makes me feel,” Jace groaned. “But every time I look at her I forget how to talk.”

“I am the same with Magnus,” Alec muttered.

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me, I’ve seen it,” Jace chuckled. “It’s a shame #foodforants never trended.”

“Maybe you should play her something,” Alec suggested, ignoring the jibe. “You have always been able to talk better through the piano.”

“I know but…I don’t think she’ll get it,” Jace said quietly. “I mean, yes she would probably think it sounds beautiful and all but she won’t _get it_ , you know? If you want someone to understand how you feel then you must speak their language. God, I wish I could paint something for her to show her how I feel about her. Wait a minute! Maybe I should!”

Alec remembered the misshapen pancakes from morning and grimaced slightly. “Uh, maybe not? Let’s not make any hasty decisions right now.”

“She is just…I can’t stop looking at her, Alec! She does these little things that drive me crazy!” Jace chuckled and wiped his eyes. “She puts her hair up when she is frustrated. She bites on her pencil when she is thinking. She traces little doodles on her lunch tray when she waits in the queue – have you noticed?”

“Of course, I haven’t – you stalker!” Alec laughed.

“Hypocrite,” Jace hit him the shoulder. “I once caught you shamelessly ogling Magnus while he was working out – and that was when you were in the closet for god’s sake!”

“What can I say?” Alec shrugged. “There is a lot to ogle.”

Jace giggled at that. “You never told me about Magnus. Who is he in your story?”

Alec thought of Magnus then.

Alec thought of his impossibly unique golden green eyes and unimaginably generous heart and inspiringly brave soul.

“He is the High Warlock,” Alec said. “The hero thinks he could get through the quest all on his own. He thinks he doesn’t need anyone and he doesn’t deserve one. Then he meets the High Warlock and realizes that he needs him. He needs his magic to finish quest.”

“Magical High Warlock, huh?” Jace grinned.

Alec would sometimes look at Magnus and wonder how in the world it was possible for someone like Magnus to be real. Magnus was so beautiful, on the inside and out, that Alec had convinced himself that there was indeed some magic involved.

He needed that magic wherever he went. He needed Magnus. His insecurities can suck it because Alec was going to ask Magnus out – no more bullshit.

 _If you want someone to understand how you feel then you must speak their language_ , Jace had said earlier. Alec knew just how to do that. Well, he might need Izzy’s help but he knew what to do.

"Tomorrow when we get to school, I am going to ask him out and you are going to ask Clary out. Okay?”

Jace suddenly tensed but Alec squeezed his hand reassuringl and felt Jace relax against his shoulders.

“Close your eyes and jump?” Jace asked.

“Close your eyes and jump,” Alec grinned. “If I fall, you’ll catch me, right?”

“I don’t do fifty push ups in the morning for nothing,” Jace answered. “I’ll catch you.”

Jace got up and dusted the sand off his pants. “But before all the asking and falling and catching, I’d like to quickly circle back to that bit where you said you’d do _anything_ for me.”

Alec groaned as he got up as well. “You are gonna make me regret it, aren’t you?”

“You know it, buddy,” Jace winked and skipped towards Izzy’s room.

Alec was definitely concerned but followed his brother anyway. As Alec walked into Isabelle’s room, he remembered Mr. Herondale’s words. _Some people were worth having in your life despite all the pain._ He realized it was definitely true considering he spent the next half hour learning a TikTok dance with his siblings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known I will be pay $100 million to watch Alec, Jace and Izzy do a TikTok dance.
> 
> Thoughts? Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> I'll see you next week with the finale :) Till then, drink water and wash your hands and listen to the Beatles.
> 
> Fun fact: The piano was invented in Italy in 1709 by Bartolomeo di Francesco Cristofori.


	12. Calculus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you, uh, do you love me?”
> 
> “Is Dmitri Mendeleev the inventor of the modern periodic table?” Magnus asked.
> 
> “I honestly don’t know but I hope the answer is yes,” Alec chuckled nervously. “Otherwise this is going to get really awkward.”
> 
> “Alexander,” Magnus said softly. "Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t go around asking just anyone if they want to make love with me.”
> 
> Beautiful portraits, Difficult Formulas, First kisses and Other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got nothing to say other than - 
> 
> Happy fucking reading :)

“Hey, Alexander! Are you calculus homework? Cause you’d be hard and I’d be doing you on my desk.”

Hmmm.

Magnus frowned at the reflection in the bathroom mirror. Of course he couldn’t say that to Alec! Calculus homework was never hard! In fact, Magnus actually _liked_ doing his calculus homework.

He clicked his tongue in inspiration and styled his hair differently again.

“Hey, Alec! Are you calculus homework? Cause I like doing you.”

He frowned at his reflection again. It wasn’t right. None of it was right.

It was finally the day he was going to ask Alec out. He had been super excited about it last night – so much so that he had almost tried to ask the other boy out via text. But Magnus was nothing but a romantic so he had wanted to give Alec the full package.

So far no packages had been delivered – not even the fun kind.

He kept thinking about how Alec had high expectations in relationships. He kept thinking about how Alec would be happier with someone who was…not so different. He tried to remember everything his father had told him – about how Alec wouldn’t care and that differences are good in relationships and all the other sensible things.

But rational thought had nothing against teen angst.

So Magnus kept thinking about every way today could go wrong.

He huffed out a breath of frustration and combed his hair down. He couldn’t settle on a hairstyle so he decided it would be better to just let it be. He moved toward his wardrobe and looked at the array of clothes strewn all over the floor. He sighed tiredly and picked up the simple black t-shirt that said ‘BLINK IF YOU WANT ME’.

He put on his jeans, t-shirt and stared at himself in the mirror. He wondered if he should go for something extravagant but then shook his head. No. This was the plan. He wanted Alec to see him like this – without his glitter and make up and fancy clothes.

“You’ve got this, Bane,” he muttered to himself and picked up the neatly wrapped box from his bed. He ran down the stairs, placed the box on the kitchen counter and opened the fridge to find some frozen yoghurt but then decided he could grab something at Java Jones.

“You’re up early.”

“Jesus Christ!” Magnus swore and turned around to see his father sitting on the dining table. “You’re the one to talk.”

“But I always wake up early,” his father pointed out. “Magnus, the sun is barely out yet.”

“I have an errand to run,” Magnus pointed out. “Did you have breakfast yet?”

“No.”

Magnus turned around and looked at his father sharply. “Dad, how many times do I have to tell you? Breakfast is th-”

“The most important meal of the day,” his father rolled his eyes. “You have only told me a million times.”

“I wouldn’t have to tell you if you didn't keep skipping breakfast,” Magnus rolled his eyes back.

“It’s not even six in the morning yet,” his father pleaded. “Give me a break. My stomach is still asleep.”

“Fine! But I am watching you!” Magnus threateningly pointed a finger at his father. “I gotta bounce. I’ll see you in the evening.”

“You are leaving? Right now?”

“I told you I have an errand to run,” Magnus repeated.

“But you aren’t wearing makeup,” his father said sounding lost. “Are you going to school like this?”

Magnus bit his lip.

“Why?” he asked, checking his reflection in a nearby plate. “Do I not look okay?”

“Magnus, you always look okay,” his father smiled. “Sometimes annoyingly so.”

“That’s right!” Magnus grinned and hoped his father wouldn’t see through it. “Catch you later.”

“No,” his father said in that voice that meant he wasn’t joking around. “You are not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“There is nothing wrong!” Magnus replied in frustration. “Maybe I ran out of makeup.”

“Try again,” his father crossed his arms.

Magnus sighed and rubbed his face. He cringed and thought ‘ _Oh no! My makeup!_ ’ Then felt immediately empty when he realized that he wasn’t wearing any.

“I am going to ask Alec out,” Magnus said, not looking at his father.

“And?”

“And???” Magnus snapped. “And I want him to like me!”

“Why do you assume he wouldn’t like you if you were wearing makeup?” his father questioned.

“I don’t know, dad! I just want him to like me, okay? Maybe it’s easier to like me when I am not wearing all of that. Maybe it’s easier to say yes.”

His thoughts went to Camille who had told him that he looked better when he wasn’t wearing makeup - that he was easier to love. She had told him that he looked manly. Magnus wasn't sure if Alec would feel the same way. 

“Alright. Okay,” his father nodded slowly. “What if Alec says yes? Are you _never_ going to wear makeup ever again?”

Oh.

Magnus honestly hadn’t thought about that. It was impossible to imagine Alec saying yes so he hadn’t thought about what would happened if he did say yes.

“You are lying,” his father said softly. “By pretending to be someone you are not, you are lying to Alec and you are lying to yourself. A relationship that is built on lies will not survive for long, Magnus.”

He knew that. But he also wanted Alec to like him.

He knew Alec liked him. But what if Alec liked him better one way more than the other? There had been many who were attracted to Magnus because of his makeup and many who were not – because of his makeup.

Magnus did not want his makeup to be a determining factor in his relationships.

He looked at his father now, his golden green eyes as worried as Magnus’ were. “But what if I get rejected - because of my makeup?”

“Then he wouldn’t be rejecting your makeup. He would be rejecting you. It’s not something separate. Your makeup is a part of you, Magnus. If anyone asks you to compromise a part of yourself, they are not worth fighting for.”

He remembered Camille and how she had literally given him a list of things she had wanted him to change. He remembered changing every single one until his friends had lost their patience and had staged an intervention.

Love was not about changing the people we liked. It was not about changing ourselves for them either. Love was about acceptance – at their best and at their worst and all the other places in between.

“Maybe I could wear some eyeliner,” Magnus said slowly.

“Maybe the one with the silver glitter,” his father smiled. “It will match the sequins in your t-shirt.”

He dropped a kiss on his father’s cheek and ran up the stairs to quickly do his makeup. He went for the silver glittery eyeliner as per his father’s excellent recommendation. He styled his hair up and added some strawberry lip gloss. He even went ahead and put on a couple of rings.

Magnus was as an all or none guy. It was either no makeup at all or a straight up glitter fest. He winked at himself in the mirror and ran downstairs again.

“You look like your mom,” his father grinned.

“Jeez, I know I am wearing lip gloss – but seriously?” Magnus laughed.

“I meant, you look a little…crazy,” his father elaborated. “Anna always had this crazy look in her eyes before she announced she was going to do something completely ridiculous – like going skydiving.”

“I’ll add skydiving to our summer plans,” Magnus poked out his tongue. “I am not doing anything crazy. I am just going to ask Alec out.”

It was actually very crazy. Probably even crazier than skydiving. The thought of asking Alec out sounded exactly like skydiving – only without a parachute.

Magnus pushed down the fear in his stomach and picked up the box from the kitchen counter.

“What’s that?” his father asked.

“A gift.”

“I know that,” his father waved his hand. “What’s inside?”

“A book,” Magnus shrugged.

“Oh my god? Is it for Alec? Why am I even asking? It’s for Alec! What is it? Who wrote it? Did you get a hardcover? Magnus, tell me it's a hardcover!!”

Magnus stared at his father, who was gripping the table in excitement.

“It is a book called ‘ _Are You a Little Too Obsessed with Your Child’s Love Life?_ ’,” Magnus grinned. “It’s the sequel to ‘ _Stop Texting Your Child’s Crush_ ’.”

“Very funny,” his father deadpanned. “Seriously! What is it?”

“I am not telling you that,” Magnus said as he put on his backpack.

“Oh, god. It’s twilight, isn’t it?” his father asked sadly.

“It’s not twilight,” Magnus replied. Alec had already read the entire series as it was his guilty pleasure. He would take that secret with him to the grave.

His father sighed in relief this time. “I suppose it should be alright then. I hope he likes it.”

“I hope so too,” Magnus smiled at his father and walked to the door. The sun was starting to rise and so was the hope inside his chest.

“Magnus!” his father called and ran after him to the car. He pulled him into a hug and then held his face in his hands, with a ridiculously giant smile on his face.

“Aku cinta kamu.”

“I love you too, dad,” Magnus smiled. “Now go have breakfast!”

Magnus got into his car and pulled out to the street. The mission was simple – go to Alec’s house, give him the book and ask him out.

Of course, he could ask Alec out in school. But he didn’t want to stay in Idris if Alec rejected him. So, he had a contingency plan of driving back home and watching The Devil Wears Prada with a tub with ice cream.

But first…He had to make a quick detour. If he was going to ask Alec out, he wanted to do it with a clear conscious. There was one last person he had to talk to – and he wasn’t going to talk to Alec without having that conversation first.

He walked into Java Jones, his favorite coffee shop in Brooklyn. Regardless of the time of the day, it always had the right amount of people. It was never crowded and nor was it ever empty. He waved at the familiar figure sitting in one of the booths staring out of the glass walls.

“Hey!” Clary waved when she spotted him walking towards her. “You look spectacular!!”

“So why does that sound like a complaint?” Magnus chuckled as he sat down opposite her.

“Because it’s 6.30 in the morning,” Clary groaned. “No one is supposed to look this good at 6.30 in the morning!!”

Magnus was pleased. Clary’s compliment/complaint eased his insecurities and made him feel even more confident than before.

“All it takes is some effort and lots of glitter,” Magnus winked.

“I have neither,” Clary rolled her eyes as she sipped her coffee. “Are you going to tell me why you had to meet me so early? My mom asked me a million questions.”

Magnus was slightly surprised. Mrs. Fairchild trusted him more than any other friend of Clary’s.

Okay maybe that was not true. She obviously trusted Simon the most - and then Maia and Catarina and probably Raphael. Maybe it made a little sense that Clary’s mother didn’t trust him much because he was always looking for trouble. He realized she would like him a lot less when she finds about what he was going to tell her daughter.

“I wanted to talk to you about Operation Clace.”

“Operation Clace?” Clary frowned. “What the hell is an Operation Cla…Nooo. NO! Magnus, you didn’t! Magnus, you asshole!”

“I am sorry!!!” Magnus pleaded. “I honestly thought it would work out but it didn’t. But I am really, really sorry.”

Clary released a deep breath and narrowed her eyes at him. “I really want to throw my coffee in your face right now. But I am digging your look. Most importantly, I need caffeine to survive the rest of the day. So, count yourself lucky.”

“You two really make a cute couple though,” Magnus mumbled.

“You know I can always ask Kaelie for another coffee, right?” Clary raised an eyebrow threateningly.

“I am really sorry,” Magnus mumbled again – truly meaning it every time he said it.

He had known that what he did had been stupid and reckless and ill-advised. But he hadn’t realized how bad he could have messed things up until his father had talked to him about it.

“It’s okay,” Clary said and reached out for his hand. “I know you were trying to do something nice for me.

Magnus shook his head.

“I want you to know it wasn’t completely selfless. One of the reasons I did Operation Clace was so that I can get closer to Alec.”

“Alec?” Clary looked surprised. “Why would he help you?”

“Because he would do anything for his brother,” Magnus replied, feeling even more guilty.

“Are you sure it had nothing to do with…I don’t maybe a really hot boy asking him to make secret plans in supply closets?”

He rolled his eyes at Clary. “There were no supply closets involved. Although we did find ourselves in a bathroom cubicle one ti-”

“Okay TMI!!” Clary waved her hands at him frantically. “So, are you guys a thing now? Please tell me something good came out of this.”

“I think it did,” Magnus shrugged. “I mean, I am closer to Alec than I was before. We are…friends. I think there might be something. I don’t know. All I know is that I know him better than I did before – and I really like the boy I got to know.”

“Well, then I am glad,” Clary smiled, squeezing his hand.

“Clary, I feel so guilty,” Magnus confessed. “I can’t believe I would try something so reckless just so I could get closer to a boy and-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Clary reassured him. “The Lightwoods can get through to the sanest of people. They are really annoying and attractive like that.”

They sat there like that in silence, the familiar sounds of the coffee shops surrounding them in a bubble of safety and comfort.

“You like him,” Magnus pointed out after a minute.

“Of course I like him! But that’s exactly the problem, Magnus! Everyone likes him. So, why would he like me back? He doesn’t reciprocate the feelings of every girl who fawns over him. I even heard he turned down Si Lee and she is the captain of the cheer squad for god’s sake! So, why would he ever like me? I am just Clary.”

It was his turn to squeeze her hand.

“I really like Just Clary,” Magnus pointed out. “Just Clary is amazing. She is beautiful, talented, smart and kind – and good god she is so damn brave. You know what I like most about Just Clary? She would go to hell for friends – literally.”

Clary blushed and giggled at that. “Are you referring to that time Simon and I had to come pull you out of that Black Friday Sale at Sephora?”

“11th circle of inferno,” Magnus shuddered and Clary giggled again. “I meant every word I said. I know Jace can be a little too much – that he is the most popular boy in school.”

“Second most popular boy,” Clary pointed out and Magnus grinned at her.

“Second most popular boy,” Magnus nodded. “But trust me - he has embarrassing secrets, irrational fears and guilty pleasures and family drama like the rest of us. Hell, he probably gets zits like the rest of us too.”

“I’ve never seen you get zits!” Clary argued.

“Remember when I was absent for a whole week last year because ‘I had the flu’?” Magnus asked innocently. “It was not so much the flu that had me bedridden. It was actually a giant zit on my nose.”

“Oh my god! That’s why you didn’t want us to visit you!” Clary said in shock. “Magnus, you are crazy!”

“Which is kind of my point,” Magnus shrugged. “None of us are perfect. We are all a little crazy at Idris.”

“It should probably be our official school motto,” Clary chuckled. “I’ll have chat with Luke.”

They chuckled together and discussed other possible mottos for Idris. It was only when Clary was drawing a flower with the leftover ketchup on her plate did she look a little nervous.

“I know that he is a little crazy. I am not afraid of that. God knows I have put up with you people long enough to get desensitized to all sorts of craziness,” Clary laughed nervously as Magnus poked out his tongue at her. “I was…I am just…What bothers me is that how organized and perfect he is. He is just so…He is so put-to-together – like he was raised in a factory that creates perfect little boys. And I…I am so fucking chaotic and drama follows me wherever I go.”

“Something tells me that Jace would actually enjoy the drama,” Magnus smiled at her. “I know he can be intimidating. But he is just human like the rest of us too.”

“I know. I know,” Clary sighed. “It’s hard to see because he hides it so well. He always looks so confident and collected – like he knows the answer to every question in the world. But sometimes…just sometimes – if you look a little closely…If you see through his glamour, you notice that he is just a little lost like the rest of us.”

“Huh-huh?” Magnus grinned.

“Have you ever seen him when he thinks no one is looking at him? I know he is handsome as hell and all that. But he looks breathtakingly beautiful when he is…Just Jace,” Clary smiled as if she was recalling a pleasant memory. "Like an angel in one of Botticelli's paintings."

Magnus smiled at his friend – who was without doubt an absolute goner for Jace Lightwood.

“It’s the little things about him. I know he is the captain of the football team and the second most popular boy. But god, it’s the little things about him that makes me go crazy. Like how he rubs the star shaped scar on his shoulder when he is thinking too seriously. How his shoulders relax slightly, just a little, every time his brother sits next to him. How his fingers play the piano on his lunch tray when he is standing in line at the cafeteria.”

Magnus’ grin got wider. “Okay that’s enough, Ms. Stalky Stalkerson.”

“Oh, you are the one to talk, Mr. Creepy Creeperson,” Clary accused unfairly. “I heard you were ogling Alec at the archery grounds yesterday.”

“Please say your goodbyes to Simon as I will be murdering him later today,” Magnus said with a straight face.

“It’s not your fault. The Lightwoods are fucking hot,” Clary stated facts.

“Oof, that they are,” Magnus sighed and then looked at his friend with determination. “Listen, I am going to ask Alec out today. Maybe you should ask Jace out too.”

Clary laughed. “Yeah, no thanks. I am not going to do that.”

“Oh, Clary! Come on!” Magnus groaned. “There is nothing wrong with girls asking out guys!”

“I know that,” Clary rolled her eyes. “It’s just…I mean, yes, I like him. But that doesn’t mean I have to ask him out, right?”

“No, but-”

“No buts. I don’t think we are meant to be together,” Clary said firmly, but a little sadly too. “I mean, look what happened with Operation Clace! If we were meant to be, then shouldn’t it have worked?”

“Operation Clace was implemented by two sixteen year old idiots who had no fucking clue what they were doing,” Magnus pointed out. “I think you should give this a real shot.”

“I don’t know, Magnus,” Clary shook her head. “Maybe I am not the right person for Jace. He is too good for me anyway. I don’t think the universe wants us to be together.”

Magnus stared at Clary until she lifted her chin and finally looked up at him.

“We deserve good things, biscuit,” he told her. “We need to believe that before the universe does.”

Clary’s lips curved into a soft smile and she gave his hand another gentle squeeze.

“I want you to say it. I know you have been through a lot. But it doesn’t mean all you are destined for is drama and disaster. You deserve good things. Will you please say that for me?”

Clary blushed and nodded. “I deserve good things.”

“Excellent!” Magnus grinned. “Now will you ask Jace out?”

“Nope,” Clary grinned.

“Cheater!” Magnus gasped.

“I mean, I am not going to ask him out today!” Clary argued. “I know you are a senior but I am not! So, let me take my sweet time.”

“Okay fine fair enough,” Magnus rolled his eyes playfully. “For the record, this is why I had to resort to Operation Clace. You people are impossible!”

“Hey, Kalie! Can I get another coffee please? Magnus is missing some on his face.”

“I yield! Please have mercy, it took me forever to settle on his hairstyle,” Magnus conceded as he hopped off his seat.

“Simon will meet me here in a few minutes. Do you want to walk to school with us?”

The thought of walking to school with his friends seemed less daunting than going over to Alec’s and giving him the gift and then asking him out. But it had to be done.

“I am going to Alec’s before school,” Magnus told her. “There is something I need to give him.”

“YAS!” Clary cheered from the booth. “ _Give it to him!”_

“Clarissa Fairchild!” Magnus chastised but blew her a kiss.

As he got into his car and prepared himself for his mission, his phone pinged with a text.

_**Good luck with Alec. You deserve good things too <3** _

Magnus smiled at his phone and looked at the coffee shop to see Clary waving at him through the glass door. He waved back at her and started driving towards the Lightwood residence.

He hadn’t realized how close Alec’s home was to Java Jones until he found himself parked outside the house in less than ten minutes. He knew that all he had to do was get out, go in and say the words. But there was so much that stopped him from doing all of that – so many fears and insecurities that somehow, despite all effort, kept crawling their way back into his mind.

It didn’t matter how many people had reassured him that it was going to work out just fine – it did not make him feel any better. Magnus didn’t know why. He was so frustrated with himself and his ability to believe what everyone was telling him.

He took in a calming breath and walked out of his car towards the front door. His hand stopped mid knock and he took a quick step back. He knew that Alec’s mom was at home as it was only seven in the morning. He didn’t think she would appreciate him barging into her house and proclaiming his love for her son in the middle of breakfast.

He had never met Alec’s mother and he wanted to make a good first impression.

And of course, he did not want her or Alec’s siblings to see his face in case Alec said no. He didn’t want them to watch him cry – even if he had worn waterproof eyeliner as a precaution.

So, Magnus resorted to something safer. He stared at the giant oak tree and braced himself for the climb. He put on his backpack, the gift carefully packed inside. and started climbing up. He walked through the giant branch slowly and then carefully made his way to Alec’s window.

He tapped on it a couple of times and waited for Alec to open it. He pushed the pool of anxiety deeper and put on a bright smile.

The lady who opened the window had an equally bright smile as well.

“Hello there!” she waved at him casually with a broom in her hand, as if she was used to strangers climbing up to her son’s bedroom every Friday morning. “I always love a dramatic entrance, but Jace is very sentimental about this tree. So do you mind taking the front door?”

And with that – she simply walked away, presumably to open said front door.

So much for making good first impressions!

Magnus briefly wondered what would happen if he built a treehouse and lived there forever instead of going down and talking to Alec’s mother.

He had already been a nervous wreck about his talk with Alec. He did not have enough energy to have serious talks with two Lightwoods today.

Maybe this doesn’t have to be a serious talk. Maybe he could tell Mrs. Lightwood that he was…trying to return Alec’s homework. Maybe she didn’t know that they didn’t take any classes together. Magnus could totally pass off as an English student.

He convinced himself of yet another crazy plan and climbed down the tree and walked towards the house. The front door was closed but Alec’s mother was sitting on the couch in the porch. She gestured at Magnus to sit next to him and he didn’t know what else to do but comply.

“You must be Magnus,” she pointed out. “The chemistry wizard of Idris High.”

Guess there was no need to give an elaborate backstory about being an English student and an ardent fan of Jim Hardy...Or was it Pam?

It suddenly hit him there was no possible way that she could recognize him or know about his interests unless…

“Did Alec talk to you about me?” Magnus asked, internally cringing at how hopeful he sounded.

The older woman suddenly looked alarmed. “Um…No. No. It was, uh, Izzy. She does chemistry too!”

Of course.

“Yeah, uh, that’s why I came over,” Magnus said, putting on a smile even though it pained him to do so. “Uh, I borrowed her notes and wanted to give it back. I guess I got the wrong window.”

The older woman raised a perfectly styled eyebrow and crossed her arms. The look she gave him sent a chill down his spine.

“How could you miss her window? She is in her room and she is pretty loud.”

“Ummm. I have hearing issues?”

“But aren’t you a senior? Why would you need her notes?”

“Uhhh, she is, uh, she is just _that_ good, you know?”

“I thought you were supposed to be a chemistry wizard or warlock or something?”

“I am. But she is like the high priestess. So, technically she has more powerful in this scenario.”

“Hmmm. But why did you climb up to her window? You could have just knocked on the front door.”

“Um, I didn’t want to disturb, eh, you during breakfast.”

“Couldn’t you have texted her to come out and get it?”

“My phone doesn’t have signal!”

“Well, you could have just given it to her in school?”

“I…I guess, um, she needed it to, uh, study for an…exam.”

“What exam?”

“Uh, I-I am...uh, chemistry?”

“What is it on?”

“OH MY GOD! I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW! I JUST CAME TO SEE ALEC AND I SAW YOU AND I FREAKED OUT AND THEN I LIED AND NOW I AM SWEATING! JESUS CHRIST!”

He started blowing out deep breaths and to his surprise Alec’s mother started to laugh.

“Now that’s more like it,” she grinned proudly. “I am so sorry. I am a defense attorney and my interrogation skills do come in handy once in a while when dealing with teenagers.”

Magnus chuckled nervously. “I can’t believe Alec kept his sexuality a secret from you for all these years.”

The smile on her died instantly and Magnus wanted to slam his head back against the wall. What an idiotic thing to say!!

“Ma’am, I am sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you. I jus-”

“You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” she said quietly. “Alec is really good at keeping secrets. But I suppose I wasn’t…I wasn’t there enough for him to trust me with his secret.”

“He trusts you,” Magnus told her. “And he loves you.”

She smiled a little at that. “He told me that he wouldn’t have come out to me if it wasn’t for you. Thank you. Thank you for being there for my son.”

Magnus didn’t know what to say to that. Of course he had been supportive towards Alec. But he had never done any of it because he wanted Alec to come out or he wanted Alec to date him.

“I just wanted him to be happy,” Magnus shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

“One person’s nothing can mean everything to some people,” she told him. “So, I do really mean it. Thank you.”

“Um, you’re welcome,” Magnus said awkwardly.

“He left to school early today,” she pointed out. “That’s why I was in his room cleaning - because it was empty for once.”

“Oh?” Magnus said. “Why did he leave early?”

“Alec was hoping to ask y…Um, he had an important presentation today,” she said nervously. “So, he went to school early so he can practice.”

“Jace too?”

“Where Alec goes, Jace goes too,” she smiled.

“Right okay,” Magnus nodded. He pulled out the box from his backpack and gave it to the woman. “I, uh, I wanted to give this to Alec.”

She stared at the neatly wrapped blue box on her lap and then looked up at him.

“You like him.”

It somehow sounded like both a question _and_ a statement – as if she sure of it and unsure if it at the same time.

“I do,” Magnus said.

Why did he say that? He didn’t know. He was making really bad judgements today.

“Just to be clear, you _like him_ like him?”

Magnus couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Yes, Ma’am. I _like him_ like him.”

He couldn’t believe he had just confessed his love for Alec to his mother – before even telling Alec! Who in the world confesses to their crush’s parent before telling their crush!?!

“You can call me Mrs. Lightwood,” she smiled at him.

Magnus tried to smile back but instead bit his lip.

“Mrs. Lightwood,” he said. “Can I ask you something totally random?”

“I love totally random questions,” she grinned.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Magnus asked her.

Mrs. Lightwood sighed and neatly folded her hands on her lap. She looked intimidatingly beautiful – much like Alec’s sister.

“I don’t believe you can force something that isn’t there,” she told him now with a sad smile on her face. “I don’t mean to sound cynical, but I don’t believe in fate or destiny. I believe if you want something, you have to work hard for it.”

Magnus nodded quietly.

“What brought this on?” she asked, her voice sounding so motherly that for a minute he almost imagined his own mother sitting next to him.

“I just…They say that soulmates are supposed to make you feel perfect – that they fit. Like jigsaw pieces, you know? They say that’s how you know when someone is your soulmate – because they complete you.”

“That sounds terribly...romantic,” Mrs. Lightwood pointed out.

“It’s just that I don’t…I don’t feel that way about Alec,” Magnus finally confessed. “I used to think that he was my soulmate. But I don’t think he completes me and I don’t think we fit together at all. Maybe I was wrong. I don’t know.”

“Sweetheart,” she called softly and Magnus looked up at her. “I might be wrong but I don’t think our soulmates are supposed to make us feel perfect. I know that people say that our soulmate should make us feel whole and complete. But I don’t believe so.”

“You don’t?” Magnus asked in a quiet voice.

“I don’t – because that whole theory implies that we are incomplete in the first place. I don’t think that’s true. We are perfect and our souls are complete regardless of whether we have a soulmate or not. A soulmate is someone who loves you and understands you more than anyone in the world. So, they are not supposed to make you feel incomplete or imperfect. They are the ones who look at you and see nothing but perfection. So if you feel that Alec doesn’t complete you, it’s because you don’t need someone else to complete you. You are perfect just as you sure.”

And that’s exactly how Alec had always made him feel. Alec had never ever made him feel like he was imperfect. In fact Alec had always been the one to point out that Magnus was perfect in every possible way.

Unlike most people he had dated, Alec didn’t want to complete him. Alec just wanted him like this – with all the good and all the bad.

“And trust me when I say that relationships are not like a jigsaw puzzle,” the woman continued with a chuckle. “I wish it were that simple. I wish there was a perfect picture you can look at and just try to piece things together until yours looked like that too. But there is no perfect relationship. Every relationship is different. It’s less like a jigsaw puzzle and more like…a pot of clay. You have to mold it how you see fit. And whatever you create with your partner, it might not look like what other people have made. But it will still be yours – wholly and completely yours.”

Magnus smiled at her softly then and she raised her hand to reach the hair falling on his face and then quickly pulled back and shook her head with a chuckle.

“You know that Alec thinks you are perfect, right?” she asked him.

Magnus knew.

“But I am not perfect,” he told her. “It scares me. I know I look perfect and act perfect but I have…I have issues too. I am not as strong as everyone thinks – as Alec thinks. He told me the I am the strongest person he knows. I still sometimes cry in the bathroom thinking about my mother. She has been dead for years now and it doesn’t make sense to cry now. But I do. So, no I am not perfect.”

“It’s okay to cry, Magnus. It doesn’t make you imperfect.”

“But am I not too young for all of this?” Magnus asked her. “Someone told me that I am too young to know real loss and I shouldn’t let this bother me. They told me that I’d only know truly loss when I grow up – that I shouldn’t waste my tears on someone who isn’t here anymore.”

He still remembered Aunt Lilith’s talk – when she had found him crying in his closet after his mother’s funeral. She had told him not to cry – that he must save his tears. Magnus had never told his father about the incident and he didn’t want to. The two of them already had a rocky relationship and Magnus didn't want to make it any worse.

“I…” Mrs. Lightwood started and stopped. “I…I lost my brother when I was young too. Losing him…It broke me in ways that I can’t explain. When I had my kids, I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to make sure they never have go throw anything so painful. But as you might know, I wasn’t successful. My kids lost their brother too – in a different way, but the pain is still the same. Losing people – it changes you. You never truly move on, you just learn to live with it. I miss my brother every day and it’s been decades since I lost him. I was eleven when he passed and I miss him today as much as I missed him back then. It doesn’t matter how old you are, Magnus. You are never too young to know loss.”

“And I know that you might have to face worse things as you grow up. But that doesn’t mean that you cannot mourn what you have lost. You are allowed to miss your mom – even it has been four days or four months or four hundred years. She might not be here anymore but your feelings are right here, aren’t they? So cry as much as you want and miss her as much as you want. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that your pain is invalid.”

Magnus didn’t know what to say other than “Can I hug you?”

She didn’t say yes or no – just pulled him into a hug. Magnus instantly realized how Alec had learned to give the best hugs.

“Mom, did you see my bio-”

Isabelle, who was standing by the door, blinked at them for a second and then shrugged before walking away.

“Nothing fazes that girl,” Mrs. Lightwood muttered with a chuckle.

“I might be able to tell you about a little something that fazes her,” Magnus said with a grin. “Something that wears glasses and talks way too much about Star Wars.”

If he had to throw Simon under the bus to score mom points with Mrs. Lightwood then so be it. He would find a way to make up to Simon later.

“Oh, I really like you,” she beamed at his offer.

“I hope Alec really likes me too,” Magnus added shyly.

Something very brief flashed in her eyes. It wasn’t there for longer than a second but Magnus who studied elements carefully and closely never missed such micro expressions.

He knew what he saw – fear.

She had realized that he had noticed as she felt his body tense next to him.

“I…I didn’t,” she stammered and looked away. “I am just afraid. I am sorry. I am just afraid for my son. I don’t want to him to get hurt.”

Magnus turned around and looked at her.

“Mrs. Lightwood,” he said in a firm voice. “Please look at me.”

She looked up with her blue eyes, much deeper and sadder than Alec’s, staring at him worriedly.

“I have been looking for love my whole life. I am aware that sounds a little ridiculous for a sixteen year old to say – but it is the truth. I have looked for love my whole life and in my pursuit of happiness and love – I dated so many people.”

He saw her wince a little but carried on anyway.

“I am not ashamed of it. Everyone I dated had made an effect on me and I am grateful for those experiences because it made me who I am today. But despite all of this dating, I…I’ve never known love like this. I didn’t know that I was capable of loving someone more than myself. I love him with every single atom in my body.”

There was a small smile on her face and Magnus reached out nervously and took hold of her hand.

“Please believe me when I say that I will never ever hurt your son. I would rather be hurt myself than hurt Alec.”

Mrs. Lightwood sniffled a little. “Alec has always looked out for everyone but himself. You promise you will look out for him?”

“I promise.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” she said. “You should be leaving to school now.”

“Sweetheart,” Magnus repeated the pet name before he could stop himself.

“Oh, I am sorry,” she looked a little embarrassed. “I am so used to calling my kids by pet names and I just…It just slip-”

“No, no,” Magnus said quickly. “I like it.”

Mrs. Lightwood smiled brightly at that. She picked up the blue box from the table and passed it to Magnus. “You give it to Alec yourself, okay? You can give it to him at school.”

And suddenly Magnus wasn’t afraid to talk to Alec at school anymore. He wasn’t afraid that they were incompatible or that Alec would find him unattractive or any of that. He suddenly believed in himself and Alec more than before.

“You know, everyone has been telling me that Alec and I are perfect for each other. But I never believed them. I didn’t believe my friends or my dad or anyone. It was so hard to believe what they said. But after talking to you…After telling you that I would never hurt Alec…I am not afraid anymore.”

Mrs. Lightwood smiled at him. “Sometimes it doesn’t matter who tells the truth or how many times they say it. Sometimes the truth is more convincing when it comes from within.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Lightwood,” he said again and walked towards his car before quickly running back to the porch again.

“Just a quick question before I go,” Magnus said. “Do you by any chance like chemistry?”

“Um, no?” she raised a brow.

“Fashion?”

“Not really?”

“Glitter???”

“Uhhh.”

“Oh.”

“Sweetheart,” she said worriedly. “What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s just stupid,” Magnus shook his head.

“Tell me.”

“It’s just…Alec and my dad…They have this thing. They both love books and poetry so much. They have their text chain and lame puns and inside jokes. I just thought maybe we could have our own thing too.”

“Oh,” she said, nodding slowly. “Do you like law?”

“Ehh, no?”

“George Clooney?”

“Not really.”

“We’ll have a talk about that later,” she said a little sternly. “How about cooking?”

“I can make ramen,” Magnus offered hopefully.

“Good lord,” she sighed.

“It’s alright, Mrs. Lightwood,” he told her, trying not to sound as bummed as he felt. “It’s okay if we don’t have anything in common.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true,” she smiled at him. “We both have an important thing in common.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“We both love Alec very much,” she pointed out. “So we can definitely talk about him.”

“But I know everything about Alec,” Magnus frowned.

“Oh I don’t think you do,” she grinned. “Do you know Alec is terrified of spiders?”

“Well, they are unnecessarily furry and have too many legs,” Magnus pointed out, suddenly feeling the need to defend his man.

“Okay how about umbrellas?” she asked, grinning even wider.

“He is terrified of umbrellas? That’s ridiculous! Tell me more!” he said as he sat down next to her again.

They sat there and talked about Alec for a few more minutes. Mrs. Lightwood told him about the time Alec and Jace tried to break into the New York library with Mr. Herondale and Magnus showed the TikTok dance Isabelle had posted on her Instagram last night.

They spoke and spoke and spoke some more until Isabelle came out of the door and crossed her arms seriously. “I am glad you two are bonding…but Magnus, don’t you have places to go and people to ask out?”

“Shoot,” Magnus said when Isabelle walked towards his Maserati and simply hopped in without another word.

“You see the millennium falcon keychain on her backpack?” he whispered to Mrs. Lightwood. “There is a story there. I’ll tell you later.”

“I can’t wait,” she winked him and waved at the two of them as Magnus pulled the car out towards the street.

They drove to school in comfortable silence – which Magnus didn’t mind. Isabelle plugged her phone into the bluetooth and started playing Beatles hits – which he didn’t mind either. Unlike her brothers, Isabelle had always reached out and took what she wanted. It was a quality Magnus admired – and to be a little honest, kind of feared – about her.

When they reached the school, she hopped of the passenger seat and said ‘nice talk’ even though they hadn’t exchanged a word.

She walked a couple of steps before turning around to look at him, her hair flipping back as if she were in a movie.

“Hey, Magnus! I know it goes without saying – but just so you know…If you ever hurt my brother I will set you on fire and make it look like a lab accident.”

Magnus gulped and nodded at her. She gave him one of her signature dazzling smiles and walked away.

Lightwoods – they mean well.

As soon as he walked into the hallway he realized they were empty, reminding Magnus that he might have spent a little too much time talking to Alec’s mother. He sighed but didn’t regret his decision to stay back and talk to her. Madam/Aunt Lilith, who was always lurking around the hallway, had found him standing there and then given him detention for being late.

Considering he was now in the good graces of Alec's mother, Magnus had zero regrets. Magnus gave his aunt thumbs up and found his way to his first class for the day.

As each period passed, Magnus got more and more restless. He was worried that all the anxiety and tension would make him blurt it out in the most unromantic possible way instead of being eloquent – like Alec’s fictional heroes. Magnus kept reminding himself to calm down. By the time fourth period rolled out, Magnus finished his calculus assignment as quickly as he could and excused himself from the class so he could go talk to Alec.

After sweet talking Madame Dorothea, he found out that Alec had a free period and assumed that the other boy would probably be in the library. He might have got some odd looks as he made his way to there – probably because he was mostly skipping than walking. 

Once he made it to the library, his eyes immediately started searching for his target. But none of the tables had a tall boy with insanely gorgeous blue eyes. Maybe Alec wasn’t here. Maybe he was with Jace in the grounds or something. Magnus walked toward the balcony to see if he could spot the Lightwood boys as the ground was visible from up there. The balcony doors were unusually closed and Magnus frowned before throwing them open.

He heard a shriek, a chuckle, a foot stomping loudly and then a yell.

“Magnus!!” Mr. Herondale said, quickly – and a little reluctantly - untangling himself from Ms. Gray. “Tess was..uh, Ms. Gray fainted so I was giving her mouth-to-mouth.”

“That’s awesome!” Magnus said with a grin. “The whole school has been waiting for a while for you to give her mouth-to-mouth.”

Mr. Herondale laughed again and quickly moved away when Ms. Gray tried to stomp his feet again.

“Can we help you, Magnus?” Ms. Gray asked patiently.

“Yes! I am looking for Alec,” Magnus rubbed his neck awkwardly.

“Classics section,” they both answered at the same time and gave each other a quick smile.

“Oh, of course,” Magnus clicked his tongue. “Thank you!”

Magnus walked of the balcony and closed the doors once again – because long live wessa! – and found his way towards the classics section. And of course, Alec was there sitting on the floor and reading – lost to the rest of the world.

Alec looked so comfortable and happy and safe in that place – an empty library aisle with nothing but a rugged carpet and old books and a handsome boy. Magnus realized that he would gladly live the rest of his life in a library if it meant he’d get to see Alec look that happy and safe and comfortable. Not for the first time, he desperately wished he could make Alec as happy as his books made him.

“Hey,” he whispered – because they were in a library and because it was kinda romantic.

Alec looked up and Magnus instantly drowned in his ocean eyes. “Hey! What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you,” Magnus said quietly as he sat down next to Alec – and suddenly the place didn’t seem alien or unfamiliar.

“I wanted to see you too,” Alec said with a smile. “But I thought you were in class.”

“I finished my assignment early,” Magnus explained and then grinned. “By the way, Operation Wessa is a success!”

“Operation Wessa?” Alec raised an eyebrow and then laughed before quickly covering his mouth. “You mean Mr. Herondale and Ms. Gray? My god, how long have you been planning that?”

“Hey, that’s between me and Ms. Collins,” Magnus winked.

“I thought I was the only one who was sneaking around and playing cupid with you,” Alec teased. “Apparently you have been making plans with the school nurse and god knows who else. Here I thought I was special.”

“But you are special,” Magnus blurted out since he couldn’t help himself.

Alec looked surprised and then smiled. He passed the book he was reading to Magnus. “You wanna read the last line?”

Magnus flipped through the copy of Charlotte’s Web and found what he was looking for.

**_“It’s not often that someone comes along who is a true friend a good writer. Charlotte was both.”_ **

“Apt,” Magnus smiled and picked out the blue box from his backpack. “This is for you.”

Alec stared at the gift and then at Magnus. Alec, who had been showering him with the most thoughtful of gifts, looked utterly shocked that Magnus had reciprocated. He looked as if he had never expected to get a gift from anyone – and certainly not from Magnus.

That’s the kind of person Alec was – he didn’t give gifts to other people so he could get some back. He did it because he liked making other people feel special.

And Magnus had never felt more special than when he was by Alec’s side.

“I know I am not as creative as you are and I certainly can’t come up with something cool as your jar of quotes,” Magnus laughed nervously. “But I kept thinking about what to get you and this is all I could think of. I hope you like it.”

Alec kept staring at him, as if he was going to protest any moment. But then his lips curved into a smile and he mouthed a _Thank You_ before opening the gift. He took it out and gave a surprised chuckle.

“A book? You got me a book?” Alec asked grinning widely, his face brighter than any sun.

Magnus nodded nervously. Alec ran his hands through the cover and randomly opened a page and took in a deep breath.

“Oh yeah, that’s the stuff,” Alec sighed as he inhaled the scent of the new book and Magnus couldn’t help but giggle.

The other boy flipped through the pages and blinked. He flipped through the pages again and then looked back at Magnus.

“It’s empty,” Alec pointed out with a frown. “There is nothing in it.”

“I think there is something on the first page,” Magnus said quietly.

Alec’s long fingers flipped through to the first page carefully, as if he was caressing the head of a newborn infant. He saw the inscription on the first page, written in Magnus’ cursive handwriting and inhaled before reading it out loud in a quiet tone.

**Dear Alexander,**

**I thought long and hard about what to give you. I know it could be nothing other than a book – as they own your heart and soul. But there was no book that I could recommend – not unless you have miraculously developed a sudden interest in chemistry. If you ever do, you must tell me as I would love for you to read The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean.**

**But I don’t think you want to read about chemistry. I wish I read more so I could think of a book you would certainly enjoy. But the truth is, I’ve never really enjoyed reading . I’ve never wanted to read a book…**

**Except for one.**

**So, I hope you write it. I hope you write it so one day when someone asks me to recommend them a book I can recommend your work without hesitation.**

**I know you are scared to tell your story. I know you are worried that it would get lost among hundreds of others. But I want you to know that everyone single one matters. They might have heard hundreds of stories about gay boys from New York, but they have never heard yours.**

**They have never heard the story of the boy who wears his heart on his ragged sweater sleeves. They have never heard the story of the boy who would play cupid and do TikTok dances just to make his siblings smile. They have never heard the story of the boy who lives between the aisles of the classics section.**

**They have never heard the story of Alec Lightwood – archer boy who never misses.**

**You don’t have to tell your story right now. But if you ever do, I wanted to make sure you had everything you needed. So, here is a book for you. It might be empty now. But I truly believe its pages will be filled with by the hands of a beautiful boy who will write a beautiful story – the only one I’ll ever read.**

**For everyone one of us who didn’t get to tell their story – I hope you tell yours.**

**Magnus.**

Alec was painfully quiet, his hands on the book and eyes on the words. Magnus didn’t know what to think.

“I know that it’s not the first edition of Wuthering Heights,” he laughed nervously, his voice unfamiliar even to his own ears. “But technically, it _is_ a first edition – or it will be.”

Alec looked up now, his blue eyes displaying a mountain of mountain of emotions Magnus couldn’t decipher.

“I’m…beautiful?”

The question caught him off guard. It was not what he had expected Alec to say at all.

“Of course you are” Magnus replied incredulously.

Alec nodded solemnly and stared back at the book. Magnus wondered if he had overstepped. He could be a little over-the-top sometimes and some people did not take it well. Maybe Alec was one of those people too.

“You really think I am capable of writing something good?” Alec asked.

“I think you are capable of writing something great,” Magnus answered.

Alec smiled and shook his head. “You are my favorite person in the whole world, you know that right?”

Magnus looked up and blinked at Alec.

“I am?”

“Of course you are,” Alec replied incredulously.

“Well, um, good,” Magnus nodded, hiding his blush. “Because there is something I want to ask you.”

“Anything for you,” Alec said so simply that it made Magnus' heart ache.

“Alec, I want-”

The school bell had never sounded louder or more annoying than in that moment. Alec looked at his phone and his eyes widened in shock.

“Shit, we gotta go,” Alec said hastily. “We need to get to the cafeteria.”

“Why?” Magnus was suddenly worried. “What’s wrong?”

“Jace is going to ask Clary out,” Alec grinned.

Magnus blinked.

“OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING EVERYBODY STAY CALM!!!”

“Magnus!” Alec hissed. “You don’t scream in the library unless you want to get detention.”

“Yikes, no thanks!” Magnus grimaced. “I already have detention today.”

“What for?” Alec frowned, getting up and offering Magnus his hand.

“I got late for school,” Magnus shrugged as he pulled himself up.

“Tsk tsk,” Alec said fondly they walked out of the library. “Do you want to go back to your friends?”

“And miss witnessing the birth of Clace? Alexander, how could you even suggest that???” Magnus said in mock offense.

“Of course of course,” Alec raised his hand in surrender. “Hey! What did you want to ask me? In there?”

“I’ll tell you after this,” Magnus winked.

He had been waiting for months to do this. He could certainly wait for a couple of more minutes. But as they waited for Jace in the hallway, Magnus was starting to get more and more impatient.

“How long is he going to take?” Magnus asked staring at his phone.

“Gimme a sec,” Alec said and walked away with his phone.

Magnus saw Alec gesturing wildly as he spoke to Jace. Magnus walked closer to see if everything was okay.

“What do you mean cold feet? It looks fine! Just bring it, alright?” Alec hissed into the phone. “No! I am not asking first. You have to do it first!...Because you got heads!...Jace, don’t you dare insult my coin flipping skills!”

“Is everything okay?” Magnus asked and Alec got so startled that he almost dropped his phone.

“Yes, of course. Everything is just great,” Alec gave him thumbs up. “Jace, get your ass over here right now!”

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he is a just little nervous. He’ll be here soon,” Alec reassured him.

They were standing side by side in the relatively empty hallway waiting for one half of Clace to arrive. Magnus wondered if he should ask Alec out right now. It couldn’t take more than a minute to do it right?

But no. He didn’t want to steal Jace’s thunder. He looked up to see Alec rapidly blinking at him and frowned.

“Alexander, are you okay?” Magnus questioned worriedly. “You keep blinking. Is something in your eye?”

“I-what?” Alec looked startled. “No, um, I had some dust or something. All good now.”

Huh.

“Hey, how did the presentation go?” 

“Presentation?” Alec blinked. “What presentation?”

“Your mom said you have an important presentation today?”

“My mom???”

Oops.

“Uh, I went to your home in the morning so I could drop off the book before school,” Magnus explained awkwardly. “You weren’t there and I ran into your mom.”

He didn’t say that he ran into her while he was trying break into Alec’s bedroom – but maybe Alec didn’t have to know that piece of information. He hoped Alec’s mom would somehow forget to tell Alec that embarrassing detail too.

“What did she tell you?” Alec asked suspiciously.

“Nothing!” Magnus said, maybe a little too quickly and a little too defensively. “She just mentioned you had an important presentation to do today and that’s why you left home early.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. The presentation. It is…I haven’t done it yet,” Alec said awkwardly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Magnus smiled. “You are gonna do great!”

“God, I really hope so,” Alec muttered under his breath.

Magnus was about to ask him why Alec was so nervous when Jace walked over to them waving around a piece of paper.

“Okay okay I am sorry I'm late,” Jace said as he joined them. “But I got second thoughts about the drawing but then I added some red to the hair and I think I finally got it.”

Alec must have noticed the lost expression on his face. “Jace drew a portrait of Clary – so he can give it to her when he asks her out. I really don’t see why you have to do it, Jace!”

“Because it’s really romantic to give a sentimental gift before asking someone out,” Jace pointed out in frustration. “Magnus, back me up here!”

“Uh, yeah, I don’t know about that,” Magnus shrugged, his face burning.

“Listen, I worked on this all night! I wanted to capture her beauty perfectly!” Jace showed them his portrait and Magnus had to bit his lip to hold back his laughter.

“Okay I am quickly going to go refresh in the bathroom,” Jace informed them as he gave the piece of paper to Alec. “Once I get back, I am going to give this to Clary and ask her okay. Capische?”

As soon as Jace disappeared into the bathroom, Magnus pulled Alec by his elbow. “Alexander, we can’t let him show her that…thing!”

Alec opened the piece of paper and winced a little. “It’s not that bad.”

“Are you kidding me?” Magnus gaped. “That’s not Clary. That’s Princess Fiona from Shrek!”

Alec laughed and shook his head fondly. “Drawing his not Jace’s strong suit. But I think it’s sweet that he tried.”

“God, I hope Clary feels the same way when she sees…that,” Magnus muttered.

“He could have wooed her by writing a poem or playing something on the piano. But he wanted to do something that he knew would make her happy,” Alec explained. “I think Clary would appreciate Jace respecting her interests and making an effort for her.”

Magnus blinked.

Does this mean he had to read books and talk about books with Alec too? Did Alec want that? Would Alec think Magnus wasn’t making enough effort for him?

“Alexander, do you think you would mind I-”

“ALEC! ALEC! ALEC” Jace came running from the bathroom.

Alec’s entire body immediately tensed and his eyes scanned his brother. “What’s wrong? Jace, what happened?”

“My avocado chapstick! I think I lost it. I can’t seem to find it,” Jace all but wailed.

“Jace! I swear to god! How many times???”

“It keeps falling off my pocket! It’s not my fault! I need you to help me!”

Alec took a deep breath and nodded at Jace. “Okay. Alright. Let’s try to find it. What does it look like?”

“It small, green and smells like avocados,” Jace explained.

“What does an avocado even smell like?” Alec asked helplessly.

“It smells like an avocado!!” Jace gestured widly. “Honestly, Alec! What’s the point of life if you don’t stop and smell an avocado every once in a while!”

“I don’t mean to interrupt this colorful conversation,” Magnus butted in. “But why the fuck are we standing in the middle of the hallway and arguing about avocados?”

“Just roll with it,” Alec muttered to him. “Jace, can’t you just talk to Clary without putting on chapstick?”

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND?” Jace asked and plucked the drawing away from Alec’s hands. “Alec, what if she kissed me when I ask her out? I cannot kiss her with these lips! I don’t want her to think I am some dildo with dried lips.”

“Uh, I can assure you that she won’t think that,” Magnus said awkwardly. “Listen, if it is so important. You can use mine. It’s strawberry.”

“Strawberry??” Jace looked horrified. “Magnus, do you want her to reject me? Is that what you want?”

“Why does it have to be avocado?” Alec asked with the patience of a saint.

“Because avocado has natural fats that make it a good moisturizer and that makes my lips super soft,” Jace said sadly. “Strawberry just smells funny and has no nutritional benefits!”

“Hey, now!” Magnus said.

“I am going to call Izzy and ask if she saw it somewhere,” Jace said suddenly. “Don’t go anywhere!!”

“This avocado obsession is a little concerning,” Magnus pointed out as he watched Jace furiously pushing tapping on his phone.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Alec chuckled.

“I am rather worried that he would demand compulsory serving of avocado in the cafeteria every Friday,” Magnus chuckled.

“Bold of you to assume he hasn’t submitted the petition already,” Alec grinned. “Apparently it’s over their weekly budget. Jace was bummed that entire month. We have a dozen avocado trees in our backyard now. He is hoping to supply to the whole school next year.”

“Oh god!”

“Don’t worry, we’d have graduated by then,” Alec grinned. “Good luck to these suckers.”

Magnus laughed with Alec only to be interrupted by Jace again.

“Okay Izzy hasn’t seen it either,” Jace informed them worriedly. “So here is the plan. We split up in three. I’ll search the grounds. Alec, you can take the hallway and Magnus, you ca-”

“Um, excuse me?” a familiar voice said. “Is this yours?”

They all turned around in unison to see Clary standing behind them, holding something small and green in her hands.

Something that probably smelled like avocados.

“I found this in our homeroom,” Clary held up the chapstick. “The label says Lightwood.”

Magnus didn’t know that Jace labeled his belongings – it was a small detail that he found endearing about the other boy. Jace gave them a helpless look and Magnus decided to take one for Team Clace.

“Uh, it’s mine,” Magnus moved forward. “The chapstick is mine!”

He knew that Clary wasn’t sexist and that she didn’t care about boys using chapstick or makeup of any kind. But he understood if Jace didn’t want her to know – especially since they didn’t know each other well.

“No, it isn’t,” Clary gave him a quizzical look. “Your last name is not Lightwood! Besides, you always wear strawberry! I really don’t know why you keep using that piece of garbage by the way. It does nothing for your lips and smells like cupid farts!”

Jace both gasped and giggled at that and Magnus pouted at the both of them.

Okay – he has done enough for Clace today.

“It’s actually mine,” Alec came forward.

“I don’t mean to sound rude,” Clary said awkwardly. “But you don’t look like someone who uses chapstick.”

Alec frowned and sighed. “Okay fine. It’s Izzy’s. She must have dropped it when she came to visit Jace in the homeroom earlier today.”

“Oh,” Clary said, looking a little disappointed. “Oh okay.”

“Fuck the patriarchy,” Jace muttered under his breath and took a step forward. “It’s mine. The chapstick is mine.”

“Oh,” Clary said again but smiled slightly this time. “That’s…nice. Avocado has natural fats which make it a good moisturizer. It can make your lips really soft. Good choice!”

“THAT’S WHAT I SAID!!!” Jace yelled.

“Uh, Sorry. My brother is a little obsessed with avocados,” Alec informed her nervously.

“Does that mean he is an avocad-hoe?” Clary asked and Jace snorted then started to giggle.

“Good god,” Alec whispered with a horrified look. “There are two of them.”

“I use the dye from avocado seeds for my paintings,” Clary told them – actually she was mostly talking to Jace at this point. “You can make the most beautiful shade of peach with it.”

“Where do you get your avocados seeds from?” Jace asked her.

“We have a tree in our backyard,” Clary replied.

“You do?” Jace asked in a daze voice as if Clary had told him that she had a secret tunnel to Disneyland in her backyard.

“Yes. But sometimes the dye doesn’t look that great,” Clary frowned.

“You are probably using avocados with green skins. They don’t have much pink pigment in them,” Jace informed her. “Avocados with black skins make the prettiest pink. There is a type called Brogden that mostly grows in Mexico. They are kind of hard to peel so they are not as popular as the others. But it would be perfect for making dye.”

“Oh, thank you,” Clary said, looking pleased. "What's that?"

Jace looked at the portrait in his hand and looked at Clary nervously. "Um, this is for you."

Alec stared at Magnus and Magnus didn’t know what to do other than just shrug. Clary opened the piece of paper her eyes scanned the image carefully. Magnus quietly prayed that she wouldn't say something mean. 

"It's pretty," Clary smiled. 

"What???" Magnus couldn't help but ask. 

"You really think so?" Jace asked her, ignoring Magnus - and Alec - completely. 

"It's good that you mixed red with orange for the hair," she pointed out. "You got the right shade."

"I just wanted it to be as beautiful as you are," Jace said and Clary blushed. 

Magnus wondered what else he could do with his power of invisibility. 

"I really like what you have done with the eyes," Clary smiled shyly. "The green you have used...I don't think my eyes shine so beautifully."

Jace shook his head. "Clary sage...The plant....drinking it with tea is a traditional treatment for people with poor eyesight. So, in some cultures, Clary also means 'bright eyes'. And just so you know, everything about you shines beautifully."

"I-" Clary said and closed her mouth. "Thank you, Jace. I'll keep this one safe."

“Um, Clary,” Jace said nervously. “Do you know we have a Brogden plant in our green house?”

“Idris has a green house?” Clary asked in disbelief. “I didn’t know that! Guess I still am the new girl.”

“No one really goes there anymore,” Jace shrugged.

“That’s sad,” Clary bit her lip.

“But maybe I could show you after school?” Jace asked shyly.

“I’d like that,” Clary smiled and looked at Magnus.

He winked at her and saw Jace mouthing ‘OH MY GOD’ at Alec.

“Let me walk you to class,” Jace told Clary and offered his hand. She took it with a shy smile and the two of them walked away together talking and laughing.

Magnus turned around to see Alec grinning like a madman and shaking his head in disbelief.

“Avocados? Are you kidding me right now? I cannot believe that we spent months trying to get them together and they just…Magnus, we should have just sent them to the goddamn farmer’s market!”

“I told you they were soulmates,” Magnus grinned at the other boy.

“Freaking avocados,” Alec muttered under his breath and chuckled again. “Well, I hope it works out.”

“I think it will,” Magnus smiled and then suddenly remembered his own mission. “Alec, about what I wanted to tell-”

The loud shriek interrupted him again. One of these days he was going to walk into the admin office and set that thing on fire. It had the worst timing!

“Forget about the bell,” Alec gestured. “What did you want to tell me?”

The hallways started to get flooded by students and suddenly they weren’t alone anymore.

“I’ll tell you later,” Magnus tried to smile.

“How about after school?” Alec asked a little urgently. “We could meet up after school – because I really need to talk to you too.”

“I have detention,” Magnus said, regretting his late arrival a little right now.

“Oh, yeah,” Alec looked disappointed.

“How about tomorrow?” Magnus asked. He was going to do it the first thing in the morning. No monkeying around.

“Yes, okay, tomorrow,” Alec said, sounding a little distracted. “I gotta go meet Izzy. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Later,” Magnus called after Alec who was running towards the cafeteria now.

Magnus spent the next periods pouting. He went to the chemistry lab after school and sat down in his regular spot. Mr. Branwell had to leave early as his wife was pregnant. He had asked Magnus not to burn down the chemistry lab during detention. Magnus was not in the mood for experiments anyway so he had sat down in the lab and had tried to focus on his calculus homework. He was trying to see if we could magically make his homework do itself when he heard someone knocking on the door.

“Alec?” Magnus asked when he looked up. “What are you doing here?”

“I got detention,” Alec shrugged as he walked into the lab and sat down next to Magnus.

“You?” Magnus gaped. “What did you do?”

“I screamed in the library,” Alec mumbled and Magnus gaped even more.

“You…screamed…in the library?” Magnus repeated. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to see you,” Alec said simply.

Magnus tried his best not to grin like an idiot. “You got into detention so you can see me?”

“You’re the only person I would purposely get into detention for,” Alec said shyly and Magnus was suddenly hit by a strong sense of deja vu.

This time Magnus couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. “Why did you need to see me?”

“Um, yes,” Alec nodded and pulled out a notebook from his backpack. “Izzy needed your help with her homework.”

The grin on his face died immediately - so technically Alec had gotten into detention for his sister.

“Of course,” Magnus smiled at the other boy anyway. “Give it here.”

Alec passed him the book nervously and Magnus saw the equation written on the notebook.

“But this is basic math,” Magnus frowned. “I am sure Isabelle doesn’t need my help for this.”

“I dunno,” Alec shrugged. “She said I should show this to you.”

“Alright then,” Magnus shrugged and looked at the formula.

As he solved it, Alec was tapping his fingers against the table, staring nervously at Magnus. Magnus wondered if Alec felt out of place in the lab as much as Magnus felt out of place in the library.

Magnus finished the equation and passed it to Alec. “Here you go.”

Alec stared at him in disbelief. “Are you sure? Are you sure that’s the right answer?”

“Of course I am,” Magnus replied as Alec stared at the book. “I told you before. This is really basic mat-”

“Check it again,” Alec thrust the book back into his hands.

Magnus sighed and nodded. He was a little tired and sad today. So maybe he might have made an error. He checked it carefully this time but there was nothing wrong with it.

“Nope, it’s right,” Magnus informed the other boy. “Alec, I know you are not a fan of math. But trust me, this is corre-”

“Oh my god, Magnus!” Alec yelled. “It says I love you!!!”

Magnus blinked, staring at Alec’s frustrated and helpless face. He looked down at the notebook again.

**9x – 7i > 3 (3x – 7u)**

**9x – 7i > 9x – 21u**

**-7i > -21u**

**7i < 21u**

**i < 3u**

Magnus stared at the notebook and then at Alec.

**i <3 u**

“Oh my god!” Magnus exclaimed. “Isabelle loves me???”

“NO, YOU IDIOT! I DO! I LOVE YOU!!!”

“But this is Isabelle’s homework, why woul-” Magnus stopped halfway and registered what Alec had just yelled. “Wait. You love me?”

“Magnus,” Alec said his name with exaggerated patience. “I spent the last few months coming up with ridiculous plans for a project with a ridiculous name. I tried to set my brother up with a girl I barely knew because you asked me to. I just got into detention for you!!!”

“You didn’t have to do all of that for me,” Magnus mumbled.

“But I wanted to,” Alec said, taking a step forward. “I would do it all over again – for you.”

“Oh my god,” Magnus said, half in relief and half in disbelief. “You really love me.”

“I really do,” Alec said and started playing around with the edges of his sweater. “Do you, uh, do you love me?”

Magnus couldn’t help but smile at that.

“Is Dmitri Mendeleev the inventor of the modern periodic table?” Magnus asked.

“I honestly don’t know but I hope the answer is yes,” Alec chuckled nervously. “Otherwise this is going to get really awkward.”

“Alexander,” Magnus said softly. “Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t go around asking just anyone if they want to make love with me.”

Alec laughed that. “Well, I am glad. Also, you should really stop saying that.”

“Never,” Magnus grinned. “This whole formula idea…I should have known you would do something cheesy and romantic like this!”

Alec blushed. “Jace told me that if we want someone to understand us we have to speak their language. I could have written you another poem. But you didn't really get my subtle hints the first time. So I wanted to speak your language. I asked Izzy to help me come up with a formula.”

“I like it,” Magnus smiled at him. “It’s so you.”

“I can’t believe you missed it this time too,” Alec chuckled. “Your father was right! You are an oblivious idiot!!”

“He knew about this???” Magnus gaped. “He knows you love me?”

“He has known the whole time,” Alec told him shyly.

“That man is so grounded!!” Magnus told the other boy, who was laughing now.

Magnus moved forward and reached out for Alec’s hand. He slowly lifted it to his lips and laid a soft kiss in his palm. Alec gasped a little and laced his fingers through Magnus’ own.

“I never thought I’d get to live in a fairytale – let alone get my happy ending,” Alec sighed softly.

“Oh I can definitely give you a happy ending,” Magnus grinned.

“Stop that,” Alec chastised, but blushed anyway. “I just…I’ve been reading all these stories for so long that one point that I thought that maybe this is just a story too. I thought this was some fictional story my mind created – like the ones I created when I was small. It just seemed too good to be true.”

“It’s not a story,” Magnus said softly. “This is real. We are real. You know that, right?”

“I do,” Alec smiled and moved closer to Magnus. He was staring at Magnus’ face intently. His eyes roaming around Magnus eyes, the glitter, and the lip gloss – every inch of his face. “Sometimes I look at you and I…You are so beautiful, Magnus. That’s how I know. Even I can’t create something perfect like this.”

“Stop that,” Magnus chastised this time, but he couldn’t stop blushing either.

Alec, who was now holding Magnus’ face in his hands, moved closer. His face was inches away and Magnus closed his eyes and smiled. He waited for Alec’s lips to meet his. He waited for hear a million fireworks explode in his mind.

But all he heard was a loud familiar laugh.

He opened his eyes to see Alec looking startled – and a little annoyed as well. They moved toward the window and opened the blinds to find Jace and Clary sitting outside the lab, in the grass – holding hands.

“I stayed back for too long,” Clary laughed again. “I should really go home now.”

“You really should,” Jace smiled.

“Will I see you again tomorrow?” Clary asked shyly as she got up and dusted the grass off her jeans.

The smile on Jace’s face dropped and Magnus felt Alec tense next to him.

“Clary, I-” Jace said and shook his head. “I don’t want to-”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to date me,” Clary said quickly, trying and failing not to look heartbroken. 

“I don’t want to date anyone but you,” Jace said so sincerely that Magnus couldn’t help but be happy for his biscuit.

“Then what’s wrong?” Clary asked, kneeling down next to him again. “Tell me.”

“I…I have demons.”

“Demons?” Clary frowned.

“I have seen things, Clary. I’ve been through things that are too hard to talk about,” Jace said so softly that Magnus could barely hear him. “I feel that everything that happened to me when I was a kid…It has changed me.”

He saw Clary’s hand moving forward to take Jace’s at the same his own instinctively moved towards Alec’s. 

“Changed you how?” Clary asked.

“Like I am not fully good,” Jace was looking at his knotted fingers. “Like there is a darkness inside me. I wish I was more like Alec. Alec is nothing but good. There is no darkness in him. He is all light. He is a real Lightwood. I am just…I am a Darkwood or something.”

Magnus saw Alec’s impassive face – his hand gripping Magnus’ tightly.

“Darkwood is a horrible last name,” Clary chuckled nervously.

“God, I must sound like some angst ridden teenager,” Jace groaned. “I know I am not the only fifteen year old with a tragic backstory. I am sorry if I am not what you expected. I am sorry I am such a cliché.”

“You are not a cliché,” he heard Alec whisper next to him.

“Sometimes it’s okay to be a cliché, Jace,” Clary told him softly. “It reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles. You are right. You are not the only fifteen year old with a tragic backstory. I am one too. People go through hard times and people survive. You are a survivor, just like me.”

Jace gave her a small smile. “I just…I want to be the boyfriend you deserve. I am sure you wouldn’t want to date a football captain who cries about his mot-”

“Let’s just make one thing clear,” Clary interrupted him firmly. “I don’t want to date you so I can wear your football jersey in the hallway. I want to date you so we can make bad puns together and talk about exotic trees that grow in Mexico. I don’t want to date the captain of the football team who wins every game. I want to date the boy who took care of the greenhouse at Idris even when everyone abandoned it.”

Jace reached out and pushed a strand of her red hair back. “You are just saying all of this because you think this angsty stuff is sexy.”

“I’m not gonna lie, it is a little sexy,” Clary chuckled and Jace finally laughed. Magnus felt Alec relax next to him at the sound of his brother’s laughter.

“If we are going to do this, really do this,” Jace said nervously. “You must know that I might always be fighting demons. This is not a phase. You won’t the girl who fixes me.”

“I don’t want to fix you,” Clary said. “Because there is nothing to be fixed. And I am okay with you fighting your demons. I got my demons too, you know. Maybe we can fight our demons together?”

“I’d like that,” Jace smiled. “So, you are really okay with all the baggage? Are you okay with putting up with all of this for god knows how long?”

“I promise you. I would never expect a redemption arc from you,” Clary smiled.

“Good,” Jace nodded. “Because there might never be a redemption arc, Clary. This is who I am and this who I will always be.”

“Good,” Clary smiled and threaded her lean fingers through Jace’s golden hair. “Because I like you fine just like this. I like you, Jace. Jace _Light_ wood.”

Jace leaned forward and pressed his lips against Clary’s and Magnus felt Alec pulled him back.

“That’s our cue to stop stalking,” Alec laughed a little nervously.

“You know we made that right?” Magnus said, pointing at the glass window which was now covered by the blinds again. “Look at the love we made.”

“I am serious,” Alec laughed. “You have got to stop saying that.”

“I know they seem very different,” Magnus told the other boy. “But I think Clary and Jace are cut from the same cloth. They are both so strong and resilient. They are perfect for each other. I think they are going to be just fine.”

“What about us?” Alec asked, biting his lip. “Do you think we are perfect for each other? That we are cut from the same cloth?”

“We are not. I am silk and you are cashmere,” Magnus said and Alec rolled his eyes. “But it’s okay. Your mom told me that it’s okay to be different. She said it doesn’t matter if we fit together – as long as work hard to be together.”

“Of course she did,” Alec smiled. “What else did she say?”

“Something about umbrellas,” Magnus grinned as Alec pouted. “She also called me sweetheart.”

“Yeah?” Alec asked fondly. “I think it suits you.”

“You think so?”

“Well, I am her sweety and you own my heart. So, yes,” Alec pointed out. “I cannot wait to tell your dad about this. I am going to text him as soon as I get home. I was supposed to talk to him about the new Neil Gaiman book anyway.”

The smile on Magnus’ face dropped and Alec immediately moved closer. “Magnus, what is it?”

“I don’t read,” Magnus pointed out lamely – as if Alec already didn’t know.

“That’s okay,” Alec said, taking his hand. “I read enough for both of us.”

Magnus looked at his shoes and nodded quietly. Alec’s lean fingers found his face and lifted it up so he could see his eyes.

“I mean it. I don’t mind that you don’t like to read,” Alec said seriously and then suddenly looked nervous. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Mind what?” Magnus asked, confused.

“That I read too much,” Alec bit his lip.

“Alexander, I don’t think there is such a thing as reading too much,” Magnus said.

“I know, I know,” Alec sighed. “It’s just…It’s not the most interesting hobby in the world. I am not cool like you.”

“Because almost setting yourself on fire in the chemistry lab is the new cool,” Magnus chuckled.

“You know what I mean,” Alec mumbled.

“I don’t care,” Magnus said seriously now. “I don’t think reading makes you lame. Don’t tell him I said this - but my father reads all the time and he is the coolest person I know. I love that you read so much.”

“You do?” Alec asked his voice a little brighter.

“I do. I love how when you are frustrated you say Emily Brontë instead of Jesus Christ. I love how you roll your eyes every time I mispronounce the name of an author. I love how you smell a book before you read it for the first time. I love how you hold books like they are newborn babies. I love how you apologize to a book when accidentally drop it. I love how you scream at a character when they do something stupid. I love all of it.”

“You noticed,” Alec said softly.

“I might not like reading. But I really like you. They make you happy and they are a part of you. So I don’t mind,” Magnus promised. “Honestly, I wish I could make you as happy as your books do.”

Alec moved forward suddenly and took Magnus’ face in his hands.

“You do. God, Magnus. You really do. You make me feel at home than any library. You make me feel inspired than any author. You make me feel loved than any character. You make me happier than any book. Magnus Bane, you are my magic and my muse.”

Magnus’ face moved forward of its own accord.

The moment his lips touched Alec’s, Magnus felt his heart explode – slowly and all at once. Alec gripped his face softly and kissed him like it was the only thing he wanted to do for the rest of his life – and Magnus was okay with that.

Magnus had never really believed in god. He had never really believed in anything but science. He had always believe that any phenomenon could be explained with numbers.

But as he kissed Alec, as he felt Alec smile against his lips, he knew that there was no theory or formula that could explain this. Magnus had never believed in magic more than he did in that moment.

After what seemed like a second or a century, Alec’s hand gently reached out and brushed away Magnus’ hair from his face. He was smiling as if he was thinking of a private joke.

“What is it?” Magnus asked, frowning at the gesture.

“Nothing,” Alec said. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Alexander,” Magnus whispered back. “Can I ask you something? Will you go prom with me?”

Alec nodded and smiled at him – that soft smile that knew just how to melt Magnus’ heart. “Anything for you.”

"Anything for you," Magnus repeated the phrase with a smile. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Alec replied. “Why else would I say it?”

“I dunno,” Magnus said. “Because it sounds nice.”

“Magnus, if I wanted to say things that sounded nice then I’d be reading you Yeats or Wordsworth,” Alec chuckled.

“Hmmm,” Magnus hummed. “I think I’d like that.”

Alec pulled him closer and kissed him again – as passionately and earnestly as the first time. Magnus had thought that nothing could beat the first kiss – that it was some sort of magic that could never be recreated. But with Alec – he felt like every kiss could be a first. He felt like every kiss would be magic.

“Magnus,” Alec whispered against his lips.

“Yes, Alexander?”

“I really enjoyed making love with you.”

Magnus couldn’t help but smile then – and he knew he wasn’t going to stop smiling for a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> So, that's a wra-
> 
> WAIT. HOLD ON! DO I SEE ANOTHER CHAPTER? WHOAH! WHAT???? IS THAT A FUCKING EPILOGUE? DANI, YOU SLY FOX!!
> 
> Okay but before you rush off to read the epilogue...
> 
> Fun fact: Avocados contain four grams of protein, making them the fruit with the highest protein content! (AVOCADOS FOREVER, SUCKERZ!!!)


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten years later, in an apartment in Brooklyn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise???

Magnus perched himself on the couch next to the balcony, his favorite spot in their apartment. He crossed his legs and sat on top of them, pulling the blanket around him a little tighter. Alec had gone to the university a little earlier today since his students had their exams. It wasn’t easy being the youngest professor at NYU. Magnus had been a little alarmed to find out that his father and his boyfriend would be working in the same place. But he had realized that the two of them couldn’t get closer than they already were and so he had given Alec his blessing.

Of course he had been tempted to join Maryse’s law firm just to tease Alec – but the offer from Columbia had been too good to refuse. Magnus loved his job – he loved spending his time researching in a lab and creating magic with science. It was what his mother had wanted and it was what he wanted to do too. But today was not the day for science.

Magnus had taken the day off because he only wanted to do one thing today. He picked up the copy of Alec’s book from the table and ran his hands through the cover. Despite not having visited his school in years, the picture of the Idris High hallway seemed so familiar that Magnus could see it perfectly if he closed his eyes.

**Let’s Make Love Together**

Magnus’s fingers caressed the cover as he fondly chuckled at his boyfriend’s antics. He outlined Alec’s name on the cover with his finger, slowly and proudly – feeling insanely happy for him.

Alec had been planning and writing his first book for the last two years. He had told Magnus that he was going to write about his high school days – but he hadn’t said anything more.

Of course, Alec had serious discussions and brainstorming sessions with Magnus’ father, Jace, Mr. Herondale – and even Lucie, Alec’s agent. But Magnus was not included in any of the discussions and to be honest he didn’t want to be a part of it either.

He was rather worried about not being able to offer Alec any constructive criticism like everyone else. He was fine with being supportive from the background and he had promised Alec that he would read his book the day it was released.

And today was that day. Magnus fought the ridiculous urge to flip through to the last page. He had promised Alec he would read the whole thing and so he opened the book and started to read.

_“To everyone who couldn’t tell their story – this one's for you”_

Magnus smiled. He couldn’t believe that Alec remembered after all these years. But Alec had indeed written his first draft on the book Magnus had gifted almost a decade ago. Alec had held on to that empty book for years to make true on his promise.

**_Acknowledgements_ **

_I was a little hesitant to share this story with the world – a part of me wanted to keep it to myself as it was mine to love and mine to protect. I guess I was a little selfish too._

_But then I realized that I wouldn’t be who I am today if my favorite authors had chosen to be selfish. So, this is me sharing my story, hoping it will one day encourage you to share yours._

_This book wouldn’t have been possible if not for the most amazing group of people._

_Mom, Dad, Jace, Izzy and Max - My family. I wouldn’t be the man I am today if not for your love and support and constant reminders about healthy sleeping schedules. Being a Lightwood has made me believe in love more than any classic I’ve ever read._

_Mr. Herondale – my mentor. I wouldn’t be the author I am today if not for your faith and encouragement and top notch book recommendations. Being your student taught me everything I ever needed to be a writer._

_Mr. Asmodeus Bane – my inspiration. I wouldn’t be the lecturer I am today if not for your guidance, kindness and confidence in me despite my mild obsession with twilight. Being your apprentice has made me realize my potential and strength._

_My agent Lucie – you are a true friend and possibly the scariest Herondale yet. Thank you for putting up with me and my midnight rewrites. To Clary and Simon, I cannot believe you two weaseled your way into my life and are still part of it even a decade later. Thank you for all the coffee, criticism and cuddles. To Maia, Aline, Helen, Lily, Catarina (and Raphael – I included your name you can’t do anything about it now). To all my friends, I wouldn’t be as stressed as I am if not for your astounding ability to continuously get into trouble. Don’t ever change._

_And finally._

_My Magnus – my magic and my muse. I wouldn’t be the happiest man in the world today if not for your heart and beauty and morning kisses. Being the love of your life has been the greatest privilege of mine._

Magnus reached out and grabbed a tissue from the box and wiped his tears. He wasn’t even a single page into the book and he was already crying. This was going to be an emotional ride. He took a deep breath and turned over the page.

_**Chapter 1 – Literature** _

_I closed my copy of Wuthering Heights and stared at the ceiling. I know I could have picked any British Classic I’ve wanted for the assignment – but none of the others captured the innocence of childhood, beauty of love and pain of isolation like this one._

_My name is Alec Lightwood. I am a sixteen year old gay boy from New York who liked talking about fictional people more than taking about the real ones._

_I guess my life was pretty normal. I was in the closet, passing my exams, taking care of my siblings and minding my own business._

_Everything about my life seemed nothing but mundane - until one day Magnus Bane walked into detention and asked me to make love with him._

Magnus laughed at that and shook his head fondly. He continued to read, page after page after page. He now knew that Alec had been in love with him the whole time – even before Operation Clace. But reading about it now, seeing Alec’s feelings on the page – his pain, his love and his longing, Magnus wanted to reach through the pages and give that boy a hug.

He kept reading – only stopping here and there to answer a phone call or get a snack. It wasn’t just that he wanted to read the book because he had promised Alec to do so. He genuinely enjoyed Alec’s writing. It was honest, pure and light – like Alec himself.

Magnus read about their ridiculous adventures of Operation Clace and tried not to laugh. He wondered what Jace and Clary would think of it. He hoped they wouldn’t tease Alec - or him - considering the two of them were still together since the very first day. Despite Jace’s constant travelling for his concerts and Clary’s busy schedules with her exhibitions, they somehow always made it work. Magnus had known then and Magnus knew now – they were soulmates. They molded their clay and fought for each other every single day.

He cried when he read about Alec coming out to his mother. He blushed when he read about Alec’s descriptions his beauty. He laughed when he read Alec’s chaotic gay moments. He felt so many emotions throughout the book and he wondered how strong Alec must have been to go through all of these events in a few months. 

Despite knowing Alec’s story and despite being a part of it, Magnus couldn’t help but feel a little inspired after reading the book. It made him outrageously happy to realize Alec’s story would inspire so many others too.

“Babe, I am home!” he heard Alec say from somewhere in the apartment. A phrase that Magnus had gotten used to but was never tired of hearing.

“I am out in the balcony,” Magnus yelled, not wanting to move his eyes away from the book. He had only one more page to go.

“Okay, I am gonna hop in the shower,” Alec shouted back.

Magnus turned the last page and took a deep breath.

_So, that’s my story._

_I am not sure if it was a cliché or not. I am not sure if it will inspire you or not. But I hope you find yours. I hope you find a story that you can’t help but want to share with the rest of the world._

_Now that you’ve read the book and find yourself in the last page, you know that this page means more to me than it does to most people._

_Magnus, if you have read the entire book as you promised, thank you. I want you to know that this would be my biggest accomplishment as an author. If you skipped to the last page – that’s okay. If you only read the last one – that’s okay too. You are still my favorite person in the whole world._

_I put a lot of thought into the last line of this book – probably more than I did for the rest of it. It wasn’t just because I knew for a fact you would read this part – but also because I wanted to write the perfect ending to our story._

_Then I realized that our story doesn’t end here. It’s only our beginning._

_So, here is one more last line for you._

_Magnus Bane, will you marry me?_

Magnus put down the book in shock only to find Alec kneeling in front of him – with a bright ring in his hand and a brighter smile on his face. His blue eyes were glowing more than any light in New York City.

“Well?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a relatively easy fic - but somehow it turned to be the most difficult one to write. I wouldn't have been able to finish it if not for your encouragement. Thank you for helping me make love (no regrets).
> 
> 2020 had been a bitch - there is no sugarcoating it. But writing this fic has been one of the few things that has brought me peace and comfort in these difficult times. So, I hope you keep searching for things that make you feel happy, safe and comfortable. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story of LMLT Magnus and Alec. I know I did. Dani x. 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante
> 
> Fun fact: Ernest Hemingway and Truman Capote both sharpened pencils to help them think while they were writing.


End file.
